You guys know the drill
50 votes
10 comments
-
Josh dropped me outside the house, it was dark now. I had managed to get one calm word out of Nathan on the phone before I put it down. I sighed and reached in the back to pull my bag out, I slung it on my back and leant into Josh to give him a kiss. He kissed me and said goodbye as I walked up the path, he waited until I was in my house before driving off.
I closed the door and flicked the light on to see Nathan sat on the stairs, I gasped and put a hand over my heart.
"Jesus Christ, Nathan! You scared the living shit out of me" I glared at him
He stared at me, his arms rest on his kness as he sat on the stairs. I slung my bag down by the door and stared back at him. He didn't look away once so I crossed my arms and rest my back up against the front door.
"I could do this all day, Nathan" I sighed; bored
He blinked slowly and stood up, he walked down the two steps he needed to until his feet touched the ground floor and he walked right up to me "Dylan, who were you with?"
"Why does that matter?" I looked away
He sighed and closed his eyes "Were you with Josh?"
I looked down at the ground and played with my thumbs "Might've been"
I looked up to see Nathan run a hand through his hair, my eyes caught on his tattoo sleeves and I couldn't help but almost fall in love with him on that basis only. He stepped back from me, his eyes looked tired as if he had been awake for days.
"Are you seeing him? As in are you dating?" He turned around so his back was too me
I scowled at his back "So what if I am?"
"Stay away from him Dylan" He turned to me
I was taken aback by the sudden harshness in his voice as he said this "Why?"
He dragged his hands over his face "Just don't go there, I know him better then most and I don't want to see you hurt...Just don't do it Dyls?"
I stiffened at the nickname only my sister and closest friends use, I looked up at him to see him running his hands through his hair again
"Why?" I repeated myself
He shouted out in annoyance "Dyaln, please! He'll only break your heart! That is if you are capable of falling in love"
I shoved myself off the door now, I walked towards him and forced him to back up. I was a little smaller then him in the height and build side of things, so it was a little suprising to see him back away from me as I came at him
"How do you know about that? How do you know what people say about me?"
He swallowed hard "I know people in that school..."
It didn't sound very convincing, he managed to trip back on the stairs and fall backwards. He caught himself before he landed hard on the wodden stairs. I stood there as I waited for him to tell me the real reason. He sighed and sat himself up straight, he put his head in his hands and he rest his elbows on his knees.
"Dylan, please stop"
"Why? What aren't you telling me?" I scowled at him
He sighed and rubbed his face, I could hear his rouch hands catching on the stubble that was growing on his face. His hair was in need of a haircut, it was roughly laid over his head and his T-shirt was very tight on the muscles in his arms.
"I might've lied to you last night" He mumbled
I narrowed my eyes at him "What part?"
He looked up at me, his green eyes were sad and tired all at the same time. He really was a gorgeous human being but after everything that has come out in the past few hours, I don't know what to think or feel about him.
He sighed "Dylan, please don't think bad of me...Honestly, I don't want us to become enimies before we've even become close friends"
I rolled my eyes "I let you sleep in the same bed as me last night, I'd say I trust you a fair bit"
He nodded "I told you last night that I had gotten over you, that I realised that I was in love with Cory"
I closed my eyes, I knew where this was going. I'd known the boy for four days and now all this was coming out. I stopped my thoughts there, I may have known him for four nights, but he has known me a lot longer. I waited for him to go on, he rubbed his face again.
"I never got over you, I never wanted to get over you. I fell in love with you, all of you even though you didn't know my existance. It's stupid, I know, but sometimes you can't help who you fall for. I know more about you then you think" He sighed
As cute as this was, I wasn't in the mood to have him pouring his heart out to me. I listened though, but the thought that he mind cheated on my sister over me was enough to make me want to kill him. I sighed and sat on the floor, looking at my thumbs as we both sat in silence.
"Did she know? Did Cory know that you had taken a liking to me?" I whispered
He sighed deep "We had broken up three months previous of her passing becuase of it"
I snapped my head up then "Why do you go and see her then?"
"Becuase I promised her that I would always be there for her, if we were together or not"
I nodded "Did you break it off with her?"
I looked up at him and he shook his head, I gasped "She broke it off with you?"
He nodded and took a deep breath "There was no hard feelings between us, she told me that she didn't want things to be so distant between us. She said she sees the way that I looked at you, the way it was almost like I idolosed the ground you walked on. She said that me and you would make a better couple"
I laughed softly "That sounds like her, she was always trying to get me with someone"
Nathan laughed now and silence fell upon us, I sighed deep and looked at my nails again. I wanted to forgive Nathan for being so angry and warning me about Josh. I stood up and brushed myself down and looked up at Nathan who had his forehead on his legs.
"Nathan?"
He looked up at me and I took a deep breath "I am seeing Josh"
He groaned and looked at me with pleading eyes, as if he was begging me not to do this. I sighed deep and rubbed my forehead before answering "I know you know him the best out of us all, but things haven't looked good like this in my life since before Cory died"
"Things are going to end bad, Dylan, trust me on this one" He whispered
"But what if you're wrong" I whispered back
He shook his head and stood up, he gripped the top of my arms and looked me staight in the eyes "I have known him nearly all my life, I know him and I know his games. Please I can't stand and watch you have your heart ripped out again, please don't do this"
I looked away from him "Why do you care so much?"
He moved even closer now, and stood over me "Did you not listen to a word I just said?! I'm in love with you Dylan, I've fallen in love in the worst way possible"
I sighed but said nothing, I heard him laugh softly before walking up the stairs. I heard a door slam shut and I just sat down on the bottom step, I put my head in my hands and let out a long sigh again. Everything was so confusing right now, everything was not as it was supposed to be.
I wasn't supposed to meet a random stranger in the dead of night, i wasn't suppose to have this stranger turn up at my house one night, I wasn't suppose to get in the mess that I am now. I most certainly wasn't suppose to have this stanger tell me he loves me after knowing him for a few days. Now I seem to be in this messed up love triangle/rectangle -if you include my dead sister- with this stranger that intices me in and the boy I have been dreaming of for years.
After a while I finally stood up from the steps and walked up them, I went into my room and closed my door. When I walked around the corner I saw Nathan leaning by the window, his head out of it while he smoked on a cigarette.
He stood there only in a pair of trackies, his top discarded on the floor by my bed. I looked at his back, a new tattoo that I had never seen before, it was beautiful in a sinister sort of way. It was a male angel, crouched on a floor with his wings wrapped around himself while he hid his face in his arms and knees.
I walked over to him and reached my hand out hesitantly, I let my fingertips trace the intricate lines of the tattoo. He flinched slightly when he felt my finger come in contact whith his skin, he didn't say anything though, he stood by the window still smoking. I walked to his side and joined him by the window, leaning my right shoulder up against the wall.
"I didn't know you had one on your back" I stated
He took a drag of the cigarette and shrugged "You never asked"
"It's beautiful" I sighed "What's it for?"
"To show that even the most powerful of creatures can be broken"
I reached over and took the cigarette from his hands befoe he could take a drag and took one myself, he watched me and shuffled over so I could lean out the window and finish the cancer stick. We stood in silence now, looking over the blackness of my front yard and then the street ahead of us.
"How long were you and her together for?"
He sighed and reached into his back pocket, pulling his packet of cigarettes out and took one to light, placking the packet on the windowsill he pulled his lighter out and lit the cigarette hanging from his lips. He looked the definition of perfect stood there, with his tattoos and bare torso smoking while he leant on the windowsill.
"Three years" He exhaled the smoke, he didn't look at me once.
I nodded and took a drag from my cigarette "How long have you known me?"
He sniffed and scratched the back of his neck "Three years"
I swallowed and twisted the familiar item in my fingers "How long have you been in love with me?"
He was silent for a while, I looked at him and saw he had his eyes closed as he brought the cigarette to his lips. He opened his eyes and looked down before whispering his reply "Three years"
I took a deep breath and flicked the last of my cigarette out the window and onto the lawn where it would burn out in a few minutes. The silence between us was heavy and uncomfortable now, I wanted to resolve it but I didn't know what to say. I walked away from the window and him and sat on the couch in my room, I reached under it and waited for Nathan to finish.
I watched as Nathan finished his cigarette and turned around, he looked at me breifly. I stood up and ran my hand down his harm before I caught his wrist "Come with me"
I pulled him out of my room and into Cory's. I went over to her dressing table and opened the drawer, pulling out her photo book I shoved it into his hands "I've never looked in it, but I'm sure you'll be in it"
He looked at the book in his hands "Should I look through this?"
"You can have it" I shrugged
"But I wasn't dating her"
"And?" I sighed "I think you need to know how she really felt"
"Why are you doing this? Don't you like the fact that I am in love with you?"
I furrowed my brow "Trust me, I love the fact that you told me but...My sister loved you"
He shoved the book back in my hands "You can't help who you fall in love with Dylan, it wasn't my choice to fall in love with you! And now that I know you... I wish that I hadn't"
He turned back round and I stared at his back as he went back into my room, I shoved Cory's book on her bed and chased after Nathan, I slammed my way into my room to see him pulling his shirt on "What was that supposed to mean?"
He laughed bitterly "You run off with my mate today, I tell you to stay away from him and you just give me lip, I tell you that I am completly and wholy in love with you and you completly dissmiss it"
"I didn't dissmiss it!" I shouted at him
I blocked his way as he went to leave my room, he was going to listen to what i had to say. He looked at me and rubbed his forehead before saying "Well you didn't exactly return it did you"
I laughed increduliously "You expect me to love you back! Nathan you may have known me for years but I have known you for days, excuse me for not falling in love with someone at first sight! I don't believe in that I'm afraid so if that's what you want in a girl then I suggest you get over me and you do it quick!"
"What did you say?" He whispered
I breathed heavy, out of breath due to my outburst "I don't believe in love at first sight"
He stepped closer to me "Why?"
I looked away from him "Becuase then you're only falling in love with the looks, you don't know anything about their personality...They could have a beautiful face but an ugly personality"
He looked at me before he spoke "I don't believe in that either"
"Well then you have no excuse to expect me to feel the same way" I crossed my arms over my chest.
He sighed in annoyance and pinched the bridge of his nose while screwing his eyes shut tight "Dylan, I'm so confused right now. I don't know what I want to do, I'm not sure I should even be here now...Hell, I'm not even sure we should be friends. But I want to be here and I defiantly want to be friends with you, if nothing else can come of us"
I went to say something but was interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut and the sound of my father slurring my name echoing around the empty house. I spun round and panicked, even in a drunken state he could climb those stairs faster than me. I turned back to Nathan and shoved him further into my room, I opened my wardrobe and gestured that he climb in.
"Is that your dad?' He whispered as he climbed in
I nodded once and pressed my index finger to my lips, requesting that Nathan be quiet. He nodded and I closed the door to the wardrobe, looking around the room for anything else. My eyes caught on the cigarette packet on my windowsill, I groaned and ran over to them and apologised to Nathan under my breath before throwing them out the window.
I was still stood with my back facing the door when my dad came in, I spun round and saw him in the light for the first time in months. I swallowed hard as I looked at his pale clammy skin, his sunken eyes and unkempt appearance. The stench of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke lingered behind him.
In his hand he held a glass of what I assumed to be whisky, he smiled at me and stumbled forward. Encasing me in his arms and with his free hand he stroked down the back of my hair "My sweet Dylan"
"Hi dad" I whispered
He chuckled and I felt him take a swing of the drink in his hand, he stepped away then and looked at me, a lopsided smile plastered on his face. He ran the back of his hand down the side of my face, tears brimmed his eyes. "She would be so proud of you"
"How's mom?" I asked in vain hope that'll I'll get a decent answer out of him
His face fell then, he stepped back, almost falling over and grabbing hold of the wardrobe that Nathan was camped in. I reached out instinctively and gasped automatically as I watched the drunken mess stumble his way around.
"She's never going to get better" He mumbled, his eyes searching the floor but not focused on any one thing "Never. Can't help her, can't do it"
He carried on mumbling incoherently to himself while he gripped the wardrobe to support himself. I walked towards him and took his shoulders as he slowly slumped to the floor, I knelt in front of him and took the glass from his hands.
"Dad? Look at me" I bent my head down to see his face
I reached out and moved a piece of his hair hanging over his face. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, it was as if he was seeing me for the first time in months. It wasn't impossible that this was the case. He took my arms and bent over so his head was in my lap, his rough hand holding mine as he sobbed onto my legs.
"She'll never get better, Dyls" He whispered "She's too far gone"
I knew what this meant, the doctors have been sending her sky high with morphine that without it she is only a mess of who she used to be, she is reliant on the drug to set her mind at rest. I ran my free hand over his head, a tear rolling onto my nose now
"It's okay dad. We'll be okay" I lied to him, knowing he wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning.
He nodded and pretty soon I heard the sound of soft snores coming from him. I didn't want to wake him, sleep was probably the only time he got any peace from the hell that he has to live each day.
I whispered for Nathan to come out, he stepped out the wardrobe slowly and quietly and looked over my dad laying on my lap. He looked at me with a mixed expression of sadness and concern, he knelt beside me and sighed deep.
"He never used to be like this" I whispered, still running my hand over his hair
Nathan put his hand on my shoulder "Dylan, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, you can't live like this forever"
I closed my eyes and sighed, I slipped my dads head off me and carefully laid him on the floor. I grabbed one of the cushions from my couch and carefully set it under his head. I stood up now, as did Nathan and we creeped silently out the room. I closed the door and rest my back against it closing my eyes.
"I just don't know what to do anymore" I accepted defeat and told him truthfully how I felt.
I looked up at Nathan to see him watching me carefully as I leaned against my door "Your life is shit, Dylan"
I rolled my eyes and began walking to the stairs "Jhee, thanks for that. I mean, I didn't know it already"
He followed me down the stairs and into the living room "Why don't you do something about it then?"
I went into the cupboard in the living room and pulled out two blankets, chucking them both at him I sighed "I don't know, I'm not ready for change"
I walked over to the biggest couch in the living room and sat down hard, putting my head in my hands. "I don't even feel like I used to, I used to to be so carefree...Now I'm just a girl who walks around town in the dead of night to go and see her dead sister"
I felt the couch dip beside me and an arm drape around my shoulders "Your not just a girl"
I was silent as I sat there, all my emotions bundling into one and causing my head to spin "I've lost everything, my sister, my mom and my dad too"
I heard him sigh and he pulled me closer to him, he held me tight as I fought against the tears that tried to fall, I was fed up of crying, I didn't want to be broken anymore.
Nathan didn't say anything else he just wrapped the blankets around us and laid me back on the sofa. He laid behind me and wrapped his arms around me, his forehead rest on the top of my back as we laid in the dark.
I was on the brink of falling asleep when I felt Nathan lay a soft kiss on my back and sigh before whispering "Your not just a girl to me...To me you're everything"
-
...
Well damn
Dylan is like"ffs you're so hot but like Josh is my forever and your my dead sisters boyfriend so like soz mate, I'm not ready but you can spoon me hey"
Nathan is like " Jesus I'm so in love with you, why the fuck don't you feel the same, I used to touch myself over you...But like wtf are you doing dating josh, don't he'll break your heart...Let me spoon you"
And I'm like "Fuck Nathan, you give me feels and just goals and hey, spoon me?!"