→ CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE; DINNER TIME CHATS.
The hot water ran over Hannah's body as she cleaned herself of the sins she had committed throughout the day. She could still feel Michael's lips on her skin, the feeling would last the days, at least that's what she hoped. As Hannah looked down at her thighs, she chuckled at the marks Michael had left, reminding her of how perfect the afternoon had been. Having to leave Michael in the bed was excruciating, Hannah wanted nothing more but to stay there for the rest of her life, safe in the arms of the man she worshipped. Time was passing quickly however, neither one of them could risk Lily entering the household and seeing them tucked up in bed, Michael's arms circling Hannah's waist as he held her closer.
Just the smell of him brought Hannah comfort, a scent she couldn't describe. It reminded her of how they used to be; young and in love, no cares in the world. They were still young, and they were still completely in love, but their relationship felt old. So much had happened, so much pain and heartbreak but the love was still there and forever would be. Even after years of being together, Hannah still felt butterflies in her stomach when Michael entered the room, not fully understanding why she had been blessed with having Michael as her true love.
Both Michael and Hannah forget about all of their worries for those few hours though and spent their time exploring each other's bodies, reminding each other of what they liked, the marks on their frames, and the way they felt together. It was their first time all over again, full of passion and euphoria, a new connection made that hopefully wouldn't break.
"I don't want you to go," Michael whispered, his finger running across the curve of Hannah's naked body as she laid besides him.
"I have to," Hannah responded faintly, her eyes glistening with sadness as she looked up at Michael.
His hair was ruffled, no longer styled and combed to perfection like it had been when Hannah had first arrived. His elegant, fashionable business clothing had been abandoned on the floor and the imprints of Hannah's fingernails were littered across his back, fortunately they were able to be hidden straightforwardly.
"When will I see you again?"
"Soon enough, love."
Hannah stepped out of the bath, the sudden breeze striking her harshly as she struggled to get the towel around her body. It was seven at night, dinner time would be soon and Hannah had a lot of things to talk about. She wanted to tell the Sister's about Michael, leaving out some details of course, but Hannah was unsure if discussing her problematic relationship over steak pie and mash potato was the best idea, especially with Sister Maria sat at the table.
"Will you hurry up please?" Sophie shouted through the door, eager to get rid of the smell of baby sick from her body so she smelt good for Isaiah. Hannah swung the door open and grinned at Sophie, blocking the way so the other midwife couldn't get through. "What's got you so happy?"
Hannah blushed and looked down at the ground. "Has Isaiah not told you?"
"Of course," Sophie replied, biting her lip with excitement. "At least I'm not the only one with a secret now. I can't imagine the nuns being happy with two of their nurses being with Blinders."
The relationship between Sophie and Isaiah was slow building, disagreements often occurring because the two of them were daft and couldn't see what was in front of them, taking the hardest route to love, rather than the easiest. They finally came to their senses though and the two of them had been in a secret relationship ever since, it sounded familiar, too familiar for Hannah's liking.
"You can tell them tonight with me if you want," Hannah proposed with pleading eyes.
Sophie scoffed before shaking her head. "You are not dragging me into your shit, sunshine. I plan on telling the Sister's when I have no other choice. Until then, I will stay extremely quiet about mine and Isaiah's relationship and watch from the distance as you get crucified."
Hannah could tell from the way Sophie spoke that she was only teasing Hannah, her words spoken in a fun manner to cheer her up. Sophie had the right idea though and Hannah had learnt over time that if you said nothing, nobody could get involved. It was different now though. Almost everyone in Small Heath knew about Michael and Hannah's questionable relationship, every single one of their arguments out there in the public eye, people endlessly making comments about how they failed as a couple. Hannah always let those comments glide away, they didn't know the truth and they never would. Sadly, because of everyone's keen interests in the Shelby's and what they got up in their private lives, the Sister's often found out about what was going on. It wouldn't be long before someone caught on to Hannah and Michael reuniting - possibly through a prying neighbour who had seen Hannah leaving the house or possibly even from Lily - so Hannah had no choice but to tell the Sister's.
"Don't blame me when they find out from someone else and trust me, they will. All it takes is one person to see you and Isaiah all over each other as you leave the pub, that's it."
Hannah was warning Sophie, she knew first-hand what happened when others got involved with in relationships without knowing the full truth. Hannah wasn't going to sit there and blast Sophie for being with a Blinder though, she would learn the hard way like Hannah had to and if Sophie and Isaiah's love was strong, they would get through all of the bad stuff that happened.
"I appreciate your words." Sophie paused before moving Hannah out of the way. "But I'd appreciate it even more if you let me shower because the smell of this baby sick is not nice and I don't want Isaiah to go off me when he picks me up later."
Hannah chuckled before moving out of the bathroom, leaving Sophie to get ready for her date with Isaiah. It reminded Hannah of the early days, when she and Michael had just started to date. To Hannah, there was nothing more exciting in the world then dressing up, doing her hair and nails, making sure that her makeup looked perfect for a date with Michael. She enjoyed the look on Michael's face when she met him outside, dressed in her best frock as she kissed him hello.
The first thing Michael could do to get Hannah's full trust and love back was to take her to their favourite Italian restaurant where they had shared their first kiss.
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Hannah awkwardly ate her steak pie, avoiding eye contact with everyone as she tried to gather the words up in her hair. Sister Margaret would not be too fussed about Hannah rekindling her relationship with Michael and if she was, she would not express it. Sister Maria on the other hand would have a fit and Hannah's life would not be worth living, luckily, she was in a good mood after the successful delivery of a breech baby.
"Sister Maria, would you like some more tea?" Hannah asked, unaware of how sickly-sweet her voice was as she attempted to butter the nun up.
Sister Maria eyed Hannah up suspiciously before nodding her head. "Just get on with it, Hannah," she suddenly said, stilling Hannah's movements. "Just tell us what's on your mind so we can get this conversation over and done with."
Hannah was sure that Sister Maria already knew about Michael, the look in her eyes unreadable to Hannah. "There's nothing to discuss," Hannah lied, quickly backing out of the conversation before things went wrong. Hannah would wait a little longer to tell Sister Maria, give her enough time to think of the right words.
"Hannah."
"Sister Maria."
The whole dinner table was silent as they waited for Hannah to confess. Sister Margaret had slowly closed her eyes as she prepared herself for the war that was about to break out, more unwelcome tension in the convent that didn't need to be there. It had got to the point where Sister Margaret didn't care about who the nurses saw outside of their work, that's why she had said nothing about Sophie and Isaiah. Even though Sophie thought she was being secretive, she wasn't.
"What do you need to say?" Sister Maria asked, her eyes wide as she leaned over a tiny bit to look at Hannah who was sat on the other side of the table.
"It's really nothing - "
Hannah was cut off by Sister Maria scoffing. Hannah looked over at Sister Margaret for back up but she wasn't going to receive any support from her, this was down to Hannah to sort out. Alexandra just looked away, another person leaving Hannah to fight her own battles. Hannah was a strong woman though and she could make see Sister Maria see sense, it would probably just take a lot longer than usual, a good few years maybe.
"Hannah, just tell her," Alexandra jumped in, a reassuring smile on her face.
Hannah looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. If things were to go terribly wrong then at least Hannah would have a chance in New York with Michael seen as he had built up a life there.
"So, Michael is back home," Hannah started, taking a quick look around the table as she watched almost everyone's facial expressions change. "And I'm sure you've heard that he is engaged to another woman." Another look around, another change of expressions. Sister Maria almost seemed pleased at the news, believing that Michael couldn't work his way back into Hannah's life if he was due to marry another woman. "However, some things have happened over the last couple of weeks that I would like to talk to you all about."
Hannah felt oddly professional as she sat up straight, preparing herself for Sister Maria's loud shouting and angry words. Instead, Sister Maria leaned back in her chair and raised one eyebrow as she waited for Hannah to continue, longing to see where the topic went.
"Continue," Sister Maria said as she waved her hand out in front of her.
Hannah stayed mute for a few more minutes before speaking up again. "I've decided to give Michael another chance, probably not my greatest idea but we are both willing to see how it goes - " A groan from Sister Maria cut Hannah off, her eyes landing on the nun who was fake yawning, gesturing that she was bored of the conversation. The older nun had been here before with Hannah, had heard the same words over and over again. "I wanted to tell you all before you found out from someone else, it's the right thing to do."
"And what about his fiancée?" Sister Margaret said, finally joining in on the conversation so she could get her question out of the way.
"Michael has left Lily for me."
"Will you be moving to New York then?" Sister Maria questioned.
"No, we will be staying here in Birmingham... I mean, that's if you will have me still."
Sister Maria sighed loudly before raising her hands in the air. "I don't know what to say to you Hannah, I really don't. How many times have we been here? How many times have you sat around the dinner table and complained about Michael, only to go back running to him whenever you have the chance? I am not going to sit here and stop you from being with him but when things go wrong, and I'm positive they will at some point because every single one of those Shelby's are tainted, you will not come running back to me."
Hannah nodded once, her throat scratchy as she tried not to cry. "I understand that. I also want you to understand that things will work." Hannah was confident nothing was going to get in the way of them again. A lot of growing up had done, realisation from all parties that had been involved with their original parting of Hannah and Michael, nobody was going to get in the way of their happiness, Hannah simply wouldn't allow it. "I know that he's hurt me in the past but Michael has changed and I mean it this time. There are things you don't understand, and that goes for all of you, no-one in this room, apart from me, will ever know the full truth and that's the way it will always be."
"You can't expect us to like him after everything that has happened. Michael is the reason you went to prison - "
"Will you stop saying that?" Hannah shouted as she cut Sister Maria off. "It was my fault, not his. It was me who lied, it was me who knew about Michael's plans to kill Father Hughes and it was me who said nothing. Michael never forced me, okay?"
Hannah didn't mean to sound so harsh as she spoke but people blaming Michael for Hannah's stint in prison was the one thing, she hated the most. Hannah had made the choice to lie and that couldn't be pinned on Michael. Folk just wanted another reason to portray Michael as the bad man.
"It doesn't change the fact that he's messed you about before. We have sat and listened to you cry, time and time again over Michael and it's exhausting, Hannah. We love you, all of us do, but you have to understand where we are coming from."
"I know and I do understand, completely. If Alexandra was in my shoes, I would probably despise Michael but no-one knows how I'm feeling so I can't expect you to understand where I'm coming from and that's fine," Hannah replied, her eyes glossy as she fought back the tears. "I'm willing to forgive him though and that's final. Nothing will change my mind."
Hannah stood up at that and walked out of the room, not allowing another word to be said. The conversation would probably pick up again at breakfast but that gave Hannah a good twelve hours to think of some more excuses. After that, her main worry would be arranging a meeting with Tommy and putting their messy past behind them.
authors note; what even is this story anymore?? i don't wanna rush the ending but i kinda wanna get it over and done with because i feel like i'm going nowhere with it and the chapters r getting boring?? lemme know. please vote and leave feedback and also check out my john fic cos it aint getting enough love. i mean, it's john, smutty, and john??? what is not to love. thank u xxxx