Jungkook p.o.v
"Where is he?" I murmur between cries. My eyes hurt and my throat is aching. I don't remember how long I've been crying for but I know it's been long enough.
I can't put a stop to it. No matter how much I keep weeping my eyes off it just isn't fixing it, the pain isn't going away. Tears don't even help anymore to heal the pain.
Pain is all I feel lately. Pain that turns slowly into numbness but the process is what damages me.
A part I can't get used to.
I wish I didn't remember who I am or who I was.
"Why did he leave me?" I ask myself, glance getting lost in the darkness of the room "Now I'm alone again. Alone with myself and nobody wants me"
As I keep letting those negative thoughts run my mind I let myself fall free in the couch, lifting my knees up to my chest and hugging my legs as if they were the only thing that I have left. I close my eyes, letting the pain fade away into a long deep nothing.
•▪•
The next thing I see when I wake up are those sharp blue eyes studying my face once again, trying to figure me out as a baby tries to build a puzzle without having all the pieces.
"What is wrong with you?!" He screams, getting up and looking at me with anger "I thought you were dead, asshole!"
I want to answer. I want to get up and scream at him for leaving me without an explanation.
He knows I can't be alone,
he knows how loneliness scares me.
But he doesn't care.
And I don't have the energy to stand up to him and have an argument as so many times before. I just want to stay in this couch and forget about everything and everyone. I want him to hug me and love me as he used to, but not anymore.
"What is this again, Jungkook?" he asks and those eyes full of disgust keep scanning me "I just checked the drawer and all the medication is gone? I thought you were dead! Are you doing this for attention? Do you want me to rot with you in here?"
It isn't my intention to cry, he hates when I do it, but it happens anyways. I'm tired of him screaming at me and saying all those mean words that I just don't want to hear at the moment. Maybe because of the truth they hold.
I hate crying in front of him because then he has another reason to hate on me.
"Are you serious, Jungkook?" He firmly grabs me by the arm and forcefully makes me stand up. It hurts, but I can manage it "if you keep crying I will leave again. And this time I won't come back. I swear"
It feels like a punch. It feels worse than the bruising grip he has on me. It feels like dying but at this point dying would feel great.
I don't want him to leave and I wish he didn't hate me. I want him, I love him .
I need him to stay.
So I hold my breath, I suck my tears away and I get on my knees right in front of him. I caress his legs and I look at him in the eyes whispering a muted "Please", and I hold my breath, painfully, expecting him to have mercy on me.
When he softenes his frivolous eyes again for a while I know he knows he has fallen for me again.
For how long? There's no answer.
But for today he'll love me again.
He'll take care of me.
That's all that matters now.
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Note: this is not Tae !!! (Just in case)