"Look, Sam," Gabriel started. "I'm really really sorry-"
"Shut up," Sam replied. "Fuck you. I hate you. Go die in a hole." Gabriel opened his mouth to reply, but then Sam kept talking. "Except that you better not die in a hole or I will personally drag you out of the Empty with my bare hands and beat your ass for daring to die on me again."
"Okay,"
"And that DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU," Sam declared. "I don't like you! Not even a little bit! You're not allowed to die on me, and yes, you're kind of cute, but I still hate you."
"....Is sex still in the picture, or has that ship sailed....?"
"Fuck you."
"You said that already." Sam stared at him for a moment and then threw up his hands.
"Fuck me."
"That's what I want to do!" Gabriel insisted.
"NO."
"Why not?"
"Because you're an asshole!"
"Why am I an asshole??"
"Because you MURDERED MY BROTHER OVER A HUNDRED TIMES!"
"That was over a decade ago, move on."
"YOU TRAPPED US IN TV HELL!"
"And it was hilarious, even you have to admit that."
"I got hit in the groin with a freaking ball!"
"...Okay, that I will apologize for. I should not have messed with my personal favorite part of you."
"YOU-" Sam let out a cry that was somewhere between a screech or rage and a groan. He grabbed a book off his desk and started beating the archangel with it.
"OW!" Gabriel yelped, even though the book didn't hurt him in the slightest.
"You let me think you were dead while you moved to Monte Carlo and banged pornstars!!" Sam yelled. "THAT'S WHY YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!"
"And you're a dick. That's why we work so well together."
"FUCK OFF!" Gabriel snatched the book out of Sam's hands and climbed up on the hunter's bed so that they were an even height.
"Oh come on moosie," He smirked. "You know you love me." Sam stared at him.
"I do," He admitted. "And that's why I hate you."
"Let's fix that," Gabriel suggested. "How do I get you to love me and not hate me?" Sam gave him a deadpan look, walked over to his desk, and pulled a pair of Enochian brass knuckles out of it. "What-" Sam wound up and slammed his fist into Gabriel's stomach, causing the Trickster to double over and drop onto the bed.
"That's a good start," Sam offered, taking the brass knuckles off.
"You're a cruel lover, Samantha," Gabriel said, in extreme pain.
"I'm not your lover."
"Our rendezvous greatly begs to differ."
"That was sex and nothing more."
"I disagree."
"You were literally the one who told me it was meaningless sex!" Gabriel sat up, wincing in pain and glanced up at Sam.
"Oh Samsquatch," He shook his head. "Nothing with you is ever meaningless."
"You're an ass."
"So you keep saying."
"It's true."
"Is that because you like my ass so much that calling me an ass is a compliment?"
"NO." Gabriel smiled cheekily.
"I think we're making progress. The couple's therapists would be proud of us."
"Go to hell."
"Which part would you recommend? You know it better than me." Sam glared at him and then stormed out the door. Gabriel groaned and flopped back on the bed.
"Ooooooh, Sammoose," He muttered. "I love it when you play hard to get."