“Break a vase, and the love that resembles the fragments is stronger than that love, which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.” – Derek Walcott.
•••
“Yeah? Okay, got it…how bad is the damage? Shit! And everyone is there already? Who is the major casualty? News reporters are arriving? Just kill me already…I’d be there in a couple of minutes.” Tari chucked his phone into the small cubicle of space below his dashboard, like a hand grenade he feared would detonate soon—before he turned to face her. “You know you really don’t have to follow me, Lani. It must have been a technical problem that has nothing to do with you. It won’t be good for your agency, if your face is smeared all over the news.”
The guilt that had been weighing heavily on her since Ose had broken the news—choked her deep in her throat and she found herself coughing vehemently. It was beyond endearing that Tari thought her presence was misplaced and irrelevant to the subject matter, especially when she knew that she was the cause of the chain of terror that had been ignited. But she hadn’t come around to face the unnerving and beguiling feeling squarely. It was one thing, letting it form at the back of her mind and coming to grips with it fully. Not to talk of saying out loud.
Oh God, what have I done?
The air conditioning venting system of the car was fully functional and was at its highest modulation, yet there were beads of sweat trickling down her forehead and spewing out of her hair follicles, making her skin surface look like that of a windscreen of a car in severe rainfall. The sweat was soaking up her gown gradually, invading its seams and garment like hordes of ants rallying around an anthill. She swabbed away at the sweat marring her forehead gently, in the hopes that Tari wouldn’t notice her perplexed state and go on to enquire why it was so.
“I just don’t know what could have gone wrong, do you have any idea?” His eyes were concentrated solely on the road, and his voice sounded firm but she could sense its slight unsteadiness. “This has never happened to me before on any project I helmed. It’s not like this type of thing happens to anyone at all in the first place. Oh, God I hope it’d be stated clearly by forensics—that the problem has nothing to do with me and everyone else from Sky, that worked on the house. It would go sideways, real quick.”
She knew he was putting on an act that was symbolic with the masculine gender, to appear stable and tough even when destroyed within. She knew that like her heart, his was also going through an uneven expansion fueled by fear, paranoia tendencies and the gravity of the tragedy at hand. She hadn’t even fully assimilated the consequences yet, and she was already disintegrating into a soulless, lifeless vessel of flesh.
Nothing helped to soothe the pain. When she tried to think about damage control, she’d risk drowning in a wave of tears at the thought that there was irreparable damage and when she tried to take her mind off it—it just didn’t work. It wasn’t a warzone in her head to conquer her fear. Fear had annihilated her defenses and had colonized her already.
“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” Tari’s fists pounced the steering, with a ferocity that she thought could puncture its surface. For a split second, she was afraid he was going to lose control of the car and they were likely going to end up colliding with an incoming car, or ramming into a tree, or some other immobile structure made out of material that was indomitable, which would result in their death. And for another moment, she nursed the thought—realizing that it was the only escape route from their plague.
“How did this happen, how did this happen!” At this point, Tari wasn’t talking out loud and was only mumbling indiscreetly to himself. Despite his composed comport, his voice was hollow and weary and she knew it was only a matter of time before his fear got the better of him and possessed him totally. “This isn’t good, this isn’t good at all.”
His head snapped to her and their gazes met briefly, before he blinked and focused on the road again. He looked almost surprised that she was in the car, which was further confirmation that he had gotten lost in his own bubble of terror and had started to lose details of his surroundings. She wondered if he even remembered the location of the Tijanis anymore. It wasn’t a daft way of thinking, because fear had no respect for any man. No matter age, status or position. It simply came to visit and stay.
“This is going to be bad, Lani.” He was talking to her now, in a slightly louder volume. “Really bad. John, the mechanical engineer was the one I was speaking with over the phone. He said he couldn’t recognize the house anymore and that there is just one casualty. I’m hoping that it’s one of the laborers and not Dayo or his wife because…” He trailed off.
“I know I’m a bad person, right? The laborers are humans just like Dayo and his fiancée, but do you know what will happen if its Dayo or Tiolu? Do you know the sort of hell that’d descend on the people that built a house that harmed one of the most celebrated people on the continent? If you don’t know, let me give you a hint. They’re life would be very miserable to the point that they’d consider suicide.” He trailed off once again and his hands raked through his hair aggressively before dropping back to the steering. “I am so done for.”
Asides from the wrenching pain tearing her apart on the grounds of guilt, it was greatly disheartening to watch Tari tear himself apart for something she was absolutely sure he had nothing to do with. He was right, though. If forensics failed to pinpoint the exact stimulant of the fire then blame would fall on him, because someone had to take the fall for something as heinously perceived by the public and no one would spare whoever was tagged the villain. The press, the public, not even God who would deem such punishment appropriate for the sin.
She couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t watch him take full responsibility for the blame—because she knew it wouldn’t end well for him.
But what about her?
“I need to tell you something, Tari.” Her voice was merely a hiss, but she knew he heard her quite clearly because of the creasing of his brows. He didn’t divert his attention from driving again much to her relief. “You remember when we met on Monday and you were around with Ose?”
“Yeah?” He nodded.
“And, well I came around and told you that I was inspecting things in the kitchen.”
“Okay?” His voice lowered.
“I’m the one, it’s all my fault.” The brimming tears in her eyes got the better of her and spilled down, like violent waves of water crashing down into a waterfall. “I—I told you that my memory is no good, I told you that I knew I forgot something and I felt it was really bad. God, how can I have been so careless?”
Tari didn’t speak immediately, even if he did—she wouldn’t hear him because her high pitched sobbing, punctuated with hiccups and hitched breathing, cancelled out virtually all noise around her. As the tears supply began to wane and reduce, she felt the heat of his gaze on her.
“Lani, you need to calm down okay? First of all, I need you to know that crying won’t solve anything. I’m not trying to be an insensitive jerk by saying that you’re being a big baby. It’s humane to cry when we’re afraid and terrified, but the crying shouldn’t stop us from thinking and taking necessary actions that would help tackle the problem at hand. Okay?”
She sniffled, cradling her reddened face with her palms and nodded gently.
“Good, when we get to the site there won’t be a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. So I’m trying to do the best of my own thinking now with what’s happened and what I know. I need you to tell me the full details of how you caused the fire?”
She flinched.
“You have to trust me, Lani. You have no choice than to trust me.” She had fallen so deep in her bottomless pit of fright, that she didn’t know that the car had skidded to a halt by the pavement. “Look at me,” His fingers grasped her chin and he turned her face to his. “I’m on your side, okay? I’m the only one on your side and I don’t want any harm to come to you. I swear and I promise.
“Your team members that you think are family would do their best to save face. Even if you don’t trust me, you should because technically I’m the one in bigger trouble as the architect and I might just be on the verge of losing everything that I’ve worked for since the past three years. Eight in fact, if I count the number of years I spent in school studying this course. So you can see that we’re all alone in this and have no one but each other?”
Since it was night, and the sky was murky—she couldn’t make out the exact expression on his face, except the contours and shape. She wanted to look him in the eye and read the assumed honesty embedded in them, but she couldn’t. And the dim light that radiated off the dashboard didn’t do much in helping things, since it casted rays of red light on his face—making him look like a hornless devil.
“Okay,” She felt like she was making a mistake that she had made before but she pressed on with zeal, besides it had been one of her many faults. Having the tendency to trust people, no matter their track record of betrayal. “I was checking out the kitchen equipment, gas cooker and all and I don’t think I switched off the gas. So it must have dispersed around the entire house since we locked up on Monday. And then well it had come across something inflammable as a result of the visitor and made the entire house go ablaze instantly. Oh, God it can’t be Dayo Tijani or Tiolu could it! No it can’t be them…” Her tears interrupted her once again and she launched into another wave of tears, and this time it took Tari’s intervention to get her to calm down.
He draped an arm through her shoulder and pressed her head to his chest, and she melted into more tears.
“Cry and cry it all out at once and get it over with.” His voice reverberated in her head, like the yelp of an estranged slave in a prison. “So that we can think and deliberate on how best to solve this—”
She cut him off, shaking her head and pulling her head out of his grip. “You don’t have to act like you’re an accomplice or you knew anything that went on. Let me deal with it myself. We don’t need to maximize casualties. You said it yourself that it could ruin your career, who am I kidding. It will ruin your career. Just stay out of it.”
Her words contradicted what she really craved for. She told him to stay out of it, but her distressed self wanted him to support her, to be her pillar and stronghold of strength. To be the cushion that she knew she’d crash on, when she plummeted down to the ground after the downfall of the catastrophe. But even that was too much to ask.
“We’re a team, Lani. Let that register in your head.” He leaned in and she thought he was going to kiss her and she closed her eyes, until she felt a hard surface graze her forehead. For some reason this gesture of sworn loyalty connoted by the meeting of foreheads didn’t soothe her pain. Did people who were in love with each other demonstrate affection and show assurance by touching foreheads together?
No, they didn’t.
And it was then she knew without doubt in her heart that she was in love with Tari Ibiyemi. There was no other viable reason as to why she knew she was incomplete and detached, shredded in fragments with the conviction that it was only Tari that could piece her together and make her whole again. That could save her from this grave she had dug for herself. But the trillion feeling question posed itself.
Did he love her too?
Because if he didn’t, even Jesus Christ wasn’t capable of saving her. The car swerved back into motion and jerked into high speed. Their chatter ceased and a comfortable silence descended with calm, that she knew she wasn’t going to experience afterwards until a very long period of time, or for the rest of her life if things went totally haywire.
Her thoughts went back to her life before the Tijanis project, before Tari. It had been pleasant enough and while she may not have been abundantly fulfilled, she had been contented with where she was and was positive things would continue on a path of positivity. Then her thoughts returned back to the present and the overwhelming, daunting feeling of the imminent danger at hand. Even now, she wouldn’t say she would go back in time and rectify taking the job opportunity and avoid Tari again, because even if she was figuratively walking through the deepest depths of hell at the moment, she felt alive and had love in her life. It was better than being stranded on a harmless desert with adequate supplies of food. Such situation was safe, but was shallow.
She’d choose this hell anytime, any day.
When the car grinded to a halt again, she thought he only pulled over to recite another speech of encouragement, but then she looked around and saw the familiar, gigantic brown metal railed gates with steel panels—slashed across its center giving it an ominous image of an angry idol, frowning at them. They had indeed arrived, but before she could disembark she felt Tari’s hand on hers again.
“If the reporters ask you, what your identity is don’t tell them you were the interior décor specialist. Just say you’re a family member coming in to check on what’s going on.”
She couldn’t help but marvel at the danger assessment he had done despite his aggravated state while all she had done was worry, worry and worry more. It solidified her love for him, and heightened her hope that perhaps—her love was reciprocated and wasn’t unrequited.
“Okay,” She nodded, gently.
“Yeah, and don’t you tell anyone what you told me a couple of minutes ago. No matter what happens, you keep your mouth shut.”
“Tari, you know I can’t—”
“Promise me, that you’d keep your mouth shut no matter what happens.” His tone was dead serious and she had no choice than to nod. “Good, now let’s get down. Stick to my side, and don’t say anything to the reporters, unless you’re really cornered and have no choice. And when you do, whatever you say, you’re not one of the people that worked on the house.”
They stepped into the vicinity, with him in the lead and her hand firmly clasped in his. As anticipated, there were tons of reporters, journalists with their crew and various headlights that beamed from the lit vehicles that were scattered about. They formed a barricade in the center aisle and it was impossible not to go through them. She heard Tari inhale sharply before they advanced forward. When the press charged at them, she kept her mouth clamped shut and her head low. She couldn’t make out most of the questions due to the fast way they were chanted, with voices overlapping one another, but they were some that slipped through her defense and stuck in.
“Are you also workers on this mansion?”
“Is the cause of the fire really by gas being dispersed, if so a worker should be responsible…”
“Are Dayo and Tiolu really stuck inside the house amidst the escalating fire…”
She knew it wasn’t possible for blood to turn hot in times of fear. It was usually the contrary, but she could have sworn a streak of hot larva drizzled down her spine. Dayo and Tiolu, stuck in the fire? Her head started to reel but Tari’s grip on her hand was instrumental in getting her through the torment. They finally arrived at a police line, flanked by planks of wood drilled into the ground. A cop on patrol approached them and Tari exchanged a few words with him, before they were granted passage.
It was then that she lifted her eyes to see it.
First she saw the smoke. The acrid, pungent, enormous smoke that covered the house like a blanket, billowing up into the skies from virtually every side of the house. The once glorious, aesthetic, artistic building had been reduced to a debilitated, exiguous structure that looked like a haunted house—with large chunks of concrete, blown away by violent gusts of wind or eaten by vultures that devoured slabs of buildings for food. Uneven boulders that looked weak and deficient, were the lone supports and the only thing preventing the rest of the building from crashing down like a sandcastle.
She couldn’t take it anymore, and she tore her gaze away from the building. It was one thing knowing she was responsible for a building getting engorged in flames, it was another seeing said building—after hearing the news of people trapped inside.
She hoped for all their sakes, that a bleak fate wouldn’t befall them.
Tari had left her side it seemed, and was still conversing with a trio of policemen but his eyes kept on darting to her side to ensure she was okay. She was greatly touched by his display of affection and concern but she couldn’t help but wonder when it’d expire. The worst hadn’t come yet. No one was demanding for answers, looking for whom to heap the blame on. When the time of reckoning came, would he still stand by her side or he’d realize the gravity of the situation and save face?
She wouldn’t blame him if he did the latter, but that would mean he didn’t love her like she did – him. And to be candid, she didn’t want no harm to befall him and at the same time she wanted his strength and support. She had never been so confused in her entire life.
“They said the firemen are going to quench the fire very soon.” She was so immersed in her guilt that she hadn’t noticed the group of men, making the rounds—with large extinguishing hoses in front of the building and inside also it would seem. Once again, she averted her gaze elsewhere. She just couldn’t stare at it for long.
“Hey, are you okay?” He caught on to her unease, and this time she could see the worry clear in his eyes. Her vision became blurry, as tears began to well up in her lids again. It was just too much to process. She had caused a tragedy of this magnitude, all because of her forgetfulness tendencies and she was supposed to keep shut about it and not step up to atone for her sins? Even its atonement wouldn’t be enough. An atonement for a lifetime and the same for her reincarnates wasn’t enough. Eternal damnation wasn’t enough to compensate for this.
Nothing could compensate for this.
“Okay, you’re crying really hard again and while that is understandable—you really have to stop because people are around are watching. The press might not know your identity, but these policemen here do. They only let us through because I told them our true identities. If you start to cry like this, they’d suspect something is really wrong. Begin to suspect you like you had a hand in this. And remember what we said, about not telling anyone about what we discussed earlier?”
“How am I not supposed to tell anyone!” She shrieked—her voice dampened by a muffled squeak. If her throat wasn’t stiff, the police men nearby would have heard her words clearly. “How am I supposed to just shut up and watch this continue to happen? I mean, sure I can’t do anything about it but Tari I have to atone for my sins. I caused this! This is as a result of my own doing!”
”You didn’t do this, Lani.” Tari snapped. “Nature did this. Nature did this when it refused to favor you with a good memory—”
“Is Nature somewhere around here? Because if he is, I’d like it if he stepped up to assume the blame and take away the guilt in my heart.”
“You’re one of the kindest people in the world, Lani.” Tari said. “Right from the start, you decided to be friends with me not because you were attracted to me. No, because you were nice and you’d have given that treatment to anyone in my position provided that they weren’t hitting on you. It was only along the lines that you went on to develop feelings—”
“What’s your point?” She tried wiping the tears off, but for some reason it made her more conflicted. It felt like justifiable punishment, letting the tears run astray but Tari wasn’t having it. His knuckles were gently brushing them away, causing a tingling sensation on her face.
“My point is that you of all people shouldn’t get to atone for your own sins. You’re too kindhearted for that…”
What?
“…Despite what happened a decade back, you were willing to give me a chance to prove myself. First as a friend, then as a romantic partner. You were willing to take a chance on me again, despite what I did before.”
“Tari, what are you driving at?” Her body tensed up. She didn’t like the direction his words were heading. It was the sort of thing people who were about to make inordinate, extreme sacrificial decisions said. No, it couldn’t be that. It was simply illogical. She wanted him to be her propeller not her engine.
He exhaled. “Don’t worry about it, just promise me that you’re not going to say a word.”
“Don’t do anything stupid, Tari.” She found herself saying. “This is my problem, I’d deal with it.”
“Like I said, just keep shut and don’t say anything.” His authoritative tone infuriated her, but before she could pick a bone with him—their conversation was breached by an intruder. It was Ose, who looked less compact than he did at the ball. He had done away with his blazer apparently, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.
“Hey, you’re here.” Tari directed his focus to his friend, instantly and Lani knew it was a deliberate action to escape her query. “So how’s it going down at sky?”
“Our damage control team is doing its best,” Ose sighed, looking a lot stronger than Tari. “I rushed to drop Modupe home after everything and rushed down here while on a call placed to Adeola. They’re the ones who sent the forensics team in by the way…” A forensic team was on sight also? Her inability to keep a steady gaze on the building had made her miss a lot of things. “And well, they’re just praying hopefully that the cause wouldn’t have anything to do with the building but then it’s a new building. What other cause could it have? I just don’t understand how this could have happened, Tari.”
“It’s a real tragedy,” Tari sighed.
“No, I get it that fire can break out in a house, but this?” Ose broke off as if to organize his words. “This is another level. This looks almost like the fire that broke out on black Thursday on the Otedola bridge. This is just too big for a house fire and I was told that the house got swallowed in flames after just a minute! I mean a minute! You can’t tell me there isn’t something special to this. My prayer is that, you won’t be blamed for this and then in turn, Sky won’t get blamed for this. But let me tell you, something of this magnitude? Someone is going to get blamed for this. Trust me. The game we’re playing now, is to make sure that person isn’t one of us.”
If Tari’s words had been functional in soothing her worries, Ose’s words had simply neutralized the overall effect. She had allowed herself to believe that there was a way she could come out of the present situation, unscathed but now that a person who was hardly concerned about her wellbeing had spoken, she knew it was the truth that she had been struggling to accept. There was simply no easy way out.
“Oh my God, is that Dayo Tijani!” Ose’s words were her cue to return her gaze back to the decaying building, and indeed, stepping out of an opening blocked by a dismembered boulder with metal hinges protruding from its edges was Dayo Tijani, in a black overcoat courtesy of the firefighters it would seem but it wasn’t his impaired, bruised appearance that had her entranced. It was the immobile figure, he was glued to—that was sprawled on a stretcher being wheeled out by the firemen. Oh God, it couldn’t be…
Of course, it was Tiolu.
Tari and Ose exchanged distraught looks—the former bowing his head in defeat, the latter raking his hands through his hair. This was it. This was the toll point. The casualty in question was none other than the fiancée of her idol, which house she had raged to the ground in fire. But she didn’t want to face the possibility yet that Tiolu could be dead. No, she had to be unconscious. She couldn’t be dead.
She isn’t dead, Lani. She isn’t dead.
The tears gushed out uncontrollably, and for the first time she did nothing to inhibit it. She didn’t care that Ose was giving her a curious look and that Tari was making a silent plea that she stopped crying. But she just couldn’t. How could she? If Tiolu Keye turned out to be dead then she wasn’t just someone who caused an accident. She was a murderer.
A murderer.
Her eyes followed the entourage of Dayo and the firemen as they headed past them, to the squadron of ambulance vehicles blaring with loud, pulsating sirens. She felt Tari’s warm hand reach out for hers, but she whacked it away. She didn’t deserve his support. She didn’t deserve his concern. And most of all, she didn’t deserve his love.
She deserved whatever gloomy end, fate threw in her direction.
Hordes of the news reporters and journalists quickly flocked to Dayo’s side, as close as the police line let them and no doubt questioned him with their damned stream of questions. She didn’t understand how they couldn’t be sensitive to his pain and leave him the hell alone. It made sense to question other people, but the victim of the tragedy itself? It didn’t make sense.
Her heart stopped, when Dayo’s head snapped up in their direction and zoned in on hers. Before she knew it, he was striding hurriedly in their direction with a gait that shook the ground. The time had finally come. This was it. Judgment and reckoning time, and like a sinner in a post anti Christ era she wished she’d be raptured into the skies, take off and fly away so she wouldn’t have to answer for her crimes. But if that day was coming, it was definitely not today.
Like she realized earlier. Even God wasn’t going to save her from this one.
“Mr. Ibiyemi,” Somehow Dayo still managed formalities despite his bedraggled state. His handsome face hadn’t incurred much in the way of injuries and she couldn’t see any scald or bruise on his body either, but then he was wearing an oversize coat that swallowed his entire body frame. His body hadn’t caught flames yet in fury, so she guessed Tiolu wasn’t dead.
Yet.
“Mr. Tijani, I’m so sorry sir.” Tari stepped in her front, as if to shield her from Dayo even though he was mostly restive and wasn’t simmering to the peak with anger.
“If you’re not the cause of this, don’t tell me sorry. Just point me in the right direction of the culprit.” Dayo said tersely, in a voice that was so cold that it almost vanquished the acerbic scent of the smoke coming from the building. “Forensics came in and they said before the fire went off, there was gas in almost every room in the house. Truth is, I didn’t need forensics to tell me that. I knew that myself, because Tiolu and I had smelt it the moment we stepped on the front damn porch!”
Damn.
“I mean, what the hell? Who was in the house last and refused to seal off the gas cylinder for it to have caused such dispersion?” Dayo was enraged, but he was still composed and calm. “Common sense tells me that the gas didn’t just start spreading today. It would have been a small leak, and for it to spread everywhere it means that it took a really, really long time. So, I just need you to tell me which laborer was in the house last?”
Before Tari could reply, Lani interrupted him. She didn’t know what exactly she was doing but she felt guilty, remaining motionless and quiet like she had nothing to do with what was happening.
“Sir, you see we can’t exactly pinpoint—”
“Oh, Miss Olaere you’re here also.” His eyes snapped to her. “You know the person in question that could have been responsible for this? My fiancée is barely hanging on to life…”
Oh, thank God!
“…and I fear that they might not be fast enough to get her to the hospital. When the house fell, she didn’t get caught in a good place.” Dayo trailed off, closing his eyes momentarily before opening them again. “You know how people don’t like slowing down in Lagos traffic even when an ambulance is going through, they won’t let it through. But that’s asides the point, God is in control of that. I’m not going to lose Tiolu—”
“Amen—” Ose started to say.
“I do not need your amen, I just need a name!” Dayo bellowed, breaking character from his composed act. But when he spoke, his voice lowered again. “I’m not someone who likes throwing blames about and all that, but something of this magnitude was definitely caused by someone’s carelessness and I want—no, I need to have that person punished. If you people don’t cough up a name in a week, I’d have to take you all in and I don’t think that would be good for your careers and your respective agencies, heh?”
This time, Tari beat her to replying.
“There would be no need for that, Sir. You’re right in assuming that this was caused by a person’s carelessness. Someone was indeed careless.”
Her vision blurred with tears as Dayo nodded, imploring him to continue. This was it. Tari had finally come to his senses and was going to turn her over to the authorities. It was nothing less than she deserved of course, but it hurt that for a moment she thought he loved her and was going to move heaven and earth to save her.
That was definitely not happening, since her modified view on Tari’s person was wrong. He hadn’t changed. He was still the same self absorbed, inconsiderate, conceited person she knew him to be. He was going to save himself and leave her to take the fall, just like he had done several years back. This time, she deserved it though but the pain was a thousand times more dazing because she loved him.
“I was the one who put on the gas cooker,” Her breath ceased. “I was making the rounds of inspecting things. I must have forgotten to put it off.” Tari continued.
“That doesn’t make sense,” Dayo frowned, running his gaze through Tari’s, almost as if he wanted to make sure he hadn’t misconstrued his identity with someone else. “You’re a professional. You’ve been doing this work for how many years? Are you trying to take the fall for someone else?”
“I’m not, I’m so sorry sir but I’m responsible and I take full responsibility. I forget things a lot and I obviously forgot to put the gas off.”
There was a loud silence characterized by Ose glaring daggers at his friend and she looking utterly dumbfounded, searching for Tari’s gaze that wouldn’t meet hers. He was going to sacrifice himself after all?
“If that’s the case, then it can’t be helped.” The trudging of feet from behind became audible and in the blink of an eye, two sturdy policemen bundled Tari over and slid his hands into cuffs to whisk him away. He didn’t struggle and the policemen took him away with ease, towards their vehicles in the distance past the police line. The press descended on him, like mice on a small piece of cheese as they feasted on him with their hammering questions.
It wasn’t until the siren of the police vehicle beamed to life, and the vehicle itself began to whirl around to exit the compound—that she let the development sink deep into her subconscious.
He had sacrificed himself for her.
“He’d rot in prison, that one.” Dayo’s words dealt the final blow and she felt her spirit in the astral dimension, stagger and slump to the ground. Dayo bade them goodbye, before departing but she couldn’t care about that. Only Tari and the abyss she had sunk in. She was devastated and that was an understatement but right at that moment she vowed to do her possible best to save him, just like he had done her.
Because she loved him, just as much as he did her.
*****
“We both know what you did wrong and why you didn’t have any score for your project.”
The lecturer announced with his gaze still on his large, mahogany desk—refusing to meet their nervous, troubled ones as if they hadn’t just rushed in a couple of minutes ago. Ever since Joshua had broken the news to them, they had bolted out of the hall in the fastest speed their legs could muster and headed straight for the staff block. It had been a hard task arriving in time, since it was late in the night and transport services weren’t available to convey them, so they had ran the entire way down to the office. Her gown was drenched in her sweat, and she was pretty sure she was reeking of an unpleasant smell but there were things of greater importance at hand.
Ensuring that none of them spent an extra year in school.
“Sir, I really don’t know what we did wrong.” Tari went on the offensive, not intimated in the slightest bit by the man’s aura of apathy. “We did our best on the project and turned it in. We didn’t stray off topic or add things that weren’t relevant to the subject matter. So I’m finding it really difficult to pin point where exactly we went wrong. Perhaps, you could help us with that, sir?”
The office organization was pretty much formulaic and derivative. The walls were covered in purple floral wallpaper that didn’t complement the floors draped in red and brown striped cotton carpets. The lighting was uneven, the bulbs distributed haphazardly—of vastly varying size and design. All in all, it said a lot about the lack of taste of its owner or he’s interest in such details. She was sure this ugly monster before her, could make do with a room ridden with mice and ants.
“Are you questioning me?” It was then he looked up from the magazine he was reading, lowering the rim of his oval lens spectacles and peering at them through his nose. His beady eyes were more irritating than ever. How could one person be so unattractive in many ways? “I just told you, what you and Miss Olaere turned in here is wrong and you dare ask me how it is wrong?”
“I mean no disrespect, sir but to tackle this problem – I need to know where and how we went wrong.” Tari persisted with the sort of urgency, that could be attributed to a barren woman pleading from a supreme deity for a child. “So could you please, tell us sir? I’m sorry to bother you but this project means a lot to me and Lani, and we can’t afford to fail this. Besides, we’ve put in so much work over the past few weeks in perfecting it and—it just can’t be in vain.”
“Your friend knows where you went wrong,” He spun to face her, his mocking glare altering into a slightly amused one. He made her skin crawl and her stomach convulse just by staring at her. Of course, she knew exactly what he was driving at. Truth be told, the thought had cropped up in her head en route to his office and she had already arrived at the conclusion that it was the seed of conflict. He had confirmed it with his suggestive monotone, much to her dismay because she knew she was lost in a cliché labyrinth, a maze that many girls like her had lost their dignity and innocence in. Not her, still she was without knowledge on how to battle the problem?
What the hell was she going to do?
“I don’t think she does, sir.” Tari turned to face her with a questioning look and then turned to face the lecturer once again. “Mr. Patrick, please we’re begging you that you please tell us what we did wrong. Perhaps, we’ve offended you and—”
“You didn’t offend me, Mr. Ibiyemi—”
“Then maybe, you didn’t get anything from us? Did the others—I mean, like give you gifts?” The words sounded foreign on his tongue due to his high moral compass, it was indeed no easy task venturing on such tides. “If it’s that, we could quickly get you something. Just please, sir don’t make us have a final year in school. This project carries a lot of marks that we can’t afford to lose. Even if you’re going to fail us – give us something, a mark not zero!”
“Mr. Ibiyemi, I am losing my patience!” His fists banged into the table violently and startled her and Tari, making them flinch and back away. “I am done entertaining the both of you. Now, get out of my office. If you want to know the real, actual reason why you’re not going to pass this course then I suggest that you talk to your friend! Now out!”
Tari conceded defeat and finally threw in the towel. They walked out in silence, and broken hearts. It wasn’t until they were well out of the block and heading to nowhere in particular, on the main campus road that Tari spoke.
“Do you know what he is talking about?” His hands were tucked in his pockets, and she thought she could see droplets of water hanging in his eyes but they never dropped. He had taken off his blazer and was holding it tightly in his right hand.
“I didn’t want to tell you before because in my naïve mind, I thought he wouldn’t be able to find me but…” Lani trailed off, gritting her teeth. “Remember the time I told you that a lecturer asked me if I could have sex with him?”
Tari’s lower jaw dropped. “He is the one.”
“He is the one.” She confirmed. “That’s definitely the reason why he is not going to pass the both of us. Because I won’t have sex with him, Tari? What sort of a country are we in for Christ sake. You work your ass out to get your desired course in school, you don’t eventually end up getting it and you end up with something of a lower grade and then turns out, the lecturers aren’t even serious with their work and hardly show up to lecture rooms and to round it all up, they’d demand for sex and decide to fail you if you decline! Are we fictional characters in a story? Because it sure as hell feels like a force is messing with us. Something we can’t control.”
The speed in Tari’s strides reduced gradually. “I can’t get an extra year, Lani. You know my story. My parents aren’t the ones sponsoring my education. It’s my family. My entire family collectively is paying my fees and trust me, they do not need that burden on their shoulders. It’s hard enough to pay my school fees every year, now I’m going to get an extra year and have another cause to pay again? I can’t do this.”
She understood his plight, it was quite saddening but there was nothing she could do about it. He was making it sound like she was responsible for the blockade they had just encountered.
“I know, Tari and I’m really sorry, but what can I do? My parents also won’t welcome me with open arms at home when I break this news to them, but I’m sure they’d understand when I tell them the details, but then maybe that isn’t a good idea because they’d most likely want to take action and it never ends well. If there is anything I’ve learnt about bad people like Mr. Patrick, is that they’re not just beaten like that.”
“So we’re just going to fold our arms and not do anything because there is nothing we can do?” Tari halted to face her. “We’re just supposed to give up and not do anything about it?”
“What are we supposed to do, Tari? There is nothing we can do! You’re making it seem like I also like the sound of an extra year, but that’s what we’re faced with now and we can’t escape it. We just have to pray that we get a more responsible lecturer next year for the project but then again we won’t get paired together, anyway.”
“No, we can’t just fold our arms and not do anything—”
“So, I should lose my dignity and give him my virginity just because I don’t want Tari Ibiyemi to have an extra year?” She snapped. “Because I love you so much that I won’t consider the consequences of that? The fact that I could contact a sexually transmitted disease or worse get pregnant and as a result of that, have to drop out of school?”
He held up a hand to quiet her. “I’m not telling you to go have sex with him, Lani.”
“Well you heard him. That’s the only solution to this problem.” She replied. But there was something scheming and calculating to Tari’s face that she just couldn’t place a handle on. It was the type of look a person donned, when they were considering their options and weighing the gravity of the situation before they take an action.
“Tari, please don’t do anything rash. I’m really sorry about the hardship you have to go through, but there is no way we can come out of this without any casualties. Something of this magnitude can’t be beaten without someone being the scapegoat. Don’t make things worse beyond the point of redemption. Let’s just pray that God will bless your family.”
He simply nodded and looked away. Some other day her mind would have been laid to rest by his allegiant action but now, it seemed faceted and convoluted, with an ulterior motive attached to it. She could only hope, he wasn’t going to take any rash decision of any sort and end them in a bigger squabble than they were in.
“I have to go now,” He said after some time. “Sorry, but I don’t think I’m in the mood to return back to celebration and all that.”
“I understand,” And she did, truly. “I’m not either. I just want to sink on my bed and drown myself in sad, soul music. We’d see later, then? I’d call you later on tonight, so we will now how to meet and see if there is anything we can do to minimize this damage. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” He pulled her in for a hug, but she knew it was only borne out of propriety and not of want.
“We’re a team, Tari. Let that register in your head.” She said, over the rapid beating of his chest. “Whatever you do, I do. Whatever I do, you do. Whatever decision we make, we do so together. Okay?”
“Got it,” He replied, before releasing her and disappearing into the darkness behind her. When she was sure he was well out of sight, she slumped to the pavement of the road and broke down finally—releasing the tears she had been holding back all day. She didn’t head back to the hostel, until she had purged herself free of the tears.
God, help me.
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Tari sacrificed himself in the present, but what exactly did he do in the past, that he feels the urge to atone for? We’re very close to finding out. Stay tuned.
Share your thoughts in the comments, and tap that lonely star. See you, next week. Have a splendid weekend.