"So girl you're worth it
The way you work it
You deserve it
I can tell you"
***
Well I guess I'm going to be dead at work tomorrow, but staring up at those green eyes I can't find myself minding at all.
There's something so soft and comforting surrounding us at the moment, and whilst there's that tension in the room between us, it's not the usual sparking fire crackling kind, it's like the tension from a constricting hug, it's warm and loving, and while it's different I'm finding it just as intoxicating.
Harry leans back onto his knees as he looks down at me, taking the material of my shirt and tugging it up until I lift my arms and he pulls it up over my body, till I'm left in just my underpants.
I don't feel the need to shy away from him, when I'm naked now, the way he looks at me still makes me squirm but at the same time, the way he looks at me makes me feel confident, how he just looks like I'm the most incredible thing he's ever seen.
I know that look, because it's how I look at him too.
Harry traces his eyes over my bare torso, running his humid hands up my thighs until he hooks his fingers into the fabric of my underwear, shuffling himself back to slide them down my legs, before tossing them behind me, giving me a cheeky lopsided smile.
"Thank god they're gone, they're a bloody nuisance"
I roll my eyes, smiling as I give him a sarcastic look "You're a bloody nuisance"
He crawls back over me, resting on his knees between my legs with his elbows next to my shoulders "Mmmmm you love it though" he muses smugly, pecking my lips.
My stomach tightens at those words, and I have no idea what I should say to that, I know he doesn't realise how true that statement really was, even if he was just teasing.
I do love it Harry, because I love you, and I have no idea if you'll ever be in a place where I could tell you that.
Harry notices the strange look on my face, quirking his brows "You okay?"
I wipe the thought from my mind, giving him a small smile "M'fine, it's just been a long day"
He gives me a disbelieving look, but thankfully decides not to push it.
He looks over my face, creasing his brows "I don't like the things your mum said to you"
"I know, I didn't like them either" I tell him, running my fingers over his lower back.
He looks at me seriously "You don't believe her you do you? What she says about you?"
I chew on my lip, shrugging my shoulders "Not as much as I used to"
Harry shakes his head, frowning "No that's not good enough, you shouldn't believe them at all, what she said isn't true"
I look between Harrys eyes, feeling my heart clench and swell at the same time "Sometimes it's hard not to believe things you've been told your whole life, even if they're lies"
Harry pauses, knowing I'm not just talking about myself and presses his lips together and sighs.
"Well, I wanna show you, all the things I like about you - I like you just the way you are" he says, looking determined but also sad, I think he knew I wasn't confident, that I let people tell me who to be, but I don't think he realised that he wasn't the only one that believed terrible things about themselves.
I keep those things to myself, I'm usually too worried about other people and making them feel good, I'm a lot better now though, and Harry is a big part of the reason why.
Harry shuffles off of me, leaning up on his elbow, on his side next to me, and smooths his hand over my sternum and stomach.
"I have a lot of things I like about you" he says, watching my face, trailing his finger between my breasts, up to my neck and I just listen to him, watching his face wondering where he's going with this.
He brings his finger up to trace over my lips "I like these, they're soft and they're one of the things I couldn't stop thinking about when I first saw you"
I smile against his finger before he pulls it away and presses a kiss to them, and leans back again.
"I like these too" he says, stroking the pad of his finger on my cheek under my eye "Those eyes, felt like I was punched in the stomach first time you looked at me, couldn't get them out of my mind. I like the way you see things - and I really like the feeling I get, the way you look at me with them, feels amazing"
My heart is jumping with each word, and he has so much adoration and emotion in his eyes, it's swelling my own emotions in my throat.
He brings his finger up to tap my temple and smiles "And I can't get enough of this, you're quirky and weird, funny, devious and innocent - so smart and somehow so oblivious at the same time sometimes, but I wouldn't change a single thing - you fascinate me with it, always have"
I bite on my lip as I swallow harshly, trying to push down the lump in my throat. He's such a gentle soul and so unaware of it, he's so wrapped up in the violence and darkness he's been surrounded by he can't see that he's the light in it.
Violence isn't his nature, it was his nurture and I wish he could understand that.
He leans his face down capturing my lips with his as he kisses me softly, slowly pulling himself back up to hover over me as he slots between my legs, before kissing a trail down my jaw to me neck, spending his time nipping and sucking at spots before he moves to my collar bone.
My body is tingling in rhythm with my heart, it's an overpowering feeling, your body and emotions being stimulated so fiercely.
He drags his lips down to my chest, humming to himself "And this body" he starts, sliding a hand to my hip to palm it as he moves his lip to the swell of my breast, leaving hot brandings of kisses around it before moving to the other "Had me dizzy as soon as I saw it, wanted to worship every curve, freckle, every inch - had me weak Abby" he murmurs against my skin before swirling his tongue around my pebbled nipple, sucking it into his mouth and making my breath catch in my throat.
He pulls his mouth away, shuffling down as he ghost his lips down my sternum and I watch as the brown mop on curls goes down my body to my stomach, feeling like my body is a thousand degrees and my feelings are flaming it.
"But what I like most about it, is that it belongs to you - that's what makes it so special to me" he says thoughtfully, sounding distracted by his own lips.
It's taking every ounce of my strength not to cry, I'm not sure if Harry would understand the concept of crying because you were that fucking happy you're emotions melted and drained from your eyes, but god he's fucking pushing me to it.
He pauses his lips near my hip, pulling his face back, looking at it fondly and tapping his finger to it "I like these too" he says, gesturing to the small bumble bee tattoo on my hip.
"You do?" I ask, trying to keep my voice from showing just how god damn wrecked he has me right now.
He's never mentioned any of my tattoos, but then again I forget they're there half the time too, they're so small and unnoticeable in comparison to the plethora that he has, not to mention everyone he's around, the small few ones I have seem like nothing in comparison to the full body and face tattoos he's surrounded by.
"Mhmmm" he hums, tracing his finger over it before going to the small David Bowie lightening bolt on my other one, then to the dainty lettering on my ribs.
All of my tattoos are either words or just fine line black outlines of sentimental things, they aren't bold or big like his but they all hold special memories.
"Been meaning to ask you about them" he says, before flicking his eyes to mine and grinning "Just get distracted around you"
I roll my eyes, and he looks at the words on my ribs "D.R.E.A.M" he wonders "What's that stand for?"
I press my lips together to try and hide my smile before I mumble "Dogs Rule Everything Around Me"
Harry barks out a laugh as his face lights up, staring at me and back to the tattoo "Of course that's what it fucking means, that's perfect"
I just smile back at him, enjoying how bright his face looks when he smiles like that, he's beautiful, I wish he could always have the boyish joy on his face.
He glances his eyes around my torso, and looks back to me "They're cute, like you. I know you've got more" he says raising a brow "But you're gonna have to tell me about them another time"
"Why's that?" I ask, sucking in a breath when his fingers traces down between my hips to my pubic bone, tickling his fingers around the delicate hairs there before ghosting them over my heat.
He tilts his head, wetting his lips before he raises his brows "Because I'm distracted again"
My mouth parts, as I pant out a breath when he drags his fingers up and down my heat, collecting and feeling the moisture that's pooled there because of him.
He keeps his eyes on my face, watching my reflexes before pulling his fingers away "You know what else I like Abby?"
"What?" I ask with a shallow sigh, thinking about how amazed I would be with myself months ago that I manage to somewhat keep up conversations with him during moments like these now.
I'm still awful at it, but I'm getting better.
He brings his fingers to his lips, darting his tongue out to swirl around them before sucking them into his mouth, treating them like a damn lollipop before slowly sliding them out of his puckered cherry lips.
I am not okay right now.
"The way you taste" he hums in satisfaction "If I was on death row and had to pick my last meal, this would be it and trust me when I say I'd die happy"
My cheeks are flushing deeper as the blood in my body rushes to them, my heart beating tirelessly trying to direct it to all the areas it's trying to flood to in my body.
I grip hold of the sheets on the bed, feeling like I'm about to fall off the face of the earth at this moment, the love in my veins and the ache in my core are wreaking havoc on every sense I have.
His dimple pops in his cheek to show a lopsided approval on his lips over how I'm reacting, and he moves his pointer and middle fingers back between my legs, dancing a slow circular pattern over my sensitivity that makes my back arch before tracing them down between my folds to my entrance, his mouth dropping open as he let's out a low groan when he slowly slides them inside.
I match his expression, my brows creasing in pleasure as I pant out a moan, watching the muscles in his bicep and forearm tense as he massages his fingers against my front wall.
"I wish I could tell you how good you feel, I can't even describe what it does to me, like doesn't even come close to explaining it" he says thickly, sucking his lower lip under his teeth and releasing it with a hiss when he feels my muscles contract and hug around his fingers.
"I've tried every drug you can imagine Abby, I'm not proud of it - it's just a fact, but absolutely nothing I've done comes close to being as addicting as how you feel to me" he finishes his sentence, by curling his fingers against me, hitting that sweet spot he knows so well but keeps his movements lazy but deliberate.
He keeps watch on my eyes, rubbing his palm over the hardness in his briefs, his brows tilting as he let's out a shallow gasp.
"There's no rehab for something like you Abby" he breathes "M'fuckin done for and I'm okay with that"
I circle my hip against his hand, whimpering at the intensity of what my body is going through, I wish I could rip my feelings out of chest and shove them into his, just so he know what this felt like, how impossibly in love with him I am.
He swallows harshly, wetting his lips like he's dehydrated as his breathing shallows and he moves forward, keeping the lords work going with his fingers as he rests his weight on his elbow and hovers over me again.
"But you wanna know my favourite thing about you baby?" he asks, his brows pinching as I tense around his fingers and gasp at the feeling.
"Wh- what?" I stammer short of breath.
His face softens, has he presses his lips together like he's been overcome with emotion suddenly before he leans his face down and presses his lips against where my heart is thumping in my chest.
He leaves his lips there, keeping a slow motion with his fingers, before puckering his lips and peppering several kisses to my skin.
He lifts his face and looks at me, the sincerity in his raspy voice is what finally does me in "That's my favourite, it's everything you are, and it's incredible. I feel lucky that something that precious cares about me, I don't think I'm worth it but I want to be, I want to be that for you because you're worth it. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you need to be anything but what you are, because who are is worth everything to me"
I choke on my breath, my eyes burning and brimming with tears as I grab his face, pulling it towards me to crash my lips against his, knowing its the only thing I can do from stopping me yelling those three words at the top of my lungs at him.
I'll never feel like this with anyone else, I never want to, because they wouldn't be him.
I kiss him with everything I can push out of me, desperate with my lips and tongue as emotions close my throat and my eyes soak my lashes as the moisture breaks from my closed eyes.
I move my hand down to where his hand is connected with me, pushing it away and he obliges, slipping his fingers out and deepens the kiss, his mouth commanding mine as I wrap my leg around him pulling his hips to me as I palm over his length before tugging at his briefs hastily, begging against his mouth.
"Need you, please, no more talking I just need you"
"Need you too, always do" he mumbles as he nods quickly, panting while his hand goes to tug his briefs down, his warm solid length hitting my pubic bone as he pulls them down his hips, frantically tugging them down his thighs until he can shuffle his legs to kick them off.
We keep kissing each other languidly, spilling our desperate emotions into each other while he wraps his hand around his rigid length, pumping it a few times before positioning himself between my legs, dragging the tip around my drenched folds before pressing it to my entrance.
We gasp into each others mouths as they hang open against each other while he inches forward, his body tensing above me as he chokes out a tight sound, while my muscles stretch and wrap around him while he slowly pushes forward.
He kisses me with messy tongues and uncoordinated lips as he catches my moans into his mouth when he sinks into me completely, stilling there as he pants and urges my legs to wrap around him, sliding his arm under my lower back to angle my hips up and pulling me closer to him, but it just doesn't seem close enough.
Our chests are heaving, sweat breaking out over his brow as I wrap my arms around him, lacing my fingers into his hair.
"Care about you so fuckin' much" he pants, his sentence coming out broken between our mashing lips and laboured breathing.
"I care about you too, so so much" I agree sounding just as hopeless, but knowing those words don't even come close to how I feel but it's all I can say for now.
He pulls his hips back, only to push them back slowly, beginning languid drawn out strokes, like he was playing a sweet affectionate song on a violin, making my body sing along with it.
"Oh god" he says under his breath, seeming overwhelmed and buries his face into the crook of my neck.
Harry and I have had sex several times now, but not once has it ever felt like this.
He continues the harmonious pace he's started as I move my hips in tune with his, feeling his heavy breaths puff out against my neck, as his arm hugs around me, pulling me tight against him, every muscle in his body contracting and flexing with every move of his hips.
Everything feels so sensitive, so heightened, it's completely raw and vulnerable between both of us and the power of it is devastating.
The pressure around us keeps building as he hugs me to him, sounding completely lost with whimpering moans and ragged breathing.
"Don't know what's going in, 'the fuck is happening, this feels, it feels - oh Jesus Christ" he moans hoarsely, muffled against my neck, rolling his hips into me as his length caresses and hits the places in me that are aching as hard as my chest.
"Please don't stop" I plead quickly, tightening my fingers into his hair as I squeeze my eyes shut, worried that he will get too overwhelmed and it will scare him.
I know he would have no idea that is what is going on, it's just our bodies trying to scream everything we're feeling.
The mix of softness and intensity there that's so polarising to how he normally is, but I'll be damned if it's not the single most life changing thing I've ever felt.
I'll never be the same after him, I never want there to be an after him.
His arm he's resting his weight on his elbow on, slides under the back of my neck, hugging me against him as he groans against my neck, sounding completely lost and overcome by what he's experiencing as his thrusts become more deliberate, nothing rough about it, just desperate.
"Fuck it's like I can't get close enough, can't get enough of you" he chokes out, our bodies becoming humid as they writhe against each other.
"This is gonna sound so stupid" he pants, gripping me tighter as he grunts when I tense around him as I start to feel the bliss throbbing from my core start to roll out wards through my body, tensing my stomach as an orgasm I can already sense is going to cripple me.
"It won't, I promise" I urge him, trying to suck in air but failing as he sinks into me completely grinding and circling his hips against me.
"It's like- ah!" he grunts, clenching his teeth as his thrusts start to become uneven "It's like my dick has fucking feelings, never felt like this"
I press my face into his shoulder, fighting the urge to laugh under my breath at his way of explaining things and moan out a broken "It's okay, it feels amazing, you feel amazing"
"So'fuckin amazing" he agrees in a raspy groan.
That spring that's compressed down in my belly is about to release as we get lost in each other, my back arching into him as my hips thrust back against him desperately as my whole body starts to tense, and I mewl out a strangled "I'm close, Jesus please don't stop"
Harry starts to suck in sharp breaths, like he's hyperventilating as he hisses through his teeth when he feels my muscles grip him, contracting as my tummy trembles and that crippling sensation starts to seep through me.
"Need you baby, so bad, please come - need to feel it" he urges me, using the last bit of his composure to use pointed thrusts to drive me over the edge.
My whole body jolts underneath him as I cry out clinging to him, and he rips his face from my neck, slamming his lips into mine as my release hits me.
Our kissing is fucking useless, it's just our mouths moving broken against each other as I make inhumane sounds, feeling every limb in my body overcome with the liquid heat and sparks that shake it until I can't even control my own reflexes.
Harry gasps frantically above me, sounding on the verge of tears with how hoarse his voice is when he cries out in shock "Abby, Holy- Holy shit, what the fuck is-"
He chokes on his own words as his body seizes above me, before his hips snap forward and he buries himself inside of me as my walls clamp around him, his body convulsing above me while his head falls against my neck and he yells a strangled "Fuck!" that sounds like it ripped his vocal chords as his own release courses through him.
His length twitches and throbs inside of me as his body trembles, clamping his arms around me while my own spasms as he releases, spilling his warmth in spurts as he chants jibberish against my neck.
I can't blame him, I'm not even making sense, I just keep gasping and saying religious profanities in Harrys name.
I'm just praising any god I can that I didn't say I love you, because I wouldn't have been able to stop it.
Both of our bodies are slick and humid as we try to breathe clung to each other, aftershocks rolling through us as we just lay useless with each other as we ride it out.
After a small eternity of us slumped against each other, the weight of Harry not feeling anything but comforting while he can't even hold himself up - he manages to roll off of me, while I gasp at the feeling of him slipping out of me, but he pulls me in the same motion until I roll against him, slumping my arm over his tensing stomach.
"Wow... I think our emotions just fucked" he sighs out aimlessly, not even sounding like he's talking to anyone just making sense of it.
"Sounds about right" I mumble exhausted, smiling to myself.
Of course he'd say that.
He blows out a heavy breath, wrapping his arm around me tighter as he presses a kiss to my damp forehead.
We just lay there in silence for a while, trying to piece ourselves back together and my eyelids feel weighted by cement as my body starts to give in to how wrecked it is.
Harrys fingers trace slow circles around my skin as I curl up closer to him, feeling his chest rhythm start to become more even as he catches his breath finally.
"Abby..." he says quietly, sounding like he's deep in thought.
"Yeah baby?" I slur groggily, in that drunk space as you start to drift off.
"I have a feeling right now and...I think I know what it is, I've been reading and stuff, you know, with Google and that - I'm not completely sure, but..." he says slowly, sounding like he's concentrating on making sense of matching his heart with his head.
"What's is it?" I ask, fighting the exhaustion in my eyes as I try to take in what he's saying.
He pauses for a moment, but then sounds like he's in disbelief when he speaks next, his voice staying soft.
"I think I'm happy" he murmurs and my heart leaps into my throat, but he wonders his thoughts aloud again.
"You make me happy"
***
A/N:
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Also, if you ever wondered who writes this story, here you are.
Actually footage of me writing this.
Love ya guts