"I'll seek you out
Flay you alive
One more word and you won't survive
And I'm not scared of your stolen power
See right through you any hour"
***
The car ride to the coffee shop was tense and quiet, Harrys anxiety and annoyance over me coming with him, being the main factor mixed with the realisation that Maurine had been lying to both of us the entire time the cause of it.
He did not look impressed at all.
It was just hitting 7pm, and I knew Maurine would still be at the coffee shop, she would always stay back until at least 8pm of a night to get things ready for the next morning and my anxiety is sitting firmly in my throat over what I'm going to say or how I'm going to feel when I see her.
While I've grown leaps and bounds with my confidence, confrontation still isn't something I'm comfortable with, especially in regards to people I care about, and I care about Maurine.
She was such a big part of my life for so long and now it all feels like a complete lie.
It hasn't escaped me either, during the drive there as I thought more that Maurine is literally the entire reason I ever met Andy, if it wasn't for her and her relationship with David, Andy wouldn't have gone to that coffee shop considering how far away it is from his work and home, but back then I never really questioned why he went there.
Maurine never seemed to like my relationship with Andy but was never vocal about it, and that makes no sense either, but you could just tell from her mannerisms and facial expressions that she wasn't fond of us being together when I would talk about him, or she would see us together.
Did she not want me with her nephew? Is it me that she didn't like? But then why give me a job? Why be so lovely and caring towards me?
God I wish things these days made a lick of sense any more, I can't tell up from down any more.
Pulling up out the front of the coffee shop, with Steve and Jimmy parking behind us sent my heart hammering in my chest, I'm still trying to absorb all of this and deal with the sharp pain that someone else I trusted has figuratively kicked me in the teeth.
I could never do that to a person, lie to them, mislead them or trick them, and I just can't fathom how people are capable of it.
"You're sure about this, coming in with me?" Harry checks, looking over to me as he unbuckles his seatbelt with a tense expression.
"Yes, I'm sure" I tell him, following his action with my own seatbelt, and taking a coaxing breath.
"I still don't like this, not one bit" he says, not hiding his annoyance and worry over me being stubborn and not backing down over it.
"I know. But I'll be okay, I'll listen to you. I just need to find out why" I say, trying to sound reassuring but I don't think anything I say would make him feel better, it seems like any amount of risk in a situation when it comes to me just isn't something that will ever sit well with Harry.
He blows out an annoyed sigh, nodding begrudgingly, and opens the door to get out of the car and I follow.
I look to Jimmys car, where Steve waves reassuringly from the drivers seat while Jimmy gives me a thumbs up from the passenger side, I also notice Jimmy his holding a bag of some kind of food - are they nuts?; chewing with a wide open mouthed grin.
Is he ever not eating?
Harry gives them a confirming nod, which they return as Jimmy shovels another handful of nuts into his mouth.
They discussed what they would do before we all left, after Jimmy and Harry argued over his demand that we all play Bad Boys in each car, loudly, with the windows down as we drove to the Cafe which ended up in another instance of Harry chasing Jimmy trying to strangle him, when he teased Harry saying
"Sorry, guess it's the wrong theme song for you these days, let me find something that screams 'I'm a soft little bitch' "
I tried not to laugh, but when Jimmy locked himself in his own car to escape Harry, only to pull his pants down and press his bare ass to the passenger window for Harry to stare at, yelling
"Suck my ass nancy boy! Bad boys for life!"
I lost it, I absolutely lost my shit cackling. However Harrys annoyed glare as he stomped towards his own car quickly made me clamp my mouth shut, covering it with my hand to keep my fits of giggles in.
I suppose that's also what had him in such a sour mood on the drive to the coffee shop, I swear Jimmy has a death wish sometimes, with the way he taunts Harry. But I've noticed over time, that while Harry acts like it infuriates him, I think it's one of the things he adores most about Jimmy even if he would never admit it.
Harry and I walk towards the front door of the coffee shop, stopping in front of it when blaring music starts to play from Jimmys car, the exact same song he played from his phone before we left and Harry looks over his shoulder slowly, glaring daggers while Jimmy sits there with a shit eating grin, chewing on his nuts and twinkling his fingers at Harry.
"Just ignore him, let him have his fun" I urge Harry, placing my hand on his shoulder, worried he may actually just take the gun from his waist and shoot Jimmy at this point.
"Can't fucking take him anywhere" Harry mutters, shaking his head with an irritated hard stare before turning back to the locked door in front of us, banging on it loudly with a closed fist.
I can still see a light on inside through the dark tinted glass between the slatted blinds on the other side of the door, so I know for sure she's still here and now my stomach is in my throat, I have no idea what's going to happen when she opens that door.
Harry repeats the action of banging his fist against the door again, harder this time to the point I'm worried he's going to shatter the glass.
Calm down. The door didn't do anything, no need to take your aggression out on it.
"We're closed sorry!" Maurine's sweet voice sings out from the other side of the door, and my heart sinks.
I know most people would probably be furious in this situation, like Harry is, but honestly I'm just devastated, I'm more sad than angry at all.
"It's Harry and Abby" Harry replies loudly, morphing the tone of his voice into a surprisingly cheerful tone that looks terrifying mixed with the furious look on his face.
"Oh gosh! I've haven't seen you two in forever! What a lovely surprise! One second!" Maurine's excited voice comes through the door and I fight the urge to cry.
Somehow I think she's not going to enjoy this surprise, especially with Harry, when she opens that door.
Harry glares at the door, his jaw sharp set hard as he grinds his teeth, placing his hand protectively on my lower back, sliding it to my hip and pulling me closer to him.
"Fucking liar" he hisses under his breath, tensing his fingers against me.
I hold my breath, my heart feeling like it stops in my chest as I hear her footsteps approach the door, the squeak of her old tennis shoes hitting the hardwood before the sound stops when she reaches the door.
The click and clank of locks unlatching sound from the opposite side of the door, before the knob is turning and the bell attached to it jingles as it swings open revealing Maurines warm bright face.
However, there is something different, the normal happy glow to her face is replaced with sadness that she's trying unsuccessfully to hide as she looks at both of us, gesturing with her hand for us to come in as she speaks.
"Come in, come in you two, it's been so long - even longer since I've seen you honey" she says, looking to me and Harrys arm tenses while I force a small fake smile on my face, nodding while my heart feels like its being choked.
Harry urges me to walk forward, keeping right next to me as we walk inside past Maurine, until we're inside and she shuts the door, locking it again behind us.
"Gosh, so what do I owe this lovely surprise visit to? How have you two been? Did that surprise work out like you hoped Harry dear?" she asks affectionely, glancing between both of us with her timid hands folded in front of her hips, the small smile playing on her lips but it looks so mournful.
Harry drops his arm from me, and I'm trying to think of what to say but my words are stuck in my throat as it swells, I feel like I'm grieving, like the person I cared about for so long that's standing in front of me doesn't even exist.
It looks like the Maurine I knew, it sounds like her and she has her eyes, but it's not the same person, I don't know this person at all.
"It went really well actually, thanks for the help" Harry speaks up, sounding calm - too calm.
I see out of the corner of my eye his hand move, but I don't register what's happening until he pulls his gun from the back of his waist band and points it directly at Maurine.
"Now do you want to explain to me why you've been lying to both of us all these months - I'd think carefully about your words old gal, they may be the last ones you have" he says lowly, his voice morphing into that passive chilling tone I've seen him use so many times before.
Maurines face drops into shock and fear as she clutches her hands to her chest with a gasp, at the same time that my mouth drops and I feel like I'm going to vomit up my own intestines.
"Harry - what are you-" I say quickly in panic "Please put the gun down, there is no need for that, she's an old woman not a gang member - we just came to find out what was going on"
My heart thunders that loud I can hear it in my ears, I've seen Harry threaten people, but I've never seen him literally point a gun at someone and threaten to kill them with so much coldness to him, like the idea doesn't phase him at all, especially someone I know so personally.
Not for one second did I think we were coming here to hurt Maurine, I thought he brought that gun in case something happened, in case David was here or - I don't know, but not this.
"Harry I - Abby, Im so - How did you - oh my god" Maurine stutters trying to get some kind of jumbled words out, her hands trembling against her chest as she stares between Harry and the gun in his hand in terror.
Harrys jaw tightens as he looks at her, not wavering his eyesight like he doesn't trust her to even look away for a second "I don't know what she's capable of" he says, giving her a distasteful once over "Being related to David, it can't be anything good"
My breathing gets faster as I look back and forth between them, Maurine looking like her heart is about to give out and Harry looking completely emotionless aside from the bitterness in his eyes under his furrowed brows.
"Harry please, I don't want to hurt her - I just wanted to talk" I beg him quickly, terrified that there's a possible outcome that I may watch the person I'm in love with murder someone in front of me, that person being someone that I considered a mother to me all these years.
Harrys nostril twitches, as he keeps the gun raised, gesturing it at Maurine and he lifts his brows with a warning "She better start talking then"
I dart my eyes to Maurine, rushing my words out frantically "You need to explain. Why did you do it? We know you had the envelope with those photos, we know you're Davids sister"
Maurine is frozen, just staring at Harry like she's a petrified animal, but guilt and remorse consume her face as her eyes start to water, and she swallows heavily with her lips trembling in fear as she tries to speak.
"I'm - I'm so s-sorry-" she tries to start but Harry cuts her off quickly.
"That's a useless fucking word, so cut the shit and start explaining" he says through his teeth, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes "now"
"You weren't suppose to know about the photos!" Maurine bursts in panic, squeezing her eyes shut like staring at the image of Harry pointing a gun at her is far too much to cope with.
Frankly I can't blame her, I can't imagine how that feels, I can't cope watching it.
I know what she did was unforgivable, and horrible - but again, I don't like hurting people and even though she hurt me, I hate how scared she looks.
That blissful period where I almost forgot Harry had this side of him has been very violently shattered, and I honestly don't know how to feel about it.
I do not agree with this at all. It's one thing to act this callous with a violent man like Andy or even someone as evil as David, even though I've never seen it to this extent - but to do it with Maurine is another thing entirely.
Would he really shoot her?
Harry scoffs, sounding condescending "We weren't suppose to know? You know a smart person wouldn't bullshit the guy pointing a gun at their head right now. I'm fairly sure breaking into Abbys apartment and leaving them on her table isn't the best way to hide those fucking photos"
Maurine presses her shaking hands to her cheeks, breathing rapidly as she keeps her eyes clamped closed and shakes her head, stammering out her words "Harry I'm not lying to you - swear it on everything I have, that's why I put the pictures there - so you would know about them, so you could do something - to warn you, I didn't want you to know it was me but I needed you to know about what was happening"
"You're running out of words Maurine, I'd stop fucking lying and tell the truth" Harry sneers with a callous warning, looking like he thinks anything that would leave her mouth would be fraudulent.
"Harry!" I burst at him, at my wits end with all of this "You asked her to explain! So let her explain! Then decide if she's lying and for god sake put the fucking gun down!"
The dismay in my voice makes Harry pause, and he glances sideways at me, pressing his lips together flatly. While he may be totally fine with scaring Maurine, he's not fine with scaring me and I know that he can tell right now that's exactly what he's doing.
He sighs heavily, looking to Maurine "Fine - I swear if you pull one fucking stunt I'll show you just how accurate of an aim I am with this thing - am I understood?" he says, and Maurine nods frantically.
"I won't - won't do anything. I understand why you're so angry but I never wanted to hurt anyone, I would never hurt anyone - I'll tell you whatever you want" she assures, her voice trembling as she peels her red glassy eyes open, looking to Harry like she's heartbroken over the hateful way he's looking at her.
"I don't fucking trust you" he says lowly, as he starts to lower the gun, keeping his grip firm while his arm drops to his side and he gestures his head towards me "But I trust her - so start talking"
I honestly feel like I'm about to faint from all of this stress, the intensity of this situation is something I haven't dealt with, someone having a gun pointed at them, the person holding the gun someone I'm hopelessly in love with. How is someone meant to cope with this?
Not to mention I have to try and process and deal with everything happening with Maurine, absorb what she's saying and trying to figure out if it's the truth.
All the while seeing Harry stand there, barely batting an eye at the whole situation, like this is as familiar to him as getting dressed in the morning.
These are our two separate worlds colliding, and now I really do understand more why he's tried so hard to keep me away from it, I'm not handling it well at all.
Maurine blows out quick frantic breaths through puckered lips, as if she's trying to stop herself from hyperventilating and compose herself once Harry has dropped the gun to his side, and he won't take his un-trusting stare off her; but he moves his free hand to rest on the middle of my back, smoothing it in slow circles like he's trying to apologise silently for scaring me.
"I-I... Oh fudge sticks I don't even know where to start" she rushes out, her voice wavering with emotion as she shakes her hands in frustration near her face.
The only thing I wish, is that I was as composed as Harry right now, that my brain could function in the streamline manner that his seems to so I could think of what to ask first, I had so many questions before we got here and now my mind is like static with them all mixing together and spinning around.
"Start with those photos we apparently weren't meant to know about" Harry orders, not wavering from his composed demeanour but I know him too well, his tense jaw and the look in his eyes give away to me that he isn't emotionless about this.
In fact I think that's the problem, I think he's feeling too much - I think Maurine has hurt him, and that's part of the reason he's being so cold hearted with her, because she betrayed him too.
Considering how protective Harry is of me, the notion that Maurine has also hurt me, put me in danger and betrayed me would also be fueling the flames inside him - I know Harry doesn't trust people, and he doesn't get close with them, it takes a lot after what people have done to him but he let his guard down with Maurine, confided in her and developed a soft spot for her.
I really don't think he knows how to process the betrayal, not like I would or someone that isn't as emotionally and psychologically wounded as he is.
But that doesn't make this okay, you can't just point guns at people, helpless people that aren't being threatening or violent, he keeps going on about bad people that deserve it, well I don't think Maurine deserved that.
It could just be my overactive empathy, my overwhelming compassion - I'm not sure, but this was too much.
I really don't know if I could sit with the fact of him being able to shoot her, murder her over albeit something fucked up - but nothing compared to what someone like David has done, I really don't know how to be okay with that... And I don't want to be.
While right now this is about finding out what's going on with Maurine, it's also opened another glaring door with Harry that I need to address, and I'm not sure if I'll like how it turns out.
"David wanted those pictures of Abby, he was collecting them, to use against you - he forced me to take them, I would never want to do something like that to her" Maurine looks to me with her eyes filled with tears, her brows tilting in remorse with a grief stricken look all over her face.
"He doesn't know that you know about them. You weren't meant to know, I was trying to figure out a way to show you but I couldn't tell you - I didn't know what else to do...Abby sweetheart I am so so sorry, I'm so sorry you're involved in this, I'm sorry for everything" she chokes, pressing her trembling fingers to her lips as she blinks at the dampness in her eyes, shaking her head like she can't think of the right words to say.
My own eyes burn as they gloss over, and I look at the ground, struggling to see the devastated expression on her face, my nerves are shot to shit and my heart is breaking, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to believe.
"So you're the one that took the photos?" Harry says bluntly, glaring holes at Maurine with not an ounce of sympathy for the state she's in.
Maurine nods regretfully, inhaling sharply while she tries to choke her words out "I had to, he said it was either me or he was organising one of his connections to do it... I didn't want them to hurt Abby..."
"You took photos of me in the shower..." I say softly, my voice breaking as I try to swallow my emotions down and my shoulders deflate "You gave him pictures of me naked... That's hurting me Maurine... Do you have any idea how violated I felt? How ashamed? How could you do that?"
Harry tenses next to me, his hand sliding to hold my waist as he squeezes it and Maurines voice cuts in, holding her hands up while she shakes her head so fast I think she's going to give herself whiplash.
"No he doesn't have those - I never gave those to him, he asked me to take them but I told him you weren't home, he's still threatening me, demanding I take them - that's why I left them in the envelope, I needed you to see what he's doing, I could never give him photos like that of you Abby" she promises, sounding like she's swearing her soul on every word.
I don't know whether to feel relieved or not, I don't know if that's true, but regardless there's still the fact she took them, that she's done all of this.
I don't even know what to say, I just hang my head, fiddling with my fingers as my entire chest aches like I have jagged glass through it.
"Why you?" Harry asks with a harsh tone, irritation laced in his voice at the mention of those specific pictures "Why did he want you to take them? He wouldn't just let you do it over his normal pick for this sort of thing. This isn't fucking adding up Maurine - You knew who I was this whole time, you knew I was spending time with Abby, and you hid the fact you were his fucking sister - how do I know any of this is the god damn truth?"
"No Harry I had no idea you were Matthews son, you looked a bit familair when I first met you but I didn't know Matthew well, I haven't seen him in over 28 years - I didn't know until David came here furious after Andy was put in hospital, asking about you and why I had hidden the fact Abby was spending time with someone - that you would come here to see her - Andy told him everything, that when David told me about you, he wanted to know everything I knew" She explains, struggling to keep her words coherent and make sense with how frazzled and distraught she is.
Harry sucks in a sharp breath at the mention of his father's name, like hearing it slapped him but Maurine continues before he can speak again, and I'm just trying to fucking keep up with it.
"He knows how much I care about Abby, I make it obvious because I love that girl like my own daughter. He was punishing me for keeping things from him - from Andy, for embarrassing him. He knew Abby trusted me, I do not like my brother Harry, there's a reason I hide it - that man is a horrible person but I can't change the fact he's my brother - I'm terrified of him" Maurine throws her hands down by her sides in defeat, looking between the two of us has she chokes on her breath.
Harry grits his jaw, his brows furrowed deeply like he's trying to decide on what to make of what she's saying.
"You said he threatened you. With what?" he questions with his voice tense, pulling me closer to him.
Maurine swallows glancing to the gun in Harrys hand, then back to us "You pointing that gun is far less terrifying than what my brother would do to me Harry" she says solemnly, as she looks to the ground, wiping at her eyes quickly and looking back to us with guilt in her eyes, but there's a unmistakable dread there as well.
"He threatened to have me 'dealt with' if I didn't do what he said, if I ever told either of you"
Maurine focuses her eyes on me, her brows puckering in grief as her lips tremble.
"And once he was done with me, he was going after Abby too. I couldn't let that happen Harry - I need to protect her, I need you to protect her"
***
Oof, this was a long ass complicated chapter.
We still got another one to go though - my brain hurts.