••On my fingertips, they rest.
Feathery whispers now,
Of freedom.
Not far away now...
Soon to be mine••
In only panties and bra, I recounted the story of how I'd stabbed myself and our maid during my first ever seizure attack.
"It was only a month after I...after the rape and it was my birthday. Nobody was home and nobody even remembered and I was just so sad. I was still in pain and nobody was there to listen. I didn't like the maid we had then because she was mean and never wanted to listen to anything I had to say. So I was in my room, crying. My parents hadn't even bothered to leave a happy birthday message and they were on a business trip. I was sad at first, then I got mad and started throwing things around and breaking everything in sight. I wasn't just angry, I was livid and I didn't know what came over me. It scared me and I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I went to the sitting room and broke the tables, the TV--everything. And then I entered the kitchen and I was unstoppable." I stopped and took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around my body as I stared at the bathroom floor. Ada placed a hand on my shoulder, her touch warm on my bare skin as she lent me a small smile of support.
"Then that's when our maid came in and tried to stop me. I didn't even know how the knife got in my hands, but she was screaming at me to stop one minute, and the next she was on the floor in a pool of blood. I got scared, so scared that my entire body was shaking as I watched blood drain out of her and then I got mad again. This time it was ten times worse and if I could, I would have ripped the cabinets off the walls. Then in a blinding flash of light, I felt pain sear through me, my stomach feeling like a hot pot of burning coal. I had stabbed myself." My hand went to my stomach instinctively, grazing over the scar and it felt like the pain was still present.
"You poor, poor thing," Faith said, her eyes misty as tears pooled in them and I tried to smile, but it was more like a grimace.
"Can you cry with contact lenses on?" I suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had blanketed us after Faith's words and both of my friends gave me incredulous looks, not believing my words.
"Are you for real?" Ada exclaimed, her eyes still misty and ladened with pity.
"Yes na. I don't want her to go blind na!" I gestured towards Faith's misty eyes, still pursuing my goal of lifting the sad atmosphere my story had generated.
"You're crazy," Faith shook her head, a small smile playing on the corner of her lips and I grinned, putting more effect into my antics.
"I know, that's why you loooove me!" I sang and both of them burst into laughter. It wasn't like their regular laugh though, it was a bit subdued but I was glad they were laughing at least.
Faith's phone lit up with a ping sound, indicating an incoming message and she rushed to get it, managing not to trip in her black four-inched heels. She smiled as she unlocked the phone, dainty fingers quickly typing a reply.
Ada and I shared a suspicious look and we turned to her, ready for questioning.
"Before you ask, its David and he's just my dinner date." Faith quickly replied as she turned off her phone, fixing us with an innocent smile.
"Are you sure he's just a dinner date? And who is David between?" I asked, a brow raised with a smile playing on my lips.
"Yes! And he's one of the soccer players. You don't know him because he's a commercial student," she rolled her eyes and just as I was about to press on, my own phone lit up with a ding and the three of us shared a look before bursting into laughter.
I unlocked my phone still laughing and the message printed in bold words on the screen caused my laughter to cease.
I'm waiting outside, be fast. I don't want to be caught by that your evil hostel mistress!
And I burst into laughter again, after which Ada handed me my gown and then helped me into it.
Shiny black sequins glimmered on every part of the dress and I had to suck in my stomach for it to zip. I looked down at myself, watching a slit run from the bottom of the dress, straight up to stop just above my thigh and my eyes widened.
"This slit is too much!" I exclaimed, staring at my friends with wide eyes.
"Whoa!" Faith exclaimed, her mouth a huge round zero as her big eyes looked me up and down, only intensifying my worry.
"Its sexy." Ada simply stated as if my cause for alarm was stupid. "Turn around now, my dear." She clasped her hands together, smiling like a proud mother and I sucked in a deep breath, watching Faith grin widely as I prepared myself for the worst.
Slowly, I turned around with my eyes closed. I was scared, so scared that I could feel my heart beating loud in my ears. I was standing in front of the mirror now, my eyes still closed and after a deep breath and few seconds of holding my eyes closed, I opened them.
My breath was lost--vanished, extinguished, dead, eradicated--as I stared at the figure in the mirror. Her face was unfamiliar, yet familiar at the same time. Her oval shaped face gleamed under the bathroom lights, dark circles no where to be found, cheek bones standing so high and arched beautifully, accentuating downwards to the curve of lush lips coated in dark red. Her eyes--God!--her deep set eyes were dark and intense, surrounded by black eye-shadow and wings of eyeliner that could rupture a heart. And then I let her eyes travel away from her face, moving down to take in a slim body, slender curves bulging out the sides of the tight black dress that hugged her body like a second skin. One arm was sleeved, and the other showcased a smooth, slender caramel coloured arm. And then I moved to the lower part of the dress; her long, slender legs looked so smooth and shiny as it peeped through the magnificent slit I had thought was outrageous.
The lady in the mirror was ravishing. But I wasn't, I mean...how could that be me? Its just impossible. I--
"Earth to Mayowa!" Ada's fingers snapping in my face brought me out of my head and I turned to her, a confused and shocked look surely marring my face.
"Is that me?" I asked stupidly, pointing an index finger at the lady in the mirror. She pointed back, answering my question and I blinked...once, twice, thrice, but she remained. She wasn't an illusion.
"See question! Abeg let's go jare, we're already thirty minutes late!" Ada hissed and Faith laughed, shaking her head at me as I blinked again and then bent down to slip on the black heels Faith had lent me. Apparently, she loved shoes and we seemed to have the same leg sizes so I was able to fit into one of her numerous ones.
"Ah! You know you're already tall before, somebody will now be looking like a dwarf beside you," Faith complained as I tied the straps around my ankles and then straightened up. Yes, I was naturally at 5'6 and the shoes made me almost 6'0. I just laughed at her pout, teasing her about her height.
Ada rolled her eyes at us and picked her purse, then I picked my phone and we all proceeded to leave. Both of them rushed to the door, complaining about being late and missing all the fun but I was freaking out as we walked out of the room and I closed the door behind me. The dorm hallways were silent as we walked through, heading outside the hostel, to then proceed towards the hall.
What will Wilson think?
My phone vibrated with another incoming message, increasing my nervousness as I hurried to catch up with Faith and Ada's hurried steps and unlock my phone at the same time.
We got outside the hostel building, the evening breeze cold against my left arm that was bare and the wind blew my hair into my face. I brought my phone up to read the message, brushing the hair out of my face at the same time and then a loud thump like plastic hitting the ground came through the breeze and we halted in our steps, looking for the cause of the sudden disturbance.
My eyes grazed over the surroundings in suspicious search and then landed on a figure resting on the wall just outside the hostel and my breath got lost for the second time that night.
Wilson was leaning there, a black shirt covering his lean body with a few buttons left open stylishly, revealing a smooth chest with taut muscles that seemed agitated in that stance. A dark ironed blazer hung off his left shoulder and tight dark jeans covered his lean legs. His dark hair looked damp and tousled, gleaming under the lights with a finesse to them that words couldn't even start to describe and my hands itched to run through them. Then his eyes...his brown eyes were so dark, holding an unspeakable emotion as they stared at me the same way I was staring at him.
I gulped.
"We're sorry o! How long have you been waiting there?" Ada apologized, breaking the crackles of electricity in the atmosphere and I cleared my throat, quickly averting my eyes as I stood up straight in my heels and looked elsewhere.
From my peripheral vision, I saw him straighten up and kick a cup that lay at his feet away. Dark liquid that looked like coffee spilled from it and I realized that was the thump sound we'd heard.
But, how did his coffee fall?
"Long enough to be bored out of my mind," he answered Ada and I saw him smile as he greeted her and Faith, then they both moved to the front as Faith received a call, leaving Wilson and I behind. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to apologize for hanging up on him, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to tell him how good he looked, I wanted to...
He slipped his hand into mine, the warmth filling my cold one immediately, and then he pulled me a little and wordlessly, we began walking towards the hall.