Clarke's POV
It was our first week back to school after the trip. But I'm excited because after four weeks is christmas break. I got ready for school, not knowing whether to tell Octavia or Raven what happened during the last night of the trip.
I'm scared people judge me, but I don't want Lexa to think I'm ashamed of her. And if I told Bellamy, he would be so hurt. And what do I tell my mom?
I put on some jeans while I thought about it some more. I walked towards school, and saw Lexa waiting for me at the door, not Bellamy.
An instant smile formed on my face as I neared her. "You're here early for once," I said. "Only for you," she replied and took my hand.
Oh no, now the whole school would know, too. I pulled my hand from hers and she looked back, confused.
"Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded in reply and pushed forward. She showed a faint hurt look. I felt bad, but I wasn't ready yet.
We talked for a while and agreed to meet for lunch. I couldn't wait. I entered class alone to see Octavia and Raven perk their heads up from their phones.
They waved me over to them and I set my bag down. "Hey," I said. I wanted to tell them. They eyed me suspiciously.
"WHO IS IT?" They both yelled, drawing attention towards us. "SHUSHHH," I whispered back harshly. They nodded but signaled me to explain. Here it goes.
"I think I like girls, too," I whispered, making sure no one heard me. They held their mouths open. Great.
"Who?" They said in unison. I chuckled, and was about to continue explaining but the first bell rang. I signaled with my hands that I will tell them later. They nodded in reply, rolling their eyes.
I took my seat and looked over to them, to see them whiserping. I hope they aren't making a list of girls, I am already uncomfortable with myself enough.
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Lexa's POV
Lunch couldn't come sooner, I sat patiently waiting for the bell to ring. After a few minutes it finally rang and I bolted up and ran for the cafetaria.
I walked inside and took a seat, being the first one there. I waited for Clarke, then my eyes lit up as I saw her walking in the room. It felt like it was just her.
I saw someone walking behind her, two people actually. Nooo. Octavia and Raven followed behind her, circling her. I need to ask her about that later.
She waved to me and their faces nodded in understanding. I am so confused. She took her seat infront of me and gave me a small smile.
"Okay, what was that about?" I gave a small laugh. She shook her head chuckling. I was serious though.
I continued to ask her and she finally broke and started to explain. She looked up with a glum face.
"Okay so I never felt this way about a girl, as you know. And being with you is so new for me, and I'm scared for others to know," she explained. It hurt me a lot to hear that, but I understood what she meant.
I nodded and waited for her to finish. She went on about how she wants to take things slow and not show it public just yet. Was she ashamed of me?
I want to hug her or kiss her at school whenever I wanted to, but now I can't. I felt selfish but I wanted her to be mine and no one else's.
We ate our lunch laughing and talking for another twenty minutes then the bell rang, it was time for class. I was about to kiss her goodbye but I remembered so I just waved her off.
She looked hurt when I did that but right now I didn't care. She just broke my heart but atleast she told me the truth.
I lied to her, too... I never told her about Costia, but I will when I'm ready. I really liked Clarke, I just hope she felt the same way.
It was the end of the day and I walked to my car without waiting for Clarke, I need to clear my mind. I heard her call my name but I kept pushing forward.
I got into my car and locked the doors.
She got to my car as I drove off, seeing her throw up her hands in defeat. I wanted to ask her out today, but she is just going to break my heart like Costia did.
Costia was too ashamed of me, in ways. She said she loved me but I fell for her lies. She left me out of nowhere, leaving me in tears. She said she wish she hadn't dated me and her family was ashamed of her and myself, so she dumped me on the spot and left me, crying.
If Clarke leaves me too I'll get destroyed. Love weakens me. Love no one, no one can hurt you...