#21
"I'm leaving!" Phil snapped in reply, stunning us all into silence once more.
"What - what do you mean?" Mrs Lester replied quickly, sniffling and wiping her nose.
I could feel her regret as it churned inside her stomach as anxiety churned in mine. This was a big mistake, I never should have agreed with Phil to come home with him.
"Phil calm down, you're not thinking properly because you're angry," I said quickly.
"No Dan! I know exactly what I'm saying! I'm sick of this toxic environment!" Phil snapped, his hand which was holding mine letting go as he marched up to his room.
My eyes turned to his parents, Mrs Lester's eyes looked like they were staring straight through me, like I was nothing. Of course, I was the reason this had happened, because of me her son wants to move out. My whole body shook as my feet hesitated to move so I could run after my frustrated boyfriend. I glanced to Mr Lester before turning on my heel and taking control of my anxiety. I ran out of the living room and bounded up the stairs to Phil, I opened his bedroom door to see him sat on his bed with his head in his hands.
"Phil..." I said softly, sitting beside him after I closed his bedroom door.
Phil shook his head harshly and stood up, his fringe fell over his eyes. He looked rather at war with himself.
"Dan, I... I know this will be a lot to ask but... could I stay with you for a while? I mean it's more or less up to your parents but... I didn't think this out at all..." He rambled, his fingers brushed his fringe back so his light blue eyes were visible again.
His fingers tensed in his hair, almost as if he was pulling it. I stood up and removed Phil's hand from his hair slowly and set it down beside him gently.
"Phil... Of course I'll let you stay yeah?" I told him earnestly.
"Really?!" His eyes sparkled and I nodded in reply.
His arms wrapped around me, squeezed me tightly and I giggled before telling him I couldn't breathe because he was squeezing so tightly.
"Can you help me pack some clothes? What should I take?" Phil asked. "I mean, what do I need? Oh god."
I smiled.
"Phil don't panic, you will definitely need to take clothes but other than that what do you want to take?"
"Well my laptop and I'll need to take my school stuff right? And I'll need my electronic chargers won't I?"
"That's right, so that's what we'll pack," I said crossing my arms.
"Okay I'll get my stuff together and find a suitcase, can you empty my drawers?"
"Sure thing."
Phil opened his wardrobe and pulled out a suitcase, planting it on the floor as I bent down to open his drawers. I pulled out his many black jeans, folding them and placing them in a secure pile beside me. Phil took the pile and grinned, then placing them in his suitcase.
"Are your shirts hung up?"
"Yeah."
I stood up, the tension released from my knees and I wobbled backwards onto Phil's bed before bursting into laughter as Phil snorted like a pig. I giggled, wiped my eyes and walked back over to the wardrobe, pulling out some of Phil's plaid shirts. I did the same as I did with the jeans and then found one shirt saying "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing left. I took the shirt, pulling it over my head and stood next to Phil. It took a couple of minutes till he noticed but when he did he laughed and then tickled my sides so I collapsed into a ball on the floor.
"Stop messing around," Phil giggled kind-heartedly. "When my mum stops staring into space we'll be toast."
"What about your dad?" I asked standing up and took some of Phil's shirts down from the hangers which clinked together.
"I dunno, he just, I guess he's staying out of everything for now since my mum was the one who originally started shouting at me," Phil tossed his head to the side as he held up a bunch of tangled wires. "Are you sure your parents will be okay with me staying?"
"My dad may be a little iffy but you know my mum," I said reassuringly. "We have a sofa bed so."
Phil nodded, his tongue sticking out as he smiled.
Once I had finished helping Phil pack his clothes, I wrapped my arms around him as he was still fiddling with the tangled wires. I lent over his shoulder and took the end to his Apple Mac book charger before quickly unwinding them all. Phil turned to look at me with a strange expression on his face.
"How did you do that?" he asked astoundingly.
"Magic," I laughed and Phil rolled his eyes.
"Idiot," he said kissing my cheek before zipping up his suitcase. "Shall we go?"
I gulped.
"Okay."
Phil pulled his suitcase off his bed with a large thump and I followed him down the stairs where Mr Lester was stood, his fingers tapping against the railing in a repetitive beat. Once he had noticed our presence he grabbed Phil's arm quickly.
"Phil, son, you're not thinking this through, your mother... She didn't actually mean for you to take her seriously," he begged.
"Well tough shit dad, I did and this is final, you should just accept me,"
"It's not that easy,"
"Exactly, what is your problem?" Phil snapped, his eyes narrowing.
His dad looked down.
"I... I don't have a problem," he replied.
"W - What?" Phil shook his arm out of Mr Lester's grip. "You mean you didn't even agree exactly with mum and just made me become an asshole because you wanted me to be that way...?"
"Phil, no that isn't –"
Phil pulled away and stormed away from his dad, opening the front door, the suitcase clattered down the cement stairs and path. I followed with no hesitation this time, I ran after him, my breath became shorter from how unfit I was. Once I had caught up with him Phil stopped and looked up to the sky.
"Dan, I, where do I go from here? I don't know what to do," he said sadly. "I'm so confused."
I took Phil's hand, squeezed it and I smiled. I took his chin and turned his head so he was looking at me.
"I don't know either, but for now let's not look into it so much okay? You've had enough on your plate for one day," I explained. "We'll just go to my house and relax okay?"
Phil nodded and closed the distance between us, kissing me softly.
"Love you."
"Love you too."
Then we walked on, leaving Phil's house behind him in the hope that leaving that toxic environment would never entice Phil again. Since my house wasn't so far from his it didn't take long to arrive outside my house. I pecked his cheek quietly and helped his suitcase up the cement stairs to my house door, then turning the handle.
"Home already Dan?" my mum called from the living room as she heard my footsteps in the corridor.
Her head poked around the corner of the door frame belonging to the living room, her long brown hair which was tied into a pony tail hanging down behind her, while her eyes narrowed.
"Dan? Why is Phil here with a suitcase?"
I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly and closed the front door.
"Well you see um, I was wondering if Phil could stay with us for a while," I told her.
"Why?"
I looked at Phil frowning.
"I'll explain," Phil said walking forward.
Mum smiled and invited us into the living room. We sat down and mum paused her programme.
"Well Hilly it all started when..."
After Phil's explanation my mum seemed to be pretty stoked.
"You're being completely honest Phil? You mean that all happened?" mum asked uncertainly.
"It did, honestly Hilly,"
My mum looked at me and I nodded.
"Jeez, of course you can stay Phil we have a sofa bed that you can sleep on, I'm sure Tilly would enjoy having you stay here as well, obviously I'll have to discuss it a little more with Harry but yes for now of course you can stay!" my mum told him beaming. "Dinner is in the oven, I've made lasagna if that's okay with you?"
"That's fine," Phil nodded.
"Oh fine don't ask me if it's okay!" I sulked playfully and mum sat next to me ruffling my hair.
"Is it okay with you then mister sulk?" she laughed.
"Totally!" I replied brightening up.
Later mum told us to go up to my room where Phil could keep his stuff. We walked up together and I threw myself onto my bed, cuddling one of the pillows close to my chest before I noticed Phil had spaced out again while looking out of the window.
"I had forgotten how much of a brilliant view you had of the town from your window Dan," he said turning to me as I stood beside him, looking over the small Tudor themed buildings of our town, the black lampposts held baskets of white daisies or red petunias. The sun shined down on the cobbled stone which formed the large high street road where children were running holding toys or books while their parents were talking to their friends or laughing as their children's creativity shone.
"It's so peaceful looking at the town, don't you think?" Phil asked looking away.
I nodded, a few memories of how I had walked down that high street many times to get to our childhood park sparking in my mind.
"It's so beautiful," I rested my head on Phil's shoulder and he held me close.
"Hey Dan?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you,"
"What for?"
"Showing me the light."
***
It wasn't long till the Spring Dance, in fact it was tomorrow, I didn't think it would cause such a ruckus around the Sixth Form but it really did. The questions of what you were wearing and who was going with who was constantly flying over my head. Not to mention it was almost time for Sixth Formers to leave for summer which I was greatly looking forward to despite that I would be in Year 13 next year which would have meant my Sixth Form exams.
Phil had been living in our house for quite some time and mum had visited the Lester's house one time to talk to Mrs Lester about things, but apparently she wanted nothing to do with our family which I could tell upset mum a little as they used to be best friends. However she didn't blame Phil which I was glad about. Tilly was super chuffed to have Phil living with us, since they got on rather well she spent quite some time with us, baking usually. It turned out Phil was a master at icing cupcakes and decorating them so we chose to make chocolate cupcakes and vanilla cupcakes together while Phil iced them with yellow butter icing. Sometimes we would even make some crystal butterflies to slot into the yellow icing which usually amazed Tilly.
I dried my wet hair from the shower I had just taken, sitting on my bed in my boxers. The blind was closed, blocking the view of the night side of the town, Phil was sat in Tilly's room watching the old school Pingu's together and practically laughing their asses off. I pulled a loose shirt over my head and threw my towel onto the rack in the bathroom before walking back towards my room but entered Tilly's instead. I watched as a snowball was thrown in Pingu's face and he retorted with his famous 'noot'. I giggled and sat down next to Tilly on her bed.
"Pingu is fantastic," Phil commented. "Don't you remember us watching these episodes when we were three Dan?"
I nodded.
"He is the best but I like Robby the seal to be honest," I replied laughing.
When the episode ended mum walked in and said it was time for Tilly to be sent to bed. Tilly originally moaned and exclaimed;
"Noot! Noot!"
Before Phil and I had to leave the room, which was quite hilarious. We sat down in my room for a while, staring at my poster covered ceiling. Our fingers interlocked as I discussed stars quietly with Phil for some reason. I began to ramble a little and we both laughed as I ran out of conversation.
"Ooo Phil have you seen this anime called Free?" I asked, looking to him.
"Nope, never heard of it,"
"What! How can you never have heard of Free!?" I exploded sitting up. "We have to watch it right now, I won't allow this!"
I turned on my TV and found my box set of season one, Free! Iwatobi Swim Club and slotted the first DVD into the drive. I walked back to my bed and dragged Phil up so we were sat next to each other, my excitement running through my veins as the opening began to play.
"So how many seasons are there?"
"There's two, this is Free! Iwatobi Swim Club and then the second is Free! Eternal Summer, the second season is better in my opinion," I explained. "Also the soundtrack for Free is amazing as well."
Phil laughed.
"Stop talking! I'm missing like half of your so-called Free."
I stuck my tongue out at him, and cuddled him closer as we began to watch my favourite anime together.
It was around one AM when we had finished the whole of season one and my eyelids were incredibly heavy, however Phil wanted to start watching season two since he had fallen in love with Free like I had predicted so. Mum had already came into our room once to tell us to go to bed so I guess I didn't want to push our luck. Phil was going to leave for his sofa bed but I took hold of the band on his boxer shorts and tiredly begged him to stay with me.
"Fine," Phil groaned and fell back into bed next to me.
I laughed softly and we cuddled together.
"So Free then?"
"Amazing, I just, I really can't wait to watch season two!"
"Trust me, you'll love it!" I replied, allowing my eyes to close, nodding in a sleepy reply to Phil who was talking about Rei's butterfly swimming costume and how he thought Rin was a bit of a dickhead, the proceeding to speak about how he felt somewhat relatable to Haru. It wasn't long before his voice completely drowned out because I had fallen asleep.
***
"Tilly stop pulling at my shirt you'll rip it!" I scolded playfully.
"But Dan I don't want you to go to the dance!" she moaned, pulling on my shirt further till dad had to pick her up so she wouldn't actually rip my shirt.
I looked over to Phil who was chuckling silently while he was wore his suit as well. We bidded our fair wells since we were walking to school – mum wasn't so happy about that because we'd be coming home at god knows when but Phil and I had convinced her around it.
Once we had arrived at school, Troye and Tyler were waiting for us alongside Louise, Emma and Carrie who were going as friends. However Chris and Peej were going to be late since they had some 'stuff' to do before they came to the dance. After saying hello we walked inside to the blasting of icky pop music which was not in my music taste. Louise took my hand, her silky salmon pink dress turned a little darker under the disco red lights which shone on the dance floor. I looked back at Phil who was smiling kindly as Phil jumped around with me, his wacky dance moves caused me to burst into laughter.
"So how have things been with your boyfriend then huh?" she smiled as we swayed side to side to the beat of Linkin Park.
"We've been good actually," I replied.
"Aw, that#s fantastic," Louise said.
She looked over next to us where Phil was stood, telling us that they were selling hot dogs if we wanted to get some. Louise had rushed over to Emma so they could buy hot dogs together as Chris and Pj walked onto the dance floor and greeted us. Together we decided we'd go buy some hot dogs since we hadn't eaten, my eyes sprang along all of the food in excitement. I felt Phil's hand hold mine and I smiled, he was happy, so was I, it seemed perfect. Phil paid for mine and his hot dog's and we sat down on a bench together nearby.
"Phil... Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what's up?" Phil looked at me, taking a bite of his hot dog.
"A few weeks ago, when you came to stay in my house, why did you thank me... for 'showing you the light'?" I asked quietly but loud enough so he could hear me over the raging music.
"I said that because, you showed me that I could be loved no matter who I was," he explained gently. "You proved my parents wrong. You showed me I could be who I wanted, that I didn't have to fit in with my parents – or society's ordeals. And I wanted to thank you for that."
We both finished our hot dogs and threw the napkins in the bin.
"Well, you're very welcome Phil. I'm glad that I showed you the light." I said and Phil blushed slightly.
I took Phil's waist and he wrapped his arms around my neck and we swayed onto the dance floor along with everybody else as a slow dance was commencing.
Do you ever get that feeling when you just feel peaceful?
When you're in such a comfortable environment, or when you're about to fall asleep, that you finally feel at peace? That was exactly how I felt, however it almost felt alien to me. My mind had no time for peace, there was so much negativity flying around that peace couldn't even make its way in. Or it was as if you were with a significant other, they just make you feel loved. Because they love you for who you are, not for whom everyone else thinks you are. And that just makes you love yourself, because that is important. Love yourself, because as sad as it sounds, soon there will be no-one else to love you for you.
Suddenly, Phil began to cry silently as we swayed. I took Phil's chin and lifted his chin up so he was looking straight into my eyes. I wiped his tears softly and whispered;
"We're going to be okay. You're going to be okay Phil, don't cry."
He nodded, a few more tears streaming down his cheeks and he lent in to kiss me. As our lips softly met the music seemed to fit the rhythm to our soft affection, calm and soothing. The kiss was slightly wet due to Phil's tears but we didn't mind. The kiss was reassuring and loving, not rough, not passionate, sweet and sound.
When our kiss ended, one tear trickled down my cheek, and that was the moment when I truly, and deeply, fell in love with Phil Lester.
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Happy 5 years of phan c: so here's a special update to celebrate that and to celebrate 100K on this fic! Thank you <3 It means the world to me and keeps me going everyday because of your support! ^^
So I really hope you enjoyed the chapter - tbh I think its one of my favourite chapters I've written so far! c:
Dedicated to destiel-pie because she's my bae and adorable <3 (she writes destiel if any of you like Supernatural)
Cheerio my pancakes! :)