Sorry for the late update but I am a little preoccupied these days so the updates won't be frequent but don't worry, I will try to squeeze in an update at least once or twice a week.
Thank you for your patience and devotion towards this story.
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"No." His response was clipped, short and left no room for argument but that didn't stop me, I won't give up when I know what I was doing was not for my own welfare and safety but also his.
"But why?!" I had refrained myself from stomping my foot. His stubbornness wasn't justified at all.
"I don't want you getting hurt." He went back to the papers in his hands, avoiding my presence altogether, as if I was a ghost.
His nonchalant attitude infuriated me. Stalking towards him, I stood beside his chair. "I won't get hurt." I tried to assure him but him and I both know it was a lie, there was no guarantee I wouldn't get hurt.
Xerxes continued reading the paper in his hand, not giving me any heed. My brows narrowed a little at his ignorance. "Don't ignore me, I don't like it." I grumbled, I couldn't hide the hurt from my voice. I hate when he ignores me, in fact I hate when I am ignored.
This made him snap his head up at me, when he saw the frown on my face, he sighed letting on exasperated breath before placing the papers back on the table. His free hand grasped my wrist and pulled me towards his lap, making me straddle him.
I flushed a little at our intimate position. My mind instantly drifting to the night, a week before, his head between my legs as he pleasured me. The image still vivid and the emotions I felt that day still raw and unexplainable.
My eyes snapped on Xerxes when I felt his warm knuckles run over my cheek, softly and gently. My eyed drifted close and I leaned into his touch. So this is the mate's comfort.
"It was not my intention to sadden you." He whispered lowly, his tone soft. "But I still am not allowing you to fight." He wasn't budging.
Unable to contain my anger and irritation at his stubborn attitude, I swatted his hand away from my face and scowled at him. "I am not going to fight." I clarified, clearly noticing a scowl of his own not because of my words but because of my actions- when I swat his hand away. "I am learning to defend myself. I don't want to be completely useless and also, I stay here whole day, I need to do something." I tried to reason with him, letting him know what were my intentions behind learning to fight.
With my parents gone, back to their pack, I had no one to spend time with. Lisa, my only friend was no longer with me. Armenes, the only brother of Xerxes I talked to and was actually comfortable around still didn't return from the Gordon.
Xerxes hands gripped my hips lightly, his eyes staring at me deeply. "You're not useless." He frowned a little. "And I don't want you getting hurt, trainings can be extreme. You have never received any training so there's no guarantee you won't get hurt."
I wanted to scream in frustration, he wasn't trying to see my point at all but was stuck on what he wanted to believe. "I have to start someday and I can learn with Helen, she will be a great teacher." I tried again, giving him the best smile I could, trying to coax him into giving in. "Please, Xerxes."
His hand went behind the back of my neck and pulled my face forward, for a kiss. Midway, before our lips could meet, I asked, "Is that a yes?" I couldn't keep the happiness from my voice but instead of responding me, his lips met mine, and started to move, slowly and gently. My eyes fluttered close enjoying the kiss.
My hands rested on his chest and I kissed him back happily because he agreed to what I said. My hands encircled around his neck as his hand over my hip winded around my waist, pulling me flush against him.
Shyly, I opened my mouth, giving his tongue the liberty to explore mine when he bit down on my lower lip lightly. His kiss soon turned feverish, possessive and dominating.
Soon, I was pulling away pushing at his shoulder lightly and broke the kiss, panting heavily. My eyes met his when I reopened them and couldn't keep the smile away from my face.
When I calmed my heart and got my breathing back to normal, I queried. "Can I start right away?" I bit my lip trying to hide my smile, I was excited yet nervous at the same time. The only thought swirling in my mind was, I wouldn't be useless anymore nor do I have to hide behind someone anymore. I will be able to defend myself.
"What?" Xerxes blankly questioned.
My smile wavered a little at the flip in his tone and attitude. "The practice, training."
"I don't remember agreeing to any such thing." He dismissed my words, his hand holding onto my waist tightly while the other on my thigh as he twirled his chair a little, facing the desk.
He kept me on his lap and picked the papers up, his eyes going over the words imprinted on it.
My jaw dropped at his action and words. "Xerxes." I stared at him in disbelief. "But the kiss...you agreed..."
"Did I say, I will let you before the kiss, Meryl?"
He didn't but I assumed he did because he made a move to kiss me and I thought he was kissing me because he agreed and I kissed him because I thought he agreed with me.
"You don't play fair." I grumbled making a move to get off from his lap, pushing at his hand that held my waist.
"Stay put." His tone was hard yet his eyes were on the papers which angered me more. He wasn't considerate of me or my feelings, at all. All he thinks about was himself and what he believe was right.
I struggled more in his arms, trying to get off when I didn't succeed, I resorted to violence, hitting his chest with my fist which was laughable because he didn't even flinch, better yet blink his eyes.
Letting out a sound of frustration, I growled. "Let go." I stopped hitting him and tried to get his hand which was over my waist, to let go. He wasn't even budging, my strength was laughable and this was more than enough reason which fueled me to learn how to fight. I can't stay weak, forever.
Xerxes head tilted a little, his eyes studying me. "You're angry." He pointed out the obvious. "Angry at me, to be precise."
"Yes, I am." I looked away from his analyzing eyes and to his chest. His other hand which held the paper, let go of them and reached over my hair, tugging a strand behind my ear, the curtains that blocked him to look at my face clearly.
"Don't be mad." He whispered softly, his words and the way he said it- so softly, so gently, made my heart almost topple over and do what he said, almost. His thumb rubbed the skin under my eyes before his nose ran over my cheek, his touch feather like. "Don't be like this, Meryl. Look at me." His smooth voice cooed near my ear, his lips gracing my jaw as he spoke.
No matter how much he was effecting me, I couldn't give in to what he saying. I was doing this for a reason, a reason that benefits us all. I couldn't waver away. He needs to understand my reasons too and not be so caught up on his reasons.
Swallowing the lump that formed in my throat, I ignored what he said and continued looked at the wall, not meeting his eyes. "Let go. I don't want to near you, I wish to go to the library." I muttered, my voice wavered a little as I felt like crying in frustration.
"Meryl..." Xerxes searched for words to say but I shook my head.
"Please, I want to be alone." I whispered and this time when I tried to get off, he let me. Without looking at him, I get off from his lap and walked out of the room, leaving his gaze burning at my back all that time.
Once, I was in the library, I wiped away my tears harshly, my scowl taking over my face. I picked a random book and settled on the sofa where I usually sit and read.
"That cold hearted, meanie wolf." I huffed, still angry at him but instantly regretted what I said and reprimanded myself for saying such thing about someone else. "Sorry, Xerxes." I whispered feeling bad for calling him names. Even though he wasn't here, I felt the need to apologize because I didn't have it in me to face him anytime soon.
Two hours later, when I couldn't even concentrate on the book I was reading, I gave up. I picked a romance book about human love- unlike us they don't have mates, they have to search for their soul mate amongst billions of people, sad.
As per my wish, Xerxes bought hundreds of books for me, a week before- romance genre mostly, when I was bored with the books about werewolves. His library had no romance or adventures books.
With the book tightly clutched to my chest, I walked into our bedroom. I settled myself on the bed and checked the time, it was five in the late evening. I opened the cover of the appealing book and started reading, already getting into the book about the human world and life.
Amidst my reading, I wasn't aware when I fell asleep, drifting into an hour nap which was disturbed by someone, whose hand trailed on my cheek, softly.
My mind wasn't ready to face the world so I kept my eyes shut, scrunching my nose a little as I drew in a familiar scent. Knowing who it was, I pushed the hand away from my face and turned to the other side, mumbling a get away sleepily.
"Meryl." I could hear his exasperated tone, but didn't make a move to face him. "Come on, get up now." This time he spoke softly. "It's time for dinner." He leaned in close and placed a kiss below my ear.
"I am not hungry." I grumbled cracking my eyes open and squirming a little under his touch.
"Don't be like this." He tone was hard but his touch gentle as he turned me to face him. "Don't make me force you, Meryl because that's the last thing I want to do with you." The threat was evident in his voice, his eyes glaring at me. His cold behavior earning a whimper from me.
I pushed myself up on a sitting position and looked away from him, not wanting to look at him. I heard him released sigh before I felt his hand on mine.
"I am trying, Meryl." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion making me turn my gaze back at him. He wasn't looking at me but at our hands. His thumb rubbing circles on my wrist. "I am not familiar with this. This is all new to me, but I am trying because it's you." He molten dark brown eyes met mine, holding me captive.
"I never compromise with others. I don't negotiate and most importantly, I don't forgive but I always revoke my beliefs and rules when it comes to you." His hand caressed my cheek, lovingly. "Can't you at least try to understand my reasons too?" He asked, almost pleadingly.
My heart hammered in my ribcage with his confession. This was the most expressive Xerxes has ever been with me, he wasn't the type to describe his feelings and emotions with words and I had come to terms with that but seeing him opening his heart to me, made me feel a little giddy, my heart blooming with something, something I couldn't stop.
My hands cupped his face and daringly, I placed a lingering kiss on his tempting, sinful mouth. The kiss was short and brief but I tried to put my emotion into the kiss. "I do understand but you're not trying to do the same with me." I whispered, taking on a patient tone as I tried to make him see my point.
His brows furrowed a little at my words. "If this is about you being feeling useless then-"
"No." I cut him off, I didn't miss the slight raise of his brow at my daring move to cut him off but didn't comment anything. Another reason he was trying with me, no one dares to cut the Alpha King off when he's talking.
My brian mauled over his words, he was right but partly, that's one of the reasons but not the sole reason for me to learn how to fight. "I mean, yes that's partly a reason but that's not all." I said honestly.
"Then tell me your reasons, I will listen." His words made me grin so wide. He was truly trying with me and I couldn't ask for more from him, except this.
I withdrew my hands from his face and kept them over his thighs as he got on the bed to sit before me. Swallowing, the sudden lump that formed in my throat, my eyes stayed glued to my hands as I contemplated on what I was about to tell him.
Suddenly, I wasn't so certain about what I was going to tell him. What if he didn't believe me or better yet get angry at me? What if he choose to believe-
"Meryl." His warm hand held my chin, lifting my face to meet his eyes. "You can tell me anything." His words were enough to convince restored my trust in him, urging me to tell him everything.
"I don't feel so safe around..." I whispered, our eyes locked. " ...around your brothers." I finally said it. Except Armenes and Roman, I added in my head.
His jaw tensed at my sentence, I could tell his brain was reeling with my words and soon anger registered in his eyes.
I bit my lip worried what was going on in his head or if he even believe a word a said. When he didn't respond, I continued. " I want to be prepared and be able to defend myself if anyone tries to harm me when you're not around."
His eyes narrowed a little at my words and at what I was instigating. "Did they try anything when I was not around?" His voice was hard, his shoulders tensed.
Shaking my head in response, I spoke up. " They didn't but Zues...he told me he'll help get away from you and Nickolai knows about me, he even knows about my kidnapping...I don't feel safe living under one roof with them." My fears were out in the open, the things that bugged me and gnawed at me almost painfully with worry.
Xerxes was silent, his eyes staring coldly at me, his jaw tensed and so was his whole form. He doesn't believe me, when it dawn on me, I slowly retracted my hands away from his thighs, hurt.
"You don't believe me." I stated unable to keep the hurt I felt away from my voice. My eyes dropping to his chest. What did I expect? He will believe his brothers, whom he had knows for years over me any day. But I was hopeful he will at least try to understand me and where I was coming from to make such accusations on his brothers.
My words seemed to get him out of whatever trance he was in as he blinked once, his gaze shifting from cold to his normal ones when he gaze at me, warmly.
He brought my hands back on his thighs. "I never said that." He spoke gently.
When he saw the weary look on my face, he lifted me up by my waist effortlessly and placed me over his thighs, making me straddle him.
Pushing the hair away from my face, he asked, "Was anyone else in the room when Zues said that to you?" His question was unexpected but with Xerxes everything was unexpected and what revolves around his head was a mystery to everyone.
My head shook in response. "No one but I think Roman heard us because he came and told Zues off." I answered thinking back to that night. "I am very grateful to him and what he did." I smiled softly at the memory. Other than Armenes, Roman was the another brother of Xerxes I wasn't so uncomfortable with. His warm smiles and helpful attitude towards me, ease me up a little.
The tightening of Xerxes' hold on my waist didn't go unnoticed by me. "I don't like you talking about other male so fondly." He didn't bother to masked his jealousy if not he was displaying it rather openly and proudly.
"He's your brother." I managed to whisper out, his behavior making me curious and slightly amused.
"He's still a male." Came his response. A sense of deja vu hit me, he reacted the same way when he saw me with Armenes in the garden.
His tensed form leaned forward, his eyes brimming with jealousy, his possessiveness lurking behind them as he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply. My hands went over his shoulders and slowly I hugged him to me, my hands rubbing his back as a means to give him comfort.
I felt his shoulders relaxed and he slumped on me, but he kept his weight off of me. "Okay." He mumbled in my neck.
"Huh?" I pulled back a little. My eyes blinking at him in surprise. He allowed me to pull away completely and study his face.
"You can train and learn how to defend yourself." He stated, a full blown grin took over my face when his words registered in me.
I couldn't help the squeal that escape pass my lips, I was so happy. "...but I have two conditions." He wasn't done talking.
At this point of time, I wasn't really interested in what his conditions were as long as I get to train and learn to fight. "What is it?"
"First, you will start when I say so." He stated his first condition. My smile dropped and I frowned at his words. Was he playing with me?
"What if you never do tell me to start, am I suppose to wait forever?" My voice took a whiny tone, he was an infuriating man.
"I certainly won't do that. I am a man of my words, Meryl." He assured me. "And second, make sure not to get hurt."
"But that's not possible, I will get hurt, eventually." He was being impossible. Getting hurt while training was inevitable, Karl and dad used to come back home all bruised up, with broken bones and stuff but the quick healing of werewolves do magic.
"Then try not to get seriously injured." He, all but ordered me as if it was up to me to control what happens in the training. "Or else, no more training for you."
"You're being unreasonable." I narrowed my eyes at his condition. "You're doing this intentionally, aren't you? So that I wouldn't have to train like you wanted." I accused scowling at him.
"No, I am doing no such thing." He stated calmly. He wasn't bothered by how he was playing with my emotions, at all. "You can't heal like a normal wolf and I am only worried about you." He sighed resting his head on my shoulder.
What he said made sense. I can't heal as quick as normal wolves, in fact I heal at a snail's pace like humans. If I ended up fracturing any part of my body, say my pinky finger it will take weeks to properly heal.
So that means I can't train, at all because breaking a bone of two was as normal as breathing during the training. But I couldn't let this opportunity slip from my hands when I have almost grasp it.
"Okay, I agree with your conditions." I nodded my head at him. "I will let Helen help me with the training. I know her and is comfortable around her so I can request her to be gentle with me." I had everything planned out. No matter what Xerxes say, I will learn to fight.
He didn't say anything just hugged me tightly. "You worry me so much, love." He whispered in my neck.
My heart fluttered at the endearment, my cheeks tainting a light shade of pink as I recalled the day he first used that endearment with me- that night.
"When will you let me train?" I asked wanting to divert my mind away from the images of that night.
"Once my brothers go back to Gordon." He answered pulling away. Gently, he sat me down on the bed and got off from the bed. "Come, it's way pass dinner time." He reminded me offering me his hand. I placed my hand on his instantly and he helped me get off from the bed, my hunger making it's presence known in my stomach, thankfully it didn't make any sound.
As we made the way out of the room, his previous words made me question him. "When are your brothers going back? What about Armenes, he won't come back?" At the last question, I couldn't help but frown. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.
"Their work here is done so they will be going back soon, maybe in a day or two." He answered my first question, leaving me waiting for the second answer.
When he didn't, I asked again. "And Armenes?"
My question made him halt in his tracks and so did I. It happened so fast, one second I was staring at the side of his face waiting for an answer and the next he had me pinned to the wall as his lips met mine in a hungry kiss- possessive and angry. His intentions were clear through the kiss, he was not happy with me talking about other male who was not him.
Pulling back, I gasped for air as he trailed kisses down my neck and nibbled his mark on my neck. "He won't be coming back." He answered pulling away to face me. His eyes set on me in warning. "I may let it slide but my wolf is not so kind." His breath fanned my face, leaning in slowly to peck my lips.
When I heard approaching footsteps, I pushed at his chest to keep a distance between us but he didn't budge instead, he pressed more into me, leaving no space between us.
It was Zues and Roman.
My cheeks burnt under their gaze. Even though Xerxes and I were mates, it didn't comfort me one bit that we were in such a comprising situation.
I squirmed a little under him trying to make space between us but it was a futile attempt on my part.
A dark look crossed Roman's face when his eyes went from me to Xerxes, but it vanished so soon, that I doubted what I saw. His stare returned to blank and without any word walked into the dining room.
Xerxes then pulled away a little giving me the much needed space I need.
Zues remained behind, his eyes not once leaving Xerxes and vice versa. Were they having a mental conversation? Talking through mind link. I couldn't say for sure but the atmosphere shifted to tensed and suffocating.
"Oh! Alpha King." Lucy interrupted them with her presence. She then turned to Zues and paid her respect. "Prince Zues." I almost choked on my breath. Prince, she say and I recalled how I always addressed them with their names and used no title.
But I had no one to blame but Xerxes, he told me to address them with names and didn't fill in on how people address them. Now that I think back, I wasn't around them when there were other people so I never grasped how they were addressed by the pack members.
Nonetheless, they didn't seem to mind when I addressed them with their names, so I guess, I was safe and they were not offended by my blatant disrespect to not use titles when speaking to them.
Lucy walked into the dining room with plates which got Xerxes attention. Giving Zues on last look, he led me into the dining room, Roman areas seated to his usual place.
His shoulders were tensed as I took a seat next to his. I gave him a small smile but I didn't get back one and only a nod.
His behavior was odd but I brushed it off. Soon Zues walked in and took his place. An awkward silence blanketed the dining room as we ate on silence.
But my mind wasn't aware of the tension in the room as it reeled joyously about my training.
***
I am not sure if you guys noticed but the chapter longer than the previous chapters. Take it as an apology, pretty please.
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