Ayeeee, you guys are good on the votes
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"So how's your imaginary boyf doing?" Jo asked from across the lunch table
I sat there eating my apple in silence as I listened to them all make a joke out of my early morning encounter. I sighed and took another bite as she spoke up again,
"What was his name again, Nate? Nathy? Nathan! That's it, his name is Nathan...How is he?" She chuckled
I sighed and looked at her "I don't know why don't you ask him?"
She rolled her eyes "Dylan, seriously, move in with one of us or your going to go fully insane"
I scrolled though the contacts on my phone until I found the most recently added. I pressed it and slid the phone over to Jo, she stared at the number before eyeing my suspiciously "What's this?"
"His number" I shurgged "Give it a call"
She looked at me before calling him, she pressed the phone to her ear and everyone fell silent as they watched her. Her brow was furrowed at first when suddenly it became a look of shock, and it was obvious that he had answered
"Hello?" She said
She was quiet for a while before speaking "Who is this?"
Her face turned into complete shock and embarrassment as he said his name, her voice was a lot less confident when she spoke again "No, this isn't Dylan...I-It's her freind Jo"
Her voice never picked up as she ended the call "She's fine, she uhm, she's just fine"
She put the phone down and slid it across the table to me, I couldn't help the smug look on my face as she cleared her throat "Sorry, if I upset you by not believing you"
I shrugged and looked at everyone else around the table "I told you I met a boy"
Everyone mumbled apologies as we sat back in silence, Lara put her hand on my shoulder "Sorry, It was really harsh of me to do that to you"
I shrugged adn went back to eating my apple, happy that the school day was nearly over and I would be able to escape the dicks that I call friends. I finished my apple and stood fromt he table, saying that I was going to the loo but in actual fact I was just leaving everyone behind.
I walked down the halls and slung my bag over my shoulder, not really sure where I was going but leaving them behind never the less. I looked down at my feet as ususal, watching as each one took a turn to be in the lead.
I crashed into someone midway down the hall, for a second the feeling of hope that it would be Nathan overcame me, I looked up at found Josh holding my arms to steady me this time.
Josh was one of the most pospular boys in the school, with his dark hair done perfect to the last strand and his branded clothes suited him perfectly. And naturally I along with half the school had a massive crush on him. I shook myself out of his grip and took a step back to apologise and then carry on my way.
I went to spologise but he spoke before me "Woah, Dylan are you okay?"
I stared at him, I probably looked so stupid but he was actually talking to me, he doesn't really talk to anyone like me. I mean, I'm not un-popular but I like to keep myself to myself. I shook my head and gave a small smile and nodded my head.
"I have a habit of crashing into people" I gave a small chuckle at the past two nights with Nathan
He laughed with me "I can tell, you should watch where you're going...Can't be getting that face all mashed up now can we?"
I deffinatly looked like a rabit caught in headlights at the point, I shook myself free from the shock and waved my hand "Might be an improvement"
He shook his head "I don't think so"
"You never know" I shrugged
He laughed "Do you ever take a compleiment?"
I shook my head "I'm emotionally dead. Remember?"
He rolled his eyes "They don't know what you've been through and how hard it is to loose someone that close"
I looked down and furrowed my brow "Yeah, well you deal with it and move on"
"Cory was pretty special to one of my mates" He blurted out
"Who?" I looked up
He waved his hand "You wont know him, and she probably never spoke of him...Things between them were...Private"
"She was always sneaking around, always acting different...I should've known!" I kicked myself mentally
He laughed "Look, it's okay...They wanted it to stay that way, I mean when you have a boyfriend who none of your mates have ever seen or heard it makes things difficult"
I nodded and mumbled "I know the feeling"
"You have a boyfriend?" He asked
"Oh, no! I mean, I have a friend who no-one thought existed"
He nodded and we stood in silence for a while, I watched as he stood there and scratched the back of his neck "I was wondering if I dunno, you wanted a lift home tonight...I see you walking everyday and keep forgetting to ask you"
I felt my eyes widen and then I looked down "Yeah sure, only if that's cool with you"
"Yeah, uh what do you have last?"
I thought for a second "I think I have math"
He chuckled "Have fun with that"
I rolled my eyes "You're supposed to be in my class"
"I don't have time for maths, I'm practising for the soccer trials next week" He shrugged
"Typical" I chuckled
He shrugged "Might get somewhere with it in later life...Won't need maths after that"
"And if you don't get somewhere?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it"
I smiled softly and heard the bell go, I looked behind me and back at Josh "I'll meet you here after math, I have to go before my group find me"
He chuckled "Alright, see you later Dylan"
"Bye" I called over my shoulder as I made my way to class
***
I got out of math and sighed deep, my brain had been fried during that lesson, I was never any good with math at the best of times. I just didn't get the numbers and the division and the fractions and the decimal point and the percentages and all that. It was my weakest area, I slung my bag over my shoulder again and began to walk back to where I said I would meet Josh.
I had a nervous feeling about what I was going to do, I had never really spoke to Josh and now I was going to let him drive me home. Plus I was crazy about him, knowing that my crush was paying attention to me was almost all too much for me.
It was times like this where I just wish Cory was here, I could go home and tell her about my crazy crush moment, we would have a real girly moment...But I lost all that when I lost her, now I'm just Dylan, the girl who has no emotions and who is incapable of falling in love.
That one came about after I finally got myself a boyfriend about three weeks after Cory died, but it ended a month later when I realised that I just couldn't bring myself to fall, I was scared to love someone after everyone that I love has been taken from me. My mother hospitalised and so drugged up she doesn't know who I am, my father so intoxicated he barley remembers my name in the morning and my twin taken from me body and soul.
When I think about it, it's not suprising that I have trust issues with people, that I can't put that trust in someone. I don't want to have to go through the pain of loosing someone that I love any more, I've been through that enough in my seventeen years of life.
"Dylan" I heard Josh call from behind me
I turned round and smiled at him "Hey"
"You're here"
"I said I would be though" I chuckled
He shrugged "I was kind of expecting you to walk anyway"
I smiled "I decided against it"
"So you were debating it?"
"Math was too borning not too"
He laughed and jerked his head in the direction of the car park "C'mon, I'll get you home"
I smiled and followed him to his car, it was a red convertable, nothing to special or sporty or fast or anything that you would expect a jock to have. I got in the passenger side and sat down, putting the seatbelt on and watching as he got in on the other side. He started the car and chucked his bag in the back seat. I held onto mine as he drove out of the school, I looked out the window and saw Lara and Jo waiting for me.
I sunk in my seat and rest my head back, Josh was actually a good driver. He didn't feel the need to race the other drivers away from the traffic lights, or fly round the bends. I felt safer in a car with him then I did with most other people.
Before I knew it we were outside my house, I sighed deep as I looked at the massive empty building. Josh pulled up the handbreak and we both sat in silence in the car now "You live there on your own?"
I nodded "All on my own"
It was silent again before Josh spoke up again "Why do you do it Dylan?"
"What?" I looked round at him
"Live on your own?"
I sighed "Becuase I can't face living with other people"
Josh watched me for a while "Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah"
He sighed and looked down "Ever since my mate started dating your twin I've been watching you and her, Dylan I think you're an amazing person. To of been through what you have I almost admire you and I-I've began to feel something for you"
"You-"
I was cut off by his lips on mine, I wanted to push him off but at the same time I didn't, I wanted him to stay there and keep kissing me. I pulled away and looked at him, he studied my face for any sign of dismissal at what he just did
"But you know what people say about me, I can't feel" I sighed
"I don't care, maybe I can change your mind"
I sighed "Thank you for the lift home"
I went to get out when he called me back "Dylan!"
I poked my head through the window "I meant what I said"
I nodded "Night Josh"
I walked up to my door and waved to Josh as I stepped into the house and travelled up to my room where I collapsed on my bed, in the postion I would stay in until it was time to go out and see her.
***
I looked at the time to see that it was quarter past two, it was time for me to start getting ready to leave. I stood from my bed and went to walk to the door when I heard something tapping against my window.
I froze at first before I finally picked up the corage to go and see what it was. I grabbed the heaviest object in my room -which happened to be my laptop- and walked over top the window. I slid it open and looked down into the darkness.
"Who the fuck is there!" I shouted
I heard his laugh before anything else "Dylan, what do you plan on doing with the laptop in your hands?"
I rolled my eyes "Nathan! What are you doing at my window? And what the hell are you throwing at it?"
He laughed again "Tea bags"
I slapped my forehead and shook my head "Go to the door"
I closed the window and put my laptop back on the side and went down to the door. I opened it to see Nathan stood there with a bag of teabags in his hand. He was wearing the same white top that he wore the other night, with the sleeves pushed up, he had black jeans on with a grey jacket over the top. I shook my head at him and invited him in, he stepped through the door and looked around it.
"Once you've finished gawking" I cleared my throat
He looked at me and smiled "Lonley place to live"
I rolled my eyes and usherd him up the stairs, he laughed "Taking me upstairs the second I come in your house"
"I don't trust you down here" I laughed
He walked into my room and looked at the wall above my bed, where I have my pictures. He walked over to it and ran his hand over one with Cory and I. I found this quite odd but didn't think on it too much.
He sighed and looked at all the photos of me and her "You were twins"
I nodded even though he had his back turned to me. I sighed deep and went back to the window to close the curtains. I looked at the time to see it was half two now, I chuckled and Nathan heard
"What?"
"You're early"
He pulled his phone out and smiled "We'll just have to rush to the street corner before three"
"Why are you here?" I blurted out
"It's not healthy for us to both be out at 3am...So instead of us going out, I thought I would come to you" He chuckled
"But I have to see her"
He sighed "Both of us need to break this habit, it's not good for us"
As much I as know he is right, I feel that I just have to see her "But I'm not a good sister if I don't see her"
"She knows your there, seriously, you don;t have to be sat by her grave at some stupid time in the morning to be a good sister" He walked over to me
I felt tears begin to fill my eyes "But I promised her that I would see her everyday"
He pulled me into a hug then, he held me tight with my face buried in his chest. The tears spilt down my cheeks "I told her I would see her all the time, everyday and when ever she needed me I would be ther with her and for her"
I heard Nathan wisper something then, something that I probably shouldn't have heard but did and it sent shock right through my body and sudden realisation
"I promised her the same thing"...
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We're getting somewhere waheyyy!!!
dedicated to Chelseaaamariee bc started a 5SOS fanfic with her ((Which I highly recommend you check out bc I've never been more excited for a co-write before!! It's on her pageee "Reckless" )) and just bc she is amazing and yeah...She deserves this dedication
let me know what you think ayeee