Been Here All Along

By emilyann-

90.5K 3.3K 234

"Ian Miller was the light. He made everything better and everything easier. When I had to wake up at 7 in the... More

Disclaimers & Cast
00| prologue
01| home
02| enlistment
03| psychological pain
04| seclude
05| reconcile
06| first
07| army man
08| habitual
09| eins
10| worth
11| traumatic
12| woods
13| change
14| over
15| dreams
16| feelings
17| again
18| ajar
19| imagine
20| despacito
21| sanity
22| closer
23| kisses
24| secrets
25| sleepover
26| move-in
27| steps
29| essence
30| farewell
31| weight
32| forward
33| beautiful
34| growth
35| agony
36| lost
37| grieve
38| destiny
39| we
40| defense
41| endlessly
42| closure
43| teen
44| stunning
45| surviror
46| news
47| finale
48| epilogue

28| past

1.4K 53 1
By emilyann-

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard

"You ready?" I asked Ian as we stood by the door to our apartment to leave. I was getting some hardcore flashbacks to high school because of Ian's plain white t-shirt and a pair camouflage cargo pants, his signature JROTC get-up.

"I am," he grinned.

Earlier in the week, Ian arranged plans to meet up with his JROTC sergeant and lieutenant from high school. He's been looking forward to it since the arrangements were made, so I'm excited for him.

He insisted I come tag along since they are meeting at our old high school. They are running a training today and said Ian could come sit in and watch. His therapist thinks it'll be good for him to go back and experience from the outside what it is that drove him to join the army.

I, on the other hand, will be going around the school and talking to some of my old favorite teachers. I wasn't a total teacher's pet, but I did have a few favorites that adored me.

"It's going to be so weird being back at Adams." I have not gone back since I graduated; I never could bring myself to, it was just too hard. High school was a building of a reminder of Ian, who was away.

   "We had some good times there, though." Indeed we did.

In high school, our group was the group that everyone liked. We got along with everyone, unless someone wronged us. Even then, though, we didn't usually hold grudges; we simply just chose not to associate with the people any of us happened to have bumped heads with. Ian, Mason, Kaila, and I were a crowd of likable people. That does not mean we didn't know how to have fun.

We were the group that everyone wanted to hate, but just couldn't. We were too nice to everyone and too funny, honestly.

"Remember gym class senior year," I recalled. "Mr. Highland hated me."

Our group took gym as a blow-off class our senior year and truly treated it as just that. None of us would change our clothes for class, no matter what, and we literally never wore tennis shoes. Not to mention I literally got away with sleeping on the gym floor almost everyday.

Back when times were easier.

   "He learned to love us," Ian smiled.

   He'd probably argue it to this day, but we were definitely his favorite group of students to see everyday.

   "Are you excited to see your sergeant and lieutenant?" I asked him. I'm excited for him — he idolized these two men. They were role models to Ian, driving him to be a better man every single day.

   While his parents are amazing and helped raise me as well, I give a lot of credit to his sergeant and lieutenant. They were great at their job of making Ian into a man.

   Ian pulled into an empty visitor parking spot at our old high school, John Adams High School. It's weird not pulling my Jeep into a student spot, even after being graduated for four years. We went in through the main office to retrieve visitors passes and were recognized by the secretary almost immediately.

   "Wow," she gasped. She looked more shocked to see Ian than me, which isn't surprising. Word got around quick that Ian was going to war, and not everyone returns, hence the shock. Ian did, thank God.

   Literally, I thank God every night for letting my love come back to me.

   "Ian and Josie," she greeted after the shock of seeing Ian wore off.

   That's us — Ian and Josie. I swear I heard our names together like that in high school more than I heard them individually. We were just always together, best friends and boyfriend and girlfriend. We had it all.

   "How are you both? It's been so long."

   "Hi, Mrs. Judy," Ian grinned the grin that made all the teachers love him back in the day. I've never met someone more of a people person than Ian Miller. "We are both doing really good." We are. You could even say we are on top of the world lately.

   "Are you two still...together?" Mrs. Judy was hesitant to ask because it could be awkward if we weren't, but we are so it's not.

   "We are," I nodded. I didn't find it necessary to explain our four year break while he was away. All that matters is that we are together now and doing great.

   "I'm happy for you both! Well," she wrote out our visitor passes. "Have a great day! Definitely don't wait another four years to come back and visit!"

   We wished Mrs. Judy a good day before heading into the hallways that we spent four years in. It's where, not only, our friendship grew, but our relationship developed. We shared so many discrete kisses in these hallways, even though I hate PDA.

   "Want to come to JROTC with me to say hi first?"

   I nodded, glad he asked.

   I've met his instructors before several times, and I wanted to see them.

   Ian led the way to the back of the school and out the doors where the current JROTC students were training in the schoolyard.

   Some of the kids broke their hard stare forward to look in our direction at the sound of the door closing behind us.

   Ian smirked and shook his head. "Big mistake to look over here. Sarge is gonna tear them apart for getting distracted."

   Sure enough, Sergeant Nichols yelled out in his authoritative tone to pay attention. He, then, called them to stand down and take a break, or something along those lines. The group dispersed and went to get water while Sarge and Lieutenant Marlow met Ian and I halfway across the schoolyard.

   "Cadet Miller," Sarge greeted.

   Ian smirked as he stopped in place and held his hand to his forehead to salute his former Sergeant.

   "Come on," Lieutenant Marlow hit Sarge lightly on his shoulder. "He's a reserve soldier now, Nichols."

   It's crazy to think that only five years ago, he was one of those students. He was simply a cadet in JROTC. Now he has four years of being in the army under his belt, and he could be sent back at any given moment of time.

   I was shocked when the two alpha males that are total hard-asses actually hugged Ian. As girly as this sounds, it was touching to see how much they care about Ian.

    "It's good to have you back, Miller." Lieutenant Marlow said. The thickness of his words proved to have a deeper meaning behind them. His sincere tone of voice made it clear that he meant he is glad that Ian survived his active duty.

   Though he is training all of these kids to potentially head into the army one day, I imagine it's still scary for him to actually watch them get deployed, like Ian. There really is no way to tell what will happen once they leave.

   "You guys remember my girlfriend, Josie Pappstein?"

   "An unforgettable name and face," Sarge smiled, reaching out to hug me. They are much softer than I remember; maybe to graduates they are nicer to, and they are naturally colder to cadets. "How are you?"

   "On top of the world, these days," I chuckled, grinning at Ian. He didn't even try to bite back the smile that overtook his face. "How are you? How's the program?"

   "We're doing great, so is the program. Some of the kids this year are rather air-heady, though."

   "Oh, come on, Lieutenant, I was the biggest airhead of them all, and I turned out alright."

   "He's not wrong," Sarge chuckled.

   Ian was a strange case. He was incredibly dedicated and focused when it came to JROTC, yet his progress reports weren't always the best because he'd get distracted. How can he be focused and distracted at the same time? I don't know, but he was. The progress reports would basically say he never seemed to be listening, but he was the only one that ever knew what was going on.

   "Ian, want to meet the crew?"

   "Hell yeah," he smirked.

   All yesterday, Ian talked nonstop about how excited he is going to pretend to be a total hard-ass in front of all of the cadets just to scare them before revealing how laidback and chill he actually is.

   It's so hard for me to imagine that, one day, Ian will be in an instructing position like Nichols or Marlow, where he has to play tough-guy constantly. I have always primarily known the side of Ian that is laidback, calm, and understanding. I hardly ever see the side of him that is tough and scrupulous like his JROTC instructors, yet I know it exists because how else would he be where he is today.

   "I'm going to go say hi to some old teachers, okay?" I informed Ian, taking his hand in mine for a brief second to give it a squeeze.

   "Okay, I love you."

   "I love you, too." In order to help Ian keep his hard-ass facade up in front of the students, I mouthed to him he didn't have to kiss me, which made him chuckle.

   But he still pecked my lips quickly, anyway.

   I bid goodbyes to Lieutenant Marlow and Sergeant Nichols before making my way back towards the building. However, when I was far enough away for Ian to not notice my presence, but still close enough to see, I turned back around to watch Ian interact with his crowd.

   Ian stood in front of the students with his hand to his forehead for a salute, the crowd mirroring him.

   It looked purely natural. This is the life he is meant to live when he retires from the army.

   I continued walking back to the school and navigated my way through the building to find the classrooms to my favorite teachers in high school. Of course I started off with my all-time favorite teacher to this day, Mr. Haxer.

   I knocked on his classroom during before opening it. He was sitting at his desk while his class of high school students were sitting quietly and working.

"Josie Pappstein, no way." Mr. Haxer was clearly surprised to see me. I decided I'd rather surprise him then organize a meeting time.

Mr. Haxer got his job at Adams High when I was a sophomore. He was 23 at the time, fresh out of college, and was offered a long-term subbing position for my English teacher while she was on maternity leave. He was then offered a full time position as a history teacher the following year, my junior year, and I had him again. Senior year, I took two of his history electives just to have him as a teacher.

   "I haven't seen you in about four years," he pointed out.

   Like I said, word got around fast that Ian left to join the army right after graduation, and it doesn't take a genius to figure coming back here would be like a waterfall of memories of Ian. No ones really questioned my distance.

   "I know, it's been crazy."

   I pulled an empty chair up to Mr. Haxer's desk and sat across from him.

   Just like the old days. Everyday in our pop culture class, Kaila and I would pull our chairs up to his desk and have random conversations; sometimes about what we learned in class that day and sometimes about nothing even remotely history related.

   "I hear Ian Miller is back home..." Mr. Haxer trailed off, unsure if that was something he could bring up or not.

   People walked on those rocks around me for four years, and I'm so glad that no one does anymore. That just reminded me of how much it didn't help me move on.

   "Yeah," I nodded. "We are together, actually. He's at the JROTC training right now."

   Mr. Haxer smiled softly. "I'm glad you guys found your way back to each other. I was always rooting for you guys, but who wasn't?"

   "I'm glad too," I agreed.

   "How's school going?"

   "Almost done," I sighed. "I get my degree in psychology in May."

   "That's what you decided on? That's awesome!"

   "I'm really looking forward to starting my life for real." With Ian Miller by my side. That's a huge plus; a dream come true, if you will.

   Having Ian back and seeing how he handles his PTSD and what he goes through before and after his therapy sessions honestly makes me all the more glad I chose psychology as my major. It's so interesting to me to know the way the human mind works; all of the kinks to it and everything.

   After catching up with Mr. Haxer, I visited my other old teachers while I waited for Ian to text me to tell me he's basically ready to go. We met outside the gym, where Mr. Highland obviously would be, before going in to see him together.

   Ian jogged up behind Mr. Highland as he was talking to some students and said, "Can we play dodgeball?"

   Everyday in gym last year, no matter what, our group would ask him if we can play dodgeball. He would get so annoyed everyday, asking if we wanted to play any other sports. We never wanted to though.

   At first, his mouth fell agape, then he smiled for a split second, before he ended his series of emotions with a groan.

   "I thought I got rid of you two four years ago."

   His facade was proven to be temporary when he initiated a group hug.

   The proof may be four years late, but I always knew we were some of his all-time favorite students.

~•~

Good afternoon!
I hope you all had a good day :)
My day was a little odd - I literally passed out unconscious in my first class this morning and missed the entire class period. I've been exhausted ALL day.

I don't have much to say, so that's all!!

Don't forget to...
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- emily
B.E. Everyday

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