I had been so careful, so precise in everything that I did so as not to leave a trail right behind us, and somehow, Darrell still found out? That wasn't possible.
"I didn't—there's nothing—where did you hear that?" I asked.
"You really couldn't have been much more obvious, since he talks really loud, and all you do is talk about your whales with him," Darrell replied, and I shook my head.
Darrell had me all figured out, didn't he?
"Please don't get mad at me. I only wanted someone who was actually interested in what I'm interested in, and I'm sorry," I said.
"He's not interested in whales, Reagan, and he's only interested in what you two are going to be doing for the one night he's here. I hate to be the one that bursts your bubble, but you're clearly too stupid to see this for what it really is."
I let out a breath. He meant Logan Two? I knew that the two Logans would just get confusing for everyone.
"But I already have other plans for tonight," I said. Drinking wine and chatting with Logan seemed better than anything else, especially given the circumstances.
"We're on an island in the middle of the ocean, so what other plans could you possibly have?" Darrell asked.
"Super fun ones," I mumbled.
"You're the least fun person I know." Darrell sighed. "Look, I'm trying everything within my power to not get extremely upset with you right now, since I know that you don't know why I have a strict no-romantic relationships rule here."
"Why is that?" I asked.
"The only reason I'm even here is because of a relationship that went bad. She had a boyfriend off the island that I didn't know about, and when I called her out on it, all of my work for the entire summer just magically appeared outside in the rain."
"That's horrible. Horrible that she did that, and horrible that that's your entire rationale for this rule."
"If it doesn't work, there's no sense in letting mistakes repeat themselves. I told you that I always like the evil ones, and I'm going to be straight with you, Reagan. After meeting the girl that plans on doing her project here next year—"
"Hailey?"
"Yes, her. Ever since I met her, all I can think about is how lucky I am that I didn't get stuck with someone like her. She makes you and Jia about ten thousand times more tolerable. You two aren't nearly as worthless as I originally thought."
"Worthless?" I asked.
"I mean no offense now, but—"
"Wow."
A heat rose up in my stomach. I had to prove myself to myself, my family, the entire state of West Virginia, plus my real Logan and pretty much everyone else who ever wasted a moment to care about me, and Darrell just had to add his name to the list?
The weight of everyone's opinions forced my feet to stay on the ground just like gravity.
"So it'd really be in your best interest to let Logan know that you're not interested, so nothing like my experience of Paradise City romance happens to you," Darrell said.
Even though we were supposed to be talking about Logan Two, my Logan One feelings slipped right out of my mouth. "I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but you don't control everyone here, and what I do doesn't affect you."
"You've known him for a few hours, and in a few more hours, he'll be gone, and you'll just be heartbroken and lonely," Darrell said.
Like there weren't worse things in the world, like ocean acidification and pollution.
"This isn't about him. It's about me, and it's about you. I'm tired of caring about what you think, since you're the only person here who's interested in bringing me down. And Jia, for that matter."
"I just don't want to have to carry you, so you can keep up after something goes wrong."
"I carry myself just fine. I don't let one person's unkindness ruin me." I paused for a moment. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm stressed, and I'm sorry."
"Rudeness is a tally mark, Reagan, but I'm sure you know that," Darrell said just as Brett called out that his special dinner was finished.
"Just put it on my chart," I mumbled.
***
As it turned out, Brett paired the butternut squash with some miso and a whole lot of other ingredients to make a soup, which was vegetarian-friendly for Jia and anyone else who needed it. It looked like carrot baby food, but Brett's knowledge of food outweighed mine by ten thousand times, so I trusted his instincts, just as he would trust mine if we were going whale-watching. I hoped he would, at least.
Logan One sat next to me like always, and with the extra chairs added to the table, my legs rested up against his. I didn't actually have to squish up next to him, but with Logan Two on my other side, I wanted to keep an emotional and physical distance there. Apparently, it wasn't the whales he was interested in. Besides, the comfort of Logan One's presence helped the stress seep out of my body with each breath I took.
"So what do you guys think? Isn't it great out here?" Jia asked.
"No," Hailey spat, and Jia laughed.
"It gets a little lonely, and the personal hygiene standards are low, and it rains a lot, but other than that, it's not too bad," Jia said.
"You're still interested in doing this, right?" I asked. "I know it's a big adjustment, but it's really great out here."
"It's just a shame that you won't be here next year, Reagan," Logan Two said, and I looked down at the floor.
"You could always sabotage her whale project, so she has to do it all over again, and I'm sure she'll appreciate that," Darrell said.
Logan Two stared back at Darrell, not with frustration or anger, and behind his eyes, there weren't any wheels turning.
"Don't do that," Hailey said. "I wouldn't be able to handle it."
"Did she do something to you?" Jia asked, then set her silverware down on the table. "Did Reagan actually do something to you?"
My eyes widened, and I looked down at the table. "Thank you for the soup, Brett. It's delicious."
"No, but that doesn't mean that I have to like her," Hailey replied.
"Well, no, you don't, but that doesn't mean that you can just be mean for no reason," Darrell said. "Trust me, I don't like her, but I'm never mean to her."
Jia forced out an annoyed laugh. "You can't be fucking serious right now."
"I'm sorry that this experience isn't right for you, but it's perfect for me," I said, then turned to Darrell. "And get my chart ready, because I have so much that I'd like to say to you."
"This isn't perfect for anyone who's normal. Look, I majored in psychology for a semester, so I think I know what I'm talking about," Hailey replied.
I didn't even bother reminding her that I didn't think she did, in fact, know what she was talking about.
"You're boring, and all you care about is whales," she continued.
That wasn't the worst thing to be obsessive over. At least I knew that I'm just a drop in the ocean of Earth.
I didn't say anything, though.
Even if she was right, that wasn't a bad thing. Right?
***
"I'm sorry, but did I do something today? Is there a reason people are being mean?" I asked Logan, who sat on the couch properly as I lounged across him.
As the night lulled on, everyone else had drifted away to sleep, but just like we had planned, Logan and I stayed up so things could feel normal again.
"The Paradise City equilibrium has been thrown off," he replied.
"What do you mean?"
"Everything is different. We added a bunch more people here, so now our equilibrium for the reaction is shifting. Everyone feels it, even the mastermind Jia, and no one likes it."
I frowned. "Yeah, I figured the next group would be a lot nicer and more excited about this opportunity like I was."
"We should build a wall," Logan said, and I smiled.
"Maybe we should. We have to keep our equilibrium intact," I said. "I'm sure the seals would appreciate it."
"It'd keep those damn killer whales out."
With a glass in my hand, I laughed. "Do you think I'm fun?"
"I'm literally having the time of my life right now, Rea," Logan said flatly.
"So you don't think I'm fun?"
"If I didn't find you the slightest bit entertaining, I wouldn't talk to you."
I smiled, mostly because he wasn't lying. He hadn't made an effort to talk to any of the outsiders, and unlike me, he didn't really care about what happened on the island after we were gone.
"Being fun is overrated, anyway. You can have a good head on your shoulders that only looks forward and still be one of the best people to be around," Logan continued.
I smiled.
"I'm not saying that's you, since I know you like to peek over your shoulders every now and then, but there's nothing wrong with the way you are," Logan said.
"Nothing ever changes unless you're willing to leave certainty behind."
"Was this a good change?"
I nodded. "I feel like I can finally be happy."
I wasn't entirely sure what change he was referring to, but anything that entailed being on the island was automatically worth the cost for me, even though, apparently, some people didn't think so.
"The longer I stay out here in the middle of nowhere, the more I don't want to leave. We'll be forced to actually talk to people and shit." Logan shook his head. "Just the thought of it makes me want to drown myself."
"Don't be dramatic," I said with a slight laugh. "I don't want to ever leave either, but for different reasons."
"Maybe we should just buy an island and never invite anyone there. That way we're both happy."
I hesitated for a moment. He had never mentioned anything after the summer, especially with a we, and maybe it just never occurred to me that there could possibly be a we post-Paradise City. We. Us. Weird.
"And we'll surround it with walls like a castle," he continued.
"With little peek holes so we can see what's going on outside," I added.
Logan laughed. "Yeah, that's good. We'll bring Blue and Racecar, and that pretty much covers everything I could ever want all in one place."
"That sounds perfect," I said, but did it really?
Yeah. I didn't need much else. I had proven it over several months away from everything else. We didn't need the internet too much, except to Google the occasional question and watch nature documentaries, and we didn't need showers (although, admittedly, my hair felt ten pounds lighter since I had given it a proper wash, and my face responded well to more than a baby-wipe quick cleanse).
"Could—could we just get proper plumbing out there?" I asked.
"How?"
I shrugged. "I'm not a plumbing expert."
"You're a fucking idiot."
"Keep talking," I said.
He rose an eyebrow. "What?"
"At this point, all I hear is the opposite of what you actually say. You think I'm brilliant. Keep going."
"And I can't stand it when you get really excited about everything, because your smile just makes me wish I was dead, and that Kim Possible turtleneck is the least attractive I've ever seen you, and I hate you."
I smiled. "You're enjoying this too much."
"It's nice being around someone who just lets me figure myself out. You already know all that, but me? I have no idea what I'm doing." He let out a breath. "And saying whatever shit crosses my mind gets me to that point, so you just deal with it."
"There are better ways to figure yourself out, but I get what you mean. I'm not perfect either."
"You're telling me."
I couldn't quite see his face through the darkness, but I gazed in its general direction.
"Say something," he said.
"I—What do you want me to say?" I replied, and as I finished my sentence, his lips were up against mine. The beginnings of his facial hair pricked my skin, and his hand froze the skin through the Kim Possible turtleneck that he hated so much.
"Nothing really. Just wanted to figure out where your mouth is," he mumbled and kissed me again.
The little bit of wine in my system liked that, and the rest of me did too. His harsh exterior could only cover his gentle touch for so long, and it was a little reassuring that I was maybe not as bad with people as I used to think. Were there times I missed my old people and everyone I left behind for this moment? Of course. But it felt pretty good to have someone who actually wanted to share the paradise with me.
When the summer came to an end, we would no longer have to keep everything in the dark. And maybe we'd somehow buy an entire island after paying off our student loans and keep everything to ourselves by choice. Or before paying off our loans. I hoped for before.
A flash of white light lit up the room, and before I could turn away from Logan to see why Thor himself decided to grace us with his presence, Brett's voice replaced the booming God of Thunder's.
"Logan? Reagan?"
I sucked in a gasp of air.
There wasn't any Logan confusion that could save me this time.
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Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading!
So now things get interesting, huh? How do you think this is going to end for Brett, Logan, and Rea?