(A/N) Ayyy. I'm back on my bullshit but just for one chapter 🤪
***
"What are you looking at?" Dinah Jane, approached her best friend. They were on their way to the cafeteria to have lunch but Camila trailed behind her group of friends, and had stopped in front of the music room. "Well...who are you looking at," she smirked at her best friend. "That's Lauren Jauregui. Rumour has it that she's....well there's no rumours. I just wanted to talk but I realised I was going nowhere."
Camila laughed and moved away from the door. "She's pretty talented. I've never really seen her around. Do you know her?"
"Yeah, I do." Dinah linked arms with her friend as they walked away. Camila turned around and stared at the room, contemplating what would've happened if she went in and spoke to Lauren but she was sort of pretty nervous to do that. "We've been friends since we were kids. Our families go way back too. Why? Do you want me to introduce you? Because I can if you want."
Camila shook her head 'no'. "That's fine. I was just wondering..." She trailed off and took a seat at the usual table with her friends. A few moments into the group's daily banter, Lauren entered the cafeteria, and Camila's eyes instantly found the girl. There was some of instant attraction towards Lauren, and Camila could only affiliate it with her being into music, as to why she was so entranced with the girl in that short span of time.
She took a seat next to her own group of friends, and Camila realised that she had in fact known the girls and guys Lauren hung out with, but she wondered why she didn't notice Lauren in the first place.
Maybe she did, but she never really paid attention to her.
"I swear, if you want me to introduce the both of you, I will." Dinah whispered into her friend's ear as she caught Camila staring yet again.
"I can introduce myself, Dinah. I just don't want to." Camila rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink. "But...is she nice? Like people friendly?"
Dinah laughed loudly, which earned some looks from their other friends but they didn't question it, as they knew Camila and Dinah were a lot closer to each other than the rest of the group.
"Everyone is people friendly, if they like someone. But she's always been nice to me. Her sister...she's a strange one," Dinah informed Camila about Lauren. "Her family is crazy rich, but she's like...I don't know," she shrugged. "I think you just have to interact with her and form your own opinion of her."
Camila nodded mindlessly, her eyes never leaving Lauren. Not once.
That was until, Lauren looked up and caught Camila's gaze. Typically, Camila would've looked away but she didn't. She sent Lauren a shy smile, and turned her attention back to her group of friends.
They didn't interact with each other, until that faithful day in Spanish class.
"Miss Jauregui...Miss Cabello. The two of you will be working on the impact of the Latino culture on America," Lauren didn't hear any word after her teacher had said Camila's name.
They were going to be partners.
"What sort of sick joke is this?!" Lauren asked herself. She was too lost in her own world to notice the brunette, who had captured her eyes many weeks ago, standing in front of her.
Camila cleared her throat. "Hey, Lauren." She smiled at her.
"She knows my name," the green eyed girl said audibly instead of in her head as she thought.
The cheerleader laughed. "Of course I do, silly. We've had classes together since the beginning of the school year. It'll be kind of weird if I didn't know your name right?" She took a seat next to her and pulled out her notebook. It wasn't technically the truth because Camila hadn't actually noticed her, but when she first noticed her, Camila realised that Lauren was practically everywhere. "So um...how are you at Spanish?"
Lauren was sitting there in disbelief. The girl who she had been crushing on was talking to her. Breathing the same air as her. And here she was making a fool out of herself and not responding to her question.
Way to go, Lauren.
Have you ever had a huge crush on someone and whenever they're around you or speaking to you, you become a nervous wreck?
Well yes, that's how Lauren was.
"Lauren?"
The girl blinked. "Oh right. I um..I'm Venezuelan actually. Well, I mean, I technically wasn't born there but you know, my grandparents were. So I'm pretty good at it, because my parents ensured that I spoke the language. I think you're Cuban right?"
Camila shook her head 'no'. "I'm Argentinian actually. I was born and I grew up there. Then I moved to America when I was 5. Legally that is. Don't go reporting me, I'm not about to be thrown over the border."
When Camila giggled and Lauren heard that heavenly sound, she felt her heart practically leap out of her chest.
"You have a cute laugh," Lauren blushed when she realised what she had said, but it's not like it wasn't true. Why couldn't she control her own thoughts?
The cheerleader smiled shyly. "Thank you. I hate my laugh actually. It's pretty annoying. But before you say anything else," Camila laughed softly. "Let's try to figure out what we're doing on this project first, okay?"
***
The duo had spent a lot of time together working on this project together. Lauren assumed that after the project was over, Camila wasn't going to talk to her after that, but she was wrong. They had formed a friendship, and to say that Lauren's crush on Camila had only gotten stronger would be an understatement of the century.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Camila asked Lauren. She wasn't a shy person, but under the girl's gaze, she couldn't help it.
Trust me when I say that when everything is right, the things and people who you love will love you back without conviction.
Trust me when I say that the things you want will be yours at the right time.
I promise you that when these things happen, you will understand that all the things you ached for in the past that did not work out, all of the hearts that failed to appreciate the home that you made for them inside of your yourself, they were not the things that broke you, ruined you or made you less worthy.
But rather, you will see that they were the things that built you instead.
They led you towards the person that you were born to be.
They guided you towards the person that you were meant to be with.
They shaped you.
They guided you.
They grew you.
"Looking at you like what?" Lauren smiled and looked down at her half eaten plate of food.
"You know what I'm talking about, Lauren Jauregui," Camila teased. "But if it's of any consolation, I look at you like that too but when you're not watching."
"You mean," Lauren took a sip of her drink and locked eyes with the girl before her. "When you think I'm not looking."
It had been months of the two going back and forth and trying to deny their feelings for one another. Besides Dinah's constant teasing, along with Maggie and their other friends, Camila knew that Lauren was shy and was afraid of rejection; a rejection that was never going to come from her. So she believed that was why Lauren didn't ask her out, so she decided to take the reins and stop denying something that was obviously there.
"Lauren..." Camila blushed. "I have something to tell you...and I know you might not believe me but everything I'm about to say is true."
"Wait, I want to say something first," Lauren said hurriedly and pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket pocket. "I wrote it down before I forgot." Camila giggled that cute laugh that always got Lauren's heart to quicken its beat. "I like you, and if that's not extremely obvious, I want you to hear it from me. I know you're way out of my league, and that you can have anyone that you want, but instead you're here on a date with me, and I couldn't be happier."
She reached across the table and took Camila's hand in hers.
"You probably deserve someone better, way better but I promise you, no one wants to wake up to your face more than I do. I promise you that no will treat you better than I do, better than I will."
Camila opened and shut her mouth continuously. She wanted to say something, anything but her words failed her. "If you keep looking at me like that, I might be compelled to believe you."
Lauren breathed a sigh of relief when Camila had finally said something.
"You should, it's the truth, and I would never lie to you."
"I like you too, Lauren. More than I've liked anyone. I haven't truly liked anyone to begin with, but the way I feel whenever I'm around you, or whenever you look at me, that tells me something."
I used to think that nothing gets better, and some of us are only destined for pain. But I was wrong, things do get better, and that's all I hold on to now.
The tiniest glimmer of hope.
The fact that there's always light at the ending of the tunnel, and no matter what anyone says, time is the biggest healer. One minute you're trying to recover from a breakup that you didn't think you were ever going to get over, then five months, a year later, you're out with friends and you're actually happy. You no longer feel that damned pain across your chest.
The thought of them doesn't cause you to want to crumple to the floor in agony.
They no longer matter like they used to.
All they are now is someone that you once loved.
Believe me.
And if things don't get better, just know that you would've gained the strength to overcome something similar in the future, if you were ever faced with it again.
That's still a step in the right direction.
Even though, sometimes I may feel as though I'm still stuck in that endless cycle of hurt, pain, and constantly losing people, I try to hold on to that glimmer of hope.
But I need to realise that I'm different, and that I grew in countless ways, and I gained the strength that I didn't know I needed.
"Before I met you, I was just this empty shell of a girl," Lauren admitted. "I was happy to an extent, I guess. I have friends and I have a...family." She didn't want to get too involved into her family drama, because she didn't want to scare Camila off as yet. "But what I didn't know and who I needed, was you."
I managed to gain hope when there was none.
I realised that I was the only person that could protect myself. And most of all, I managed to do the one thing that a lot of us find incredibly hard to do.
I learnt to love myself in ways that I never thought possible and that is what saved me.
"You don't need me," Camila corrected Lauren. "You're simply perfect on your own. Utter perfection and I barely even know the whole you. But you want me, and I want you too. I have wanted you for such a long time, Lauren Jauregui." Camila saw the huge smile spread across Lauren's face, and the way her heart reacted to seeing that, she knew that she wanted to see it more often than just today. "I want you, Lauren and I just hope that I will be more than enough for you."
"You're way more than I ever anticipated having, Camila Cabello. You're more than enough."
***
"Lauren," Maggie wrapped her arms around her sister. "Thank you for the best birthday party ever."
Maggie was Lauren's younger and rather annoying sibling, but they loved each other dearly. I mean, siblings, huh? What are you going to do?
She had just turned twelve and as usual, their parents were busy and not around. So, Lauren with the help of her girlfriend; they had finally made it official, and Camila earned the 'girlfriend' title, and some of the maids and the butler, they threw a birthday party for young Maggie.
"And thank you, Camzii," she wrapped her arms around Camila as well. She had occasionally met Camila but this was the first time they had spent so long together, and it was safe to say, the two had already formed a bond. "I really like the both of you together. You're going to get married one day. I'm calling it."
At the mention of that, Camila blushed and looked away from the younger Jauregui.
"Alright, Mags. You're scaring her off," Lauren laughed and playfully shoved her sister. Even though she was still a teen and they hadn't even been together for that long. Lauren couldn't imagine her life without, Camila.
Sometimes you just meet someone and it clicks and you just know that this is your person, and you can't see yourself living this life without them.
I mean, I personally don't know how that feels but I bet its nice.
Maggie ended up leaving the couple alone to hang out with her friends.
"So, where are your parents?" Camila asked as they took a seat on a bench. "Are they always this busy?"
Lauren shrugged. "I mean, I guess. Sometimes they're home, so that counts right?"
"But it's your sister's birthday," Camila said as though Lauren wasn't away of that tiny detail. "My mom doesn't miss mine even if she has to work, she takes some time off, and we spend it together."
Lauren shrugged mindlessly and looked on at her sister. "I guess we're just not like your family. And Maggie seems happy, so I can't complain."
Camila decided to drop the topic as she sensed that her girlfriend didn't want to talk about it. She slipped her hand into Lauren's and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Just know that you're not alone, and if or whenever you want to talk, your super amazing girlfriend, who's utterly in love with you, will always be here for you."
Camila's dorkiness earned a laugh from Lauren.
"You're something else, Cabello."
Camila playfully bumped shoulders with her girlfriend, and kissed her cheek softly. "I am, but it doesn't mean that you don't love me."
"You're absolutely right. I do love you, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Words can't even begin to explain how much I adore you and how happy I am to have you."
Camila leaned in closer to whisper into Lauren's ear, just for her to hear. "Words can't but you can always show me just how much I mean to you, later." Her hot breath tickled Lauren's skin. Though, Camila didn't suggest anything per say, the ideas that were roaming through Lauren's head already would make it extremely hard for her to control herself.
Camila laughed and walked away from her girlfriend, knowing the sort of reaction, only she had on her.
Lauren shook her head, allowing herself to snap out of her thoughts. She watched as Camila walked away, a smile finding it's way on her lips.
"I am so utterly in love with you, Camila Cabello."
***
"Mom," Camila nervously ran her hand through her hair. This was the first time she was introducing her mother to someone. And it wasn't just someone she liked but it was her actual girlfriend. "I'd like for you to meet Lauren Jauregui...my...girlfriend."
She hesitated on the word 'girlfriend' because she wasn't sure how her mother would take it. It wasn't to say that Sinu, was against her dating, it's just that the topic had never came up.
Lauren was extremely nervous about meeting Camila's mother. This was her first time actually meeting a parent of any form besides her friends' parents and that doesn't really count because you don't introduce your friends to your parents. They sort of just start talking to one another and all of a sudden they're part of the family.
Lauren stuck her hand out to greet Sinu, but instead she pulled her daughter's girlfriend into her arms. "Its nice to meet you, Lauren." They exchanged smiles upon release from the embrace. "Camila can't stop talking about you. It's always, 'Lauren this, Lauren that'. Or 'Lauren did this for me. Lauren looked really cute today'. It's cute really." Sinu laughed when she noticed her daughter's tinted cheeks.
"Mamiiii," Camila groaned. "Stop embarrassing me."
Lauren laughed, as she finally felt at ease. She knew that Sinu was extremely nice and she had nothing to worry about, but the thing was, she just wanted Sinu to like her. She didn't want anything to come between her and Camila.
"Make yourself at home," Sinu gestured for Lauren to take a seat at their dinner table. "I'm making some puchero and empanadas."
The conversation flowed freely amongst the three of them. Sinu knew that she was going to like Lauren, because anyone that made her daughter happy was someone worth her approval.
As Camila headed upstairs to grab a jacket, Lauren was helping Sinu with the dishes. The woman turned and smiled at the teenager.
"Welcome to the family, Lauren."
***
I feel everything.
From the bath water being a tad bit too cold, or the pain in the old woman's eyes who pass me by on the street; as she wonders how ever did she become so lonely.
I can't help but feel these things. I think these small and intricate feelings are both a blessing but yet a curse.
These thoughts are so sharp that they cut the deepest and are one of the most significant pains that someone may ever endure.
But its comforting in a way, to know that I'm not the only person who feels what I am feeling.
I feel hidden at times, and I guess when us, hidden souls fall in love, it becomes our greatest downfall.
Because, there's no such thing as 'falling out of love'.
We feel it too much. So much so, to the point that if you just look at us, you can see the love pouring out of our eyes and dripping from our lips.
That's our problem. We feel too much and we feel everything. So when our lovers leave, it is no less than death.
***
"What do you mean, 'what do I mean'?" Lauren groaned loudly. "I want to ask Camila to marry me."
Maggie sighed and flopped onto her bed "You're not even finished with college. Would you die if you don't ask her now?"
"Yes."
Lauren said pointedly.
It was a question that she was dying to ask Camila, and she knew that she could wait a bit longer, but the truth was, she didn't want to.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Maggie propped herself up on her elbow and stared at her sister. "I mean, you know I ship this with every fibre of my being. And I love Camila like my own sister, but I just want to make sure this is what you want."
Lauren sighed and took a seat next to her younger sister on the bed. "She's the only person I see in my future, Mags. I love her. I'm in love with her. At first, I was so scared of falling for her, of being with her, but everything between us is just so natural. She makes me so happy, and I know I do the same." Maggie couldn't help the smile that found it's way on her lips.
"You're in so deep," Maggie laughed and flopped back onto the bed. "I can only hope I find a kind of love that the two of you have."
Sometimes you're not confused about the other person, but rather, you're just scared. You're scared that even if you let your walls down, they might not trust you enough to do the same.
You're scared that maybe you will let them in, and show them all your flaws, fears, insecurities, dreams, weaknesses and the darkness within you, but they won't do the same.
You're scared that after you show them this side of you, that they might not like what they see.
Perhaps, they will look at you, after you've taken off every single layer of yourself, as you're standing in front of them naked, that they will no longer see you as the beautiful person they once thought you were.
You're scared that you might finally begin to love someone, or love someone again, you might begin to let your heart feel things that it hasn't felt in so long, and just when you begin to trust them, they end up hurting you, ruining you just as you had anticipated.
Sometimes you're simply not confused about whether they're the one, but rather if they're the one. If they're everything that you've been yearning for, but they don't feel the same way about you.
You're just scared that you might jump into the void called 'love' and that they won't find their way to you.
Sometimes, you're not confused, you're just scared.
Lauren laid on the bed next to her sister, smiling up at the ceiling. "You will, Mags. I know there's someone out there for you and I can't wait to meet her and tease you relentlessly about her."
Maggie scoffed but deep down, a part of her truly yearned for the kind of love that Camila and Lauren had. "Maybe. Maybe our love story might be better than yours."
"This is only just the beginning of us."
***
"Do you, Lauren Michelle Jauregui, take, Karla Camila Cabello, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?" Selena Gomez, an old friend of Camila had gotten ordained for this auspicious occasion, recited the vows to Lauren.
She looked at her bride, and there were tears streaming down both of their cheeks, well tears of joy hopefully because they weren't forced into this marriage.
Or were they?
"I do."
Selena then turned towards her friend, "And do you, Karla Camila Cabello, take, Lauren Michelle Jauregui, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Camila wiped at her eyes and tried to bite back her sobs.
"I do..." but before Selena could open her mouth to speak, Camila said something. "Or do I....?" She smirked causing the crowd to go 'ooh'. This eliciting a laugh from both Lauren and Selena. "I'm only messing with you, cariño. Of course I do. I'll be crazy not to."
Selena shook her head smiling, "If anyone has any reasons as to why these two shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony....I don't really care to be honest." She gestured towards Camila and Lauren. "Now kiss."
The couple laughed but they did as they were told, trying to keep it PG in front of their families and friends.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"Ladies and gents, I now present to you, Mrs and Mrs Jauregui - Cabello."
Camila pulled Lauren in for yet another quick kiss, as they pulled away, she couldn't help but pull her back in. "I am so fucking happy, you don't even know."
"We have a lifetime of happiness ahead of us, baby. I promise you that."
***
Did y'all miss me?
No? That's fine, I didn't miss yall either 💀😂
Hope y'alls enjoyed this bonus chapter. I was bored and I dont know where the idea came from. 😂
Lastly, stop asking me if I have Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, I'm not on any of those dumb apps. I dont even got a phone smh 🙄