"What are you doing here?" I ask Chi who waltz into my office without knocking and a package under her arm. "You didn't knock."
With her, I don't have to pretend to be busy so I push the laptop aside to send her the meanest glare I can muster at this point. She flips her long, invisible weaves that have been substituted for a low sleek bun and I nearly tear up from laughing so hard. Chi tries to maintain a straight face but a snicker escapes her. Giggles spill from her pouted lips and it has me laughing harder.
I straighten up, all traces of laughter wipes from my face. "Who's laughing with you?" She freezes. "I didn't ask you to come in."
She fakes a yawn and lowers herself to one of the two empty seats in front of me. Her fingers drum on the surface of the big box she placed on the table after sitting and I pretend not to know she's waiting for me.
"Open it."
Biting the tip of my pen, I bring my fingers to the bow on the box and when I have her attention, I lean back in my swivel chair. She grunts, her fist descends on the table and her cheeks grow a faint red. I wink, tugging on the string of the bow hard enough to heighten her curiosity without unknotting it. When she bangs her fist on the table again, I give in after an eye roll and tear off the packaging to reveal a rectangular box.
I don't try to guess what's inside, the few times I did, I was never right. Smoothing the front of my jacket, I bite the insides of my lips, eyeing the box with more interest than I let on. That guy is full of pleasant surprises.
"You know we have Aaron to run these type of errands, right?" I reiterate the question I have always asked since Chi took it upon herself to become Paul's errand girl.
"Yes, boss." She nods. "Open it."
A small smile flits to my lips at the mention of boss, the image of a certain handsome cook who has made it a habit of sending me gifts plays in my mind. I blink, trying not to smear the eyeliner I judiciously applied.
The first thing that comes into view when I open the box is a smaller box of chocolate, a brand different from the one King gave me. I never told him about giving the chocolate to Chi or how those flowers beautified the dustbin at the entrance of my house until the refuse dumpers came to do their job. Something tells me Chi did the telling on my behalf, at least on the chocolate part but I don't ask, she can't keep a secret for long.
Days have gone by, two weeks precisely, we haven't seen each other or had another chance to talk since that fiasco in my office. I can always demand his presence but a part of me is waiting for him to make the move that shows he wants me for more than random kisses. The gifts are a sign he still wants me but I want to know just how much and I want him to do that in person.
My smile grows as I take out the chocolate, I know they won't last a week and my brows furrow at the sight of a cloth-like object and an envelope inside the box. Chi clears her throat as if to remind me of her long-forgotten presence and I hide the note I extricated from the envelope behind me.
"What?" I bark even though she didn't say anything. She rolls her eyes and shrugs, I mutter a string of apologies, my attention already redirected to the gifts on the table.
"Curiosity kills the cat," I mutter.
"Satisfaction brought it back," is her quick reply. I roll my eyes and shake my head.
We both know she won't leave here until she finds out what that cloth-like thing on the table is and to be honest, I don't mind showing her. Until Paul and I can put a label to our feelings, we will have to analyse every gift I receive from him together.
Putting the note aside, I pick up the material and I almost scream when I realise it's a brush set. A brush set. My eyes grow to the size of saucers, I grin at Chi who smiles in return. Picking up one of the big brushes, I wiggle my eyebrows and pretend to apply powder on my cheeks. The action causes me and Chi to burst out laughing, I rub my palms against my knees, tapping my feet in angst as my eyes descend on the note.
Excitement pumps through my veins, I purse my lips while trying to steady my heart long enough to read the content of the note without mincing words. I never know what to expect with Paul but I like that I have been getting to see more of his nicer, romantic side even if he's denying me of his presence. A sigh escapes me, I wipe my hands dry on my skirt and retrieve the note.
Chi clears her throat again, I scowl and bring the note to my eye level. The beauty of his handwriting enthrals me all over again like the first time, I sigh and pout. His message is short and my face scrunches in a mix of mild annoyance and happiness.
The only silence I want between us is that of our lips meeting in a kiss. I'm trying.
I miss you.
💝Paul.
He's trying? Why can't he try harder? My fingers involuntarily move to my lips which tingles at the reminder of our last kiss and my body thrums in response to the images replaying in my mind. Our valentine date feels like decades ago. I miss it, I miss him too. We should have made more memories, gone on more outings. My chest tightens, a feeling of frustration sweeps through me. I sigh. How can he be so close yet so far?
"Where's he?"
Chi must have sensed the change in my mood because she answers with the same seriousness, "Downstairs."
"Downstairs?" She nods. I stretch the note to her face knowing she can't see the content with the way I scrunched it. "He misses me and he's downstairs yet he won't come to see me. Is he avoiding me?" Her stare is one of confusion as she slowly shakes her head.
Out of annoyance, I ball the paper. "What does he want from me?" My fist connects with the table. "I can't keep doing this."
Chi rises from her seat in slow motion, her lips pull into a grimace from trying to hold back her laughter and I hurl the note which she manages to dodge. She finds this funny because she's not being starved of his presence, I haven't seen that man in days.
"Calm down."
Folding my arms across my chest, I huff and glare at her. So easy for her to say. I hiss and let out a silent scream. Moments like this make me wish I had a switch for my feelings, I would have turned it off long ago.
"I cannot calm down," I mutter. She doesn't know he's avoiding me but I do. "I don't want this anymore. Tell him to stop sending me gifts if he can't come up to see me." My eyes close briefly. "I want more than gifts from him, that's not too much to ask."
The only thing holding us back is him. Him and his ability to let go of a past that's none of his concern. I am here now, single and willing to mingle with him but he's hell-bent on holding onto my records. How hard is it to ask me out?
"It's not but I know he likes you too, he's just taking his time." Her shoulders sag, her eyes take on a pleading look that's meant to reassure me. "Paul is a bit old school, you know? He likes to do things differently."
"Old school?" I scoff at her poor attempt at defending him. I hate it when she does that. Though I know she means well, it only serves as a reminder of how little I know about him and how much she knows.
"He kissed me the first day he walked into my office. Old school?" I scoff again and shake my head. With the way we were kissing after our valentine's date, we might have had sex and here she is talking about him being old school. Old school indeed.
"Okay, Pauline. What do you want me to do?" Chi asks with her arms akimbo.
"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "You are the best friend, not me." She should figure something out, she's the one who has lived with him and knows how he operates.
"I'm the best friend?" she mocks. "Am I holding your legs? Or has the elevator stopped working?" My jaw drops at the annoyance laced in her voice. "If he doesn't come up to check on you, what happened to you going down to see him? All you care about is what he's not doing while you sit on your high horse making demands like relationships don't take two people to make it work."
She takes one step towards me and I shrink, in shock and surprise. Her anger has never been directed at me and her words hurt more than the disappointment written all over her face. I only asked for her help to win her best friend, she doesn't have to go on attack mode.
"What have you done for him? What have you done to show him you care? What?"
Placing a hand over my racing heart, I try to tune her out. "Chi," my voice cracks, "stop it."
"I've done my best for you two," she mutters in a surprisingly calmer voice, her chest heaving. "The ball is in your court now."
* * *
"Where's he?" I try to lower my voice but I can't help the sharpness that comes with it.
On a regular day, I will never raise my voice on the staff but the verbal lashing from Chi has put me in a mood. She was telling the truth but it didn't mean I wanted to hear it. She could have been kinder with her words, we are friends. I sigh. Now I have two people avoiding me and the rest of the staff might start doing that if I keep up with this attitude. At this rate, I might as well start a class on how to get people to avoid you.
"He's... he's in the kitchen," Okon responds.
It's a bit strange to see this usually scary giant I am afraid to speak back at cower under my glare and my guilt intensifies. The thought of sending back the breakfast he brought vanishes from my mind, I fiddle with my pendant and sigh. I should transfer all my aggression to Paul who I am yet to see. Chi's words hurt but not enough for me to throw my pride and go running after him. I know he's fine and downstairs, if he misses me as much as he claims to, he is welcome to see me. I want to see him too.
"I'm sorry." I take a deep breath. Pointing to the flask, I say, "Thank you, you can go."
After his departure, I stare at the flask on the desk. It has been the new routine since the gifts started coming in. Aaron would bring my breakfast, Chi would come in later with a package. My thoughts wander briefly to the tall, lanky errand boy and I wonder why Okon came instead of him. He brought the flowers on Paul's behalf. We have also managed to establish a cordial relationship which involves a daily briefing about Paul's whereabouts and wellbeing.
My eyes trail to the bouquet on the window sill, I still feel bad for discarding King's gift. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if Paul is trying to replace any memory I have with King. The flowers, the chocolates. He doesn't need to do that because he's the only one I spend my spare time thinking about. I don't understand this game he is playing but it's working, I have fallen harder for him.
A wistful sigh escapes me as I take a trip down memory lane. The first day Chi came with a note from him, it had taken all of my willpower not to go find him. His lines are always poetic, thoughtful too, so are his gifts. He had written something about my eyes, accompanied the note with a set of eyeliners, going on to tell me how he loves the way my eyes pop whenever I use them.
I find his attention to my makeup needs cute; endearing. My favourite line is the one about my eyes. Yes, I have brown eyes but there's nothing special about them like his note says. That didn't stop me from ending up in front of my bathroom mirror later in the evening of the same day, applying his eyeliner in an effort to see my eyes pop.
A knock sounds on my door, I clear my throat and dab the corners of my eyes. I still use the stupid eyeliner in hopes he will see me and my popping eyes. The knock sounds again and my body goes rigid when the person behind the door introduces herself as Chi. I cannot deal with another round of lashing and I admit I haven't been making as much effort but she doesn't know why.
I gulp and tug on my pendant. "Come in."
The silence that descends in the office once Chi steps in is almost suffocating. I stare at her, noting the lack of any package in her hand with mild hurt. Her Ankara printed gown hugs her figure and I compliment her.
"Thank you. Good morning," she greets and I nod in response. Yesterday she wasn't behind the counter when I came in, the same thing happened this morning but from the attendance book, I knew she had already arrived. "Pauline, I owe you an apology."
Shaking my head, I mutter, "No, you don't."
"I'll apologise anyway," she murmurs and the corners of my lips twitch. "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you the other day, I lost it. I'm just so protective of Paul and it felt like you were not trying or being appreciative of his efforts." My mouth opens but she holds a hand up to stop me. "I did as you asked so he will not be sending any more gifts but I can't stop him from sending the food."
"Oh."
I cannot explain the feeling that settles in the pit of my stomach but it leaves me empty and with an ache in my chest. I refuse to look up when Chi clears her throat, I don't have the strength to look at her or even get mad because I asked for it.
Maybe it's the way my shoulders droop or the sadness hanging in the air that makes her say, "I can tell him to continue with the gifts if you want, he doesn't mind. I don't mind being the delivery lady either."
"No," I shake my head and raise my eyes to her face, "it's fine. I didn't expect you to take me seriously." The smile I offer her is the fakest in the history of our friendship and she reciprocates it with a more genuine one. "Apology accepted. How are you?"
"Fine." Her eyes wander between me and the chair, usually, she would sit but I guess she's also feeling the awkwardness. I offer her the seat and she sinks into it with a murmur of thanks, that's also new. "Fine."
We stay in silence for a few seconds, each of us to our thoughts. It's a bit strange, we are never out of topics to discuss due to our shared interests but this feels like a better option to getting reprimanded.
"How's he?"
She doesn't need a name to know who I am asking about. "Fine." A few seconds pass. "He's downstairs."
Fiddling with my pendant, I mutter, "Cool." A look crosses her face but it's gone before I can identify it. I reach for the last drawer and pull out an envelope which I hold out to her. "Can you give this to him?" She starts to shake her head but I interrupt her with, "You said you don't mind being the errand girl." Two seconds and a scowl later, she agrees. "Thank you."
"I have a party tonight," she says as her hand disappears from the table. "Want to come?" Without waiting for my response she continues, "You need it. You need to step outside this office, loosen up and meet men finer than Paul."
With my elbows resting on the table and palms intertwined behind my neck, I pout. "I don't want finer men, I want Paul."
Chi mimics my words, her head moving left, right like a malfunctioning robot and I scowl. I don't sound like that, my voice isn't even that tiny. She offers me a small smile, my eyes narrow until she burst into a fit of giggles and my shoulders sag as the tension evaporates. I missed her and her troubles yesterday, she did a great job of hiding from me. But I know now we are good.
"We will leave by nine, no African time."