Walking through the halls in the light of day was a relatively easy experience, at least when compared to my past excursions at night. While the stress was still present, at least I was technically allowed to be outside of my common room.
I made my way to the Room of Requirement, careful to make sure no one was around as I approached the corridor. I stood in front of the wall, watching as the door swirled onto the wall as if put there by a paintbrush. With one last glance to make sure I was alone, I slid inside.
I had barely stepped into the room when I was embraced by a warm atmosphere and a pair of arms.
"Happy Christmas," Draco Malfoy murmured as I leant back into his arms, the door shutting soundly behind me. Safe. I smiled, letting my head rest on his shoulder while his arms were wrapped around my waist.
"Happy Christmas," I returned happily. Draco pulled away from me then, gray eyes illuminated by the fire on the other side of the room. I surveyed the room itself briefly. It was cozy but refined-looking, surely the taste of a boy who had grown up in a well-kept manor for sixteen years. All the furniture was dark wood, delicate carvings etched into the sides. Soft-looking gray pillows provided the cushioning. The fire crackled warmly, giving the room a warm glow and an earthy smell that seemed to be mixed with peppermint. It was Christmas, but in a refined way. It was so very-Draco like.
"I like it here," I said after a moment. "It's... Homey."
"I'll have to change it, then. I was most hoping to have you hate it, after all," he said dryly, and I let out a small scoff. Rolling my eyes, I started to move towards the couch when my legs were knocked out from under me. With a short gasp of surprise- and a laugh of amusement, I found myself bundled in the arms of my boyfriend.
"You git," I said fondly, hiding my face in the sweater he wore under his jacket- gray, I noticed. I liked how it matched his eyes. "I missed you."
He made a small scoffing sound I could feel in his chest. "You saw me earlier," he pointed out as he carried me to the couch, the warmth of the fire already heating up my skin. Well, the fire and the blush that had settled in my cheeks. I stared at him, my expression dry.
"But it wasn't you you. You didn't look like you," I clarified. Draco raised an eyebrow, looking at me with amusement.
"Are we being particular, then? Because you don't look like yourself right now, I'll have you know. Shall I throw you out and not let you in till you do?"
"That's rude," I said, smacking his arm when he grinned rougishly. "And I can't just wish the polyjuice potion off. So you'll have to wait." I smiled faintly as he set me back onto my feet, enabling me to sit down and curl up onto the gray couch. Draco shrugged, reaching over for something on the side table- a pair of mugs, I realized as he came to sit beside me, his tone smug.
"I can."
"You're lying," I said with a haughty tone, even as he handed me a drink. Hot chocolate, I noted with a faint smile. The Christmas drink of Christmas drinks. Draco looked over at me with an equally prideful expression, one he might've worn often in his younger years.
"I am not."
"You so are. It's rude to lie you know."
"I'm a Slytherin."
"Lying is not one of Slythern's traits! That is not a valid excuse," I huffed despite the fact that I was smiling now, and so was Draco, though he attempted to hide it by sipping from his mug. Eyeing him amusedly I sunk back into the cushions, holding the warm mug close to my chest and enjoying the way it heated my fingertips.
I had timed the Polyjuice potion to the last minute, and knew it would be wearing off soon enough. In the meantime though I sipped my hot chocolate- Immensely pleased to find it had been infused with peppermint for the Holiday- and closed my eyes, enjoying the peaceful silence. It didn't last long, though.
"You are not sleeping," Draco commented after a moment, and I opened my eyes to see him watching me with an amused expression, eyebrows raised. I stared back at him.
"What? Anxious that your company doesn't prove interesting enough?" I teased with a faint grin. He chuckled quietly, setting his mug down.
"Well, I was hoping to give you your gift before you made any truly time-consuming plans."
"You got me a gift?" My voice rose in surprise. "You shouldn't have. I don't have anything for you." I frowned, then: "I am a terrible person."
"I'll just keep it then," Draco said decidedly, and I just now noticed the black box he held in his fingers, just about the size of his palm.. "Perhaps I'll give it to Theo or something. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."
"I'm sure he'd be all over it," I said dryly, setting my mug down and reaching out for the box, hoping I didn't resemble a needy child too much. "Can I see it?"
"I told you I was keeping it."
"That's so mean. You're being mean."
Draco frowned lightly, raising an eyebrow as he held the box just out of my reach. "That's not very persuasive."
I rolled my eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. "I was aiming for honest, not persuasive. Can I please see it?"
He seemed to think about it for a moment. "No."
"Draco," I groaned loudly, letting my head droop in defeat before I looked over at him, my grin sly. "It is Christmas, after all. And you lied to me and told me you were dead. For months."
"You're really going to play that card?" He asked, even as he gave in and handed the black box to me. His amusement was evident, but so was the fondness in his eyes as I pulled at the silver string that held the top of the box to the bottom. Pausing at my hard work I looked up at him, nodding once.
"I'll be playing that card in the afterlife, love. Now how many knots did you tie in this? It's impossible."
"Let me see it- You could've just used a spell, you know," Draco pointed out even as he used his fingers to pull the knot apart, much quicker than I would've been able to.
"But where's the fun in that?" I asked with a faint smile before I took the top off of the box and looked inside, finding a small object surrounded by deep red tissue paper. It was simple. It was beautiful. I almost couldn't believe it- And yet the first words out of mouth were, "You know, the last time you got me jewelry, it was to kill me."
"It was a curse, and it didn't kill you." Draco said as I pulled the bracelet from the box, studying it gingerly. It was a thin silver braclet, tiny words- I think words, but the size of the letters were too small to properly tell- inscribed on it. I looked up at Draco with surprise.
"Where did you even get this? With the war, I mean, you can't possibly have had the time to go-"
"It was my grandmother's," he said, and upon seeing my surprised expression he continued: "My mother used to wear it, but since the war... Well, she's stopped wearing any type of jewelry. Last time I was at the Manor I knicked it, thought I might put it to good use," he explained, his smile faint as he watched me.
"Draco, I—," I shook my head, words lost on me. Something felt tight in my throat- I wasn't getting choked up, was I? Merlin, when I had become so emotional? I smiled at him gratefully, nodding twice before words managed to find me again. "I love it. Thank you. So much. It's beautiful, really."
"I'm pleased you like it. I thought you may think it cliche," he told mr as he reached forward, taking the bracelet from me. "Can I put it on you?" He asked quietly, glancing up at me with gray eyes that made my heart flutter. I nodded once, watching with a faint smile as he clapsed it onto my left wrist. It fit comfortably and lightly, almost like it wasn't there at all.
"I love it," I repeated, watching as he brought my hand up to his mouth, pressing the back of it to his lips. I love you, I thought fondly as he gave my hand back to me, though his fingers lingered for just a moment. I touched the bracelet gingerly, squinting in an attempt to read the writing on the bracelet. But it was too small.
"What's the writing say?" I asked, looking up at Draco curiously. He was biting his lip, his eyes ducking back and forth between my face and the bracelet. He stopped though when my eyebrows raised, and when he held out his hands I gave my wrist to him, letting him twist the braclet towards himself so he could read it.
"I had it- well- Mea Semper," he said, the words rolling off his tongue with an ease that I knew I would not have when speaking french- Or Latin? I wasn't sure. "Though, that wasn't there when it belonged to my grandmother. I put that there."
"And made it too small to read?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged.
"Couldn't have anyone else reading it," he said simply, his eyes remaining fixated on my bracelet as he smoothed it out, the metal just slightly cold against my skin.
"Or me, for that matter."
"A technicality," he said with a faint smile, lips pulling up on one side like they always did. He let my hand drop into my lap, and I didn't have the time to ask him what the bracelet actually said before his lips were on mine, hand reaching up to cup the side of my face. My breath took sharply, surprised by the sudden movement before I was kissing him back. His hands were gentle on my face, lips soft but persistant against my own. The kiss tasted like peppermint. When we separated we were both nearly breathless, his forehead resting against mine.
The next words out of his mouth ruined the loveliness of the moment. "I'm leaving Hogwarts."
"I- What?" My voice broke, emotion already welling up inside me as I stared at him. He stared back, his expression somber but serious.
"I've been ordered to leave within the week. I've got no choice in it- I would never want to leave you, you understand?" He asked it urgently, almost as if he expected me to blame him for his departure. But my shocked state was able to do little more than nod, a sick feeling stirring in my stomach. He was leaving. He was leaving.
The thought was nauseating. "Where are you go-"
"I don't know yet. But the Dark Lord wants more people around him, more on the move, more at his disposal. With the Carrows and Snape here, I'm just an extra," he said quietly, his thumb running over the back of my hand as I squeezed his hand tightly, unwilling to let go. I closed my eyes, working past panic and tears. I wouldn't let this ruin Christmas. I wouldn't.
"Last time you left-"
"I know. This is different- It'll be okay," he assured, pressing the back of my hand to his lips. "You'll see. It'll be okay, Potter."
"I can't believe you sprung this on me on Christmas," I sighed, giving my head a small shake. It was easier to beat the panic down when I spoke, when I forced my throat to move instead of closing tight with emotion. "You jerk."
"I thought it would be better in the long run," he admitted, "instead telling you last minute."
"I would've killed you had you told me last minute."
"See? It's already better," he said with a weak grin. I rolled my eyes, leaning into him when he pulled me closer, my head tucked under his chin. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of being wrapped in his arms, of being secure, of the warmth that washed over me. It was only a few breaths later though that I opened my eyes again at the feel of the polyjuice wearing off. Draco's fingers lightly stroked over the skin where my sweater had ridden up, his other hand propping his head up as he watched the fire. The flames were reflected in his eyes.
I frowned lightly then, and gently tugged on the sleeve of his sweater.
"Draco."
"Hm?" He hummed lightly, raising an eyebrow as his eyes dropped from the fire to me.
"I want you to promise me something," I said quietly, taking his hand when he reached for mine and letting our fingers lock together. "And I want you to really promise. Okay?"
He nodded once in understanding, his hand gently squeezing mine. "Okay, Potter."
I let out a breath, staring down at our hands as I spoke, not quite able to meet his eyes. "I want you to promise to find me on May second. You won't really understand now, I don't expect you to. If you ask, I really can't explain why. But when you can, when it's safe for you to, find me then. Alright?"
I risked a glance up at him now, to see if he looked as puzzled as I expected him to. But he didn't. He was watching me with all seriousness, with no intent to ask questions. He simply stared back, as if processing the request before he gave a small nod.
"It's a promise, Potter," He agreed. I smiled gratefully at him, my heart breaking at the same moment. I didn't want him to leave, but it wasn't something I could stop. Instead of wallowing in self pity though I leaned forward, letting my lips brush his gently before his arms wrapped around my waist and he was pulling me closer, and the tension that had been in my shoulders dropped as I let myself relax into his embrace.
Draco was here now. I had him now, and I loved him. Everything was okay. And right when I felt like I was able to breathe again, I was breathless as suddenly everything was turned around and my back was pressed into the couch, Draco leaning over me as his lips met mine, soft and firm against my own. My fingers moved up his shoulders, moving under and sliding off the jacket he wore to reveal more of the gray sweater underneath.
I broke away then, the giddiness in my stomach encouraging a small laugh to escape my throat. Draco smiled back at me, fingers reaching up to brush the hair out of my eyes. "You alright, Potter?"
"I'm happy," I said simply, giving a small shrug. And it wasn't a lie. Draco smiled then, his expression softening as he leant down, pressing his lips to mine lightly.
"I am too," he assured me, and my hands slid around his neck as I kissed him again, not protesting when he shifted so he was sitting up, his arms wrapped around my waist as I was sat in his lap. I could feel the heat of the fire against the fabric of my sweater, only amplifying the buzzing feeling that had taken over my nerves. I inhaled sharply when his fingers managed to slip under my top, touching scarred skin. He stopped then, obviously taking the tension in my body as a different sort of hesitation.
"Potter–"
"I'm fine. I just... Scars, you know?" I smiled weakly, moving to press his hand against my side when he moved to take it off. "No, I mean- It's okay. It's not like it's the first time."
"I know that. Here– Will you let go of my hand?" Draco rolled his eyes, slipping his hand from mine. I watched with faint amusement and more than a little appreciation as he tugged the sweater off of himself, discarding it to the floor. I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it, his hand reaching for mine again.
"You're not the only one with scars. We're the same, remember?" He said with a weak smirk that contrasted with the fondness in his eyes. I let out a deep breath, smiling weakly at him. I was lucky to love someone who understood insecurity, especially of the same sort. I didn't hesitate then to pull my own sweater over my head, running my fingers through my hair when it caught. Draco reached forward, smoothing it out for me and tucking a loose strand behind my ear. His smirk had faded slightly into a smile, and I felt my cheeks go pink.
"I hate them," I admitted quietly as his thumb brushed a large scar that marked my ribs. I hadn't even had the courage yet to look at my back, to see what the Carrows had done to me. My breath caught when his hand moved up to my chest, lightly pressing against the middle. I'm sure he could feel my heart flutter.
"You got them from courage," Draco said quietly, "and they're not so bad."
I rolled my eyes then, lifting my eyes to look at him skeptically. "Liar."
"Certainly not," he scoffed, hands coming to rest on my ribcage, thumbs brushing over the skin gently. He leaned over, his lips gently pressing against a large scar before he moved up, letting his lips brush my neck. I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, though it was hard when he was pulling me closer, a feeling like fire warming inside me.
"You're as lovely as the day I met you- Lovelier, come to think. You were rather awkward back then, you must admit," He said against the skin of my neck, pulling away when I laughed. He pressed his forehead against mine, his breath lightly fanning my lips when he chuckled quietly, his arms caging my waist.
"Shut up and kiss me," I murmured , my fingers finding his hair as he did exactly as I asked.
_
"Are you ever going to tell me what the bracelet says?" I asked quietly some time later, propping my head up on the hand that wasn't currently held by Draco. Draco looked over at me, stopping his tapping of fingers on the underside of my wrist. We were in a world of pale blue sheets and pillows, and just now I was noticing how similar they appeared to the ones at the Tonks's home.
The entire room had been rearranged, slow enough that we wouldn't notice but enough so little by little as our needs for the room changed. A some point earlier a bed had appeared on the far side of the room, the fire had dimmed and moonlight peeked through windows, giving the room an air of romanticism and softness.
"I- I did not ask for that," Draco had stuttered upon catching sight of the bed, gray eyes wide. I had only laughed, rising from my spot on his lap to walk into one of the moonlit spaces of floor. The light was soft, welcoming, and I let myself bask in it, leaning back into Draco when his arms wrapped around me from behind.
"I like it. The bed, I mean," I had said quietly, turning around so I could loop my arms around his neck. He had looked down at me, faint surprise in his eyes when he got the meaning. When he kissed me after that there was a new passion, a new intensity that had made my head spin. In the end, when all I could see was stars and moonlight that left me breathless, when I had thought I would never touch ground again, it had been the fingers intertwined with mine and the gray eyes that found me afterwards that kept me tied to earth, that my entire world crashed down to with a shuddering crash.
And now Draco watched me, thumb running over my fingers as he answered my question. "My always," he said quietly, not looking away even when pink tinged at his cheeks. It was just visible in the moonlight. "It means my always."
The feelings I held for this boy almost felt too big for me to contain.
"Mea semper," I murmured, pleased to finally understand the meaning of the words. Draco's lips twitched lightly, just a small smile, and I couldn't stop myself from moving forward and kissing him, completely lost in the perfection of everything.
_
Waking up to sunlight and the smell of hot chocolate, I let out a small sigh as I sat up, a yawn escaping as I stretched my arms over my head.
"Good morning" Draco's voice greeted amusedly from beside me, and I turned my head to see him watching me from where he was lying down, pale hair falling into his eyes. I smiled lightly, running my fingers through my hair in a pitiful attempt to straighten it out.
"I smell hot chocolate."
"You do indeed- The house elves stopped by some time last night. Not sure when. Hopefully not too early on."
I blushed at the thought, letting out a quiet groan as I covered my face with my hands. "Don't even- I can't think about scarring house elves right now."
"Though it is a rather amusing idea, admittedly."
"Admittedly," I scoffed, moving my hands from my face to glare at him. It didn't last long though with the currently cheerful emotion pumping through my veins. Breaking away I glanced around the room. "Where's the hot chocolate?"
"Bedside table- Your side. I think they're aware of your obsession," he commented as I reached over, grasping onto the mug. It was warm in my hands, and I hummed contentedly as I held it to my chest, careful not to hold it too close for fear of burning myself.
"Did they not get any for you?" I asked curiously, glancing over at him. He shrugged.
"I drank mine while I was waiting for you to wake up," he told me as he sat up slightly, the blue sheets falling down to his waist. I diverted my attention quickly, sipping from the mug to stop the blush rising from my cheeks. Draco seemed to notice it though and laughed, leaning over to kiss my cheek gently. I smiled a little at the gesture, letting my head drop down to rest on his shouler.
"How much time do you have today?" I asked quietly, reaching down to take hold of his hand with my free one. He intertwined our fingers as he sighed, his head resting atop mine.
"I'm betting on till this afternoon," he said. "We have plently of time– It's only nine, after all."
"Wonderful," I said happily, closing my eyes. "How long have you been awake?"
"Perhaps half an hour or so. I had some messages to respond too."
"Messages?" I asked, opening my eyes and glancing up at him with a frown. Briefly removing his hand from mine, he reached over and pulled a silver band off his finger that looked oddly familiar.
"Messages," he repeated, showing me the ring before he slipped it back onto his finger. "I'm certain you have one too."
"I do. Sirius gave it to me for my birthday," I said with a faint frown as I set the now-empty mug back down on the bedside table. "Glad to know it's unique."
"I'm sure his intent was for it to be special. You were never supposed to have run into me." Draco reminded me, his arms slipping around me as I thought on it, and agreed with a faint sigh.
"I suppose you're right," I sighed lightly, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "It's nine, right?"
"Well, about nine-oh-five now," he said, his tone growing faintly amused as I pressed another kiss to the underside of his jaw. I smiled lightly against the skin of his neck, gathering up enough energy to swing my leg over his and sit myself in his lap. His gray eyes were filled with amusement, fingers reaching up to brush the hair out of my face.
"What're you thinking, love?"
"Well, you said we had plenty of time." I grinned lightly, letting my arms drap over his shoulders. "I suggest we spend it well.
"By biscuits and stimulating conversation, you mean?"
I laughed, nodding quickly as I pulled him down with me.
"Yes, Draco. Exactly that."
_
It was only at eleven that Draco and I finally got out of bed, albeit slowly, to go and pull our clothes off of the floor of the room. I had managed to find my underwear and my sweater, but my jeans remained annoyingly missing. I frowned lightly from where I stood by the fireplace as looked I over to where Draco currently stood, pulling his sweater on over his head.
"Do you know where my jeans are?"
"Over here." He answered, walking towards the opposite corner of the room. I scowled lightly, hands on my hips as Draco walked back towards me.
"How'd they end up over there?"
"I was rather determined to get them off, if you can recall." He reminded me unabashedly as he held them out to me. I rolled my eyes as I pulled them onto my legs, glad to have the warmth in the cooler room. The fire, while having never died, had certainly dimmed enough to not reach some of the further corners of the room.
"You got– hold still," Draco murmured, reaching back to pull my hair out of my sweater with an expression of intense concentration as he tucked a strand back behind my ear. It made me smile somewhat dopily, and even more so at the thought of Severus's look of immense disapproval had he been watching us. Same with Sirius. And perhaps Remus. I think Tonks would understand.
"Thanks." I said, leaning up and pecking his lips lightly. His smile was small and lopsided and I loved it.
"Any time, Potter." He said, looping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him. I let my face hide in the fabric of his sweater as his lips pressed to my forehead. The familar scent of pine filled my lungs, touched with something else- Peppermint, maybe. The smoke of the fire. I'm sure at the current moment the scent that clung to my clothes was similar.
"I hate this war." I mumbled, my eyes shut tightly. Sometimes I wish I was naive enough to be able to forget the mess around me. But I suppose it was too close to home, in too many ways to count. Draco hummed quietly in response, though his arms tightened just a little around my shoulders. I cringed though when it pulled at the scars on my back, and he must've noticed as he was quick to loosen up.
"It'll be over soon." Draco said, his tone faintly strained in a way that made me frown. I looked up at him then, reaching up and touching his cheek gently.
"Oh?"
"It will. It won't hurt you- I won't let it. And then the scariest thing we'll have to do is explain to your father that I'm seeing you again."
"Oh, trust me- If Sirius wants to even try to make up for playing along with the 'Your-boyfriend's-dead' scheme, he'll be more than thrilled." I said with a faint grin, pleased when Draco cracked a small smile, his head dropping and knocking fondly against mine.
"That's reassuring." He said with faint amusement, apparently appreciative of my attempt to lighten the mood he was putting off. My grin fell slightly though as I moved forward, turning so I could wrap my arms around his neck and hug him properly. I did, after all, have to take in as many moments with him as I could. He was leaving Hogwarts, and I would be stuck here, with the Carrows and without him. The thought made my chest feel heavy.
"I don't want you to leave." I hummed quietly, my cheek pressed against his collar bone. "I need you here. You keep me grounded."
"May second." Draco said back, his fingers stroking through my hair. The movement was oddly comforting. "I'll see you again May second, if not sooner." His voie was quiet, an attempt to be reassuring. It took some convincing on my part before I allowed myself to feel reassured, to take a deep breath and hope that he was right.
"May second." I agreed with a nod, tilting my head back to look up at him. He leant down then, lips pressing against mine for a brief second before they were gone. I couldn't blame him for the shortness- I suppose it would be best if we didn't get carried away again, however much the idea made me smile.
"I'm gonna miss you. And worry like hell." I said quietly, swallowing to keep the tightness from closing off my vocal chords. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay?"
"I believe that should be my line." Draco hummed, brows furrowed as he spoke. "I'd ask you to stay out of trouble, but that's pointless. But be smart- Please, for my sake. Find trouble, if you wish, but stop flinging yourself into it."
"I'll try my best." I said with a faint grin, watching as he took my wrist, his fingers brushing over the silver braclet he had given me the night before. He traced over it for a moment before he pressed the back of my hand to his lips.
"Mea Semper." He said gently, gray eyes meeting mine. "Remember that."
Our time together didn't last much longer after that. I nearly cried when he felt the mark burn, a calling that may pull him away for an indefinitet amount of time. Goodbyes were left unspoken, rather shared by a desperate clinging to each other that knocked the breath from my lungs.
And when he left the room, he took part of my heart with him.
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Before all the usual stuff, I want to clear something up:
YES THEY DID THE DO.
And if I get any comments like 'oh I've lost respect for Lily now' or 'I'm disappointed' I will be very impatient. They are both considered adults(Young ones, admittedly. But adults), it was going to happen at some point, and NO there will be no pregnancies as a result of it. They are two characters who care for each other and showed it for once in a more physical way. So no 'slut shaming' or anything of that sort! No, no. No.
Moving on from that, I want to thank you guys for being so patient! You're all amazing and I appreciate it so very much! I tried really hard to give you a guys a good chapter(Sorry not sorry about all the fluff) and I hope you find it satisfactory!
Also, please take note of the song posted with this- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Kind of an older song, but I listened to it while writing this chapter and it gave me a kinda-bubbly-happy feeling in my chest. I think it fits well and I hope you do too. It's very relevant to their relationship, and just fluffy angst(Is that a thing?) everywhere.
I will try to get another chapter up sooner! In the meantime PLEASE feel free to check out the new series I am starting called 'The Girl Marauder'. You can find the prologue and first chapter on my profile. It will be the after-Potter series(Gasp! Don't worry. Potter won't be finished for quite some time yet) and I really think any of you who love Potter would really enjoy it.
Anyway, thank you again for being patient. If any grammer or spelling is off, I apologize. Late nights, early mornings and too much coffee make words blurry sometimes. Please let me know what you think of this chapter by voting, commenting, and of course feel free to drop a message in my inbox letting me know what you think!
Luv ya'll,
Lily