Content warning: Panic attack
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Mood Music: Medley from Frozer and Mayura (piano) - arranged by Corpington
I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this, why am I doing this, this is super dumb, this is a very bad idea, why am I going through with it, do I look okay, do I have lipstick on my teeth, why did I have to open my big mouth, why do I turn into a numbskull anytime I'm around him, why does he have to be so dang wonderful and gorgeous and kind and — Ladybug anxiously rambled and fretted internally as she walked towards the designated meeting area at the Trocadero.
Sighing, she looked up the Sunday evening movie times for the 10th time and checked her cardigan pockets (yet again) to make sure she'd brought enough money for snacks. While she knew that Adrien could afford his own fare, she wasn't sure if she'd be the one to pay because she was the one who invited him.
What even is date protocol?! What even is date protocol when you're a SUPERHERO?
Marinette had only ever gone on a handful of dates, none going further than awkwardly holding hands or maybe a quick peck on the cheek at the end. Her parents were high school sweethearts, which meant they were of no real help to her because they had spent practically every waking moment together since they were kids; the way they'd gone about their courtship was entirely relaxed, natural, and informal. So essentially, she was entirely lacking in experience in this field.
She finally spotted said object of her affections leaning against a pillar wearing a red zip-up hoodie, as promised. He wore his hood up, and yet he almost seemed to glow ethereally despite the dim evening light. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards him in what she hoped looked like a carefree and relaxed gait and not like a platypus, which is what she felt like in her disguise. To borrow a phrase from her school nemesis: utterly ridiculous.
A few dozen meters away, Adrien rubbed his hands nervously, then opted to stick them in his pockets to try to avoid drawing attention to himself. Plagg had snickered the whole way there and even now he kept busting out into fits of uncontrollable giggles every so often. Adrien rolled his eyes. Maybe Plagg was right and this was a horrible idea. And although Plagg did eventually warm up to the concept of going on a date with Ladybug, Adrien suspected that it was just because he wanted to watch him crash and burn.
He shook his head in determination, reminding himself that he was there on a mission: to investigate and determine whether Ladybug was trustworthy or whether she was two-faced.
Behind him someone abruptly cleared their throat. He turned to look at whoever was trying to get his attention and came face to face with a stunning young woman wearing a stylish, long sleeved cardigan and a flowing mid-length skirt. Her long, raven hair was in a low ponytail and she sported large Hello Kitty eyeglasses with tinted lenses that looked slightly out of place with the rest of her ensemble but somehow pulled the look together nonetheless.
"Hello," he greeted. "Can I help you?" The thought entered his mind that maybe this was one of his fans and she had recognized him despite wearing his hood.
"Um," the young woman replied, rubbing her arm nervously. "Hi Adrien. It's me." She waved with a gloved hand and smiled shyly, her lips shimmering with a soft pink lip gloss.
Adrien moved closer so he could see her face more clearly. He squinted for a moment, then his eyes widened in recognition. He gave a small gasp and started to exclaim, "Ladyb--!"
Ladybug surged forward and put her hand over his mouth, and raised her other hand to made a "Shh" sign. Adrien finally noticed that she was wearing her mask under the tinted glasses. He realized that she was transformed under the clothes she was wearing. He had half expected her to show up as herself, although, all things considered, that may have been a very bad idea. He had also wondered if she'd show up in her civilian form and potentially reveal her identity, but Ladybug wasn't reckless enough to do something like that. He hadn't considered the possibility of her wearing a disguise over a disguise.
Ladybug stood on her tiptoes and put her free hand on his shoulder so she could whisper into his ear, her breath tickling his neck pleasantly, "I didn't want us to attract any attention but I had to come while transformed. Miraculouses have glamour magic that helps protect the wearer's identity, otherwise there's a chance I'd be recognized." She lowered herself and asked timidly, "I-is that okay?"
Adrien felt like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest and he desperately hoped he wasn't as red as he felt. At this proximity, even without his enhanced Chat Noir senses he could still subtly smell her familiar floral scent, which always brought him inexplicable comfort. He could count the adorable tiny freckles speckled on her nose, could feel the warmth radiating from her hand in spite of the thin material of her suit, could see the lights from the Eiffel Tower reflected in her piercing, azure eyes. Suppressing a dreamy sigh, he nodded slightly and let out a muffled, "Mm-hmm."
Ladybug gasped. "Oh! I'm sorry!" she sputtered and released him, then put some distance between them.
Wringing her hands, she spoke softly, her cheeks pink, "Thank you, by the way. For coming here. I realize this... 'outing' may not be exactly what you're used to, but... it means a lot to me that you even showed up."
Ladybug's captivating smile almost caused Adrien's knees to buckle, which confused him to no end. We're literally just standing here talking, what is WRONG with me??
Shaking himself out of his slight haze, he replied, "Thank you for inviting me. I've been looking forward to it," he half-lied. She didn't really need to know just how terrified he'd been.
"Thanks, Adrien. I appreciate it. But, having said that," she added anxiously, "I... I wanted to give you one last chance to back out. I don't want you to feel obligated to go through with it." She looked up at him, eyes filled with apprehension and dread. "I'll totally understand if you change your mind. Really. I wouldn't want you to have to do something that you're uncomfortable with."
Adrien smiled at her fondly. She was so unexpectedly considerate, as she'd proven to both sides of himself. He wasn't accustomed to being given a choice, of having the agency to do whatever he was comfortable or not comfortable with doing. Her thoughtful gesture filled his chest with warm tingles, and he found himself suppressing an indescribably strong urge to hug her.
Grinning sympathetically, he took a step towards her and offered her his arm. "Shall we?"
Ladybug beamed and her whole countenance brightened, then she took his arm. "Yes!"
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It was extraordinarily difficult for Adrien to keep his attention on the movie. All around him everyone laughed and exclaimed at the protagonists' antics and misadventures, but, as if by some magnetic force, his eyes were pulled elsewhere; he unwittingly yet frequently stole glances at his masked companion, who laughed along with the rest of the audience. Her radiant smile and unbridled laughter was so infectious, he couldn't keep himself from grinning widely himself whenever he peeked at her. Anytime their hands brushed while sharing snacks (which, after a short debate on who would pay for what, they'd settled on her buying the tickets and him buying the snacks), it would send his heart racing for reasons he could not fully comprehend. At one point their eyes met and she grinned cheerfully at him. He returned the smile and was infinitely grateful that the theater was dark, since he was pretty sure that his face was beet red instead of its usual color.
Ladybug seemed so ordinary here, but in the best way. A way that made her extremely approachable and warm. A way that put his nerves at ease while simultaneously setting fire to his chest. In the battlefield she had always seemed so fierce and intimidating to him, but that was not how he felt now. He felt perfectly comfortable and, dare he say it... safe. How was this chipper and animated girl that same intense and formidable opponent that he was so used to seeing as Chat Noir? It was baffling, to say the least.
UGH, I need to stop thinking and actually try to focus on the movie so I can have something to talk about afterwards, he scolded himself.
Instead of paying attention, however, Adrien found himself wondering about just that: what exactly they would be doing after the movie. The plan was for them to go to an outdoor cafe so the darkness would help to conceal Ladybug's presence from others, followed by a walk along the Seine.
He wasn't really sure what was considered "normal," as this was the first date he had ever actually agreed to go on. All of his previous (and numerous) other dates had been arranged by either Nathalie or his father and added to his schedule without him even being consulted about it; each and every one of them meticulously fabricated for some strategic socioeconomic or business purpose. Some of those dates ended with a bored, cordial handshake from both parties (much to his relief), but most of the time his companions were superficial and flirtatious, always aiming to take advantage of him and benefit from their affiliations, which only worsened as he got older. His dates had become increasingly provocative and pushy, which he detested and almost feared.
However, since this date had all been entirely voluntary and Ladybug was letting Adrien participate in all the decision making, did that also mean that he would also get to choose how to end his date with her?
Is there a handshake? A hug? Is there a k-- A kis-- AUGH!!
His stomach flip-flopped anxiously just thinking about it. What was the traditional way of doing things? Although, he supposed, this date wasn't exactly like a traditional date, to say the least.
Before he knew it, the movie was over and Ladybug reached over to touch his forearm, since apparently she'd been trying to get his attention.
She smiled sweetly and asked, "Um, shall we go? Unless you really wanted to stay til the end of the credits."
Adrien stammered as he stood, "Oh- uh, no, it's fine. We can go." They walked over to the garbage and recycling bins to get rid of all their empty wrappers and containers, then walked out of the auditorium.
As they made their way towards the theater's exit, Ladybug asked, "So how did you like the movie?"
Adrien's brain froze, but he managed to stutter out, "Uh, it was... it was really something, huh?"
Ladybug replied enthusiastically, "Yes, it sure was! I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!" she giggled and continued, "What was your favorite part?"
Drawing a complete blank, Adrien desperately tried to remember an event from the movie, just anything at all. "W-well, it- it was..."
"Holy crap, is that Adrien Agreste?!" a voice exclaimed from a few meters away.
Ladybug and Adrien whipped their heads around towards the source of the yelling.
"Oh no," Adrien let out a bleak sigh.
Instantly more excited cries chimed in.
"No way! It's really him!"
"It's the legit Adrien Agreste!"
"Wow! He watches movies like regular people!"
"Oh my goodness, let's get his picture!"
Within seconds they were surrounded by squealing fans, all shuffling to try to get as close to him as possible.
It was then that Adrien realized that he'd forgotten to put his sweatshirt's hood back on. He groaned internally, berating himself for his absent-mindedness. This situation could very quickly spiral out of control.
Ladybug touched his shoulder apprehensively. "We need to get you out of here," she whispered to him. He glanced at her nervously and nodded. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders protectively and they began their attempt to shuffle away from the mob of starry-eyed teenagers.
In the commotion, Ladybug cried out as she was jostled roughly and knocked over against Adrien, who instinctively caught her by the waist. She held tightly onto his arms, stabilizing herself.
"My L- uh... hey, Ladybug, are you alright?" he asked quietly, concern lacing his voice.
Ladybug looked up at him, her eyes still wide and startled, but a beat later she relaxed a bit then smiled at him, replying softly, "Yeah. Thanks."
Adrien could feel his face flush as he stared down at her, the latter looking more vulnerable, more... human than he was used to. He smiled back and gently helped her right herself, hands still on her waist. She held his gaze, her own cheeks a bit pink as well... most likely flustered from being shoved by the crowd, he surmised. Her eyelashes fluttered slowly, her bright eyes contrasting against the deep red of her mask.
...Her mask.
He could see her mask.
Adrien's expression changed from one of fondness to one of complete shock, and Ladybug's face scrunched in confusion.
Mortified, Adrien stammered, "Y-your glasses—"
Ladybug reached up to touch her face and realized that they'd fallen when she was pushed. She quickly scanned the floor, trying to spot her fallen glasses. After a few moments of searching she realized that it would be near impossible to find them in this crowd.
"Forget it," she said, shaking her head. "There's no way I'll find them. Let's just leave."
Beside them, a fan yelled, "Is that Ladybug?!"
More voices clamored, "It is Ladybug!"
"What? She's here??"
"She's with Adrien!"
"A celebrity date?! How romantic!"
"Someone get a picture!!"
Adrien winced and let out a grumble. "Great."
He whipped around and snatched Ladybug's hand. "Run!" he cried.
Ladybug made no objections as they bolted through the crowd, making their way out of the theater and into the enormous shopping center. As it was indoors, Ladybug couldn't swing them away from the crowd using her yoyo, which would have been ideal. Instead, they were forced to try to leave the mall through the proper exit. Unfortunately, said exit was quite a ways from their current location; additionally they were on the third level.
Deciding to skip the escalators altogether, Ladybug picked up a very surprised Adrien and leaped to the floor below. Adrien let out an involuntary gasp and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders, pressing himself close to her small yet powerful frame. They landed gracefully and Ladybug uttered a quick apology as she set him down, taking his hand once again.
The two quickly made their way towards the exit... only to encounter another sizable group of teenagers who were loitering near the doors of the shopping center, as it was closing time. Despite them still being a few meters away, Adrien was instantly recognized and they approached the pair. He swore under his breath, then pulled Ladybug in the opposite direction.
As they ran back, they caught sight of the previous crowd from the movies making their way down the escalators, who would no doubt notice them in a few moments. Stopping short, Ladybug let out a short whimper and looked up at Adrien, her expression full of worry and clearly having run out of ideas. His eyes darted around looking for another escape route. A beat later, he located a possible hiding spot and tugged on Ladybug's hand to get her attention. She quickly understood and followed him.
Together they dashed into a small side hallway and scrambled into a storage closet at the far end, shutting the door quietly.
Panting from the exertion of having sprinted across the mall, Ladybug and Adrien met each others' eyes, chuckling awkwardly as they stood tightly pressed up against each other in the tiny room, which was full of large, heavy boxes.
For a few of minutes neither of them spoke a word, but strained to listen to the commotion outside, trying to figure out if they had been discovered.
Once the noise dissipated (no doubt due to the crowd being ushered outside by mall security), they shared a hopeful look. Breathing slowed as they took the time to loosen their postures and relax. Head still reeling from what had occurred, Ladybug asked him, "Is... is it always like this? With your fans?"
Adrien shrugged, resting his back against the closed door. "Well, not always. But..." he mused, "We did have a photo shoot a couple of weeks ago and, uhhh... there was a lot of leather."
Ladybug's eyes widened in confusion and her head tilted to the side. "...Leather?" she queried. "Sounds like an... interesting shoot."
Flustered, Adrien clarified, "Th-that is...! Leather clothes! Leather pants and leather jackets, motorcycles, the 'bad boy' look, that sort of thing."
Ladybug realized that she knew exactly which photo shoot he was talking about. In fact, she remembered it very well. It was her new favorite magazine spread of his. He had always played the part of the angelic, flawless, studious blonde model who you'd want to take home to meet your parents over dinner. The leather photo shoot, however, complete with deadly smouldering eyes and sinful parted lips, was a complete change from his usual innocent portrayal. She'd already purchased two copies of the magazine... although she wasn't about to divulge that information to the aforementioned model while standing chest to chest against him in a tiny closet.
"Aha, gotcha," she replied nonchalantly. She looked up at Adrien who chuckled sheepishly, cheeks tinged with a delightful shade of pink which was visible despite having a dim light bulb as the only light source.
"Well, I bet you looked amazing. Especially if this is the reaction you've been getting lately. Maybe you should wear leather more often," she teased with a wink.
Adrien blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, um, well, I guess- maybe," he stammered timidly. Was she flirting with him? Not that he was opposed to the idea. They'd flirted playfully as Chat Noir and Ladybug many times, but he wasn't used to being flirted with as Adrien by anyone without ulterior motives. It was... nice.
They stood in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to do or say next.
Mood Music: The Dark Side - Muse
Eyeing the door across from her, Ladybug decided to take the initiative and speak first. "Well, I'm sure all your rabid fans are gone," she said as she tried to go around him and failed because of the lack of available space. She abandoned that idea and instead she reached across to grab the doorknob next to Adrien's waist. "We should head out too, since it's getting pretty la-" she suddenly went quiet and her eyebrows furrowed. She tried turning the doorknob again, but as before, it didn't budge.
It was locked from the outside.
"Wh-what's wrong?" Adrien asked nervously in spite of himself, already suspecting exactly what was wrong.
Ladybug quirked her mouth to the side. "It's stuck. Or locked."
Adrien's hand instantly reached for the door for confirmation. He roughly twisted and yanked on the doorknob in desperation, his hands suddenly becoming clammy and slick.
Ladybug noticed his erratic movements and grew increasingly concerned. "Hey, are you feeling alright?"
Adrien didn't answer. Was he trembling? She looked closely at him and noticed his pupils becoming dilated. His breathing was rapidly becoming more and more shallow. His other hand was clenched into a painfully tight fist and he appeared as though he'd collapse at any moment.
He looks woozy and disoriented... Is he sick??
"It's going to be okay, Adrien," she attempted to reassure him. "We'll find a way out and we can find someplace for you to lie down if you're not feeling well."
But it was like he hadn't even heard her. He quietly muttered, "No, no, no... We're trapped. We can't get out of here and we're stuck, just- trapped. What if we never get out? What-what if we can't-- Don't keep me in here, please, please let me out..." he trailed off, mumbling absently.
Ladybug's eyes popped wide open in realization. Adrien was claustrophobic. He was having a panic attack.
Oh no... What have I done?
Guilt flooded into her like a waterfall. She never should have brought Adrien here. This whole thing was wrong. She shouldn't have approached him as Ladybug. He didn't know anything about her, and "Ladybug" wasn't supposed to know anything about him. Getting close to him would only put him in danger. If Hawkmoth were to find out that he'd been associated with her it would be disastrous. But she'd been too careless, too selfish, too self-absorbed and infatuated to think clearly and now Adrien was the one paying for her grievous lack of judgment.
Ladybug was brought back to reality as Adrien's breathing hitched sporadically and his chest heaved laboriously. She braced herself in case she needed to catch him were he to pass out from lack of oxygen, but she hoped it wouldn't come to that.
Watching Adrien helplessly as he continued down a spiral of fear, she knew she had to do something. She tried desperately to stay calm and level-headed for his sake. She needed to help him get through this.
Pulling herself together after a brief self-pep talk, she tried to reassure him softly, "Hey. It's okay, Adrien. I'm right here with you, you're not alone. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. You're not going to get hurt, I promise."
Adrien squeezed his eyes shut. She could tell that he'd heard her and was trying to process her words. She waited a few moments and added, "Are you okay with physical touch? Is it alright if I touch your arm?"
Adrien paused, then nodded slightly in response.
Ladybug's hand reached over slowly and tentatively touched his forearm. Once she was sure that he really was okay with the contact, she eased upwards to his shoulder and rubbed it gently.
She tried again, "We need to slow down your breathing. Try to take some deep breaths."
Frantic, he stammered, "I ca- I can't! I'm... it-it's too... I can't!" he cried.
Ladybug slowly took his hand and gently pressed it up to the area just below her neck at the collarbone. She held it there with an almost featherlight touch.
As calmly as she could, she cooed soothingly, "Breathe with me, Adrien. Follow my lead."
His head turned and he stared at where his hand rested on her. Finally meeting her eyes, his pupils finally began to focus again. With a last shaky breath, he nodded.
Adrien accepted Ladybug's other hand and placed it on his own chest, his larger hand covering hers completely.
She took deep breaths and he did the same, their hands a physical indicator to help him follow along. Their breaths intermingled during their synchronizations, and Adrien's trembling steadily decreased, as did his heart rate.
Ladybug smiled comfortingly. "You're doing so awesome, Adrien. Would it help if I rubbed your back?"
His eyes were still squeezed shut, but he replied, "Y-ye-... Please."
Ladybug reached behind him and gently placed her hand on his back when he suddenly lurched forward to crush her into a tight embrace, holding onto her as if she were a tether to reality. She leaned her head against his as she practically held up his body from falling over. It broke her heart to see him like this, to learn of yet another hardship he had to struggle with.
Pushing those thoughts aside, she whispered softly, repeating, "Everything's okay... you're okay... We're going to be completely fine... we're not in any danger. You're doing so great..." Her hands gently slid in wide, smooth strokes and circles on his back.
They stayed that way for a few minutes, the only sounds were Adrien breathing and Ladybug's peaceful ministrations.
Adrien practically nuzzled into her as he whispered, "Thanks, Ladybug."
Ladybug blushed despite herself. Adrien had been able to push through and recover from his panic attack. Butterflies swelled within her and she was so immensely proud of him; she couldn't help but smile.
"We won't be in here forever," she spoke soothingly. She knew she needed to talk about the situation rationally to try to help Adrien keep his fears under control. "Even if we can't get out right this moment, someone will find us eventually."
"But that could take hours," he replied, gulping, and pulled away slightly. "The mall doesn't open until 9am."
They both thought for a few moments, trying to come up with an idea.
"Couldn't you like... punch the door open?" he asked. "You're pretty strong. I could always pay the mall back for the, uh... vandalism."
Ladybug scrunched her face in consideration. "I could possibly kick it open. But... there's not quite enough room for me to raise my leg. Plus, you're right in front of the door and you'd be in the way, since I can't go around. I might hurt you. I don't want to risk that."
Adrien breathed out through his mouth, much calmer than before but obviously still distressed. "What else can we do?" He looked at her hopelessly.
Ladybug frowned. There weren't a lot of options. She couldn't use her Lucky Charm for self-gain. Detransforming while Adrien closed his eyes so Tikki could unlock the door was out of the question also (Fu had made it crystal clear that she was never to trust anyone with her detransformation, no matter the circumstances).
She looked around, examining her surroundings. Above the boxes behind her she spotted a single vent on the ceiling. It was the only escape route. If they made their way through the air ducts, it would lead them back out into the mall and they could finally leave.
We could climb up the vent, she thought. However... it looks too small for Adrien. She furrowed her brows, deep in concentration.
Adrien followed her gaze and noticed the vent as well. He shook his head. "That won't work. I'm way too big, I'd never fit through that hole. But..." He stopped suddenly, eyes wide and he looked back at her, throat dry. "But you could."
"No! No, don't worry, Adrien. I wouldn't leave without you," she quickly reassured him. "You have nothing to worry about."
Adrien continued resolutely, "I don't think we have a choice. I think you need to do it."
"What?! But Adrien, I-" she cried, bewildered. "I can't leave you alone in here! There's gotta be another way," she argued, arms flailing as much as the available space allowed.
He placed both his hands on her shoulders and gave her a small smile. "I'll be fine, really. Unless you want to spend the next 10 hours in here without food or a bathroom break, you have to. I..." he stopped and considered carefully. "I'll be alright. I believe in you," he said quietly.
Ladybug bit her lip, debating his proposal. She twisted the edge of her cardigan nervously. She didn't want to leave him lest he have another panic attack. He was right though. They had to escape unless they wanted to wait an obscenely long amount of time locked in a closet together. Which, had she been asked prior to this experience whether she'd be okay with being stuck in a closet overnight with the love of her life, she would have gladly leaped at the chance. But she'd never known about his claustrophobia. She felt horrible about this. How could she not have known? Had he ever told anyone?
All things considered, however, it made perfect sense. If anyone knew a thing or two about what it's like to be trapped, it was Adrien Agreste. He could hardly ask for a drink of water without being closely monitored. It was a miracle that he'd even been allowed to go on a date with a girl his father hadn't run a background check on. Or... had he snuck out? How would he be able to do it without being detecte-
"Ladybug?" Adrien asked uncertain, interrupting her thoughts and bringing her attention back to the current situation.
She finally looked up at him, expression resolute. "Okay, I'll do it. I won't be long, I promise."
Ladybug reached into her pocket and pulled something out; a flash of red caught his attention.
"Here, take this," she said, holding out the item out in front of her. Adrien's eyes widened as he realized what it was.
"Your yo-yo?!" Adrien stammered. "W-why? I don't know how to use it."
Ladybug placed it in his hand and squeezed it reassuringly between hers. "You don't need to. I want you to hold onto it. That's how you'll know that I'm coming back and that you're not alone." She looked straight into his eyes earnestly. "So you know that I would never leave you behind."
A shiver ran up Adrien's spine and his stomach twisted into knots. He had never seen her without her yo-yo. It was her only defense and weapon.
And Ladybug trusted him with it. Trusted him.
Breathless, Adrien nodded.
Ladybug quickly shrugged off her outer clothes so all that remained was her regular costume. Adrien gathered up as much courage as he could, watching her climb haphazardly up the tall mountain of boxes at the back of the room. She stuck her fingers between the vent slats and easily pulled it out.
Turning her head back towards Adrien, she called at him with forced cheerfulness, "See you in a minute!" Then she disappeared.
Adrien was alone. It was just him and the darkness.
He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned up against the door, working hard to keep his breathing even. He could feel his heart begin to race and and a wave of nausea hit him yet again. He struggled and fought to push away the thoughts of hopelessness, clutching Ladybug's yo-yo tightly against his chest, which gave him a sense of security and control.
Plagg peeked out from Adrien's pocket before he emerged to perch on his shoulder. "Hey, kid, you know I could get you out in a jiffy! I could touch the door and KABOOM! Free as a bird!"
"What?! Plagg, no!" Adrien protested.
Pouting in response, Plagg muttered, "Party pooper." He amended, "Fine. I guess I could just phase through the door and unlock it for you."
Adrien seemed to consider Plagg's suggestion for a second but replied, "No, we can't do that. How would I even begin to explain it to her?" With fake cheer, he dramatized, "'Hey Ladybug! By the way, I had my kwami open the door for me, I hope you don't mind,'" then added sarcastically, "Because that's not suspicious at allllll."
"So we're just going to sit here and wait?" Plagg protested.
Sighing, Adrien said, "Yeah. We have to trust Ladybug. She'll get us out."
Storing that thought for later teasing when Adrien wasn't so emotional, Plagg flew to the top of Adrien's head to lay down and assured him, gently patting his head, "Don't worry, buddy. She'll get here soon."
Concentrating, he thought of Ladybug assisting him with his breathing earlier; he visualized their hands on each other, remembering the rhythm of their breaths. He followed along with this memory, inhaling and exhaling deeply and slowly, his mind focusing on thinking about Ladybug and her calming presence instead of thinking about where he was at the moment. He thought about her words, her whispered reassurances that his situation was only temporary, that the chances of him being stuck in that closet forever were slim to none.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I can do this. She's coming back.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
She will come back. She's not like Father. She'll keep her promise, right?
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Right...?
After what felt like an eternity, there was a jiggle at the doorknob. Adrien's back straightened like a shot and he stepped away from the door, waiting expectantly.
The door swung open, and there stood Ladybug, who looked concerned at first, but upon seeing that he was relatively calm and not panicking, she smiled brightly at him.
"Ta-da!" She said in sing-song. "I'm back! A little dusty but no worse for wear." More quietly, she asked, "How about you? Are you alright?"
He said nothing but walked up to her slowly practically dragging his feet and stopped right in front of her. She looked up at him through her lashes, eyebrows slightly upturned, eyeing him curiously. Bending over, he hugged her, a shudder racking his large frame, which suddenly felt smaller than Ladybug had ever witnessed. He buried his face into the crook of her neck, gripping her tightly.
"Adrien..." Ladybug was speechless and confused, yet she gingerly wrapped her arms around him in return.
"You..." he panted as he squeezed her tightly. "You came back for me."
"Oh, Adrien." She reached up with one hand, gently stroking the back of his head, threading her fingers slowly through his soft (yet a bit damp from sweat) hair. "I would never abandon you. Not ever."
They stayed that way for a while, both relieved to be out of that horrid, musty space.
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Mood Music: Someone to Die For - Jimmy Gnecco
The night air was fresh and crisp and the breeze felt particularly amazing after their unprecedented ordeal. Adrien let out a relieved sigh, clearly elated to be out in the open once again.
"This is much better, huh?" Ladybug sighed lightly, having donned her previous disguise again.
"Absolutely," Adrien replied airily, stretching his arms over his head. "It always feels amazing to be outdoors."
Ladybug glanced towards the direction of the café they were supposed to go to and frowned. There was still enough time to do a quick meal before it closed, but she knew it would be useless to try to salvage this poor excuse of a date and retain any semblance of normalcy after what had just happened.
"Listen, Adrien, I..." she started as she turned to face him. "I think I should take you home," she said contritely.
"...Oh." Adrien replied, feeling somewhat disappointed for some reason. He looked away, not knowing what to say or how to proceed. "I understand," he finally answered, rubbing the back of his neck. Truth was, he didn't entirely understand. But he wasn't about to argue with Ladybug, so he allowed her to pick him up and carry him home.
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Minutes later, Ladybug carefully avoided the Agreste mansion's cameras and swung them both into Adrien's bedroom through the large, slightly open window. After setting Adrien down, he and Ladybug stared at each other, both wanting to say something but not knowing what or how.
Ladybug shuffled her feet awkwardly and spoke first. "Adrien, I'm... I'm sorry about tonight." Her gaze dropped, unable to look at him anymore. "I'm really, really sorry. I totally messed up."
Adrien could see that she was struggling to keep her emotions under control. She inhaled sharply and resumed, voice quavering, "I didn't keep your safety in mind, which is the most important duty I have to all of Paris, and I was irresponsible. I should have known better," she said bitterly, clearly angry with herself.
Adrien stood stiffly, unsure of how to respond. He was so taken aback by this sudden outburst; he'd never seen Ladybug display any kind of negative emotion that wasn't aimed towards Hawkmoth or at himself as Chat Noir. It wasn't like her at all to show any sort of flaw in front of anybody, much less in front of someone who she thought was merely a civilian, someone who would depend on her strength and confidence to feel safe.
His father had always taught him that you must never show even the tiniest hint of insecurity or vulnerability in front of others because it would give your opponents the upper hand. They must never see you weak. Adrien had failed at meeting this principle countless times, although not from lack of trying. He always had figured he just wasn't strong like his father, and that he needed to try harder to meet his expectations.
However, his current situation was causing him to examine and reconsider this ideology. Was showing "weakness" truly a weakness? He didn't think any less of her after finding out that she made mistakes, and not only that, but she owned up to them and accepted the consequences of her actions. If anything, it made him feel better about himself to know that she experienced negative emotions like regret, frustration, and self-doubt. The knowledge that he wasn't the only one out of the two of them, the ladybug and cat miraculous wielders, who had these faults, it felt... comforting. It felt right.
Ladybug quickly wiped away a tear, taking a deep breath. "I should have known it would be a disaster. People like me aren't supposed to be doing stuff like this." She scoffed with a grimace, "Some 'hero' I am, endangering a civilian, maybe even risking you getting akumatized in there. I'm supposed to protect you, not put you in harm's way. It was selfish of me to try to pretend I was normal, I guess."
Adrien guiltily recalled the conversation they'd had while dancing at the ballroom akuma attack a couple of nights prior:
"Just let me have your miraculous. We could stop fighting and then you'd never have to see me again. I'd be out of your hair and you could live a normal life and be a normal girl who worries about normal things, and not have to worry about all of this."
He couldn't help but feel empathy for her. She was just a regular person who'd been chosen out of everyone in one of the most populated cities in Europe to take on a huge power and burden, and she was doing it alone. And she had been for years; she'd been just a kid back then. It was a lot of pressure. He couldn't blame her for wanting to reach out to someone and not feel as lonely.
Enemy or not, Adrien couldn't stand to see her cry, especially not because of him.
"Ladybug, hey," he lifted her chin and wiped away a stray tear with his other hand. "It's okay. Really. I'm fine now." He shrugged. "Maybe we both didn't exactly make the best decision about doing this but I'm not upset with you, and I don't regret it." He then added without thinking, "And... I think you're doing a great job trying to protect everyone. In fact, I really admire you."
Wait, what? His brain short-circuited.
Ladybug sniffled. "R-really?"
Do I really?! Adrien internally yelled.
He couldn't deny that she was impressive. He had his father on his side while she was by herself. Or maybe she had the guardian to help her, he wasn't sure. But out in the battlefield it was just her. They'd gotten close to defeating her a few times only to have her turn it around on them using only her wits and creativity. And while it had been frustrating every time it happened, looking back on it, it really was quite remarkable, if he were to be completely honest with himself. He always did appreciate the tenacity of an underdog.
Smiling, Adrien replied decisively, "Yeah. I do."
Eyes shining, she beamed at him and said, "Thank you. That's so sweet of you to say." Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink (most likely because she'd just been crying, he figured); nevertheless he felt his own face reddening as well.
She sighed and hesitated before speaking again. "In any case, this experience taught me that I must stick to my responsibilities and can't make the same mistake again. I... I'll stay away from you from now on. I won't give you any more trouble and you'll be out of danger. I'm sorry to have bothered you."
Adrien felt a pang of inexplicable sadness upon hearing these words. But why? Why should he care that Ladybug couldn't be seen hanging out with some random citizen? He understood why it would be risky from her perspective. And she didn't owe him anything. They didn't even know each other... Theoretically. It was for the best, he supposed.
And yet... it still hurt for some reason.
"I understand, Ladybug," he finally replied, masking his disappointment. "Don't worry about it, I'm not offended. And, for what it's worth..." he added shyly, rubbing his neck. "I'm glad you asked me. To go out with you, that is. I really did enjoy spending time with you."
"Really??" Ladybug replied incredulously, her face turning almost as red as her mask. "T-thank you, Adrien. That means a lot."
Adrien held back a sigh. "I know you said we wouldn't be hanging out with each other anymore but..." he said timidly, "If you ever see me around, will you- uh... will you be sure to stop and say hello? Don't be a stranger."
Grinning widely, she replied, "Of course."
Her eyes bore into his, as if carefully considering his words. Hesitantly, Ladybug took a slow step forward so that their bodies almost touched. She tentatively took his hands and held them between hers, causing goosebumps to spread all over his body. As he was almost a whole head taller than she was, she craned her neck upwards so she could see in his face if her actions were unwelcome. Adrien's heart skipped a beat in anticipation as he waited, unconsciously tilting his head down slightly.
Then it happened. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl and everything was silent. Ladybug gracefully stood on her toes and leaned forward to place a most delicate kiss on his cheek. He let out a soft gasp despite himself, heat flooding his face, chest swelling with a feeling he couldn't identify. She didn't pull away for a few moments, her soft, warm skin remaining on his, and he distinctly felt a sense of rightness, or belonging. It was as if their heartbeats and their breathing were in sync, like gears in a clock that fit together perfectly. What was this feeling, and more importantly, why was he yearning for more?
Before he could ponder it further, he felt Ladybug smile and she whispered, "See you around, handsome boy."
With a quick wave, she sauntered towards the window and zipped away, leaving a very dazed and blushing Adrien behind holding his cheek, which almost seemed to tingle at that point.
Breathless, he muttered out loud, "Did... did she just call me 'handsome boy'?", which was followed by shrill hysterical laughing coming from his pocket.
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Disclaimer:
I'm not a medical professional, but I do have a lot of experience both with helping/comforting others when they're having a panic attack, and working through panic attacks myself.
Telling someone who's having a panic attack "Calm down" or "You need to relax" doesn't work. In fact, it usually does the opposite. I tried to include some of the same methods that I use to help me or others settle down.
Please don't comment with anything about what Marinette or Adrien should have done or if they did something "wrong". This is a fanfiction, not a textbook. Unsolicited mental health advice will be deleted.
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Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter! I really really want to draw the disguise Ladybug wears during the date! XD I might get to it eventually, lol.
Thanks for reading!