Have you ever been underestimated? (Everyday)
I write again but not for the fleeting mood, but for my own pain. Most of us have gone through insecurity's little game have we not? Just like the devil in his horns, insecurity carries it's own burning trident.
For the ones lacking confidence, they are commonly poked and proded by the trident, at times, scarred. When I was entering my adolescent years, I realized my growth didn't make me superior but only made me inferior, unlike my seniors.
I went through countless days of surrendering to my own cage. I sat in the corner, with my insecurity being my shadow. To elaborate, insecurity is a puny mosquito, worthless to the world, worthless to your nature. Undeniably, toxic to your health.
My purpose of writing this piece today, is to place my pain on you readers, since my burden is yours, and your burden mine, if you allow me to take it away from you.
I'm here.
To sum up, I'm insecure, for my passion isn't good enough. I'm unleashing my thoughts, as a puerile child. In which, I'm constantly in dislike of the people surrounding me. The way their eyes dart away as soon as I look their way. The way their smile twitches as though a needle has poked their pretty lips. The way their eyebrows curve upwards with sympathy, sympathy accompanied by increasing ingenuity.
Suddenly, their mind tells them to hide their eyes, so they look down and mind their own business because I'm sympathy-ridden, and that I am not eligible.
Despite my insecurity, my eyes stay fixated, because I do not hide, I do not sigh, nor do I wish to ever be underestimated.
But I am. Nonetheless, I am underestimated.
No matter how difficult sacrificing my time is, they do not know. They will never know, but they look at me, they look at the pretty darkness below my eyes, the dusty pale skin, and my trembling hands.
What they don't look at is, my eyes. Everyone's little evidences. When the mouth shuts, the eyes scream. They won't hear, they won't look. To them, nothing matters.
Just the way for me, no matter how many times I repetitively remind myself-
I matter too.
In my world, I'm the ruler, and without me, these words, and these thoughts, won't last.
For the last time-
I matter-
You are the only thing you need to care for-
For the last time.
-LovableConundrum
°○°○08/03/2019°○°○10:51p.m°○°○