Not happening, kid...
Izuku snapped back into reality as he heard the loud honk of a car in front of him. He had stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, and the cars waiting weren't having it. He quickly scrambled to the safety of the sidewalk. His eyes were heavy with haze and sorrow. He was thinking about that day again. He sighed with frustration. He told himself he'd stop thinking about that day.
It'd been all too long since he quit his dream of becoming a doctor. It'll be one month tomorrow. The days crept by painfully slow as he stayed at home and buried himself in his own self-pity. His mother was sympathetic, she told him she didn't care, though Midoriya knew that she was upset, only putting on a brave face for her boy. He heard her crying the night he told her. He quit his medical school and was currently going nowhere. Doing nothing, worthless as he was born to be. Pathetic. Ever since then he had been half-heartedly looking for a new interest to pursue, a new school to go to, some use he could make out of his living. He was starting to think that there wasn't anything he could do. He was trying, he really was, but-
Not trying hard enough.
He sighed in frustration, staring down at his feet as he walked. His shoes hit the floor with a gentle pitter-patter pattern as they became the only sound he heard. He was thankful, hearing the voice of a human would surely make him go insane. It seemed as though anything someone had to say about him was negative. And rightfully so. He had decided to go on a walk to clear his head, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. It never quite worked, his head was full of and found himself, instead, wandering to the same place he had been when he last saw Kacchan. No reason in particular, really. He just seemed drawn to it. He still remembered every detail of that day. The position of the sun. The number of people in the streets. Everything.
"Just give up. You're not going to fit in. Anywhere."
He recalled his words with a flinched. He was still angry. No, not angry. Angry did his feelings no justice. He was infuriated. So, so, infuriated. He felt like he needed revenge. Not just on Kacchan- but on the dark, cruel world. On All Might, for what he said to him all those months ago. On his mother, for never truly supporting him. On himself, for being born the pathetic quirkless loser he was. On everyone
The world had done him wrong just by existing and it really pissed him off. It was so uncharacteristic of him. He usually blamed himself for everything that happened to him. He was usually so timid and shy and kind. Now he would often snap at his mother and lock himself in his room and scream and cry, cry less but still cry, and then scream some more and occasionally break something. There was too much anger to fix in his small body.
Izuku Midoriya.
Once the most kind, gentle, soul. One who would walk on eggshells just to avoid saying the wrong thing. One who always smiles and says he's okay just to make those around him feel better. The one who sacrifices his happiness for everybody. The one who gets trampled on and thrown to the side.
Izuku Midoriya.
Now a fiery enrage soul. One who has more anger than he knows what to do with. One who frowns more often than not. One who screams and shouts at his own mother. One who spend the majority of his day in his bed, looking out the window at happy people walking by and wishing they were as miserable as him. The one who shoves anyone and everyone to the side and doesn't care who he hurts.
Izuku Midoriya.
The once who has and always will be the most worthless kid on the planet.
Then suddenly, he stopped walking as he realized something. His eyes lingering on the ground for a moment before anxiously looking up. He looked around, suddenly frantic. because no one's around. This is usually a reasonably busy part of the city. With cars busily rushing by on their way to some important event or another, or people jostling by on a jog or a trip to the convenient store. Or simply kids, playing outside their houses, laughing and screaming with joy, having not a care in the world, knowing nothing but happiness. But today, midday, no one was there. No cars, no one walking on the sidewalk, no one making conversation, no kids playing in their backyards. It was completely and utterly empty.
Not a soul but himself.
The air was suddenly filled with fear. His fear. He wasn't sure what, but something about being alone made him shudder. Like something was breathing on his neck. Like alone was going to attack him at any given moment. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. Should he run? Should he scream? But what for, what does he have to be scared about? No one's here. How can he be in danger if he's alone? He had no idea why his heart was suddenly beating out of his chest, but his fear did not feel out of place. And it seemed as though he had a right to be scared. A right to suddenly want to turn around and run for his life and never turn back. Never come down this street again.
Because in the next moment a big gaping hole of purple and black appeared from underneath him and he was falling into a black abyss of nothing. It was a weird sensation, falling. Nothing for his feet to touch. It felt like he would fall forever, never reach an end, but at the same moment, it also felt like any second would be his last and he's reach his doom. It felt like he was falling at one hundred miles an hour, but it also felt like he was falling in slow motion. His heart thumped rapidly in his chest, louder than before, louder than he thought possible. He opened his mouth, trying to let out a cry for help, but nothing came out, it was like sound was non-existent in this realm of nothing.
He felt like he was falling, falling, falling into a deep hole. A hole filled with misery and anger. The own feelings that had been bottled up inside him were now tangible, around him, he was swimming it, yet he couldn't feel it. A hole filled with his treacherous thoughts. The wind howled, violently pulling his body into what seemed to be in every direction. The darkness around him was strange. Not like a vast darkness that stretched out for miles that could never end no matter how long he fell, but thick, like walls of darkness I could never touch. He reached out to try and touch it, but he suddenly can't even see his own hand, as though he's drowning in darkness that he can't feel and it's covering his body. He can still feel his body, but in a numb sort of way. Like for this moment, he doesn't really exist. It was the strangest feeling that lasted only but a few seconds but felt like hours.
His vision blurred; he wasn't sure how considering he couldn't see anything in the first place, but it did. His mind ached and his breathing grew rapid. What was this? What was happening? How is this happening? There were so many unanswered questions. He shut his eyes tight in fear. He was traumatized. Paralyzed. Was this the end? After everything, was he finally letting go of this dark, cruel world? Perhaps everything would finally be alright, he'd died peacefully and there would be a funeral. No one would attend, most likely, but it would be nice. It would be quiet. Perhaps the world was better without him in it. Everything is going to be okay now...
And then he felt something. The gentle thud of his body hitting the rough hard surface of something filled his ears. His breathing seemed to be knocked out of his chest as he heaved. His fingers desperately tried to grip onto something. Though numb, they met hard, solid ground. He took in deep breaths, flickering his shut eyes open before taking in the scene of everything. He was met face front with, what seemed to be, bais wood tiling. A type of floor...The floor of... Of a bar?
Of a bar.
Of a bar.
This had been some kind of joke-
Before he had time to think anything over, his face was abruptly smashed into the ground by a forceful hand, a yelp escape passed his teeth as he flinched. He couldn't get a good look at the bar, as his face was being forced against the ground by a cold hand on his neck.
"Tie him up, Kurogiri!"
Who's that? Izuku started to freak out. His breathing came fast. His heart that had previously calmed down from the temptation of death was now back it's one million miles an hour rate. He started to kick in resistance as strong arms pick him up. A blindfold was urgently put over his face. The arms shoved his body into a chair. Metal bars trap his wrists and ankles into place so any chance of escape is futile. Midoriya struggled anyway, desperate for escape.
He shook his head in frustration, gritting his teeth together. "What the hell?" Izuku managed to choke out, voice raspy and weak. "Who are you?!"
"Calm down. We will not hurt you, young Midoriya," a voice said soothingly. It seemed rather distant, bittersweet. It sounded overly-friendly, menacing in a way. Far too calm for what the situation allowed. A chill raked down Midoriya's spine as he shivered. There were the sound of multiple footsteps and a cold hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder, applying a slightly uncomfortable amount of pressure to it. He struggled in his restraints, trying to cower away from the hand. He didn't want to be touched; it was the last thing he wanted. Especially not by this hand, this hand that felt unwelcome and treacherous. Just it's by feeling it's touch Izuku could feel all of the agony it's caused. All of the pain, all of the death. All of the blood that has been washed off of it.
Notably, he could only feel four fingers resting on his shoulder
"Let me go!" He hissed in annoyance. He wasn't in the mood for this. He just wanted to walk around the city all day, maybe even spend it with his mother. Not here, with these people. Not where he could be killed at any given moment or tortured or worst. He'd even take falling into nothing over this. He thought he was going to die. Why couldn't he just have died?
"Ah, such anger," a second voice said with pleasure, as though it's proud of such a thing. "Oh, but not at us, now, is it?"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Anger, anger, anger. So much anger. "Shut up!"
He struggled so hard the chair topples over-
Stupid.
Worthless.
Quirkless.
Loser.
Izuku feels hot angry tears running down his face no matter how hard he tried to hold them back. Because it's all coming back to him now, every terrible thing that has ever been said to him. Every disgust fact about himself. Everything that made his existence worthless.
...
Not going to happen, kid.
...
Just give up. You're not going to fit in. Anywhere.
...
Quirkless loser.
...
And then the blindfold is relieved from his face and he can see his kidnappers. His eyes widened. He wanted to scream, doesn't. He's speechless. He can't make out a single word.
Tomura Shigaraki. The head of the league of villains. Kurogiri. A well-known member of the league of villains. Both were standing in front of him now, watching him as he sobbed on the floor.
His breathing hitched as he tried to frantically shift away.
"We are scarred as well, young Midoriya." Shigaraki knelt beside him and stroked his head gently as though he was a pet. Midoriya crunched his face together in distaste and jerked his head to try to move away, as though he were avoiding the plague. "We are fighting for survival, just like you."
Izuku sniffled and looked up at him, starting to calm down. The tears had ceased, though his face was still puffy and red and wet with previous salty tears. He looked into the villain's eyes. They were sincere.
"We may not be the side you want to be on," Kurogiri complied, Midoriya narrowed his eyes a bit at that. "But we will accept you. Quirk or no."
"You don't know me!" Midoriya growled as he struggled some more. "Just let me go! Leave me alone!"
"Calm yourself," Shigaraki said softly, Midoriya stopped for a brief moment, dumbfounded as to why the head of the league of villains was being so nice. Then the brief moment was over and I was back to struggling. "We are not your enemy. We did not turn you down. We did not tell you that you were nothing. All Might did. Bakugou did. Do real heroes do that?"
"How do you know about that!" He shouted accusingly, burying his face into the hardwood floor so they couldn't see his wet face.
"We can guide you," Kurogiri told him, ignoring his questions entirely. "We can help you while no one else can. While no one else will."
Midoriya squeezed my eyes shut. He didn't want to listen. He didn't want them to be right. They were villains. . . Just villains. Heartless villains. They didn't want what was best for him. They didn't. They were lying. They were lying.
"You must be skeptical. You were taught to hate villains, yes? And by who? The very people you shut off your dreams. The very source to your anger and misery."
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
"And we? We have nothing against you. We are villains, as so labeled from society. But what if society is wrong? What if they are the villains? Giving people disgusting false hope that things will be better?"
Shut up. Shut up. Shut... up.
"Just think about it."
Shigaraki stopped stroking his hair and rested his arm on his hand for a moment. Then, he lifted the chair up, along with Midoriya to it's feet. His expression held no anger, no malice, no evil intent, just calm and truth.
Izuku looked down. Just villains. Just villains...
"We're not just villains, you know." It was as if Shigaraki read his mind. Midoriya was taken aback. "Were human, too. Most of us are outcasts, too. Rejects. Refugees. Looking for new purpose. Looking for acceptance."
He tried not to fall into his bait. Into the temptation of what he was saying. Villains...They were bad, right? Surely if they were outcasted they deserved it. Surely all their misfortune was simply karma for all the destruction they had caused. The heroes had done him wrong, sure, but would they really lie about the evil lurking in the shadows that is the League of Villains? After all, they were still heroes. They still saved everyone...Right?...
"My parents abandoned me when I was young," Shigaraki said suddenly, sounding distant. Midoriya's attention was attracted. He listened. "They left me but All For One rescued me. He taught me that heroes are nothing but the pedestal they stand on. We rely on them so much that they can't even see the suffering they've caused. It was All For One who saved me, not him. Not All Might. My parents were heroes, they saved people all of the time, but they couldn't even be bothered to save me." There was sorrow behind his voice.
"All For One. . ." He muttered. He remembered hearing that name on television- when All Might had defeated him. The brains behind the league. All For One must've been a father figure to him. And now he was locked up. His only family, gone. That sounded heartbreaking. After his parents had left him willingly, his only replacement was taken from him by force. He remembered watching the footage on TV that day that it happened. Shigaraki was there, yes but- All For One save him by teleporting him elsewhere. Saving him and sacrificing himself in the process.
"We're not heartless," Kurogiri confirmed. "We care for each other. We help each other."
"But you kill people." Midoriya spat, voice laced with venom and eyes narrowed straight at Kurogiri, though his words were half-hearted, he could feel himself running out of reasons to object. His mindset was starting to shift, his ideals were being challenged. He could tell right from wrong anymore.
"For the sake of many others, young Midoriya. We kill only when we need to."
"Which side are you on, Midoriya?" Shigaraki's voice was impatient. "The side whose only ever turned you down or the side who will welcome you with open arms?"
Izuku's head ached. He didn't want to have to think anymore. He felt so numb. It was all there in front of him;
Years of bullying and abuse.
Years of dwelling on rejection after rejection.
Years of everything not going his way.
It wasn't his fault, no, it wasn't- It was the world's fault. It was Kacchan's fault. It was All Might's fault. It was his beloved mother's fault. It wasn't his fault, though, not his. The people, walking along the street every day, laughing and having fun. They were happy. So falsely so.
Because no one cares to see the odd the out. No one cares to see the one who's suffering.
None of them ever saw him-
And it was all of their faults, too. Izuku starting to feel anger boil a pit in his chest. His mind was suddenly clear of all past judgment and he weighed his options fairly. Two sides, two different ideas that held the foundations of their side together. Two sides to choose from. Two sides. One side beat those with different ideas up and threw them in jail and took all the fame and glory and money they wanted from it. One side was just trying to survive, they challenged what everyone thought was right. They changed the default setting of the game. They accepted those who needed acceptance. They were heroes, in a way. Murderers, yes, but heroes to those who really needed a hero. When those who were labeled hero would no longer be there. His eyes flashed to a dark hue. He started to feel resolve in him. And-
"I-I'll do it," he whispered, voice shaky and eyes lifting to meet Shigaraki's. He was unsure, but he had zero control over himself at this point. His limit was finally reached, he was done. Done being the good boy he was raised to be. Done being the one to help others. Now he wasn't going to be that kind of person. No. No. Being that person did nothing for him, only lowered him down and made him look pathetic; an easy target. Midoriya felt disgusted being in his own skin. He was a weakling, a loner. He wasn't going to ruin this chance of finally taking revenge on the ones who hurt him. The ones who looked down upon him in disgust and disappointment. He was sick and tired of that.
"I'll join you."