Just as before, time started to pass rapidly as everyone continued their daily routines. With less than a week to the new school year, the professors were starting to show up and Dobby was taking Shannon on castle tours to help her remember where everyone was. This was accompanied by sad news though, as Shannon learned that Dobby’s time in this job would be up with the start of the year and he’d be off to find more work.
When the school schedule started, Shannon would have to go have her meals in the Great Hall with everyone else and the numerous school elves would take over cleaning duties. Though she knew Dobby would be back at the school by the next year, she would still very much miss him and did not look forward to that goodbye.
With more professors came more owls and Shannon enjoyed getting to know the new personalities and species that turned up. As for the professors, some introductions were made in passing, sometimes by Dobby sometimes by a professor themselves but for the most part Shannon kept to herself and figured that anyone who wanted information on who she was and why she was there, were going straight to Dumbledore instead of asking her and satisfied with his answers, they felt no more need to befriend the new assistant grounds keeper.
The weather started to change rapidly and Shannon woke on the first morning of school to the singing of Moss –if you could call it singing. The rain was pouring down outside and Moss’s song sounded sort of like the lonely howling of a dog left outside overnight mixed with the high pitched eerie song of a killer whale and maybe even a touch of a wailing woman who’d lost a lover. It was actually hauntingly beautiful in its own way but maybe not the most cheerful thing to wake up to.
Beside her bed was a tray of breakfast and on it a note from Dobby. Apparently he hadn’t wanted a sad goodbye either because all the note said was that Dobby had enjoyed his summer with her and hoped to see her again adding he would pop in if he ever got to come visit Harry Potter. Shannon grinned to herself knowing how much that elf loved Harry and was okay with being somewhere down his list of favourite people.
It was still very early and the rain was making everything dark and dreary but Shannon had a busy day if she wanted to get everything done before the train brought hundreds of students to the school especially if she wanted to be able to shower before the opening banquet.
With Hagrid now having to work hard on course plans, she had been abandoned on and off, to do the greenhouses and owls herself. Today however, would be her last day in the greenhouses for the year as it would now be up to the students and Professor Sprout to look after everything. For the school year, Shannon’s main job would be keeping up with the hundreds of owls and the occasional escaped pet. With that happy thought, she finished breakfast and put on some scrubby clothes, pulled out her birthday cloak to wear through the rain, and was off to work.
It was always more fun to work when in a rush, that’s when you found out how good you really were at multi-tasking! Shannon rushed around the greenhouses like a maniac, narrowly avoiding a sting from her arch enemy, the Scorpius Vine. It always looked so innocent with its long green stalks laying in artfully draped bunches but as soon as you touched one of the black spade shaped flowers hanging off the stalks, they would rear up just as a scorpion does. The flowers would curl in on themselves forming long sharp stingers and start aiming for whatever happened to be moving in the vicinity. Shannon still hadn’t looked up what happened if you got stung and when she asked Hagrid he said just “don’t get stung.” That kind of advice probably didn’t need verification.
Once out of the greenhouse, Shannon was running through the eastern courtyard, across the front entry and to the base of the owl tower. Her black cloak was warm and kept her dry but had the frustrating side effect of making her think of Severus every time she stopped to be grateful she had it on.
Most of the student’s owls hadn’t yet arrived as they were on the train with their owners, so it was a pretty easy clean up but once that was done, she set about placing extra water dishes in the brass holders just above her head and then hoisting nets of owl pellets for the small, the old and the lazy who either couldn’t keep up with their own nutritional needs or maybe just needed a bit extra if they were having bad hunting luck. After all of that was done, she was climbing up a ladder to set more perches and roosting rocks out along the hollows in the stone walls. Finally finished and feeling quite proud of herself, she was off again at a run out of the western courtyard to the front door.
Since the train arrived on the other side of the lake, she couldn’t actually see anything from the Owlery so she just kept herself rushing to be sure she was ready. She was so nervous she could hardly stand it. New people, new situations and new routines all coming at once had her on the verge of a panic attack and rushing around like a fool made her feel better.
For once, she finished work and made it to her room to find no dinner waiting. Frowning a little and taking in more of Moss’s singing, she yanked off her dirty clothes throwing them in a bin in the corner near the bathroom door and hung her cloak up to dry. She would have to wear that to dinner since it was the closest thing she had to dress robes. No one had told her about a dress code but going by the clothing Dumbledore had given her for her birthday, she had a bit of an idea of what was expected during the school year.
After a long hot shower and digging around for a comfortable but suitable outfit, she brushed out her long, silky blond hair, burnt a bright gold by the summer sun, plucked a couple stray eyebrows and then pulled on a pair of black dress pants, a red v-neck cashmere sweater and low, plain, black dress shoes. “Ready as I’ll ever be” she sighed nervously, pulled on her cloak and walked out the door saying “wish me luck Mossy!”
Shannon stepped out into the front hall which was still empty but she could see the staff door open and filled with chatting witches and wizards dressed in their best robes, many wearing their pointy hats as well. Feeling all of a sudden more out of place than she ever had, she stood still, chewing the inside of her bottom lip and wishing someone she knew would show up.
“Oh I’ll have to get Poppy down straight away!” Shannon heard Professor McGonagall say, sounding quite close to the door and then she appeared hustling out of the staff room carrying a wet letter. She looked Shannon over quickly and said absentmindedly “oh yes, Miss O’Conner, go on in, Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you.” She waved Shannon in with both hands fluttering about, obviously in a nervous rush.
Shannon walked into the busy room, scanning the crowd for Dumbledore, smiling shyly and nodding at people saying hello. She heard Hagrid’s quavering laugh and knew he was already emotional about the announcement that would be made tonight. Finally she spotted Dumbledore surrounded by professors and she stood silently nearby waiting for him to notice her. Snippets of the conversation floated her way and she knew they were talking about the dementor on the train and Harry’s reaction to it. Dumbledore was assuring everyone that no one had been harmed and there was nothing to worry about.
There was a murmuring and bustle in the crowd as the first carriages started arriving; everyone excited to start the new year. A few professors went ahead into the Great Hall to take their seats and Shannon stayed quiet by the far wall as Dumbledore continued his greetings and assurances. When finally Professor Lupin arrived, she watched with curiosity as he moved into the room, greeting other Professors who were curious to hear a first-hand account of the event on the train.
He was very lean and quite tall, long limbs and long lean face with a strong, straight jaw. In fact, Shannon struggled to find words other than long and lean to describe any part of him. His hair, light brown and fine could even be called lean in the way it gathered in small wet clumps revealing glimpses of the scalp beneath. His lips were thin but had a nice expressive shape, the upper lip a bit more pouty than the bottom. The thin moustache, barely more than a wisp above those lips, could go in her opinion but in a way it did suit the man. He probably wasn’t a very hairy wolf if the monthly change took the human’s features into consideration. Shannon couldn’t help grinning to herself as she imagined some kind of Mexican Hairless, wolf mix.
Probably his most attractive feature, were the hazel eyes; more dark green and blue than brown and full of energy and animation. Perched above nothing else but a long, thin, straight nose; those eyes peered closely into whichever face he was speaking to at the time in what appeared to be genuine interest in the speaker and then dropped with humility when a compliment was given to his quick thinking on the train.
The room was starting to empty slowly as people who had finally received enough information went ahead to their seats ready for the feast. Shannon watched as Professor Lupin made his way towards Dumbledore who was just sending the last two Professors ahead to their seats, nodding and smiling them onwards.
“Headmaster” Lupin’s voice was soft, even in happy greeting. He reached out a hand to shake Dumbledore’s heartily and did one last glance around the room. His eyes flicked over Shannon on their sweep and passed back to Dumbledore before doing a double take and returning to the lovely young girl near the wall. The room went silent for a beat, the handshake stopped midair as Shannon and Professor Lupin took each other in.
“Remus, so glad you made it” Dumbledore interrupted, his blue eyes twinkling merrily. Professor Lupin’s gaze was pulled back to the Headmaster who went on “quite a good thing you were on that train” he winked and patted Professor Lupin’s back. “Now if you’ll just go ahead and find your seat on the far end, we can get this school year under way.”
As Dumbledore turned, guiding Professor Lupin to the door, Shannon wondered if she would be forgotten but only for a split second as right after that thought crossed her mind both Dumbledore and Professor Lupin turned their heads to look back at her. Dumbledore still smiling quite happily and Professor Lupin still somewhat dumbfounded.
Once Lupin had been put through the door Dumbledore turned to Shannon saying “ah, finally, I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting!” She smiled her response and pulled away from the wall as Dumbledore continued, “with all that happened, I was having quite the time getting away but as usual, things worked out rather well. I was going to explain the seating to you. As you have certain dietary restrictions, you have a set place at the table so the elves working below know where to send your food! As it is, I can just walk you in and point out the empty seat.” He put his arm around Shannon’s shoulder and led her to the door.
Once in the Great Hall, Shannon was regretting her decision to come to Hogwarts. So many people filled the room, so much anxiety building in her chest. The professors lining the head table were all chatting and Shannon prayed she was near Hagrid who could at least keep her talking through the shyness. She scanned the table looking for an empty seat but Hagrid was on one end closest to where they entered and beside him was a cloak left by Professor McGonagall, followed by Professor Snape who was studiously ignoring her.
She kept walking with Dumbledore as he approached his seat in the middle. When they stopped, Dumbledore nodded towards the other end of the table where there was an empty seat beside Professor Lupin who was talking to Professor Trelawney. “I’m sorry I can’t come down there and make introductions myself but the sorting ceremony is about to start.” Dumbledore patted Shannon’s shoulder and taking that as her cue to keep moving she walked on taking deep breaths and trying to convince herself she was a confident woman.
Professor Lupin looked up as she approached and quickly understood where she was headed. He stood and pulled out the chair beside him and Shannon tried not to look into the sea of students or back on the table of staff who might be noticing this embarrassing moment.
Just as she was about to sit, Professor Lupin said “let me help you with your cloak” but she quickly and awkwardly shrugged out of her cloak on her own. While Professor Lupin was hanging it on the back of her chair, she sat before he could help and pulled her chair in swiftly.
He took his seat beside her still wearing his damp and tattered travel robes and had just leaned in her direction to introduce himself when the sorting ceremony began. Shannon sat stiffly, staring ahead and clapping as each student was named to a house. It wasn’t a large group this year and soon the hat was being carried out the front entrance while Professor McGonagall slipped in the side and Harry and Hermione appeared, making their way quickly to the Gryffindor table.
Shannon watched them with interest, noting that like all others they fit their book description quite well aside from small changes you might not notice without making the comparison. Harry’s black unruly hair for example was perhaps a shade or two above black and while small and slim he wasn’t the neglected knobby boy Shannon had pictured. Hermione had a bit of a heart shaped face and not the more angular face Shannon had once thought would go along with those big front teeth and her hair was a dark chestnut brown. Shannon followed their progress towards the red headed Ron and saw the quick whispers pass between them just as Dumbledore stood to make his announcements.
Everyone in the room listened attentively as Dumbledore explained the presence of the dementors and his wish that everyone avoid them. Next, he announced Professor Lupin as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Shannon clapped along with everyone though she still refused to look in his direction. Once the applause tapered off, Dumbledore then announced Hagrid as the new Care of Magical Creatures professor and Shannon clapped again, knowing that at the far end of the table, Hagrid was overcome with emotion grinning, fighting tears and embarrassment all at once.
When Dumbledore announced he was done and it was time to eat, Shannon watched her plate fill with mashed potatoes and carrots and gravy over a fake chicken breast. She smiled to herself faintly, wishing she could thank the elves below her but then remembered she was supposed to be pretending to have some kind of manners with people and not thinking about elves.
She looked up to her right and those hazel eyes were on her, glancing at her plate curiously. She looked down at his plate and saw the barely cooked steak and couldn’t help a smile. Taking that as his opening, Professor Lupin held out his hand to her saying “hello, I don’t think we’ve met; I’m Remus.”
Shannon stared into his face, stuck between abject fear of any man who showed even friendly interest in her and a strange blooming attraction to the gentle features of the man in question. She berated herself for even considering it, knowing how his story ended and with whom, this couldn’t happen. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she mentally attacked herself again for even believing that the man was showing anything more than a friendly, polite interest, as if he could ever really want her. It took another split second before she realized what she was doing and held her hand out to be grasped in the warm, strong, lean one.
“Remus” she said nervously, “I’m Shannon” and suddenly the floor was very interesting and she couldn’t peel her eyes off of it.
“You have an accent” Remus said, still holding her hand tight “are you American?”
“Canadian” Shannon corrected quickly, not that being an American was a terrible thing, just that she was proud of where she came from. “British Columbia” she added for clarification, as Canada was actually quite a large country even though everyone seemed to assume all Canadians were neighbours.
“Part of the commonwealth” Remus smiled “so you belong to us.”
Shannon’s head snapped up and she cocked an eyebrow at the strange wording. “I… well yes…I guess you could put it that way.” He was still holding her hand and she was so painfully awkward that it was starting to bother her and make her want to flee the room.
Remus laughed, squeezed her hand before letting go and said “I meant you are one of us in a way.” He picked up his fork and knife and started cutting up his food, but continued talking “although you don’t eat like one of us.”
Shannon spread a napkin in her lap and decided that eating was the fastest way out of this situation. “No, that’s true. That’s why I’m sitting with you; Dumbledore said the elves have to know where I am because of different eating habits.” She didn’t mean it to come out quite like that but as usual when she was nervous around a man, she was a complete idiot and couldn’t control what was coming out of her face.
“Was there somewhere else you’d rather be?” Remus asked and Shannon immediately felt terrible at the fleeting look of discomfort that passed over his face. She knew right away what he was thinking but didn’t know how to explain herself without rambling like a fool.
“No I didn’t mean it like…“ She felt sick with anger as if her throat was closing up, keeping any explanation from escaping.
He was looking back down at his plate, cutting his steak slowly. “It’s quite alright, I’m used to it and it’s my fault for being so forward.” He felt so stupid in that moment; of course she knew what he was and was disgusted. Usually he was so much more careful but from the moment he first laid eyes on her he was so enchanted he couldn’t help but talk to her. This was what you got for forgetting, even for a split second, that you were not a man but a terrible, disgusting creature. A poor, shabby looking one at that. He examined the red meat on his plate; his appetite gone.
God, I should not be let out in public, Shannon wanted to slam her head on the table a few times, maybe knock herself out and wake up having had a bad dream. She remembered with horror the time she had gone with her sister to meet players from their favourite hockey team. When one introduced himself and went to shake her hand, she stood staring at him mute until Melissa had to step in and make the introduction. Seriously, she was a danger to the world when sent out alone. At least the hockey player had been able to just laugh it off and hadn’t had his self-worth crushed.
She could feel the sadness rolling off Remus in waves, every sensor in her body in over drive, sucking up his emotions like a sponge. What could she possibly say to him to make him understand what had happened. ‘No it doesn’t matter you’re a werewolf, it’s just I’m such a ridiculous socially inept spaz that when you were trying to be nice to me, I had a meltdown and started acting like a jerk.’ Even the complete truth sounded unbelievable.
No one was going to come save her from herself this time, so she’d just have to try her best. “Remus” she whispered and turned in her seat so she was facing him completely. “It’s not what you think, it’s all me.” Oh Lord, now it sounded like she was breaking up with him using the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ line; let’s try that again. “I’m not really good with first impressions, I’m really just very shy and when I get nervous I say stupid things. I promise if you give me another chance I might start acting like a normal person.” Normal, there was the perfect word choice, okay, it was time to go crawl under a rock and die.
As he continued sitting there in silence, eyes wandering over the students and across the table, anywhere but in her direction, Shannon wondered if he was even listening to her. Oh well, all she could do was give it her best and move on. “Better yet, I might even start acting like myself and I swear there are people who like me, so it’s not like I’m completely unlikeable all of the time.”
The corner of his lips twitched slightly and in a last ditch effort Shannon added “and all I meant to say was that the only people here I know are Hagrid and Dumbledore and I had hoped to be near someone I knew so I could feel a little more comfortable.” It was silent a moment longer and she added as an afterthought “well, and Severus. I know him but I’m not sure I’d want to sit with him.”
Remus finally turned and smiled faintly but Shannon wasn’t convinced he had completely let go of the hurt. “Please eat your dinner, I’ll eat mine, maybe we can try that again?” Shannon held out her hand and said “Remus, I’m Shannon, I’m Canadian and I belong to you…Britain! Not… oh my gosh, you know what I mean.” She could feel the blush burning hot and spreading over her face. This seriously could not get more awkward even if she tried.
To her immense relief, Remus’s face broke into a broad smile and he took her hand laughing. “Pleased to meet you Shannon, I think our meals will be quite entertaining this year.”
Shannon shook her head, too embarrassed for words and just laughed. She took her hand back and turned to her plate thinking that there might not be any more meals if she went and threw herself off the cliff tonight. She would never live this down.
The rest of the meal passed in stilted conversation, Shannon trying to stick to the story of whom she was and why she was there while also trying to think up questions she could ask him without seeming like she knew too much.
Night was falling quickly now and Remus seemed in a rush. He stood and helped Shannon back into her cloak and wished her a good night. Fleeing to her room, Shannon threw the blasted cloak over a chair and herself on to the bed.
“You didn’t wish me luck Moss, did you? What a horrible horrible horrible night, ugh. What the hell am I even doing? I don’t even know.” Tears started streaming down her face as she beat herself up like she always did when, as usual, she made a complete fool of herself.
Fighting her thoughts for hours in an attempt to get some sleep, she felt a deep sadness when she realized she might have ruined her only chance to be close to someone she now understood, she really wanted to be close to. “Story of my life” she whispered into the darkness. Lost in self-loathing, she finally drifted to sleep.