Third person pov
You taught me me the courage of stars before you left,
"No." Aizawa whispered. It seemed horrifyingly loud in his own ears, ricocheting off the smoldering rubble around him and echoing through the barren landscape before him. His hands shook, clammy and sweaty. Despite this, he was indescribably cold. Shivers ran up and down his body, banging on his spine and at his legs. They threatened to knock him down, and force him to his knees. His adam's apple bobbed as he stumbled forward, gulping. His mouth was dry. When did it get so dry?
Smoke permeated his lungs, but he didn't falter. It stung at his already dry eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to blink. His entire world slowed so greatly he was sure it nearly came to a complete stop. As though reality too stuttered in hesitance at the sight set out before it. Aizawa certainly did, hoping, wishing the scene laid out in front of him would shudder out of reality.
How light carries on endlessly,
Blood. There shouldn't be that much blood. There couldn't be that much blood. It wasn't possible. For a human body to lose that much blood- It just wasn't possible. It couldn't be. He refused to believe it as he stumbled forward. He couldn't remember the last time his heart had beat this hard. It felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest. A part of him wondered if that would really be so bad. For it to rip away from him. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so bad.
He wanted to scream. The sound caught in his throat, and he wondered if this was all some sort of cruel joke. Bile edged at the back of his throat, mingling with disbelief and the sobs he had yet to choke out. He felt like he was being strangled as he moved forward, moving as though each step he took hurt him physically. It felt like there was something weighing him down. A warning, perhaps. The universe telling him not to go.
Even after death,
"Lillian?" Aizawa's voice hadn't cracked for years, but he couldn't help it as he scooted forward. The rough ground scuffed at his knees as he lowered himself, but he ignored it, hesitantly reaching a hand forward. Dull blue eyes stared back at him, their usual spark of light missing. He hadn't realized just how bright it was until it was gone. Now they pointed a single direction, nothing in them, no signs that she was okay.
Such a look didn't belong on a child. It didn't belong on his daughter. Lillian was too good for that. She had to be. Everything had been okay, just earlier. She'd been laughing and smiling just like she did. He'd seen her flush with embarrassment and sputter with amusement. He'd seen her, and... and she'd been just fine. He never would have assumed. He never would have thought.
He should have. Where was he? Why wasn't he there?
Why was he never there?
With shortness of breath,
"Lillian?" Aizawa's voice rose slightly, his hand shakily cupping her cheek. It was absolutely frigid. Too cold. Way, way too cold. Too cold. Way too cold. There was too much blood, and her body was too cold. No human body could survive at this temperature without some sort of quirk helping them. But Lillian's quirk wasn't like that, and he knew that. That was the problem. She was cold. She was cold, and she wasn't supposed to be. "Lillian, you need to wake up... you need to... there's... you have to-"
She didn't move. She didn't wake up like he asked, and the light didn't return to her eyes. For a moment, Shota could only sit there on his knees, devastated and in shock as he gazed at her. This was his little girl. Someone had done this to his daughter, and then left her here. Where was everyone? Why was she alone? How... How had this happened? He was so sure she'd be fine. He hadn't worried at all. It was just supposed to be a normal day, and she was supposed to be fine. Why wasn't she fine?!
You explained the infinite,
His hand rumbled with tremors as it went down to her neck, checking for a pulse. Blood was caked all down her front, having poured down from her mouth in the way it did when she froze something that was too much for her to handle for too long. Her body was without movement. Not even the slightest twitch from a girl who was usually so lively. He held his breath, his own pulse pounding so loudly in his ears as he felt for hers. For any sign that this wasn't what it looked like. That it was just a mistake! A mistake that was cold, and bloody, and lacking in the most important thing of all; life.
How rare and beautiful it is,
Nothing. Empty. She was cold, and there was nothing.
To even exist.
The sound of dragging footsteps caught his attention, but he didn't move. He couldn't. He kept his hand on her neck. Waiting. Watching. Wanting for this to all be wrong. His cheeks were wet, but he didn't care. He didn't even turn as someone shuffled towards him. He just stared, waiting for some semblance of warmth. For his daughter. His dear, dear daughter. But there was just too much blood. It was just too cold. It was too cold, and there was too much blood, and she was empty.
The invisible binds wrapped around him tightened as he held his hand there and waited. Urging her heart to give just a single beat. Just one to let him know it wasn't too late. That the blood she lost wasn't too much, and that her temperature didn't mean anything. That she wasn't too cold, and that it wasn't too late. He hoped and prayed to any god he thought might listen. This was his little girl. And she... she was lifeless. Why was she lifeless? She'd... She'd been okay. She'd been fine. She hadn't been cold. She hadn't been bloody.
I couldn't help but ask,
"What... the fuck?" Bakugo breathed out, staring in a stricken manner. His teacher didn't move. Not even a flinch. He just kept his hand on Lillian's misshapen neck, cheeks sticky with tears and sweat. He felt his pulse shoot up as he took in the sheer amount of blood around them, and his heart dropped down into the pit of his stomach. Something within him churned. Something dark, and foreboding. He couldn't pry his eyes from hers. Her eyes... they were open and... and...
For you to say it all again,
"H-Hey... She's alright, right?" Bakugo's voice shook with a traitorous tremor that said more than his words ever could. Aizawa jolted back as though he were struck, eyes wide and breath escaping in a wet hiss. Bakugo's ears filled with white noise as the man drew back a trembling hand, a sob snaking its way up his throat and choking him. The blonde watched in mute horror as his usually-composed teacher drew in on himself. As he broke apart.
This shouldn't have been possible. He'd texted Lillian not even an hour ago, and she'd been perfectly normal. Nervous, but not the worst. And he'd assured her that it would all be alright. That they could meet up after this was all over, and after the villains had been arrested, and they could go get ramen. And she could bring her dumbass friends and her weirdo snake, even though he wasn't a fan. Lillian had laughed, and quipped back. She'd... She'd quipped back, and she'd been... she'd been okay.
I tried to write it down,
Her hair was splayed around her, framing her pale face. Dark locks stained with blood draped over her colorless cheek, and blood dribbled freshly from her mouth, draining out of her. Bakugo didn't register his knees hitting the hard and uneven ground as the world around him crumbled away. Static was soon the only thing he could hear as he frantically reached forward. He hoped Aizawa was wrong. He had to be wrong.
Everything about Lillian seemed bright. Her smile, her eyes, her freckles, her mannerisms. Even on her darkest days, there was a spark of something there that Bakugo had a habit of searching for. It conveyed even through text, a happy little jolt that made him smile on even his worst days. It was almost always there, appearing in just about everything she did without fail. And yet sitting here, he couldn't seem to find it. It had been so bold and present just this morning. Almost alive, even! And now it was just... gone.
But I could never find a pen,
"Hey... H-Hey Freckles." Bakugo whispered, carefully reaching out to caress her cheek. It was cold. So cold he almost flinched away and withdrew his hand. "This... This isn't... it isn't funny. It's not... you can't just... you're not supposed to..."
I'd give anything to hear,
"No, no, no, no." Aizawa whispered, haphazardly running a hand through his hair as it began to sink deeper and deeper in. This wasn't possible. But why was Lillian so cold? Why was there so much blood? There... no, no, he needed to get the paramedics. Someone. Anyone. Recovery Girl could fix this. She had to fix this. There wasn't a choice. She had to, she had to, she had to. Lillian was too cold, and she had to.
Lillian was his everything. He'd survived without her most of his life, but the moment he realized just what she was to him, there was no going back. She was his daughter. His pride and his joy. The reason he got up in the morning, and the reason he smiled. The culprit behind his joy. Lillian Aizawa was everything he never knew he needed, and he wasn't sure what he'd do if that disappeared. He didn't want it to go. He didn't want to outlive her. He didn't want this.
You say it one more time,
Bakugo wasn't someone who was easily liked. He was brash and vulgar, and had a personality often times described as being akin to sewage. People didn't often times see who he really was. Deep down, he wasn't as much of an asshole as he appeared to be. He wasn't villainous or angry. He was... Bakugo Katsuki, and Lillian saw that. She saw that. Could she see that now? Could she see anything at all?
"My... My daughter." Aizawa whispered in horrified mortification. "Lillian... she..."
That the universe was made,
"She's gone?" It came out as a question as Bakugo carefully cradled her, handling her with the utmost care. Her neck was bent at an unnatural angle that left no question about her status, and her skin was so cold there wasn't a way she could possible still be alive. The sheer amount of blood pooled around them tinged the air with the scent of iron, but neither gagged. They were in too much shock. Aizawa had no idea what to do. This was his baby girl. His little girl. And he wasn't there.
Why wasn't he ever there?!
Just to be seen by my eyes.
Something splashed down onto Lillian's face, and it was then that Bakugo realized he was crying. Another sort of sound reached his ears. Distantly, he recognized it as retching. Aizawa was sobbing, unable to look any longer as sickness invaded his churning stomach. His daughter was gone. She was right there, but she was gone. Why was she gone? How was she gone? She'd been so alive... so alive just this morning! Just this morning, she'd been fine.
Lillian was a caring person. She tried to do her best and not to disappoint. She was her own person, and people loved her. Lillian loved them back in suit, and that's just how things were. But how would she ever love them back if she was gone? Aizawa would never see her smile. Bakugo would never get an unsolicited picture of her snake in a tiny hat at four in the morning. Aizawa wouldn't wake up to her knocking on his door after having a nightmare. Bakugo wouldn't subtly bump fists with her in the hall. They were such small things. So, so many small things.
And they were all gone.
I couldn't help but ask,
"O-Okay." Bakugo breathed out, vision blurring as he lowered his forehead to hers. His hiccups were the only sound amongst the destruction as Aizawa stumbled back, unable to stand any longer. Katsuki inhaled as though it pained him, clenching his eyes shut. "O-Okay, Freckles."
For you to say it all again,
"Lillian!" Hitoshi called, standing atop the chunk of building and squinting. A faint smog had settled over the battlefield, leaving it harder to see and breathe. Next to him stood Neito, who was humming to himself thoughtfully as he looked about. Chad was somewhere around here as well, no doubt searching for survivors with Vlad. The creature was a bloodhound when he wanted to be. If it was a he. Honestly, there was no way to tell.
The League of Villains weren't expected to act so soon. Teaming up with the Yakuza, they'd come while both first year hero-course classes were out on a field trip. Count on 1-A to bring some trouble. 1-B got wrapped up in before anyone knew what was happening, and soon they found themselves fighting for their lives against impossible destructive forces. It hadn't taken heroes long to arrive, but even then the students were forced to use their quirks to help evade. In the chaos, Hitoshi and Neito had found themselves separated from their freckled friend.
I tried to write it down,
Hitoshi squinted harder when he saw a figure appear in the fog. He nudged Neito, who's eyes flitted forward. The blonde leaned forward slightly, body coming to a shuttering halt as the figure stumbled closer. They weren't alone, a slouched figure following after them almost absentmindedly. Hitoshi readied himself in case of a fight.
Most of the heroes had moved further to the south, trying to corral the enemy closer to the water so they'd be cornered and have less places to run to. This left the students scattered across a vast plain they were forced to pick their way across until they could all eventually run into one another or find their own ways back to the checkpoint that had no doubt been set up. Things had spiraled so far into mayhem, everyone was scrambling to gather themselves.
But I could never find a pen,
Hitoshi felt his heart stop.
"L...Lillian?" His voice came out a pathetic squeak, but he didn't much care as the one and only Bakugo Katsuki shuffled forward with the most despondent, heart-broken look on his face. Tears tore tracks down his dirtied cheeks, making his distress all the more obvious. Behind him, Aizawa stared blankly at his bloody hands, eyes distant and unseeing. Next to him, Neito leapt forward, almost lurching in his movements as he rushed towards the boy carrying the girl's apparent corpse.
Everything in Neito screamed. His scars burned hotter than they ever had before, and he resisted the urge to claw at them and scream in rage. Hitoshi gazed slack-jawed at his very first real friend. The girl who'd moved in, and gotten him into the hero course, and recited memes with him and sung duets. The one he shared his fuzzy socks with and his favorite chips. The person he went to first when anything happened. Lillian.
I'd give anything to hear,
"No." Neito breathed out, blue eyes welling with tears as he flinched back from Lillian's dead expression. His hand came up to clutch the spot where his heart was located, because even though it had long since stopped beating, he felt it squeeze. Behind him, Hitoshi choked out a sob, shaking his head and bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. Because that was Lillian. That was his friend. His best friend. She was alive just this morning. She was fine. She'd... Sh-She'd been fine!
He didn't understand. If not for the fact that Bakugo was standing before him, in tears and on the verge of breaking down completely, he never would have bought it. If not for Aizawa, staring down at his shaking hands with his eyes blown wide, he never would have bought it. Lillian had been through so much, but she always seemed to come out okay. She was strong, and felt unbeatable. This was a sickening reminder that no one was invincible. That Lillian... that even someone... his best friend-
You say it one more time,
"She's gone." Bakugo murmured, face scrunching up at the mere thought. He looked down at her, his heart stuttering in his chest. Neito turned away, putting his hands on his knees as he attempted to support himself. Behind him, Hitoshi turned around and slammed his hand against the piece of rubble he'd previously been perched atop with an enraged shriek that he couldn't stop from tearing out of himself. Because that was Lillian in Bakugo's arms, and necks didn't bend like that. They couldn't.
Lillian was amazing. Hitoshi loved her, and Neito loved her. And she loved them back. Shoto loved her, and Mr. Mic, and Mr. Aizawa, and Hound Dog, and Ochako, and Izuku, and Mihoko, and Hajime, and Rei, and even Tsukauchi! Their classmates adored her, the public did too! Lillian was a good person. She was likable and nice, and gone. How was she gone?! She'd been okay before! She was Lillian! Lillian!
That the universe was made,
It didn't take long for others to find them. At first, Bakugo had refused to let go of the body. Letting them take her would make it all the more real. He just wanted to hold her, even if she was cold. He'd never felt her so cold before. She was always so warm, and kind, but now it was... all gone. It was all gone, and he didn't understand. He knew being a hero was dangerous, but Lillian was good. She was good, and people loved her, and she was... she was just gone.
She felt incredibly small in his arms. He held her firm but carefully, unable to look away. His memories of her face were already becoming fuzzier the longer he stared at the slack expression on her face. It replaced everything he knew, becoming the new reality he was forced to live in. A part of him shattered completely. His heart snapped in two, and his mind screamed out in rage. He was angry. Angry and the world, and angry at himself.
Just to be seen by my eyes,
They had to restrain Katsuki in the end, and Mic's pained, frustrated screaming when he found out was so loud people were forced to plug their ears as he banged his fists bloody against a wall that was miraculously still standing. Shoto collapsed completely, and Chad could only sit and hold his head in his hands as he broke down, not making a sound and not responding to anything anyone said. Aizawa had to be led off, unresponsive and in a state of shock. Because that was his daughter, and he wasn't there. And now... now she was gone. There was too much blood, and she was cold, and she was gone.
With shortness of breath,
The funeral brought hundreds. It was only a few days after finding her that they held it. Looking at her in her casket, Bakugo couldn't help but think she looked like she was sleeping. Like he could just reach out and nudge her awake, and tell her all the things he never got to. Like how much he loved her, and how he didn't think her puns were stupid, and how the muffins she baked weren't as bad as he claimed them to be. And he wished he could hold her, and see her smile. He wished he could take her place, because Lillian was bright. Not cold. Not like this.
Her not-parents came too. They cried and sobbed and wailed over someone who was never truly there's, but nobody cared. They cried right along with them. They'd all lost Lillian, and it hurt. It was a spear through the heart for many, and worse for some. Her closest friends and those who could very well be considered family had it the worst, mourning her grievously as the dark reality set in.
I'll explain the infinite,
Aizawa was cold. It was as though he couldn't feel anything anymore. He had no tears left to shed, and all he could do was stare and wonder why he was still here. Because he'd failed to keep Lillian alive, so why should he still be here? That was his daughter. That was his daughter, and she was gone now. It was his fault. Why wasn't he ever there?! He was her father-- he was supposed to be there.
He just wanted her back, and so did Hizashi. The blonde voice hero was resilient. He was coherent, and could hold a conversation, but he looked dead on his feet. It was as though when Lillian's life seeped away, his had too. Aizawa was no better, staring at her coffin with a look that expressed more pain than anyone should ever have to hold. This was a failure he could not-- would not-- come back from.
How rare and beautiful it truly is,
Hitoshi and Neito locked hands, barely withholding their sobs as Lillian was lowered into her grave. God, that didn't make sense. Her grave? She'd been alive. She'd been alive, so what was this? This shouldn't have been possible. This shouldn't have been real. It had never seemed possible, but here they were. Here they were, and there she was, and she was cold. Colder than Neito ever was.
She was gone... and none of them were there. She died alone, in a pile of blood, and cold. Because none of them were there. Aizawa hated himself, and Bakugo was full of excruciating, painful regret. Hizashi didn't know how to keep going, and Hitoshi felt like he was in a terrifying free fall with no safe landing in sight. Neito's heart hurt, hurt, hurt, and Shoto didn't know how to stop crying.
Lillian was dead. And nobody, not one of them, had any idea what to do.
That we exist.