The days went by slower than what I had hoped. Pierce was true to his word and every morning and evening he worked with me on my speech. The first few days were harder than I had anticipated. I didn't like this new change. My tongue was too fat in my mouth to pronounce words properly, and every time I messed up Pierce's left eye would twitch. By the third day he had walked out in the middle of the lesson and didn't return until late into the evening. I could tell I was getting under his skin with my lack of progress, or really inability to pick up on things quickly. In my defense though, it had only been a few hours spread out over three days, but Pierce lacked patience and I lacked skill. Combined the two were like a freight train that derailed.
This continued for 2 weeks, and my progress was barely noticeable. I still refused to speak, but when he forced me, his face would go red, and he would start breathing heavily in an act to calm himself. I was becoming scared of his reactions to my lack of skill. I knew it was only a matter of time before I received a punishment for not doing it properly.
"There has to be an easier way to do this." Pierce mumbled to himself. I looked at him with sad eyes. I really was trying my hardest. I was seated at the kitchen island, and Pierce was pacing opposite of me. We had just worked on me saying 'Hello' and it had come out sounding like 'Ha-Ro'. I was embarrassed, and he was angry.
"Maybe we should call a doctor?" He had a thoughtful look on his face before shaking his head. "No, humans ask too many question, and a shifter doctor wont see a branded wolf." Pierce started growling in frustration, scratching the nap of his neck roughly. He continued his pacing looking over at me every so often.
"Should I call my sister?" He stopped pacing and looked long and hard at me before shaking his head. "Fuck, she'd kill you if she knew you were here. Ugh!" I just watched him, he hadn't given me many details about himself or how his kind lived, but what I did know was that he was voluntarily living apart from his kin. There was a deep seeded hatred for Were Wolves, especially for my old pack, and I knew there was a reason why he kept me here.
A hand slammed down onto the table causing me to jump. "That's it!" Without another word Pierce grabbed himself a jacket and left, leaving me alone. I didn't move, it was an unspoken rule between us, but whenever he left I didn't leave the spot he left me in. When he would return home I was always patted on the head, and then he would allow me to follow him around the house. I wasn't allowed outside, but l truly had no desire to go out. My wolf felt the itch to venture out, but he too wasn't so sure about the outdoors. In our limited experience with going outside, we knew that beyond the walls that kept us safe was a punishment awaiting us, and it wasn't something either my wolf or I looked forward to.
I was content here. I felt safe, and I wasn't restless, I was happy staying within the walls of the small house. However, I knew this was temporary. Something happened between Pierce and my-- I mean Clyde's pack. That was something I was trying to correct myself on daily. Clyde wasn't my Alpha. I was never apart of his pack, I was merely a pawn in a plan he had devised. Apart of me wanted and tried to stay in denial, but my wolf would play the conversation between Pierce and I back into my head. His words about me being forced into a role in which my wolf would have been the one to decide on, was something I couldn't argue about. Had my start in life been different, I could possibly be happily mated within a pack that loved and cherished me.
There was too much evidence to back up what Pierce had told me. The things Kain had said, Levi, Ben, they all had dropped hints that something was amiss within my old pack. I was just to naive and ignorant to know or understand. The truth still hurt, and it was hard to get rid of the times I felt happy being next to Clyde. The pats on my head used to bring me such joy, it was hard to think that he did that as a way to groom me for a purpose I didn't want to think about. Then there was him.
'You are mine.' His face, his voice still haunted me. Nightmares still woke me up at night, and Pierce didn't always come to my rescue. It wasn't Clyde that haunted them, it was him. There was never a second of my day that my thoughts didn't drift to his voice, his face, his promise. Beta would eventually find me. His actions against me wouldn't be punishable since I've been branded. It was obvious that I had been the problem, and I had cause the Beta to act the way he did. Even if Clyde had been the one to groom me into what I've become, Beta wouldn't have reacted the way he did if Clyde hadn't did what he did. Beta was innocent and just a bystander to the actions of another. A domino effect in a cruel world. Maybe he felt anger towards me because Clyde forced him to do things that went against the laws? Maybe Beta's mate had died and his wolf wanted me, but was denied the very thing that could soothe his wolf? If I had been a better Omega, I would have been able to soothe his beast, I would have been able to comfort him. If and when Beta finds me, I'll be sure to apologize to him for being incompetent and useless. If he wants my life, I'll take responsibility for not doing my duty to the pack.
I moved my eyes to the window that was behind the sink, overlooking the yard. The sun was slowly descending, another day was ending. Nothing was accomplished, Pierce left again, and I was here again alone.
Alone.
Shaking my thoughts away, I laid my head down on the table and closed my eyes. Tired. My body felt more tired as of late. Maybe the lack of sleep and the nightmares were wearing my wake mind down to the point where I couldn't learn properly. Maybe I should inform Pierce that if I could take a small nap I could learn better? It was a possibility, but after the first week he had taken away my notepad saying that I was relaying on it too much and I needed to try harder. I knew he would just become angry if I tried to voice my need for sleep. I let a sigh out, I needed to stop using excuses for myself. I shouldn't upset him, I needed to be better. Maybe if I learned faster and showed I could do it, he'd want me to stay? Maybe I could become useful to him?
Or maybe he would ask me to leave sooner.
Was I purposely not doing well so that I don't have to leave? Was I truly trying my hardest?
Breathing in, I tried to turn off my mind. I was tired, and I could take a small nap before Pierce returned. I'd never done it before because I was worried about his reaction. I wasn't sure if he'd get angry at me or not. At this moment though, with my head resting on the island, the sun shining a deep orange, and the dark slowly taking over, it was a serene and I just didn't want to care about the consequences of my actions. There was no movement, a possible leak in the faucet was the only noise that made me remember that time was still moving though my mind wished for time to freeze. I just wanted to sleep.
My wolf was silent, it felt empty. He was tired too. He was my strength most days, yet I never allowed him out. It was a struggle, but I didn't think it was necessary for him to be out. I wasn't sure Pierce would like it if he was. Punishment? Is that what would happen?
I wasn't sure when the sun fully went to bed, or when the darkness overtook the sky completely, but I never moved, and I didn't allow myself to succumb to the need for sleep. I would be a good Omega.
Time continued to pass and I wasn't sure how much time did go by before I started to hear something. Slowly I raised my head, I could make out his familiar foot steps in the distance. Pierce was home. His steps were familiar to my sensitive ears, his smell that had become slightly stale while he was gone would soon become fresh once more. I turned toward the entrance of the kitchen where he would come through, and waited patiently for him.
The door opened and closed and I fought myself from standing up and running to it. Stay. My wolf was even up excited to see the face that housed us.
"Toby!" He called from the door and I stopped myself from going to the voice. It wasn't a call of summons, I had to stay put. "Toby! I have a solution!" Pierce sounded excited and soon he was walking through the archway towards me. I gave a small smile to him, trying to mask the excitement I felt at seeing him. It felt like forever, the need to be with someone at all times was strong. I didn't feel right being alone and having another presence in the room helped take my mind off things.
I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. "Here, look." Pierce sat beside me and held out a book to me. It was a book on pronunciation. "You need to read this, and from here on out you will talk whenever you want or need something. If I ask you a question you will answer, understood?" I just blinked at him. This was his idea? How would this help?
"Understood?" His voice got low and a dark look came over his eyes as I continued to not answer. Did I understand? Yes, but did I agree? Not entirely. I knew if I wanted to please him I had to get over this hurdle and talk, but I was scared and I was content not speaking. He gave my a frustrated scowl. "Don't forget that you ended up branded because of your inability to speak." Pierce spoke to me harshly and I turned my head away from him. He growled and grabbed my chin, yanking it back so I was once again looking at him, eyes lowered enough to not be challenging. "I've been patient enough with you mutt, put some fucking effort into this and stop wasting my time. I'm doing you a favor because I pity you, don't forget I can kick you out of here and I can bet your sweet ass, you wont survive long outside this house." I flinched at his words as he spoke. The truth was evident. I had no survival skills, I had no way of protecting myself, and I knew I wouldn't last long. Omega or not, I should know by now that what I truly was, was a stain to all.
"Yes." I tried hard to say my answer correctly. My voice wasn't loud though, and I purposefully mumbled the response he wanted.
"Louder."
I squeezed my eyes shut. I hated the sound of my voice, I hated the way my tongue felt so heavy inside my mouth, an obstacle I didn't want to deal with.
"Yes-th." Doing as asked, I rouse my voice and spoke louder knowing my nerves made my tongue larger and my speech more clumsy. The pronounced 's' sound came out as if I had a lisp.
"You can do better, focus, the 's' doesn't make a 'th' sound." I wanted to growl. I was focused, I was trying. He just didn't understand me. This was too hard.
Frustration got the better of me as I yelled out, "Yes!" I hadn't meant to shout, but my tired body was making me edgy.
"Better." Was all he said as he patted my head and released my jaw. I wanted to swat the hand away, wanted to kick and scream, but I also wanted more of his attention. Standing up he made his way over to the refrigerator. "I ate while I was out, do you want soup from last night or a sandwich?" I watched him with a weary mind. I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. Looking at my hands I thought long and hard about my next response. I didn't want to go to bed, going to bed meant being alone, and I didn't want that. I also didn't feel like eating.
Breathing in I slowly tried to tell Pierce what I wanted. "No, mowie." I didn't meet his eyes, I knew I messed up. I could hear with my own ears that I messed up the 'v'.
"You need to eat first and then we can watch a movie. You still are too skinny to skip a meal." He sighed but I didn't look over to him. I truly didn't feel like eating, but over the last 2 weeks Pierce ensured I ate multiple times throughout the day. I had gained weight, my body having adjusted to a larger intake of food. My ribs still showed but my face looked plumper. I didn't feel stronger though, if anything I felt worse but I didn't complain. "Eat some soup and bread." I nodded and waited as he rummaged around the kitchen heating up the leftover chicken noddle soup and grabbing my a slice of bread.
After a few minutes the dish was set before me and silently I ate. Pierce watched me with a close eye as I consumed all the food. When I was done, I grabbed my plate and bowl and moved to the sink to wash them as was the routine that he expected of me after meals.
As I washed hands gripped my shoulders. I stopped and didn't move as they ran down the length of my arms. I felt his body get closer to mine, and I felt the urge to step back and feel the warmth of his back against me. My wolf was urging me to do so, but I refrained. This wasn't a new occurrence. Lately when I wash dishes Pierce would caress me tenderly like this. It was welcomed, it satisfied the yearning I had for contact. I wasn't sure why he did this but, it was becoming a ritual, no words were spoken during this. Reaching past my hands, Pierce turned the water off and turned me to face him. I kept my eyes downcast.
A hand came up and cupped my cheek while the other stayed planted on my arm. I closed my eyes at the warmth I felt from the touch. His forehead came into contact with mine, and he just rested it there. My eyes closed and I felt my heart rate increase. This was something he hadn't done before. The hand, the close proximity of our faces, all of this was new. Did I do something wrong? "I'm trying to help you." His breath blew over my face as he spoke. "Why are you fighting it?" I squeezed my eyes shut tight, feeling emotions bubble up and get caught in my throat. My wolf yipped his pleasure at Pierces nearness, the Cats scent sending shivers down my spine. I didn't know what to respond with, so I stayed silent.
"Toby, let me help you." The pull to reach out to the Cat in front of me and bury my nose into his neck was almost to strong to ignore. I wanted to be embraced by him, wanted to feel secure in his words, wanted to please him and make him happy. I just couldn't. I was a joke, a pitiful creature that didn't deserve kindness or attention. Punishments were what I deserved. I was taking Pierce's tolerance of me for granted and I needed to stop. Taking a deep breath in I smiled up at him, making sure to avoid his eyes before I spoke.
"Mooo-v-ie?" Chuckling at my question and lack of response to him, he just shook his head and stepped away from me.
"Sure, let's go watch a movie." Releasing me, he turned around and made his way into the living area where the T.V. was. I hadn't been allowed to watch T.V. at my old packs house, even when Kain took over, I still wasn't allowed to watch. It was amazing seeing the pictures move across the screen. Pierce didn't seem like he enjoyed watching the television, but he put up with it at night.
I waited behind the sofa as he set the television up. I didn't know anything about the content he had, so he never asked me to pick, instead he choose something for the both of us. I liked it that way, I wouldn't know what to decide if he asked anyway.
"Turn that light off." I stepped over to the far wall and flipped the light switch and made my way back over just as Pierce was sitting down on the couch. Stepping closer, I sat beside him as was our routine. I never sat too close to him but I did sit close enough that if I were to lean slightly over your shoulders could touch. I wanted that comfort but fear didn't allow me the extra inch.
"This is my sisters favorite movie." I nodded my head and sat back to watch. My body was heavy, I really didn't care for what was on the screen, my goal had been to not be alone and now sleep urged my eyes closed and the feeling of safety I got next to Pierce didn't help keep my eyes open. I wanted just a little bit of restful sleep and I knew this moment would be my chance to achieve it.
Glancing over to Pierce, I made sure his eyes were directed at the screen before I allowed my own to shut. The last thing I remember was the feeling of drifting off into a much needed sleep before the darkness took hold of me.
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AN: Hello!! If you haven't seen the updates on my profile or been notified the update schedule of AO as changed a bit. Only 3 updates a month. I'll be skipping every third Thursday of the month in favor of Bambi(which is now up with it's 1st chapter. Please check it out and let me know what you think.). For now this will be the plan. I'll be editing AO tomorrow. I've switched a lot of the chapters over into a word doc for ease of editing. You might even get a new update tomorrow night. (I'm pulling an all-nighter to score myself some concert tickets so I'll be up late since the tickets are going on sale in a different timezone. Wish me luck! It's my favorite band so I hope I get them, haha.)
With that, hope everyone was able to enjoy!!