A/N: double update because I should be writing an essay for English (and one for History) right now but all my brain can think is ShawnShawnShawn so I'm hoping that now I've got this out, I can write my essays. Anywho. Enjoy. Oh! And this is quickly crossing over with my stupid fantasy of one day being an actor and working with some people I really look up to, so ignore me name-dropping in this. It's purely for my entertainment lol
The rest of the evening leading up to the dinner is nothing short of a blur. My anxiety is running higher than ever as I try to focus on not vomiting, my brain still telling me this has to be some complete sick joke, that Andrew doesn't actually want me to have the part or anything to do with this movie.
Kate has the time of her life, I'm sure, trying to calm me down.
"Do I need to call Shawn?"
"No, for Christ's sake, I'm fine." The last thing I need is Shawn showing up. Because I know he would. He's busy with interviews right now, but I know the second my name popped up on his phone, he'd drop everything. And while that is sweet, I don't need him doing that. I can handle myself. I need to show that I can.
"Okay," Kate doesn't sound at all convinced. "We're almost there."
"Okay."
"I'm going to sit next to you," she offers. "It'll be Andrew, me, you, Joe, and two others, I believe."
"Others?"
"I think Lily and her boyfriend might be joining us."
"Why?" Are we allowed to bring boyfriends? God, was it expected that I bring Shawn?
"No, Matt, he might be in the movie too. I didn't see the final cast list, but I think I heard Andrew mention him."
"Okay," I breathe. "Should I know any of these people?"
My best friend smiles softly. "Not at all. They might be familiar, but if you don't, it's okay. It's always a good ice breaker when someone has no clue."
"Awesome," I chuckle. That makes me feel a little better, knowing that if I don't recognize any of them then it can at least be something to joke about. I hope none of them are hurt if I don't recognize them.
I'm bad with faces, really. I've met a lot of people. It's hard to keep everyone straight.
"We're here," the driver announces, nearly scaring me half to death because I completely forgot he was up there.
"Thanks Jim," Kate smiles. She turns to me. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," I reply with a smile, thinking if I smile then it'll trick my anxiety into going away. A smile means everything is okay. Think of Shawn. He smiles in the most hectic moments to let me know it's all okay. And vice versa.
I slide across the seat to exit on the passenger side, being sure not to step on my dress as I get out of the car. Kate shuts the door behind us, grabbing my arm and linking ours together, something we've always done, but haven't in a while.
"I just realized it's been a while since we went out," I murmur to her as we make our way to the door. A man opens it for us, letting us inside.
"I was thinking the same thing," she replies once we're inside, out of the loudness from the streets of New York City. "But just think, we'll be able to hang out all the time on set."
The thought does make my heart beat a little faster. "You're gonna be sick of me."
"I was thinking that!" She laughs, leaning into me. "It's going to be amazing."
"I can't wait," I say, our conversation ending as she steps up to the desk, asking if Andrew Moore's party has been seated yet.
A look of surprise crosses the man's face when he sees us. "Right this way," he says, leading us off to the left.
We walk for what seems like forever, but the reason is revealed when we are escorted into a private room. Which, I should've known. A private dinner is almost assumed when Andrew Moore is the host, right? Silly me.
So far, it looks like only Andrew and one other guest have arrived, both standing to greet Kate and I when we walk inside.
"You must be the famous Rylie." Andrew's statement catches me off guard, but I try to keep my nerves under control enough to answer him.
"That's me," I let out a nervous chuckle. "It's so nice to finally meet you."
"And I you," he replies, giving my hand a firm shake before letting me go. He gestures to the other guest, who doesn't look at all familiar to me. "This is Joe Alwyn, a dear friend and another member of the cast."
The name doesn't even ring a bell. This is going to be a long night.
The other actors in attendance that piled in after Kate and I were none that I recognized. Well, Matt Smith I recognized a little from previous late-night dives on Tumblr, but outside of that, everyone else's face is basically brand new. Lily James was the one bringing the date, which is Matt Smith himself.
So, with Andrew sitting across from me, Kate to my left and Joe to my right with Matt and Lily sitting in front of them (surprisingly, the couple didn't mind being split up, which only made me wonder if Shawn and I have been overplaying the couple charade because we can never seem to sit close enough), we began discussing the film.
I already knew it would be a period piece, set after WWII in England and America. But hearing Andrew discuss the fine details – he worked with a friend, Anni, when writing the script, so this wasn't a total one-man job – only makes me fall in love with the story even more.
"I know all of you have received your parts, but since this is your first role, Rylie," Andrew pauses, and I try not to focus on the shocked glances from around the table, "I wanted to tell you about yours in person."
I raise an eyebrow, trying to form a smile so I don't seem too skeptical. "Okay...?"
Kate squeezes my arm. "You better tell her before I burst."
"You know?"
"Rylie, you have the lead role. I want you to play Margaret."
I don't remember a lot of details of what happened after. I know I fumbled through some words of gratitude, probably saying how much I don't deserve this at all, before we toasted with a glass of wine to making the movie. I know Andrew didn't want to discuss the technical details – he wanted us to have fun and get to know one another, first and foremost – but he did say filming would begin in the middle of June.
Which, he looked to all of us, but mostly me, and noted that he made sure it worked with our current work schedules. I don't know if the wine in my system heightened my senses or not, but I felt as if everyone's eyes were on me then, wondering what current work I do if this is my first acting role.
First professional acting role, I have to remind myself. The wine helps my deep subconscious bring forth the memory of acting in a school play in elementary and middle school – something I intentionally blocked out of my conscious memories. Kate still thinks what I do now – with fake relationships and all – is real acting. But boy, if she knew how little acting goes into every day with Shawn, she wouldn't call it a real acting job.
Which is terrifying, really.
But, Andrew said he would send the technical details to our respective managers and agents to eventually get to us. After that, we stopped discussing the film as much and strangely the air shifted to us hanging out as if we're a group of old friends.
Andrew jokes at one point that he's "kept these two separated long enough," so he switches seats with Matt, allowing him to sit next to Lily. The two immediately share a brief kiss, no doubt holding hands underneath the table cloth, but everything returns to normal from there.
We talk of previous jobs everyone has done, leaving me definitely feeling as the odd one out, and surprisingly enough, no one does question my current work. Which I am thankful for. Because I have no real answer nor a real way to defend myself. Not that I would need to, but I have run into people before who weren't too kind toward my line of work. As if I really had any choice in the matter after being kicked out at eighteen.
Only once does Andrew bring up Joe's relationship, which Joe quietly says, "She's well, thank you," and moves on. We all move on, but it doesn't keep me from wondering who she is.
Andrew teases Kate – as usual, she tells me – about not having someone, but she jokes with him in good nature about not finding the right person to balance her out. Which is overwhelmingly true.
I hold my breath, thinking I'm next in Andrew's line of fire about relationships, but that isn't at all what he brings up.
"Did she tell you the reason I want you to have the role?"
I blink, registering his question. "Uh, no, actually. She didn't say anything." I pause to chuckle. "I'm still having a hard time believing any of this is real."
Andrew smiles, almost sadly. "Margaret is my aunt. This is her story, her uh...adventure to America, as she calls it. You remind me of her in more ways than I can think of, that it only felt right for you to have this role."
I still have a hard time processing as I stare at him. "But..."
"She was humble. She was feisty. She had a heart full of fire. She did some of the wildest things imaginable, and yet she still managed to stay kind and her adventurous soul somehow settled down one day."
I don't know why, but the last sentence brings on a slight pull in my chest.
"But your humor reminds me of her. The fast wit."
"It's very British," Joe comments from beside me with a teasing smile.
"Thanks?" I chuckle. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment."
"It is," Andrew nods.
In a sudden rush of confidence – it's probably the wine – I ask, "Would you be alright with telling me stories about your aunt one day?" I pause, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I'd love to get to know her more. I wanted to thank you for trusting me with her story, but I still want to do her justice."
"I would love to do that."
So, even though filming itself won't begin until the middle of June, all of us are advised to come to Vancouver – where it's filming – early. To scope around the scenery, to get settled in, and to spend more time getting to know one another since we'll be playing a family and close group of friends. This puts me with a few days in between finishing this job with Shawn and flying to Vancouver.
The lack of time in between is probably for the better. Throwing myself from one job to the next has never been a specialty, but after one like this, I'm sure I'm going to need it. Giving myself time to think about it after it ends is probably the worst thing I could ever do.
+++
"So you knew about the role, too?"
Sidney lets out a laugh from the other end of the phone. "I did, actually."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I almost scream, but I'm not frustrated. Maybe a little, but I'm mostly excited and amused and many other things.
"He wanted to surprise you!" Sidney defends. "Are you excited?"
"Beyond that," I breathe, kicking my shoes off. I have the hotel room to myself for a while because Shawn went out with some friends tonight after he finished working. "He said I remind him so much of his aunt that that's why he wanted me to have it."
"Mhm."
"You knew that, too, I'm guessing?"
"I did."
"I swear," I chuckle. "Well, thank you. It was a nice surprise."
"You're welcome." I can hear his triumphant smile. "Did he tell you when filming begins?"
I still. I nod, even though Sidney can't see me. "He did. But we're going early."
"Yes."
"Which is right after..."
"Your contract ends, yes."
"Yeah."
"Is your contract going to end?"
I furrow my eyebrows. "What?"
"I just mean, are you and Shawn—"
"Sidney, it's just a job," I remind him and myself. "We might keep in touch—" I actually don't know. It might be too hard. "But when the contract ends, it ends."
"Okay," he replies quietly. "Just checking."
"I know," I murmur.
I let a few moments of silence pass.
"Hey, Sidney?"
"Yes?"
"When does the contract end?"
"May...25th," he replies. "When Shawn's album is released."
I close my eyes. Three weeks. "Okay."
"Why? Are you counting down the days?"
"No," I pause. "I was just wondering."
Just wondering how many days I have left.