JUNE 2022 UPDATE: Go read "Lucy", a spinoff of the Masked SheWolf trilogy, now updating on Wattpad, and its "Behind the Scenes" companion book that includes character profiles and a complete recap of the trilogy, as told by the characters in interview format.
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"Last call, boarding to Paris," the voice in the intercom calls.
My heart is beating off the charts. I can't believe I'm doing this. Mary and I have been together for what feels like a lifetime. I've always considered her the light of my very existence. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that to end. Maybe that's why we've been fighting so much recently. I need to take that as a sign.
My duffel bag strung over my shoulder, I hand the flight attendant my ticket and boarding pass, then step into the hallway leading to the plane. My anticipation is growing with every moment. I didn't think I would be this nervous, but I was fine an hour ago, when I lied to my parents about staying on campus for the weekend to study.
Maybe it's the change that I'm scared about. It's a cheesy reason to be afraid, but it's true. We don't know what will happen to us in the future, but we somehow end up thinking of the worst possible scenario and start dreading it. The annoying 'what if' questions that just won't shut up are buzzing in my head. I try to calm them down by sleeping, but that's not so easy to do when your mind is on overdrive.
This is going to be a long flight.
Take-off provides a good distraction. I've always been fascinated by airplanes. I wanted to be a pilot before going for mechanical engineering. I know it seems like I've passed on a great opportunity for a lesser one, but if I can't handle a long distance relationship with my girlfriend in our current situation, how is being away allthe time any better?
And as long as I'm being honest, let's address the bigger problem that would ensue; where would that leave Dylan? If I go, the others will start wanting the same. There's no way I can do that to my only sister.
Suddenly, I feel like a hypocrite because of what I'm about to do. Mary is the one who taught me to accept Dylan for who she is, and I'm about to change everything for all of us, for good.
"She can't live like this forever," Marianna once told me. "She isn't ready yet, but one day, she's going to want to break out of that life, and when she does, you have to be there to support her. She will need you, all of you."
I didn't understand it at first, but eventually, it sunk in on its own. Maybe it's a long way down the road, but Dylan is going to find her true mate one day. Mom and Dad always knew that was a possibility. We've never lived close enough to another pack for us to have contact with other werewolves, and for the possibility that one of them is Dylan's mate.
Since our new neighbors moved in, that possibility became more real, and our parents have been more anxious than ever. If she finds a mate, that will be it, she won't have to keep her secret anymore. Mom and Dad are waiting for that day but at the same time dreading it, because it might mean that they will lose their little girl. Every parent's nightmare is when his or her child leaves them for good. I still don't know whether I'm going to speed up the process or not.
During the flight, I fidget in my seat a lot, until the lady next to me asks me to stay still. I watch a couple of movies to try and pass the time, but that's still not enough. I am relieved when I finally get some rest five hours after we've taken off. But it doesn't feel like I got a wink of sleep when I am shaken awake.
"Excusez-moi, monsieur, vous devez attachez votre ceinture, nous allons atterrir."
My French is not that great, but I understand that the attendant is telling me that we're about to land. I fasten my seatbelt and go back to sleep. There's a good half an hour or so until we're allowed to move, and I can take advantage of that. I need to be fully awake by the time I get to Mary's apartment.
I get a taxi. I give the driver the address and start rehearsing my speech in my mind. I must have repeated it at least five times, but after I'm dropped off in front of her apartment door, I can't remember a single word.
Her roommate Elise answers the door. She recognizes me, but she doesn't acknowledge me and instead immediately calls for Marianna, no doubt calling me the worst names in French. Elise never really liked me. Normally, I would be trying to get along with her for Mary's sake, but I'm not in the mood right now.
Seconds later, Marianna is at the door, dressed in the pink pajamas I got her for her birthday. Unlike Elise, who rolls her eyes and goes back inside, Mary is shocked to see me there; in a good way, of course. We could be having the worst fight we've ever had, but we would still be happy to see each other.
"Mason!" She jumps into my arms, and I wrap her in a close embrace, taking in her familiar scent that I've missed. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
I can't drop the bomb immediately after getting here. I need to appreciate her presence first, because I don't know if she's going to want to do that in a few minutes. "I missed you so much," I whisper, nuzzling my head against her neck.
She tilts her head up and kisses me, and for a while, I stop worrying about what's going to happen and just enjoy the moment with her. Somehow, we end up pressed up against the door, and I can't stop kissing her. I'm starting to get worked up in a different way though, so I need to tell her now before we end up in her bed.
"We need to talk," I whisper roughly, my mouth against hers.
"About what?" Her voice sounds dazed.
"Get dressed, and meet me downstairs," I tell her.
I kiss her one last time before I pull away. She frowns at me, her eyes burning with want, before she blinks a couple of times and goes to her room.
As I wait for her downstairs, I move around restlessly, constantly rubbing my hands together. This is my nervous habit, and I can't contain it at a time like this. Minutes later, she walks out in jeans, a jacket and sneakers. Even in those, she is still very beautiful.
The look on her face has been replaced by a wary one. "What is going on Mason?" she asks.
"I know what it would take for us to move in together," I assure her. "I do know that."
"I know you do," she says. "But until you ask, I told you I am not having this conversation."
"I am asking," I blurt out.
Marianna stiffens. "What?"
"I am asking you to marry me," I elaborate.
She blinks, staring at me blankly. "No," she says.
My spirits are entirely crushed. "No?" I repeat, dumbstruck. "Is that your answer?"
She shakes her head. "No, you're not asking me," she specifies. "Not really. You don't mean it. This is a desperate attempt to get me to move to America."
Is that what she thinks?!
"It's not," I vehemently try to persuade her. "I really mean it. Marianna, I want to be with you, no matter where we are. If you don't want to move to America, I'm prepared to live right here, in this tiny apartment with your roommate who hates me. All I ask is that you let me call you my wife."
She looks at me uncertainly. "If you really mean it, why did you always avoid the subject?"
"Because I was scared," I admit. "I was torn between choosing you or my family, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave them behind. I'm still not."
She sighs. "Mason, I would have to leave my family behind too," she points out, "but I was prepared to do that to be with you."
"It's different for me," I remind her, "and you know that. There is something very important at stake that people don't normally have to consider in this situation. One person gone from the house, that's one less person to protect my sister. Marrying you would have made it final, because I can't keep living with them when I'm trying to build a life with you, and I was too afraid of what might happen to Dylan."
A moment of silence passes. "And now?" she asks, her voice starting to quiver.
My eyes look down in shame. This is the hard part, the part that could make or break our relationship, because Marianna cares about Dylan too, and she might not forgive me for deciding to abandon her.
"Now... I think it's time for her to start taking care of herself," I confess. "We can't protect her forever... and I can't put my life on hold forever."
I look up at her again, and I can't decide what to make of the tears beginning to brim in her eyes. "I don't care where we go, as long as I'm with you. So I'm going to ask you one more time... and I won't bother you with it again. Marianna Bleue, will you please marry me?"
One tear falls and lands on her cheek. I want to hug her, hold her hand, or do whatever it takes to make her smile again. But I need to know what she wants first. If she doesn't want me, I lose the right to even touch her again.
"It's not because you thought we're too young?" she finally speaks, on the verge of crying. "Or because you're not ready or... because I'm older than you?"
I am so surprised by her assumptions that I forget for a moment what we're doing here, and all I can think about is making it clear how I feel about her. She's always so smart and self-assured; I forget sometimes that she has her own insecurities. I dare take a few tentative steps toward her until we're standing within touching distance.
"Of course not," I strongly assure her. "You and I, we're not some teenagers playing at being in love. We have been ready for this since the moment we knew how we felt about each other. And why does it matter that you happened to be born a couple years before me? You'll still be too good for me anyway."
A sob escapes her lips at the same time that she smiles, and her tears continue to fall freely on her face. "You really want to marry me?"
I smile back, hope flourishing deep within me. "I really want to marry you."
Marianna zealously nods her head throwing her arms around my neck. "Yes."