M E A N I N G F U L
M I S T A K E S
Chapter Forty Four
"Is this really necessary?" I ask Hunter while he walks with me outside of the apartment complex to where Jake Miller is sitting in his car alongside the front of the building.
My hand in securely within his grip. "Yes, yes it is." I could've sworn he said this through gritted teeth. It's safe for me to assume that he doesn't like the plans today, and wanted to come along with us.
I nearly laughed when I tried leaving the apartment and he began acting like a parent taking their child to a play date. I feel as if I'm being passed over and be told my special instructions that have to be followed.
Jake looks out of the passenger side window, his smile melting away when he sees Hunter walking me to his car with a displeased look on his face.
Jake pulls of his sunglasses and clears his throat. Hunter opens the passenger door for me to slip in. "Hey Hunt-"
"I don't like of any of this. It would've been easier if you rescheduled to wait for me." My boyfriend immediately silences Jake who has a defeated sigh escaping his lips.
Hunter closes my door, but bends down enough to speak to Jake through the open window. "Yeah I figured that-"
"I'm being serious, Jake." Once again, Hunter interrupts him. "I want you to drive so slow and safely that you'll make the old ladies look like race car drivers. I want Becky in between you two at all times, and I want Lollipops in one piece. If she's not, or one hair on her head is missing- you're the one I'm coming for, Miller."
I nearly shudder at the list of requests and the tone of his voice. The last time I was in a car with Jake driving, things hadn't gone so well. It's clear there is still a lot of unresolved trust issues between the two- another one being that Hunter is aware Jake had kissed me months ago.
"Yes, of course I'll make sure she's safe, but that's ridiculous! I've known her for a lot longer than you have, you don't need to make Becky be Switzerland." Jake exclaims with a laugh in the mix.
Through it all, Jake understands the worry from Hunter. After all, he was the one who pulled both of us out of the wreck.
"Gosh," I huff out and lean back into the seat. Both boys turn their eyes to me. "You two need to stop acting like you're both in love with one another, otherwise you're going to make me jealous."
Like I hoped, the comment writhers under their skin. They share a look of disgust.
"Him?" Jake says dramatically while pointing at Hunter. "That's disgusting! I swear Lolita, you welcomed Satan's spawn into our lives." I laugh at their horror, although to me, it's clear they have a very weird relationship. "Alright, hurry it up. We have to go."
Hunter rolls his eyes at Jake, but then turns to look at me, with eyebrows dropping and eyes melting. "Sure you want to go? You can always come with mom and I today."
"It's okay." I'm not sure where his sudden clinging side of him has birthed from. I can blame it on the trust issues between him and Jake, or perhaps it's happened since this is the first time I'll be apart from him after admitting his New York past. "Go spend some time with your mom, I'll be back for dinner."
He smiles, but it doesn't meet his eyes. "Keep me updated? Even if I don't text back just keep telling me if everything is going okay, or if you're going somewhere else, or if there's anything you want to tell me." Hunter bends down low enough to press a kiss to my lips. "Have fun."
I smile back, keeping my head close to his. "You too." Rose had planned for them to spend their Sunday driving two cities over in a posh looking town, which is why Hunter can't join Jake, Becky, and I for a much needed shopping trip.
Oddly enough, we also have to travel over the Lacewood Bridge and to the next city in order to find a decent mall.
"I mean everything I said, Jake. I'll count the hairs on her head if I have to. Drive safely." The Miller boy releases a nervous hum from the stern look shot by Hunter. Jake automatically forces up the window and drives away- escaping the brown haired boy still watching the car fade down the street.
The boy beside me sighs for what feels like the thousand time. I glance over, wondering if he is capable of breathing properly now. He seems relatively fine, only baring red cheeks.
"Damn it Lolita, he scares the shit out of me when it comes to you. Sometimes, I worry that he's going to hit me. Again."
"He wouldn't." I can't help but laugh at the secret fear he has for my boyfriend. "Hunter knows that I would be furious if he hurts you. That'll keep you safe."
"Welcome the role of being my bodyguard." Jake jokes before parking alongside a curb in the residential area. "Alright girly. Get in the back." He jabs a thump over his shoulder and I gape at him.
"What? Why?" Jake nervously pat his thigh when I glare at him.
"Quick, just hop in the back." The nerves within him are growing so much that I nearly fall into shock. I cannot believe he is kicking me out of the front seat.
"Okay, okay." I mutter, and dive unpleasantly between the two seats so I land on the back one. "Am I that annoying you don't want me in the passenger side?" I buckle my new seatbelt.
Then I see Jake turn his head out the window, watching a lively Becky stride down the stone path from a pale yellow house, and climb in the passenger seat.
So that's why I was kicked in the back.
"Hey guys!" She happily sings, her cheery voice immediately lighting Jake's up. They're perfect together, and I'm not sure if they can see it.
Becky spins in her seat, facing me while Jake begins the forty minute drive through the thick surrounding forest. "You could've had the front seat if you wanted, Lolita."
Jake tenses subtly, but I notice how he turns his head to shield the attempts to hold his laughter in. "It's okay. Jake made it awfully clear that he only wants you in the front."
Throwing Jake under the bus forces Becky's lips part to accomodate the intake of breath, and Jake's grip on the wheel tightens enough for his knuckles to be white.
They both become painfully awkward and nervous.
The slight tint of pink on Becky's cheeks and unmoving posture indicates further that her feelings towards Jake go deeper than friendly.
I have known Jake for so long to tell that he likes Becky, perhaps the same way she does to him. I sit back and bathe in their reactions- knowing these two in front of me are a match made in heaven.
My feet are begging me to take a seat. I am so desperate that I would be willing to sit in the food court filled with smells of grease and salt just to relieve my poor feet.
"Why did we even decide to do this again?" I need the reassurance that this is for a reason better than 'because we can'. I chose to wear my new boots today- completely forgetting about breaking them in. They've only gifted me the pain of blisters, and I have no bandaids with me to help.
Becky smiles just how she's been doing all day. I haven't seen her frown once. "Because we're getting our outfits for the school dance next week." She scans the endless rack of colourful dresses.
Jake glances around sheepishly, though he is hardly affected by being in a store filled with girls clothes. His hands stay by his sides, but I push through the sparkly or frilly dresses to distract my mind from the blisters. "You and Jake have to find outfits. I'm not going."
Becky freezes and snaps her head to me. "You're not coming with us?" She sounds surprised, wondering why the cheer captain is skipping a school dance. "Isn't is expected for the cheerleading captain to go?"
I sigh and examine a fluffy looking dress. "I guess." It's not necessarily a rule, more like tradition. I've gone before, but it became harder after the party with Noah. "I don't feel like going this year. I don't like places packed with teenagers and loud music." This silences both of them, but Jake's cheeks turn pale at the memory. "You guys keep looking in here, I'm going to find the bathrooms."
I do need to use the bathroom, but I mostly am using the time to rest my feet. I leave the store, it being one of the many we've been to, and search for the bathrooms.
This mall makes me feel uneasy. I don't like the emptiness of people it has, or the flickering lights, or how most wall's white paint is chipped. The town here is only slightly bigger than Lacewood, so there's hardly anyone to visit this shopping centre. Most people take the effort of driving further away to a better and bigger shop.
If I thought the mall was creepy, the hallway to the bathrooms is unsettling. Anxiety begins spiking at the tiled walls that look like something from a horror film.
It's enough for me to fastened my movements to the end to make it safety inside the female bathroom.
I deeply regretted coming today. I wish I convinced them to reschedule so William, Chuck, and Hunter could've joined. Unfortunately my best friend is spending the day with his boyfriend, and Hunter is with Rose.
After spending at least five minutes sitting on the toilet, trying to let my feet rest for as long as possible, I force myself to wash my hands and head into the weary hall.
I dig my hands into the pockets of Hunter's hoodie I have 'borrowed' to wear with a pair of black jeans. I didn't want to dress fancy just to sit in a car for forty minutes and walk where no one knows me.
I spot movement approaching me in the dimly lit hall, vaguely seeing a shadowy man. I keep my head down, and move to the left side to let them pass.
Though it may just be a person, the resting anxiety within me begins to grow. Since stepping outside the store and being on my own for the first time today, it woke and pushed me on a thin tight rope.
If I allow myself to fall over the rope, I have the deep pool of anxiety and fear to land in. Something I try to avoid.
A hand wraps roughly around forearm, jerking me to a stop. The anxiety explodes. The shady man steps in front of me while keeping the deadly grip on my arm. I can't manage to so much as wince or cry out.
My limbs are seized- paralysed.
Air lodges in my throat for a second before rupturing into a burning pain. My lungs are pumping so fast that they hammer against my ribs. A lightheaded feeling starts to consume me.
The man looks at me confusingly and jabs a finger from his free hand to jab at my chest. "I know you from somewhere, don't I?"
The hairs on the back of my neck stand. I try to take my arm from his- but he refuses to release me.
I observed in his unclean appearance- the unbrushed greying hair, ghostly skin, light green eyes, and torn black clothing. I have never seen this man before in my life- I'm confident I haven't.
I shake my head as my brain painfully forces me to use words. "N-no. I don't-" the words stop. Even my brain has stopped functioning when fear wedges it's talons into me.
I push away his hand, I try to step back, but I can't get free. Every fibre within me is shaking fiercely. The last time something like this happened, it ended with me stuck on the floor of a teenagers party feeling crushed.
The shady man's eyes narrow and he shakes his head with thought. "I'm sure I know you."
I need to get my breathing under control. This has happened before- the first time I saw Noah when he was released from prison, and I fainted. "You- we- I don't know you."
The walls begin moving- spinning- twirling. I taste blood in my mouth from biting my tongue so hard.
His eyes widen with realisation. "I know it!" He shouts, shaking my arm in the process. "You're the girl in the photo!"
The girl in the photo.
I know nothing of what he is speaking about. His twisted smile, which is missing teeth, forces my head spin even more. Relief floods me when he releases my arm.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I have to g-" I attempt to step around him, but he blocks my actions.
My fingers curl tightly around the material of Hunter's hoodie- seeking the comfort. I tell myself that everything will be fine, that this shady man has confused me with someone else, and Hunter will be waiting for me at home so we can go to dinner with his mom.
"Olivia's daughter." He says.
Olivia Martin Brown- my mother's name. Absolute dread fills me.
"You must have me confused with someone else, sorry." I manage to build confidence to say these words, since judging by the letter she left me, this man can't be good.
Whatever photo he is talking about, it would be younger than fourteen- so I'm surprised he recognises me. Although, I do unfortunately look like my mother.
I manage to step around him, feeling my taste at freedom. The moment was short lived. He grabs my forearm again, spinning me around and gripping the other forearm.
A wince breaks free from me. I'm trapped in his tight grip- forced to feel his burning glare on my face. Fingers dig into my skin enough to leave a bruise.
"They sent those stupid letters, didn't they?" My eyes have brimmed with tears, and silently fall down my cheeks. "I had to leave that state so the police couldn't find me cause they know I was the one who gave her the stuff. You know if you got the letters."
My stomach churns, head hammers, and chest feels as if it's been lit on fire. Momentarily, I fear that my heart is failing again.
The shady man who has me trapped- is the man who had supplied the drugs that ended my mother's life. He'd just admitted it to me. This must be the man she ran away with, or a friend.
"I d-don't know what you're t-talking about. Let me g-go." My voice cracks with desperation and I attempt to yank myself free. Now his nails are biting my flesh.
The shady man grits what's left his teeth. "Don't act fucking stupid. You know what I'm talking about." He spits the words like venom. "What did she tell you? Did you tell the police?"
The ability to speak vanishes from me, mowing this situation has shifted. The pain within me is turning agonising- unbearable.
I faintly hear giggling from the opposite end of the hall, but it rings through my head and fades. Because I can't get enough air, the dizziness and clouded vision begins to appear. Reality wants to slip away.
The giggling abruptly stops. I recognise the sound the belong to Becky- they must've come looking for me. I should feel relived, but panic continues to swallow me.
"Lolita!" Jake's yell shoots down the hall.
The world slows and fades.
I hardly make sense of what is occurring, though I know Becky is near me and asking me questions. Jake is chasing after the shady man.
She reaches a hand out to me while her lips continue moving though I don't hear her voice. The clouds consume me and drag me under. My head hits something cold and hard, then, nothing.
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