We stood in silent awe at the towering structure before us. The air around us began to tremble as a train roared by, the scream's of its passengers soon followed as they dipped downward. I'm sure to them it seemed like they were descending into the very gates of hell. I took another sip of Addie's ICEE, my loud slurping breaking the silence.
"Giant Dipper?" Addie inquired, reading the roller coaster's name board.
"Yup. It's the oldest coaster in the state, and one of the oldest in the country." I informed him before taking another long sip. "We'd get on this almost every time we were up here visiting family."
A second train rolled by and the structure shook slightly as it rattled on by.
"Looks... unsafe."
"Yeah probably, but no one's died yet so..." My voice trailed off with a shrug.
A visible cringe formed on his face, but he followed me to the line anyway. After some time spent dunking each other into the ocean, we decided to hit the boardwalk for the rest of the day. I leaned in a little bit; he still smelled like salt water. Well no shit he did, but I kinda liked it and soon found myself leaning against him.
Addie looked down at me, "Did you finish my..."
"Slurpee?" I finished, not bothering to look at him, "And yes." I peeked up to meet his annoyed gaze. "What? We can get a refill."
He rolled his eyes as we moved up the line. After a few pauses, we found ourselves at the front with an aqua-painted train waited for us to board. I hadn't rode the Dipper since I was a teen, and it showed. The seats weren't built for long-legged people and it definitely showed as Addie and I were forced to squish ourselves into the tiny car. The metal bar dug into my thighs a bit as the operator brought it down. I peered down into the dark tunnel before us, just able to see the dip. I couldn't remember how far the first drop was, but my heart rate had already escalated a bit.
The train suddenly jolted forward, sending us on our way. I glanced at Addie who was just as stoic as ever, his silver gaze stuck on the track before us. I couldn't tell if he was trying to save face or legitimately wasn't unnerved. My thoughts quickly took a backseat once we reached the peak of the ride. Secretly, I always get nervous at the top, the calm before the storm.
And before we knew it, we dropped.
And it was painful.
I get that it's an old wooden coaster and it's not going to have all the comforts of a modern coaster, but holy shit did every sharp turn and dip send my body into a world of pain and aches. It was like I could feel every bump in the track, and the fact that it was old only intensified the feeling. As we rumbled up and down the boardwalk, I could faintly hear the shouting of someone complaining about their leg.
As we returned to the platform, I looked back at my date. He was still stoic as ever, but the white knuckles which gripped the handlebar so tightly that his hands were noticeably shaking said otherwise. The Dipper made us its bitch that day.
"You OK, Addie?" I asked as we clambered out.
"I... I'm fine." He muttered, stretching. "That thing should not be in service. It's rickety as hell."
"Interesting choice of words for an architect." I smirked at him, "You were afraid, weren't you?"
"Absolutely not."
Looking back at him deadpan, I held up his hand to reveal his still near-translucent knuckles. A grumble of annoyance emitted from him, but no verbal confession.
We spent a few more hours in Santa Cruz before the soreness from the Giant Dipper had finally taken its toll on us, which was right on schedule for the Suntan's return journey back to San Francisco. I think I slept through the train ride, because before I knew it, we were suddenly pulling into 3rd and Townsend. I peered out the window, it was already dark and the train was much quieter than the afternoon one. With the day now over, I wonder if there will be another. My conversation with Addie on the beach hadn't left my consciousness, and I still feel horrible about it. I wonder if he meant what he said, or was he just trying to save face. Would I hear from him after this? A voice in the back of my head says no.
"I enjoyed our date today, Erika." He informed me once we're back on the platform. I can't tell if he's serious.
"So did I, for the most part." I pressed my lips together, awkwardness taking ahold of me. "Adrian, I - -"
I was not allowed to finish my statement as he pulled me in for a soft kiss. "Drive safely, Erika." He murmured against my lips. "I'll message you when I'm back at the hotel, but don't respond if you're driving."
I opened my mouth to finish my previous statement, but his kiss wiped it from my mind. All I could was settle in his arms. It was probably the safest I've felt in the longest time, even longer since a man made me feel oh-so secure. I could just... doze off...
"Erika?" His voice was but a distant whisper as I literally started nodding off.
"Hmm..."
Addie frowned and held me upright by my shoulders, "Did you drive here?"
I could barely keep my eyes open, "No, no I took the train over." I let out a long yawn.
He looked back at me worriedly, "Are you sure you're OK to go back on your own?"
"Yeah, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" The silence between us gave away the answer, but I offered him a reassuring kiss. "I'll text you when I get home, OK?"
"I would feel better if I went with you."
"I'll be fine, Addie." I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm a tough girl."
I felt bad for turning him down, his concern was adorable, but I needed some time away. I needed to think more on our relationship... whatever kind it was. However, I mostly slept the train ride home and lied in bed, wide awake for the rest of the night.
I texted him as promised, but left it at that. Even if it's only a vacation fling, it still bothered me to go ahead with it. But at the same time, I hadn't been so happy in a long time, so relaxed when held. It was clear he was into me. I rolled over, it was times like these I wish Elena were around. She'd know what to say, she always did, to me anyway. It's been so long since I've heard her voice, seen her face. I wonder what happened.
The alarm clock reads "12:15 AM". Mom's probably asleep and I'd be damned if I dare call Misty at such an hour. I suppose she would listen if it were urgent, but I don't want to disrupt her and Rey. The thought of calling Edith filters through my mind and I can't help but laugh out loud. Like hell I'd call her. She'd shit me out about how late it was and hang up. I don't know why she hates me, never got an answer, but she clearly does.
What time is it in England?
No, I'm not calling Wolfgang, it would only make things worse. Besides, he's probably busy with Ella or something.
As if on cue, Daylight rose up from the darkness and trotted across the bed towards me, smacking me in the face with her head. I swear this cat has a sixth sense, but don't all animals? "What should I do, Fatty-Cat?" I asked her, stroking her orange fur.
The round tabby simply purred loudly and settled down beside me, her ears swiveling every which way in response to something only she could hear.
"I mean," I continued, "I like Addie, but it just seems too soon. I know it's my fault for that. I just feel like I'm using him."
Daylight meowed in reply.
"I told him that today, he looked so disappointed, but he wants to keep seeing me. Should I?"
I get another meow and a few trills.
I rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling. Somehow, talking out loud about my feelings made me feel a little better, but only slightly. Things started out nicely with Grant as well, but it soon fell apart... and I kept going back for more. I know not all men are like him, but I don't know if Adrian is and I'm terrified to find out. Closing my eyes, all the memories come flooding back, the alcohol fueled arguments, the tears, the breakups, the physical and mental scars... I swore to myself I'd never put up with that shit and yet I did for 2 years.
He'd be so sweet, and the moment a beer touched his lips, it all changed. Then he'd tried to control me in public with little snide remarks. It pissed me off, but I never called him out on it for the sake of our public image.
One of the bigger brawls flashed before me. It was after one of our breakups. I came to get my things, and he was drunk in the bedroom, but he wouldn't let me leave. We started arguing, and then he punched me in the stomach... and I cracked his jaw.
Daylight's sad mewls force my eyes open and that's when I noticed the tears rolling down the sides of my face. I sat up and dried my eyes; it was going to be one those sleepless nights. Daylight curled up in my lap, doing what she could to comfort me.
"Never again, Daylight." I announced shakily as I stroked her head. "Never again."
Come morning I was restless, too many flashbacks and nightmares had taken up space in my mind. At least I didn't have to work. After getting the cat her grub, I found a text from Addie wishing me a good morning. A small smile formed on my lips, and I felt a little better. Sometimes, that's all you need to improve your day. Part of me wanted to see him again, but I was far too exhausted to make the trek. I don't want him to see me like this, he doesn't need to know.