My senses were reeling. I knew that scent but lack of experience and the drive to get as far away from Pierce made me temporarily ignore it. Pierce's words were no surprise, but had he been truly planning on killing me?
My feet flew across the ground, I wasn't sure where I was going but I continued to run. I could hear Pierces growls along with howls from Ben and the others. I was momentarily happy to have seen them. Why had they come? Did something happen to Kain? They had seemed to have wanted me, but what was the reasoning?
I shook my head so I could focus on the path ahead. Nothing was familiar. In my weeks staying with Pierce, the outdoors were never a priority, and as history dictates, going outside never ended well for me. I was one who never learned from past mistakes. The scents all around me were still overwhelming, Pierce's scent littered the entire area, this was clearly his territory. The other smells, trees, grass, animals and more were just as strong.
Slowing down into a trot I took in my surroundings. The forest had become slightly denser, sunlight shown through the trees overhead, but I wasn't entirely sure which direction to go. Left? Right? Straight? Turn back?
Coming to a stop, I circled around myself, lost. My wolf was spooked. His scent was still around. It wasn't too fresh but it wasn't old either. Should I go to him? Maybe it would be best? My wolf growled, he did not like that idea.
Freezing, I listened. It had become too silent. My ears perked slight twitching in hopes to pick up any sounds, my body trembled, something was off. The howls had stopped, and Pierce's growls were long gone. Had I gotten away from them? Impossible, right? I wasn't that fast. Doing another circle I made the quick decision to bound off to the East. Staying still wasn't a good idea. Whoever was following me would find me much too soon if I didn't keep on running. I had a suspicion that it was possibly Pierce stalking me, making the chase into a game but I wasn't sure.
I was livid at his words and upset that I was useless to him outside whatever he wanted to know about the packs. I didn't know anything useful, to begin with. The previous day came back to me. The bed, his arms wrapped around me. His scent. He had been so comforting, so relaxed, so safe.
"Who says I plan to mate or breed with him?"
"To mate an Omega would shame my family, oh no fleabag."
That's what he said. My heart sank, I wanted to howl, wanted to cry. I knew when I was branded that I wouldn't be allowed to have that type of happiness. I knew I had ruined it for myself. However, since being with Pierce I thought I had found a new type of happiness that I was content with. I thought I had found a place for myself. Even though I had known it was temporary I truly thought Pierce would grow attached to me and keep me. I wanted that, wanted him, his warmth, his safety. It was all my own destructive thinking though. He had told me from the beginning that I wouldn't be with him long term, but I let myself hope. I was truly addicted to my own self-destruction.
I was too caught up in my own thoughts to notice where I was going and before I knew it I felt the ground beneath me disappear. The front of my body fell first and a howl echoed out of my mouth as I started to tumble down a steep rocky ledge. My body hit the rocky surface multiple times before I finally hit the branch of a tree and before finally coming into contact with the ground. I gasped for breath, winded, my chest hurt, my body hurt. The fall had been hard. I laid there.
I could smell my own blood, and I felt the throbbing pain course through me. I didn't move though. I was afraid to move. The pain was welcomed though. The anger that whirled inside of me was still present but the pain helped ease it.
Shame.
I would bring shame to anyone that would think of mating me. I wasn't made for my own happiness. The Moon had decided long ago that us Omegas were only as useful as the pack saw fit. We were made to create happiness for others. Maybe I was selfish in hoping to have my own happiness. Maybe that's what my problem was, I was too selfish.
Opening my eyes I looked around, trees, rocks, sticks, the scenery was no different. The smells were all the same. I was still within Pierces territory. The only difference was, was that his scent was no longer present and I felt a tinge of sadness. If Beta was still around, he would take care of me. He would end my suffering. He wanted me and I knew that my life would be very short-lived once I was in his hands. It would make him happy and wasn't that what I was made for? To make others happy?
I felt my wolf snap at me. He didn't like my thoughts, didn't agree with them. He liked Pierce but didn't like the things he said. He was furious with the Cat and he wanted to sink his teeth back into his flesh for hurting us but he also wanted to feel his warmth. The Beta would only be pain, we would be used and then killed, but was the Beta really at fault for his actions? It was a result of who I was.
Pierce, however, To feel those arms holding us and keeping the night terrors away versus hands that would hit me, claws that would tear into my skin, part of me wanted one while the other craved another. I wanted my suffering to end, one would grant it and the other was such an unknown card. My wolf wanted Pierce, wanted me to remember who well we slept the night before. Last night had been the best sleep I'd gotten in a long time. It had felt so right being with him. It was a hard feeling to ignore.
Shakily I started to raise myself up into a sitting position. I growled slightly in pain. Once up I tried to inspect my own body. My legs were scraped up, and I had a decent sized gash on my side but other than that I couldn't feel anything broken.
"Toby!"
My head shot up at the call of my name. My wolf reeled in delight at his voice. Pierce was there standing on the ledge. Shakily I stood and let a growl out. My wolf may not be too angry anymore but I was furious. The feeling of betrayal was hitting me hard now that he was here. I couldn't trust him. I no longer knew what his intentions were with me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. What I did know was that it was still too soon to be found. I didn't want to face him, punishment was a sure thing, and I didn't feel up for it. My fall had been enough to satisfy the dark part of me that craved the abuse.
"Toby, don't move!" His voice was a mixture of demanding and frantic. I scoffed at him and stood up and started to walk off. I couldn't run, the fall had hurt my back enough that I knew I would just fall over if I attempted. I knew Pierce would easily catch me now that he was this close, however that didn't mean I was just going to lay down and wait for him.
I heard his growl and then a thump. Glancing behind me, sure enough, Pierce was back in his Cat form stalking towards me, green eyes glowing dangerously. Turning towards him I growled low and flashed my canines at him. A warning to stay away.
My wolf felt my anger, he knew where it stemmed from and it lit up his own. He wanted the Cat but he also wanted a nice bite out of him. We were a muddle of emotions. Conflicting emotions that seemed to change far to often. I was breaking.
Pierce let another growl out and continued to stalk towards me. I could smell the blood from the wound I had inflected and I inwardly smiled. Good. I'm glad. I lowered my front slightly, my tail going straight up, I was fully prepared to fight him.
He stopped just a few paces in front of me. His own tail twitched angrily. Both of our eyes were locked in a heated stare off. I snapped my jaws at him, and he just continued to growl lowly at me. I didn't deserve all of his anger. I understood that I had messed up first. I left the house without permission, but I had been worried about them. It was instinct that had me running, I didn't deserve the anger that stemmed from me running from him though. He's the one who made it known that my purpose was no more than a pawn. He wasn't teaching me to talk for his own gain, it was all a front. A disguise. His real colors were slowly showing.
The stare-off continued and soon Pierce sat down in front of me. His tail continued to flick but his posture was laxer. I didn't move for another handful of minutes but soon I found myself lowering to the ground as well. My legs had started to tremble from the tense position, the need to rest strong. Laying on the side without the gash, I kept my head up and locked onto Pierce. I was still wound-up tight and ready to jump if he made any moves towards me.
Pierces gaze moved from my eyes to my bloodied fur. The white fur was an ugly red now and clearly dirty from the dirt that it had picked up from my fall. A small growl left my lips to bring his attention back to me. I bared my teeth at him again, warning.
I could see his eyes roll at me. Clearly he didn't think I was a threat as he stood and walked towards me. I snapped at him when he got close enough but found myself unable to get up. The impact of my fall had my muscles screaming.
Pierce towered over me and gave me his own warning growl before circling to my back and laying down behind me. I could feel his body against my back and the annoyance I felt intensified. I didn't want him near me right now. I wanted to stay mad, to remember why I was mad. I didn't want to fall for the false feelings, the fake smiles, and I didn't want to get our hopes up.
Continuing to ignore my warnings, Pierce started to lick at my fur, grooming me. Before I could stop myself I lashed out at him and bit the closest part of him that I could reach, his ear. Letting out a hiss and then a growl Pierce whirled his head to me and glared dangerously into my own anger filled eyes. We stared for a moment longer before he used his large paw to swipe my head to the ground. A snarl ripped through me as I started to fight but Pierce just got up and laid down on top of me, his much larger body fully preventing any further movement.
A whimper escapes my lips as too much pressure was applied to my wounded side and quickly I felt Pierce readjust himself to alleviate the pain. Teeth found their way to the scruff of my neck but I continued to try and struggle. I didn't want to make things easy for him but I was also becoming tired. The run, adrenaline, and the fall was the most I've done in weeks. I wasn't fit enough to exert myself so hard. After a few more tense moments I laid my head down and sighed. Giving up. My wolf was drained, I was tired. Sleep would be nice.
Sensing my surrender, Pierce extracted his teeth and went back to licking me. He kept most of his body on top of mine, clearly not trusting me. His rough tongue felt good and I felt myself slowly relax under his ministrations. When his tongue got close to my wound I let out a small growl and was only met with a louder one from him along with a small nip to my ear.
Lifting my head I looked at the Cat as he worked his tongue over the open wound and felt the sting of hurt hit me hard. A whine escaped me, Pierce didn't lookup. He knew. He knew why I was upset. Another whine left my mouth and again Pierce didn't react. My wolf felt it, the change. Before I could stop it a low mournful howl left me. This kindness was all an act. I knew that now. I knew this was all fake, a lie to make me comfortable because of some scheme he was plotting. I knew that. I had a feeling that was the case from the beginning, but it still hurt. The pain was still there.
A mistake.
I was a mistake.
The Moon messed up when she created me. When she allowed me life, she realized that she had messed up. I was not meant for happiness. I was not meant for a peaceful life.
I lowered my head as silence met my ears. Silence.
Even though Pierce was beside me, I was alone.
Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply. That scent was present again, stronger than before. A small thrill of excitement hit me but I made no move to look around. He was nearby, possibly watching me. He'd found me, and I wasn't sure when, but I knew he would come and take me. Pierce didn't know the Beta's scent, didn't seem to notice just how close the wolf was to us, but I did. His scent was forever ingrained into my head, his voice ingrained into my soul. He would retrieve me soon, and I wasn't sure I wanted to prevent that. I was much too cowardly to kill myself, my wolf would prevent that. The Beta, however, he would do the deed happily. My life was his to end, and I was looking forward to the day he came for it. That day would surely be soon.
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AN: Hello loves! This is one of two chapters being posted this week! This is out slightly later than I had wanted but hey.. i really didn't like how I was writing this chapter and ended up scrapping it and redoing it completely, still not sure how I feel about it.
Thank you for the comments and votes! I can't help but smile at them. So thank you for putting a smile on my face!! And I haven't decided on the end story pairing yet. I think I stated before that my original plan had changed. I do love my Toby so I'm hoping I can give him happiness... one day... 😏 And try to remember that Toby is completely and fully mentally unstable. He's been abused since he was a baby, the mental trauma of that time is fully messing him up. His thoughts, emotions, his self destructive tendencies. All of it has a rhyme and reason, and even if it seems confusing or even conflicting at times, that's just how his mind works. As his character develops I'm sure changes in these things will get better.. or worse.. Who knows what the next chapter will lead to.
And with that I will see y'all in just a few days! If you haven't already, don't forget to follow me for updates and delays on AO and more!
Comments and votes breathe life into my weak soul! Both help me thrive as a human, and feeds my writers heart. (Dramatic right? 😂) I really do appreciate them though, so thank you so much to those who do!!
As of 4/9/2019 AO is ranked #1 for boyxboy. Thank you all for that!