the vote was tied between choices II and III so I decided to combine both prompts! Thank you so much for sticking around and I hope you enjoy the chapter! I can't believe it's been a year since I posted the first chapter of this fanfic, I'm so glad it's received so much love!
The cool December breeze rustles gently through Hoseok's soft hair, playing with the male's black locks as he stands at the base of a large, decorated headstone. His cheeks were painted a rosy pink from the chilled air but his heart felt warm and at ease. Hoseok reads the delicate inscription upon the speckled granite even though he had it engraved in his brain like a tattoo.
Kim Taehyung and (Y/full/n),
Let them forever be at peace, for they couldn't win at their dangerous game of love.
1995—2018 | 1997—2018
The male sighs. It's been two years— a very hard two years at that. However, Hoseok has finally defeated the dark clouds of grief that once overshadowed him; willing to accept that what happened happened, and he cannot change fate. After innumerable sleepless nights, nearly failing out of school, weekly therapy visits, and an almost fatal overdose, Hoseok is finally allowing himself to move on. But, dealing with the loss of his best friend has proven to be the most difficult obstacle he has ever come across in his life.
His fingers grip tighter around the bouquet of white roses in his left hand. The decorative plastic wrap crinkles with the pressure. Hoseok kneels down and places it at the base of the headstone, the knee of his jeans becoming mottled with dirt.
His lips part and break the lonely silence around him, "I miss you, (Y/n). I don't know what happens after death but I hope that whatever it is, it's treating you well. It's been a few months since I last stopped by, huh? I'm sorry about that. I was . . . Dealing with everything." He hesitates. "I wish you were here. Yoongi is doing well, I asked him to stay in the car so I could do this by myself though."
Hoseok breaks his speech to laugh lowly, "Yoongi deserves an award for putting up with me for so long." He notes. "Anyways, I'm finally going to try to let go of everything, (Y/n). I can't live my life in constant pain anymore, and I know deep down that you'd want me to stay happy and stop dwelling on the past. But don't worry, I won't forget you. You'll always be one of the most important chapters of my life."
A stray tear dashes down Hoseok's cheek and his cold fingers fumble to brush it away. Then he smiles sadly, patting the wide headstone as if ruffling (Y/n)'s hair just like he used to as he begins to stand.
With a final exhale of breath, Hoseok turns away, walking back up the path of the cemetery to the parking lot where Yoongi waited in their car.
As he entered and sat upon the leather seats, Yoongi's hand comes up to grasp his own on the console immediately. His thumb rubs soothing circles on Hoseok's knuckles and his soft eyes gaze into his face, peering at the younger's expression for any sign of what he was feeling. Usually after visiting the cemetery, Hoseok would sit back in the passenger seat of the car and sob the whole ride home, clutching at himself as Yoongi drove and attempted (unsuccessfully) to calm him down. Yoongi lets out a heavy breath that he wasn't even aware he was holding when he sees that Hoseok was in fact, not crying. Instead, a look of peace and relief radiates from his simple expression and though his amber-brown eyes were red, he was not in tears. It was almost like he was on autopilot.
"You okay?" Yoongi asks hesitantly, voice gentle.
Hoseok nods, "I'm okay." He whispers back, leaning his head on the cold window, eyes shut in thought.
Yoongi presses a brief kiss to the younger's cheek and puts the car into gear, reversing out of the narrow parking spot slowly.
"You ready for dinner? Jimin and Jungkook texted, they're already at the restaurant but they told us to take our time." The elder says.
'Mm, it'll be nice to see them again," Hoseok replies, then chuckles dryly. "Especially since this time I won't be in a hospital with tubes sticking out of all of my orifices."
Yoongi's brows furrow, "Don't joke about that." He scolds, though his tone still calm. "You really scared the shit out of me when that happened, you know."
"I know, I'm sorry."
Yoongi sighs, "I'm just glad you're okay now. I love you— and I'm really proud of you too."
"I love you too, Yoongs." Hoseok smiles brightly, his hand gripping tighter at Yoongi's free one.
The rest of the ride is draped in silence— a comforting silence however. Hoseok watches the buildings whiz pass the window and the slow dreary steps of pedestrians on the sidewalks as they fight the biting cold, he feels the faint touch of Yoongi's thumb brushing his knuckles. He lets his mind wander to visions of ice cold hands and cigarette smoke, mansions and Busan snowstorms, the leather seats of a police car and suddenly he's fallen too deep. Too many images race through his mind, all too overwhelming and he forces himself to breathe.
1, 2, 3, breathe, 3, 2, 1 . . .
Dead bodies on stretchers, one far too familiar yet vandalized by death and left nearly unrecognizable, whipping wind, black, cold eyes frozen in time, snowflakes sitting upon eyelashes, blue veins strained against pale skin—
"Hoseok," Yoongi says, shaking the male's shoulder gingerly.
The younger's eyes peel back, his heart rate returns to normal, Yoongi leans over the console and wraps his arms around Hoseok, pulling him from his nightmare of memories. His hand rubs soothing circles into Hoseok's back and his rosy lips press a kiss to the crook of his neck.
"We're here. You sure you're alright?"
Hoseok takes a shaking breath, "I'm alright." He confirms.
The two get out of the car and Yoongi wraps an arm loosely around his boyfriend's waist, entering the restaurant and asking for the table reserved under Jimin's name. The waitress gestures for them to follow with a wave of her hand and leads the couple through the maze of dining tables and customers. Her long black hair swings back and forth like a pendulum, Yoongi finding himself hypnotized by the movement.
Jimin, silver hair soft and pushed back from his face, waves and smiles wistfully when he sees the couple arriving at their table. His other arm is wrapped loosely around Jungkook's shoulder, the younger nodding his head in acknowledgment.
Yoongi wonders how they've been, after all, it was Jimin's home that Taehyung and (Y/n) had spent most of their time in. He knows Jimin was torn at the tragic death of his childhood friend and even the young girl as well, but it seems it didn't take him too long to move on. After the funeral, he and Jimin had begun talking again after many years of Yoongi hiding from anything that connected him to Taehyung. It was, in a way, relieving. To not have to hide so much. However, the secret would forever be buried as Yoongi would, under no circumstances, risk Hoseok finding out that he knew about Taehyung all along.
That said, not being able to confide in his boyfriend at a dark point in his life was difficult. Taehyung was like his brother, they grew up together, they got in trouble and went on adventures together and struggled through the absolute worst with each other. And now he's gone. Of course that would take some time to get over. But, it was different for him. Yoongi already went through Taehyung's 'loss', but it was much earlier. He lost Taehyung the night he gave the younger his car keys and a brand new last name, believing he'd never see him again.
"Hi, Yoongi," Jimin speaks, his voice sweet and harmonious, "Hello, Hoseok. Are Seokjin and Namjoon going to be joining us tonight as well?"
Jimin watches, observing Hoseok's expression and wishing he could tell exactly what the male was thinking. He had to admit, he had grown fond of (Y/n)'s best friend in the last two years and he felt horrible to see him in such a distraught state. However, Jimin was pleased to see that Hoseok looked much better than he had a couple of months ago; his cheeks were no longer hollow but rosy and full, his eyes not vacant and sunken in, but instead more alive despite the vaguely sad glances he gave. His skin had returned to its natural glow and his clothes weren't pooling around a body far too thin. Jimin couldn't quite explain it, but he just looked refreshed.
Hoseok smiles at him — and it isn't forced —and his lips part to speak, "Hey, they're coming, yeah. Probably be here in ten minutes or so." He says before sitting beside Jungkook.
Jimin briefly glances at Yoongi whilst Hoseok is occupied, "He's okay?" The younger mouths to him, head jerking slightly towards the other male.
Yoongi nods with somewhat of a proud smile before sitting down too.
"How've you been, hyung?" Jungkook asks, "Still going to therapy?"
The elder shakes his head, "I'm getting better, I go less frequently now. And it's all been really helpful having you guys looking out for me, so thank you." He replies genuinely.
"That's good, hyung. We're all proud of you."
Jimin watches Yoongi wrap an arm around Hoseok, pulling the younger into his side and nuzzling his nose into Hoseok's soft brown hair, a pleasant expression painted delicately across his face.
Jimin sighs, his mind drifting off to memories he was once fond of but now left a bitter taste in his mouth. It was all too vivid; a blue morning, frost creeping up the large windows of the mansion, the sun just barely peeking out from the horizon, it was like Jimin was no longer in the loud restaurant anymore but back home.
"Taehyung, stop." (Y/n) giggles, trying and failing to be stern, "that tickles." She complains as the said male trails soft kisses down her neck and across her shoulder. a candle illuminated the dim room, casting an ethereal glow on the couple.
She sat on Taehyung's lap in the wide plush armchair, her legs straddling his hips. A soft navy blue blanket draped around their shoulders to shield them from the cold drafts in the large room. Jimin wasn't intentionally spying on them, but he had happened to catch sight of their figures in the lounge on his way to the kitchen. The sight was sweet— their limbs tangled together, pearly smiles, Taehyung's unruly bed head, their lips pressing against each other's skin and soft breathy laughter filling the atmosphere.
Jimin grinned to himself as he looked upon their almost-fairytale-like scene, Taehyung planting another kiss on (Y/n)'s nose.
"You're beautiful." He whispered.
(Y/n) hummed shyly, "thank you, love." She had responded, her hands reaching up to cup the male's face, her thumbs brushing his cheekbones. She kisses him gently, eyes fluttering closed so her eyelashes brushed Taehyung's golden skin, lips imprinting on his.
Jimin had turned away then, leaving the two love-birds to their activities with a lingering thought.
Is (Y/n) really in love with Taehyung? It sure seems like it, but is it all an illusion?
Did that even matter?
"Jimin? You in there?" Yoongi asked, shaking the other back into reality.
Ahh, Yoongi. Always the one to ground people, it seemed.
Jimin shoots a reassuring smile before his eyes focus on the newest addition to the table.
"Seokjin! Namjoon! It's so nice to see you again, how was the honeymoon?" Hoseok greets the couple.
"It was amazing, Paris is truly beautiful." Seokjin replies, "How is everyone?"
Yoongi was starting to dislike that phrase, how are you? No one ever answered it truthfully and he'd heard it far too many times today.
And yet nonetheless, he, and everyone also at the table respond with the same chorus of, "I'm fine." even though the majority of them were in fact, not too fine at all. Not today at least.
But that's how it was. Especially each year when December came around and the air was filled with winter chill and cold, dead memories.
"I heard you were thinking of adopting, that's amazing, I'm sure you'll be great parents." Jungkook smiles.
Namjoon glances over at his husband, eyes turning to crescents as he grins, "yeah we are, we aren't too sure if we are completely ready for it, though. We might wait another year or so."
"That's good, take your time. It's better to be sure of things than to just wing it." Jimin adds.
xxx
By the end of dinner, Hoseok finds himself absolutely exhausted and his stomach so full he felt he would burst.
It was nice, though. It had become a tradition that the group meet on the date of (Y/n) and Taehyung's passing, and to be quite honest, it kept all of them grounded. It was hard to accept something so tragic and out of the norm, and Hoseok knew that if he hadn't had Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon, and Jimin and Jungkook— he wouldn't have made it this far. They didn't need to talk about what happened like a group therapy session, just knowing that they had all gone through it the same even though not exactly together at the time was enough to comfort Hoseok (and he was sure everyone else too).
Hoseok hugs everyone in the parking lot, lingering on for more seconds than really necessary, but he didn't care.
As he hugged Jimin, the shorter held on to him tight and didn't let go, "I didn't know (Y/n) as well as you did, but I know for sure that she would be so proud of you for moving on. Remember, I'm just a phone call away." He said.
It was simple, but it meant a lot to Hoseok.
"Okay, thank you, Jimin. And thank you for dinner, I'm sure I'll see you again soon."
After going about the circle to receive hugs from everyone else, he gets in the passenger seat beside Yoongi, a long tired sigh escaping his lips.
"It's been a long day."
"It has," Yoongi agrees. "You did well. Let's head home and we can get to bed, alright?"
Hoseok hums, leaning his head back with his eyes closed.
"I love you, Yoongi." Hoseok says.
He almost hears the elder smile.
"I love you too."
I love you too, (Y/n). Wherever you are."
yikes I can't tell you how sorry I am for how late this update was—
it's also extremely unedited
I hope this satisfied you guys, lol, I did intentionally put a lot of emphasis on Hoseok's emotional state and recovery, and btw that section in italics is Jimin's flashback in case that wasn't clear. I might come back and edit some of this later.
what did ya think?
4/19/19