Heyy Guysss!!!!!!!! :)
It's finally the weekend and it feels amazing!!!
I just want to apologize for that last chapter being so crummy and short. I was on a strict time limit, and that's what I came up with in about an hour, so please forgive me. I don't want that to become a habit of mine, so I'll try not to do that to myself in the future.
For those of you who have read and kept up with me from the begining, Thank You so very much!! I probably wouldn't be doing this is if it wasn't for you guys, so thank you so much!!! You are really appreciated!!! :) Over 700 reads?! You guys are truly outstanding and it makes me feel good to see that.
Okay, enough of my rambling. Time for the story!!!!
Annnnnnnnd, song for this chapter is one of my favorites: Fall by Justin Bieber
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The only reason I moved was because my stomach was growling, and this thin shirt wasn't keeping me very warm. It felt like I had slept for days, but it had only been a couple hours, surprisingly.
I snacked on some chips while absently staring out the window, wondering how on earth my life became so hectic over the last couple weeks. Oh yeah, I started dating Taylor Lautner.
But I never imagined things to ever be this way. I never thought about Nicky being so furious with me to the point of tears, I never thought this secret would drive a wedge between us possibly forever. The worst pain imaginable seared theough me at that moment, striking me to the core. I doubled over, trying to catch my breath. I've never had to think about a life without Nicky, but the mere possibility of it is unbearable.
Ever since the third grade, I'd never pictured Nicky anywhere away from me. Even then, I'd known she'd always be in my life as my best friend. We tell each other everything, we know each other inside and out, we think the same, we wear the same size (even thought her breasts are a little bigger than mine), we even wear the same size shoe! Taking Nicky out of my life would be like taking one of my lungs, or one of my kidneys; I simply wouldn't be able to go on without her.
I remember our freshman year in high school, and our little altercation with Jonah Patterson. We'd Everything was going perfectly all the way up to the spring dance, when Jonah asked Nicky instead of me. I was shocked because Jonah and I had become close over those short few months of my entire freshman year. We had four classes together and sat by each other in every one. We even ate lunch together most days because Nicky was in a different lunch period that year. Here I was, thinking that everything would be perfect and Jonah would ask me to the spring dance because we made each other laugh, we talked all the time, and we actually liked each other. Well, at least I thought we did...
It all changed when Jonah and I were going to the movies the weekend before the dance. I felt bad because I forgot about making plans with Nicky before Jonah asked me to go, so I just brought her with me, introducing the two for the first time ever. Why I did that, I'll never know, but I knew it was over then. When Jonah first saw her, he looked at her in a way that he never looked at me. In the theater he sat next to her on the other side of me and they pretty much talked through the whole thing. I didn't really watch the movie either because I was seething with envy.
Jonah asked Nicky to the dance and I told her it was okay while I stayed home, shoving my face with ice cream to the point where I threw it back up.
They started dating the night of the dance, then she dumped him a week later because a junior asked her out. But this was typical for Nicky, as to how she was never without a boyfriend pretty much all her life. But the night she met Jonah, he just happened to look extra-attractive that night, and she just happened to be single and her usual, flirty, spontaneous self. I couldn't hate her for that, though. It's not like it was her fault. Yeah, it may not have been Nicky's fault that she was such a guy magnet, but I hadn't spoken to Jonah since the last day of freshman year, leaving him and my broken heart behind.
That summer, Nicky and I made a pact: that we'd never let a guy come between us ever again. And after that, nothing like that ever happened again, because I'd never put myself in that position. I was scared to be in a relationship because my best friend was Nicole Walsh.
And now that I look back on things and our past, I realize that the same problem could very well be happeneing again. I'm letting a guy come between us, breaking the pact.
I hate that she's mad at me, but I really can't be mad at her because she didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who lied to her about my first boyfriend. She was the one who had been preparing me for that day. It's funny because when I first met Taylor, all those little pep-talks and training Nicky gave me went out the window. I did this on my own, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
My phone cut through my thoughts and I realized that I finished off this bag of chips. Wiping my mouth, I answered the phone with a sluggish voice, "Hello?"
"Hey, Rachel. Sorry I missed your call," Taylor said into the phone. His voice was like magic, wiping away all my bad and complicated thoughts. I stood there with my eyes closed, reveling in the sound of it.
"It's okay."
"Alright," he said. Then with a much more strained voice, "we need to talk."
Time meant nothing to me anymore. I was sure this was the end of it altogether. Maybe I'd just been dreaming this whole time and was about to wake up from it, because I'd had a week to be Taylor Lautner's girlfriend. And now my time was unfortunately up.
"About what?" I sounded more vulnerable than I wanted to.
"I'll tell you when I get there," he said. "Give me twenty minutes."
And then the line went dead.
Well, I'd been crying for a few hours now, so I figured my eyes ran dry when I couldn't produce any more tears. I felt numb as I ran into the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my face somewhat. I was hoping the red in my eyes would go away by the time he got here. I kept a cold towel over my eyes and laid down on the sofa, stretching out. My back felt funny after laying on the floor.
All too soon, there was a brief tap at the door. I sprung up, giving myself a headrush, and answered the door, preparing to be dumped. How can anybody prepare to be dumped?
His eyes widened when he saw me, and mine did, too. I took in his dishelved hair and rumpled shirt. His eyes had the slightest touch of red around the warm brown that didn't look so warm at this moment.
"Rachel," he breathed, immediately rushing over and wrapping his arms around me. I sighed into his chest, enveloped in his warmth. Although I was slighly confused because this isn't what people did when they were about to break up, right? Either way, I wouldn't know.
I pulled back, just enough to look at his face, to try to decipher his thoughts at this moment. His grip on me never loosened as he looked down at me. His sincerity was enough to stun me. He gently pressed my head back to his chest and continued to hold me. I felt his heartbeat against my cheek, and found that it was exactly matched to mine. I pulled away at once, terified. I was about to tell him our heartbeats matched, but I'm sure they didn't now because mine just climbed up a few notches.
"What's wrong?" he says, coming closer again. I look down and try to swallow the lump in my throat.
"What's going on?" I ask quietly, not meeting his eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you. And I know you were crying on the phone. I just want to talk."
I kept my distance and took a seat in the chair nearest me, pulling my knees up to my chest and not meeting his eyes.
"What's wrong, Rachel? Tell me."
"Aren't you breaking up with me?" I asked. He dropped his jaw and I swear he stopped breathing when I said, "if you're going to do it, please do it now," I told him. My voice harder. I should've never gotten into this. Especially by myself.
"Rachel," he whispered in a broken voice, "no."
"What?"
"I'm not breaking up with you. That's the opposite of why I came here," he says, crossing the distance to stand in front of me. He bent down so we were at eye level. "I wanted to see you and make sure you were alright. After you called me, you didn't hang up and I got a voicemail. I heard you crying," he says, shaking his head. "Then when I called you back you sounded so sad and hurt, I had to see that you were okay."
He leaned over and took my hands in his, rubbing the cold away and replacing it with warmth. "Taylor," I said as he caught a tear that fell from my eye.
"Shh, don't cry," he said soothingly. We stood up together and he hugged me softly, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "Everything's alright, just tell me why you were crying."
We walked over and sat on the sofa next to each other. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled up closer to him, catching the warmth that radiated off his body. He rubbed up and down on my arm that wasn't pressed against his side.
"The party was horrible. I felt like crying the whole time becasue everything's just falling apart," I mumbled, on the verge of tears again.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because not all the people I care about were there. Derek and Kendra didn't come, you didn't come," I said, growing quiet.
"I wanted to," he said softly.
"I haven't told anyone about us yet," I admitted. He stopped rubbing and looked down at me, his body went stiff against mine.
"I have."
"You have?!"
"Yes. Why, did you not want me to?"
"No it's not that, I just...thought you wanted to keep this private. Just between you and me."
"Why would I want that? I want everyone to know who you are, and how much you mean to me," he says. He started rubbing my arm again, but it wasn't as smooth as before.
"Who have you told?" I asked after a while.
"My family and a few close friends. Those guys at the bowling alley all know. They claimed they knew it would happen sooner or later," he chuckled lightly. I blushed slightly. "Do you not want people to know about us?"
"That's what I thought you wanted."
"No," he gasped.
"It's been really hard because my best friend, Nicky...she saw us kissing in your car earlier and got really pissed at me because I haven't told her about you. I haven't told anybody because we haven't really talked about this."
A look of understanding crossed his face while he stopped rubbing again. "You didn't want the media to find out," he states and I shake my head slightly. "I'm sorry, I should've been more careful, and you are absolutely right. We shouldn't tell the world about us yet."
"Okay," I say with a small smile. He squeezes me and goes back to rubbing.
"I'm not going to make you experience something you don't have to."
"Thank you," I tell him. "And, I feel like Nicky couldn't keep a secret this big, so that's why I really haven't told her yet."
"You can't hide it forever, you know," he says with a laugh. "When do you plan on telling her?"
"When the time's right."
"Oh you mean never?!" he asks sarcastically. I burst out laughing and snort, a blush blazing my cheeks. This only makes him laugh harder. He has to take his arms from around me to clutch his sides and this of course doesn't make my blush go away.
"Stop it," I whine, but I can't help from smiling.
"Come here," he sobers up after a while and reaches over for me so that we are cuddling again. "You're so cute," he mumbles after kissing the side of my head. Instead of blushing, I smile because Taylor Lautner just called me cute.
How ironic.
"What about your parents?" he asks.
"What about them?"
"Are you going to tell them?"
"I wasn't planning on it anytime soon. They are really torn up over Kendra's pregnancy. I don't think they'd be able to handle this. At least not right now. They were like walking zombies at the party. They acted like they were all happy and stuff, but I know when my parents are faking something. I hated that it had to be that way."
"Yeah, you're right. I guess you should wait for that, then. What about Derek?"
"Eh, Derek doesn't need to know about this right now. He can wait a while longer..."
"Not too long, okay?"
"Okay, I promise," I say. Then, before I know it, we have our pinky fingers twined together. I laugh as we settle back into each other's embraces and end up watching a movie. Well, the movie was watching us as we talked and laughed together.
I end up falling asleep in his arms after a while, not aware of anything going on around me, only that I was with Taylor and he wanted me. This seemed to be the only thing that mattered to me nowadays.
Suddenly, I was being lifted. Two strong arms were holding me to a muscular chest, and this felt really familiar. I remember when I was about to fall in the bowling alley when I was trying to change that lightbulb. I also remeber how, just in time, these same two arms came in and saved from that, saved me from hurting myself. I shuddered with this realization, making Taylor hold me closer to his body.
He carried me to my bedroom where the moonlight was streaming in through the holes in the curtains in a dreamlike way, which only made me sleepier.
I was awake enough to realize that Taylor pulled back the blanket and tucked it around my body tightly. When he was done with that, he pressed his lips against my forehead briefly, then they were gone.
"Don't go," I whispered, my words were slurred with sleep. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with an amused smile.
"Alright," he says. And with that, he slips off his shoes and climbs in bed next to me, wrapping up in the blanket and keeping me warm.
"Thank you," I say against his chest as his arms wrap around me, holding me to him. That was all I could think about before I could fully fall asleep. But I also thought about something else.
I'm extremely good at keeping secrets, anybody that knows me could tell you that. I know of one person who may be just as good as me at it, if not even better. Even if this person were to slip up, they technically couldn't because they owe me for something that no payment could come in equal with.
It would be so much easier to be in a relationship with some assitance from any other person rather than none, I rationalize. All this can be solved with just one simple conversation.
I wonder why Taylor can trust all these people with our relationship, but I can't find one capable of shaing it with. Well, I have found one person. And I was going to drop the bomb on them tomorrow morning.
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Another cliffhanger!!!!!!! Dont hate me!! :)
But who do you think the person is??? Hmmmmmmmmm
Anyways, I still have 13 fans, and the 15th person gets a chapter dedicated to them, so fan me!!
Next chapter should be up by wednesday, but I don't know how much homework I'll have that night, so don't be too sad if I don't upload until Saturday!!!!
Well, I think that's it!!!
Love you guys!!