jennie felt numb. and disgusting. she had gotten drunk, so drunk that she didn't even remember being sexually assaulted. she was disgusted with herself. how did she let someone do that to her?
how did she let him out of all people do that to her? chaeyoung always warned her about him, how he was a bad influence on her, and wasn't good for her, but jennie didn't listen.
now she got a wake-up call. and it fucking sucked.
jennie had been staring out of her window for the past few hours. she couldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, and the same things kept running through her head.
she was a fucking disgusting person. she wasn't the pure girl she used to know.
it was all her fault. she shouldn't have been drinking in the first place. she should've been smart. why didn't she ever think responsibly?
this was all her fault. she probably deserved this.
but she wouldn't talk to anyone. lisa and chaeyoung skipped a day of school for her, but she refused to speak. she felt ashamed, so the brunette sat curled up against her bayview window, wondering when the winds and clouds would whisk away all her problems.
it was so funny how just a few days ago she was happy. she was joking with her group, unaware of how much a putrid thing she had committed months ago.
she couldn't even remember it.
you're disgusting, jennie.
"hey." taehyung's voice hummed from the entrance of her room. she couldn't look, couldn't speak, couldn't smile, couldn't cry, couldn't think.
you're disgusting, jennie.
"i, uh, know that you're not talking to anyone, but if it helps, chaeyoung punched yoongi in the face for you." he smiled weakly, sitting down near her. from his perspective, she looked lifeless, asides from her occasional blinking.
she was so thin, in just a few days. and she looked tired too. her eyes were lifeless, and her skinny limbs concealed underneath the layers of clothes she wore. as if she tried to hide herself from everyone.
"and jungkook left some coffee for you downstairs. i know you can't sleep, but maybe that'll take the edge off of your insomnia."
why was he here? wasn't he disgusted with her? why were they all visiting her? jennie was disgusting, why would they visit their disgusting, impure friend? was this a pity party?
"lisa and chaeyoung went for a walk by the way." he continued. "your grandma let me in. i probably shouldn't be alone with you in your room, but..."
taehyung sighed. "jennie, please talk to me. i know it's hard, but you need to try."
her eyes shifted to him, swallowing. "why are you here?"
taehyung blinked. "why? jennie...we, i, care about you."
"so disgusting." she mumbled, resting her chin on her knees. "i'm so disgusting."
"no you're not."
"yes, yes i am." she bit her lip. "it's my fault."
"he forced himself onto you." he frowned. "you were molested, jen. this is no way near to being your fault."
"i...drank too much. i didn't say no. i gave consent not realizing what i was doing." jennie's eyes turned back to his again. "stop saying that. stop making me seem like a good person. i'm not, i am bad. i did something very bad."
"no. you are a good person." taehyung moved closer to her. "i know you are. you helped all of us jennie. and that's why we're all here, because we care about you. and you helped me, helped me get myself together."
"you said that you'd always be there for me." he crossed his legs. "so i'm doing the same. even if you don't want to talk, i'll be here. but please, don't say this is your fault. you're a victim. and you don't deserve this."
her eyes were glossed over. that's when taehyung knew he said something right. she finally realized the pain, and let herself feel it.
"i thought he was a good person." she choked, fisting her hands into her oversized shirt. then her hands loosened, shaking slightly in the process.
"he used to be nice to me. he used to be so sweet. he tricked me."
"i know." taehyung responded before, resting a hand on her back. jennie's head slumped into her hands, sobbing.
this time, all of them were there for her. to catch her as she was falling.
a/n: you will not believe how many more chapters are left :c
one more :") thank you guys for supporting this amazing emotional rollercoaster