I'm actually getting so much backlash and hate for writing this book. So to everybody: CHILL TF OUT OR I'M DISCONTINUING THIS BOOK.
I'm sorry if you like this book but I'm not going to continue writing it if most of the feedback I get is negative.
Anyways here's a new chapter for all of you Jerries out there
The diner was a sea of noise, pans banging against one another, people talking cheerfully to each other, and the thumping of feet against the hard wood floor.
Jade sat still, seemingly a single rock on the waves, an anchor of calm surrounded by the churning water. This was not the case. Her thoughts were jumbled together, a mix of worry and regret.
Should I have even sent that letter to her?
Am I ready to see her, talk to her?
Will she even show up?
Jade slumped down further in the booth, behind the waffle she had ordered and only eaten half of. The chefs had gotten the order wrong and had forgotten to hold the blueberries. To Jade's overly nervous mind, it was a bad omen. A sign that Perrie wasn't going to show up.
The minute hand passed over the twelve, and it was now a bit past nine in the morning. Jade had been here for almost an hour, moving her food around on her plate, nibbling on a strawberry here or there.
"Do you want somthing else darlin'?" A waitress asked, walking over to Jade with a sugary sweet smile on her face for what seemed like the millionth time.
"No thank you," Jade replied, retuning the smile with one of her own.
"You'll need to hurry along soon, we have other people who would like to sit here," she said, for the first time in the past hour showing and signs of annoyance. Jade had to give her props, she had kept her cool for an hour at least.
"Just a couple more minutes," Jade begged.
The waitress sighed out, a long annoyed exhale that made her bangs fly up for a second. "Fine," she said. "But if you're still alone in a couple of minutes you're going to have to leave. For real."
"I understand," Jade said, staring at her soggy waffle, drowning in syrup.
"I'll just take that," the waitress said, grabbing the plate and walking away. Jade just watched the waitress leave. She couldn't even eat the whole waffle if she tried. She wondered how Perrie managed to.
Jade closed her eyes and leaned back against the booth. When a couple minutes went by, Jade was disappointed to realize that Perrie wasn't coming at all.
"Waste of my time," Jade mumbled, turning to grab her bag.
"Jade?"
Jade froze, her hand on the strap of her bag. She turned around, hardly daring to believe her eyes.
Perrie was standing in front of the booth, her hair tucked into a quick braid, her beautiful blue eyes swimming with tears. Her lower lip was trembling, and underneath her eyes were dark circles. She looked like a mess. But she was here.
"Hi Perrie," Jade said softly, slowly standing up from the booth. Her eyes widened when Perrie threw herself at Jade, wrapping her arms around the petite Geordie's body and burrowing her face in the crook of the brunette's neck.
"I'm sorry," Perrie cried, Jade's mouth opening and closing as she stroked the shaking blonde's hair, trying to calm her down. "I'm so sorry."
"It's alright," Jade said soothingly. "Perrie, it's okay."
"It's not," Perrie sniffed, tears running down her cheeks. "I should have done something, I should have turned Alex away when he first showed up at the door, I should have - "
"Slow down Perrie," Jade said. "Come on, we have to sit down."
Jade sat down, Perrie sitting down next to her and sitting a respectful distance from Jade, the thighs barely brushing against one another.
"You came," Jade said softly.
"I wasn't sure if I was going to," Perrie admitted, wiping her eyes. "But I decided that if you were going to make an effort, the least I could do was show up."
"And you're here," Jade murmured, reaching over and wiping a tear rolling down Perrie's cheek away with the pad of her thumb. Perrie flinched at the gentle gesture like the brunette had burned her.
"Are you okay Perrie?" Jade asked, suddenly worried.
"Y-yeah," Perrie said quietly, looking down at the floor. "I just feel really bad."
"Hey hey hey," Jade said, hesitantly placing her hand over Perrie's, the blonde turning to look at Jade again. "You didn't really do anything, and I'm willing to put it behind us."
"You are?" Perrie asked hopefully, Jade smiling sadly at the sight of the blonde so vulnerable.
"Yeah," Jade said. "I'm asking for another chance, like in the letter. It doesn't have to be a relationship, just a friendship."
"Friendship," Perrie murmured, sniffing quietly. "I like that."
Jade grinned, the first genuine smile on her face today. "To friendship," she said, sticking out her hand.
Perrie stared at Jade's hand for a minute, then let out a little laugh. "To friendship," she echoed, reaching over and shaking Jade's hand.
"I'm sorry ladies but I'm going to have to ask you to leave this booth find find another table," the waitress said. "We have a party of six who have been waiting for half an hour."
"Oh! I'm so sorry," Jade said, nudging Perrie with her knee. Perrie stood up slowly, the waitress's eyes widening when she took in Perrie's disheveled appearance.
"Are you okay hun?" She asked, peering over her glasses at Perrie.
"Yeah," Perrie said softly. "I'm better."
Jade smiled sympathetically. "Boyfriend drama," she lied, missing the way Perrie winced at her words.
"It must be bad," the waitress said worriedly.
"Yeah," Perrie said heavily. "I messed up and the person that I truly loved slipped away from me forever."
The world seemed to slow in stop. Jade could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she glanced over at Perrie, who's eyes were trained on the floor.
"Everything okay with you two?" The waitress asked.
"Yeah," Jade said, forcing herself to snap out of her thoughts. "It's very fresh, so it's very sad. I'm gonna bring her back to her house."
The waitress nodded sympathetically, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them as if she just realized their relationship.
"Go for it," the waitress whispered to Jade. Jade nodded, already feeling uncomfortable as she walked out of the diner with Perrie in front of her.
"I was dropped off by Alex," Perrie admitted, sounding extremely guilty.
"It's okay to be dropped off by somebody," Jade replied. "Get in, I'll drive you home."
"Thank you," Perrie mumbled, getting into the passenger's seat.
The ride home was in silence. Perrie stared out at the passing scenery, and Jade could see the tears trickling down the blonde's cheeks from her reflection in the window.
Once they pulled into Perrie's driveway, Perrie silently unbuckled her seatbelt and slipped out of the car and started to walk up to her door.
"Wait!" Jade called, Perrie stopping and turning to face Jade.
"What did you mean back there?" Jade asked, grabbing Perrie's arm.
Before Jade could process what was happening, Perrie had leaned forward and pressed her lips against Jade's. Jade gasped in surprise, melting into the kiss that was still so achingly familiar. All too soon, Perrie pulled away.
"I meant that I still love you," Perrie admitted softly, her eyes searching Jade's.
Jade's mouth opened and closed, a hand coming up to feel her lips.
"Say something," Perrie begged.
"I-I can't," Jade whispered, turning and running back to her car, leaving a heartbroken Perrie standing behind.
************
"You ran away?" Jesy said in shock. "what happened to 'I still love her Jesy?'"
"Of course I still love her!" Jade exclaimed, pacing the living room while Jesy sat on the couch. Leigh Anne was taking her shift at the diner, Jesy had taken the rest of the day off after she had received Jade's panicked text a few minutes ago.
"I don't think I'll ever stop loving her," Jade admitted sadly, coming to a stop in the middle of the room.
"Then why aren't you over there with Perrie?" Jesy asked, eyeing the brunette sympathetically.
"Because I'm scared," Jade admitted. "I'm scared that it will be the same, and I'll end up feeling like I'm on the outside looking in, like I don't belong."
"You won't know until you try, will you?" Jesy said pointedly.
"But what if I don't want to try anymore?" Jade asked, shrinking away from Jesy's glare.
"Jade Amelia Thirlwall, you were the one who was regretting ending things with Perrie in the first place," Jesy scolded. "You can't try to reconnect with Perrie, and then when she tells you she still loves you, you don't leave the poor woman! She probably thinks that you don't love her anymore."
"Oh my god," Jade whispered as the realization of that she did dawned on her. "I screwed up, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did," Jesy said. "But I'm sure it's not too late. Grow a pair and go tell your lady how you feel!"
"I will," Jade snapped. "But I need something nice, something to show that I'm sorry and that I care."
"Handcuffs?" Jesy suggested.
"No you idiot!" Jade exclaimed. "I was thinking more along the lines of flowers."
"I always knew you were a classic cheesy one," Jesy smirked.
"Shut up," Jade scowled, Jesy chuckling as she dodged the petite Geordie's fists.
"Okay okay!" Jesy held up her hands, trying not to laugh.
"Thank you," Jade stuck her tongue out at Jesy, grabbed her keys, and left, shutting the door behind her.
"She's gonna get laid tonight," Jesy chuckled, making her way into the kitchen.
************
Perrie was numb as she stumbled into the living room, tears pouring down her cheeks, her breaths uneven and shallow.
"Perrie?" Alex said in shock, his eyes widening as he took in Perrie's appearance.
"I fucked up for real this time," Perrie sobbed. "Jade doesn't love me back anymore. I drove her away again."
"Oh no," Alex gasped, allowing Perrie to collapse into his arms and cry onto his shoulder.
"I kissed her Alex," Perrie cried. "I kissed her and told her that I still love her. Then she ran away."
"She ... ran away?" Alex asked, clearly surprised.
"Like she didn't even care," Perrie said bitterly, letting out a weak laugh. "But that's what I get, right? I mean, I screwed her over the first time so I clearly don't deserve a second chance."
"No, she's the one who messed up," Alex said firmly. "You are such a good person, nobody's perfect. Please believe me when I say that you did nothing wrong. Don't beat yourself up."
Perrie let out a long sigh, her whole body shaking.
"Perrie?" Alex asked quietly. "Are you okay?"
"No," Perrie said. "I'm not okay."
Alex frowned sympathetically, his sadness giving way to suspicion when Perrie leaned back from him, rocking onto her heels.
"I want a distraction," Perrie stated.
"I thought we agreed to hold back on doing that," Alex protested, leaning away from Perrie's hands.
"I need it right now," Perrie shot back. "I can't even think straight right now. Jade's really messed me up this time, and I need a distraction."
"You never think straight," Alex joked, his smile fading as Perrie fixed him with a glare.
"Come on," she said, running her hand up his shirt, moving so that her lips were hovering over his. "Just this once."
Alex opened his mouth, no doubt to argue some more. He never got to say anything.
"Perrie?"
Perrie froze, her eyes wide. Alex took the opportunity to grab Perrie's hands and put then back at her sides, stepping away from the blonde.
Perrie closed her eyes, the world crashing down around her as she turned to see Jade standing in the doorway. Jade was standing there holding a bouquet of tulips, her heartbreakingly beautiful caramel eyes filled with tears.
"Jade," Perrie whispered, standing up to take a step toward the brunette.
"Don't come any closer," Jade said, taking a step back.
"Please Jade," Perrie begged.
"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Jade asked. "That you love me?"
"Yes," Perrie said. "Yes I do love you Jade, so much."
"Then why are you ... with him?" Jade demanded, waving a hand in Alex's direction.
"I'm just gonna leave," Alex said quietly, exiting the room.
"Please Jade," Perrie said. "Don't go. I love you."
"I was worried that I would lose you to Alex," Jade said softly, looking sadly at Perrie. "I guess I was right."
With a final glance, Jade turned and moved out of the room.
"No, please!" Perrie cried, running after Jade. She grabbed the bruentte's arm and turned her around.
"Take these," Jade said, shoving the flowers into Perrie's arms and wiping her eyes hastily. "I'm sure Alex will like them."
Jade then opened the door and took off, running into the night.
"Jade!" Perrie cried, dropping the flowers onto the ground and running out the door. "Jade please!"
Just as Perrie made it onto the front lawn, she saw Jade's car pull out of the driveway. Perrie dropped to her knees in the middle of the front lawn, tears streaming down her face.
"Jade!" She sobbed. "Jade, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
If Jade saw the blonde, she made no indication of it as her car sped off, Perrie's sobs chasing after it.
Well I guess Jade knows about Perrie and Alex's arrangement. Ah well I guess this book is no longer what I ever thought it was going to be.
Anyways i hope you liked it :)