"Liz..."
She frowned at being woken up but dutifully rolled over in bed so Taylor could strap her to the monitor. Her arm ached from the daily repetitive crush of the cuff as she untangled it from the sheets and covered her eyes with her free hand to try and preserve even just an ounce of sleep hidden behind her eyelids. The familiar sounds of air compression had almost lulled her back to sleep when Taylor gently shook her shoulder.
"Come on," he laughed softly, "The kids are gonna be up soon anyway."
"I hate you," she grumbled, letting him pull her up to sitting.
"Nah, you love me. I'm gonna go finish the laundry from last night and then we can start breakfast... unless you wanna go out?"
Liz glared at him from under her mess of bedhead and gestured to her almost impossibly huge belly. "You really want to be seen out in public with this mess right now?"
"I'll take you to the Pig n' Pancake," he offered, barely hiding his laugh, "They have those wide booths so you can fit."
"How dare you?" Liz shot back with a giggle and launched one of her many pillows at his face. "I'm gestating your children right now!"
Taylor easily deflected her throw and darted toward the door. "Fine! Goddamnit, woman! All you had to say was no!"
"Make me coffee!" she called after him, waiting until she heard his footsteps far enough away before checking her phone.
Her heart sunk when she found her notification bar blank but suddenly remembered the phone call she had made in the dead of the night while half asleep with her will power at it's weakest.
"Hello?"
She had to squeeze her eyes shut and hold her breath to keep from bursting into tears, she didn't realize just how desperately she had missed him until she heard his voice.
"... hello?" he repeated, sounding worried now. "Taylor?"
"Dave?" she managed to squeak out and was met with a sharp gasp in return. There was some scuffling and swearing on his end and then a door closing.
"Liz? Are you okay? What's wrong? Do you-"
She interrupted before he could go completely off the rails with panic, "Nothing, no- everything's fine. Sorry, it's so late, I just... I miss you."
His heavy sigh made her body curl into itself. "I miss you, too. ... so fucking much, Elizabeth. I have to keep reminding myself that you're real and not some year-long fever dream."
She smiled and played with the hem of his shirt, the same one he had left there over a year ago, "How are the kitties?"
"Mom sent me a picture of all four of them asleep on your pillow this morning."
"Oh, great. I can't wait to get home and wake up with a face full of cat hair," she smiled and used the tip of her ring finger to trace the stitching on the blanket in her lap. "...So are you not at home?"
His pause had answered her question before he could, the unspoken words between them were practically a scream. That pervasive, penetrating dread of suspicion on both of their parts, no longer able to just trust what the other was saying. Those horrible tendrils of doubt reaching into every dark corner of their lives together.
She raked her hair up and off her face, tying it into a messy knot as she left her bedroom with those thoughts swirling in her mind. Climbing the steps, she could hear Taylor already working on breakfast and hoped he'd saved at least some coffee for her.
"You shouldn't have that much caffeine, Liz," he'd murmur at her every morning since they'd been in Oregon. "It's not good for you." Which directly translated to: I'd like to monitor your eating habits since you're carrying my children.
Still bleary-eyed and yawning loudly, she blindly shuffled into the kitchen, past Taylor standing at the stove and started for the coffee maker. Sighing in relief when she saw her "Mama's Coffee" mug full to the brim and waiting for her, she had just opened her mouth to thank Taylor when she heard the stove click off and a pair of large hands closed around her hips.
"I was wondering where that shirt ended up."
Her sharp gasp and swift turn made him back up a step in surprise, both of them staring at each other in disbelief. She worked her jaw, unable to speak or breathe or form any coherent thought in her brain before she burst into tears.
*
The second she gasped, Dave's heart fell. He shouldn't have convinced Josh to drive him to the airport, he shouldn't have booked the very next flight out of Palm Springs to Portland, he shouldn't have rented that stupid fucking van to drive out to the beach and he shouldn't have just assumed she would be thrilled by it all.
"Fuck, baby," he tried giving her some room by backing up another step. "I'm so sorry. I just... I thought... I couldn't... I just missed you and after we talked last night I-"
His back hit the edge of the counter, but before the pain could even register she was on him. She tasted like tears and coffee and her, and it sent every doubt he had about flying up to Oregon out the window.
"I know you hate surprises," he whispered between her kisses, "But-"
"No, not when it's you. You just startled me," she sighed, pulling herself onto the counter and wrapping her legs around his hips so her belly wouldn't be in the way. "I thought you were Taylor and was about to kick your ass."
He tipped his head back just enough to see her face and could have spilled his own tears at how genuine she looked. All those thoughts he couldn't help but have, visions of his wife and his best friend... they just evaporated.
And just like their lips, their hands found their familiar places via muscle memory, with his cradling the base of her skull and her's tangled in his hair. She would giggle in between breaths, sounding still a little stunned that he was there and maybe feeling a little silly that they were making out like teenagers on a kitchen counter at 6:30 in the morning. He was just about find out what she had on under her pajama shorts when the sound of footsteps off the tile stopped him. They didn't slow down at all, just made their kisses a bit more chaste.
"Oh, gross," Violet whined from the other side of the island.
"Sorry, V," Liz called out over Dave's shoulder but went right back to kissing him even though they were both laughing.
Dave only managed to pull away when the door to the deck opened and Violet yelled back to them, "It's cool, Liz! It's not like you can get any more pregnant!"
"Ugh," Liz groaned and let Dave help her off the counter. "She's right, I hope."
"Another month and a half and it'll be over," he reminded her, turning away to flip the burner on the stove back on.
He was just about to drop some pancake batter on the hot griddle when a tiny sniffle from just behind him made him glance back. His heart went into a free fall all over again when he saw she was weeping. "Whoa... What'd I say?"
"Nothing!" she cried, stomping her foot in frustration and Dave almost laughed at how cute she looked. Almost. "It's just that I can't stop crying at every little thing, good or bad, I can't do anything I love to do anymore, I can barely breathe or eat or walk and I'm the size of a planet!"
"No, you're not, Mommy!" Jack's little voice startled them both and Dave wondered how long he had been standing there, "Maybe a dwarf planet, not like Jupiter or anything."
Liz sucked in a deep breath as Dave carefully dragged his hand down her back. "Thanks, buddy. That helps a bunch."
Dave found he couldn't keep his hands off of her as she helped him make breakfast for eight kids. They would bump into each other as they worked, his hands grazing over her lower back and the ladder of her rib cage while hers grabbed at the front of his jeans and the broad part of his chest. He was seconds away from pulling her into the front hall closet with him when Taylor finally strolled upstairs with a basket of laundry under his arm.
"Hey, wifey. Your swimsuit finally-," he stopped short when Dave wandered out of the pantry with a bottle of syrup in his hands. "... dried. Disco. You're here."
A heavy silence hung in the air before Liz grabbed her coffee and a bowl of strawberries and hurried out to the deck where all the kids were seated around the long table. Dave wasn't far behind, too busy tamping down his anger at Taylor's little nickname to even speak to him.
"Daddy! Uncle T is teaching us how to surf!" Harper grinned just as he dropped into the chair next to Liz.
"Harper is a natural," Liz said quietly, setting her hand on his thigh when his arm rested on the back of her chair, "She's been using all my old gear from when I was her age."
"Yeah? We'll have to get you set up with some of your own gear when we get back down to the islands. Okay, Doodle?" Her mega-watt smile, so much like his own, calmed him almost immediately. This was exactly what he had been aching for, quiet time with his family with nothing bearing down on them and he wasn't going to let Taylor's bullshit ruin it.
But then Ophelia and Everleigh asked for something different to drink and Liz moved to stand.
"No, I'll get it," Dave insisted and headed back in where Taylor was avoiding the whole scene by flipping pancakes.
"Having fun?" Dave just couldn't resist as he stalked past him to the fridge.
Taylor's shoulders lifted almost infinitesimally. "What?"
"Are you having fun playing house with my wife and kids?"
The spatula in Taylor's hand hit the countertop with a smack, but he kept his back turned. "No one asked you to come up here, man."
"No, I'm pretty sure I was specifically asked to stay away," he muttered, pouring juice for their youngest daughters.
"And you showed up anyway."
Dave slammed the carton of juice back down and tried, he really tried to stay calm but, "Oh shit. Sorry Hawkins, did I interrupt your precious little fantasy? Did I show up right as you were about to make your move?"
"What move?" Taylor scoffed unconvincingly and turned his attention back to the pancakes. "I'm not making any moves."
"I dunno," he muttered, watching Liz start to pull herself out of her chair, "Wifey is pretty damn specific. What would your actual wife say to that little endearment?"
"You wouldn't fucking dare, Grohl," Taylor shot back, but Dave was already halfway out the door to keep Liz from coming in search of him.
Setting Evers and Phee's cups next to their plates, he sweetly kissed the top of his daughter's head before returning to his spot and returning his arm on the back of Liz's chair.
"Everything okay?" she asked quietly, her eyes scanning his face as she worriedly sipped her coffee.
"Yup," he grinned when she leaned in to kiss him, then held her against his lips as the kids around the table groaned in disgust and a faint swear from inside the kitchen echoed out onto the deck.
*
Taylor had taken Liz's jeep into Portland to pick up Allison from the airport, leaving Dave and Liz with the kids. Which Dave was perfectly fine with since all it required of him was to sit in a lawn chair with a beer in his hand and Liz in his lap. The kids were happily playing in the sand and shallow water beyond, only needing an adult's attention when food was requested. Even Shane and Violet, just on the verge of their 'disaffected youth' phase were content to just sit on the sea wall with a selection of Liz's guitars and practice songs.
Little by little, Dave felt all the stress and worry from the past several weeks melt away, carried out with the receding tide. Liz was apparently feeling just as relaxed given that she kept falling asleep on his shoulder and he took every opportunity to press kisses against her forehead between sips of his beer.
"What the fuck, Elizabeth?!"
Allison's yell jolted Liz awake and made her sit forward on Dave's lap so fast he had to catch her so she wouldn't fall. They both looked back as she stormed out onto the lawn in a gust of black leggings and blonde hair with a wide smile.
"You've had this gorgeous place the entire time and never once brought me up here?"
Dave felt the relieved breath leave Liz's lungs as she pulled herself up and over towards Allison. He watched as they wrapped each other in a tight hug, rocking back and forth a bit as they spoke quietly and not far behind, Taylor strolled out with a beer in each hand, meekly waddling up to Dave to offering one as a way of calling a truce.
"Al and I picked up dinner."
They eyed each other for a moment, the screech of Taylor's daughters running to greet their mother making Dave flinch a bit. "Cool. Thanks, man."
*
Dinner was an entire crate of crab and a few bottles of good wine out on the deck and by the time the kids had been put to bed, Dave had mostly forgotten his irritation with his best friend.
... Until his wife spoke up.
"He wants to fuck her," Allison said bluntly.
She was drunk, Dave was drunk, Taylor was stoned out of his mind from an edible Liz had given him and was trying his hardest to help her load the dishwasher while Allison and Dave stayed out at the table, watching them through the windows. It wasn't like Allison's statement was brand new information, Dave knew damn well that Taylor wanted to fuck around with Liz, but it was still jarring to hear it out loud.
"Yeah," was all he could think of to say, then immediately filled his mouth with more wine to keep from saying anything else.
Allison went on even though Dave's mind was pleading her not to, "He hasn't asked me if I'd be cool with it yet. ... but I have a feeling he's just building up the courage. Whether or not I'm invited to join in remains to be seen."
His wine glass hit the wooden top of the table a bit harder than he had intended, making the light from the candles quiver. "Just for the fucking record, I'm not cool with it."
She snorted a little laugh into her own wine as she took a sip. "I think he was banking on her leaving you first."
Dave adored Allison. He appreciated her straight forward honesty, her ability to keep Taylor on the straight and narrow, and her infectious fun side, but the bolt of anger her words had conjured ripped through his veins, making him lean forward to refill his glass. "Thanks, Al. I'll sleep great knowing that he's waiting in the wings for my next fuck up."
She shrugged at his sarcasm. "I might just swoop in and steal her out from under both of you idiots. Show her what she's missing."
Something about her tone made him look over at her, watching as a slow smile spread across her face in the candlelight. "Oh come on, David," she giggled. "I'd get you drunk and let you watch every once in a while."
"Can't promise I won't try to get in the middle of it."
She reached over and sweetly patted his arm, laughing softly now. "That's fine with me, honey. You know I'm a big fan of your work."
He was drunk enough to keep her talking, curious as to how far he could get her in the conversation, but Taylor's laugh was as effective as an ice cold shower when it drifted over the deck as Liz opened the door.
*
"Dave..."
No.
"Babe, wake up."
"I don't wanna."
Her giggle made him open one eye, then frown when he saw the windows behind her were still dark.
"Come on," she insisted, shaking his shoulder just a little. "I promise it'll be fun."
That piqued his interest enough to open his other eye. "What kind of fun?"
A simple eyebrow raise from her was all it took to hurl himself out of bed and frantically start yanking on whatever clothes he could find nearby. It wasn't until they were running down the steps in the sea wall that he thought to ask what the hell they were doing out on the beach in the middle of the night.
"This," she reached for his hand with a bright smile and pulled him down beside her onto a blanket she had apparently spread out before waking him.
The blanket was warm from the sand heated by the summer sun and Liz immediately snuggled into his side with her head on his shoulder, making he feel like he might fall back asleep.
But the stars overhead were too beautiful. The milky way spread across the sky just above them with splashes of purple and indigo mixed among the specks of stars... and to make his heart swell even more, she was back in his arms.
"Does it measure up to Hawaii?"
She sounded anxious as if the universe laid before him wasn't completely dazzling and lifted her head from his shoulder when he couldn't find the immediate words to describe how he was feeling.
"It's fine," he decided, then chuckled when she nudged him with her elbow.
They fell quiet again, both of them staring up at the stars and lost in their own thoughts when he suddenly felt like she was too far away, even laying in his arms. Tearing his eyes away from the night sky, he brought the back of her hand up to his lips and kept it there until she looked up at him.
"Don't hurt yourself," she grinned, watching the wheels spin inside his brain.
"Let's go on a honeymoon," he hadn't put any real thought behind his statement, he just wanted to get her away from everything and everyone that wanted a piece of her... or to take her from him.
"Where to?" she didn't even hesitate and it sent a rush of excitement through him.
Sitting up in the sand, he pulled her into the circle of his legs with his chest flush against her back and whispered just behind her ear, "Anywhere."
"How about everywhere?" she smiled when his only response was to pull at the collar of her hoodie and kiss her bare shoulder. "You've been to so many amazing places. Maybe you can show me around."
He grinned against her skin and began to trail more kisses up her neck until she shivered. His fingers found the zipper of the sweatshirt she was wearing, his sweatshirt, and slowly dragged it down, leaving no doubt as to what he was after and earning a nervous giggle from her in response.
"I fucking missed you," he told her for probably the hundredth time that day.
"I... I can feel that," she breathed, trying to be facetious as she arched into his touch, just as desperate for him as he was for her.
And then he found himself leaned against the sea wall, just as warm as the sand, with her above him. She was good at that; making him lose track of time and making him forget to notice simple things like how or when he got to a destination, and she was excellent at making the world drop away leaving only the two of them in focus.
The strangled swearing was coming from him, he was sure of it, though he couldn't feel the words in his throat. Only her. Her hands on his chest and arm, her knees pressed into his sides and how slowly she was lowering herself onto him.
He was desperate to kiss her, to sit up and be as close as he could get, skin against skin and his lips against hers, but she was seven and a half months into what had become a massive sacrifice and he knew she was touchy about it. He'd have to ignore the obstacle between them and be content to watch her from a distance, though it didn't take very long for the disappointment to fade.
From that angle, with his back against the warm rock, she was framed by the stars above them. Her hair was loose and wavy from being in the salty, humid air and her skin was flushed that specific color of pink he was very seriously contemplating as a color for his drop D guitars. He'd miss Goldie, but this... this was worth it.
It felt a little dirty that way, a little dangerous with how they were still mostly dressed and in a dark corner of a very public beach, and it only fueled him. Her bikini bottoms were just hastily shoved aside and his sweatshirt that she had draped around her was only unzipped enough to give him a peek, making him work his hand inside the zipper so he could touch her. She angled back when he did just that, pressing her hands over his to guide them, to let him know he could be just a little rough even when she was swollen and sore.
"Fuck...," he gasped when her rhythm increased and her head tipped back, exposing the part of her throat he could never resist.
But instead of kissing her, he could only trace his fingers up her collarbone to lightly touch the delicate muscles pulled taut under her skin.
"Yeah?" she breathed, a bit out of breath, searching for that one thing that would do him in.
He could only manage a groan in reply, bucking up into her to let her know he was almost there.
And then a drunken laugh drifted over the waves.
"Shit," she hissed and slowed a bit, but didn't stop. Just rocked her hips against his as she craned her neck to see over the sea wall. "Taylor and Ally are on the deck."
Dave was a bit surprised at how little he was bothered by that. "Both of them want to fuck you," he said suddenly. It wasn't meant necessarily to sound dirty, but it had that distinct edge to it as it left his mouth. Probably because whatever she was doing with her hips had pulled his nerves to their breaking point and he was so fucking close he couldn't breathe properly.
She made a curious sound in her throat when his hands flew to her hips, holding her down as his slurred whispers grew to something much louder. "Fuck, baby... oh fuck... God, Liz..."
He turned his face into her palm when her hand fell on his cheek, her thumb pressed against his lips to quiet him as she dragged it out of him, slowly and sweetly until his entire body was trembling.
Floaty and disconnected and buzzing and wholly relaxed, he felt her rubbing soothing circles in his beard and then his arm, and then he felt cold. She was gone, but still close by, pulling herself and him back together and brushing the sand from the blanket.
"Yeah?" she whispered softly, checking to make sure he was still on the same planet she was.
"Yeah," he nodded, reaching up to pull her back into his arms. "Fuck yeah."