I don't know what to do anymore
I want to give up, my life is a chore
All I want is to get out of my own head
How can I do that when I can't get out of bed
I'm carrying around this weight in my chest
But I still feel hollow with every manual breath
I don't know how I could possibly explain
That the words "I'm tired" hold a different pain
My isolation seems like the only option
When broken hearts lead into caution
How have I made it through all this abuse
Yet hurt myself and tie the noose
I want to close my eyes and take a break
And I hope to god that I'd never wake
I can't be the only one who feels this way
It only gets worse with every passing day
I feel like I've gone completely insane
Trapped in a prison inside my own brain
Though I know I'm bound to I feel the sting
I still get caught up in a meaningless fling
I wish someone would see my torment
Or maybe even think I'm important
But the price I pay hiding behind a smile
Is a head full of thoughts all nasty and vile
Every time I reach out for assistance
I'm met with the same ignorant resistance
All I want is for someone to care
To help when the pain is too much to bear
I don't know why my cries are always silent
When on the inside it's nothing but violent
What do I have to do to make it stop
When I'm so anxious my stomach drops
I can feel it radiate through my skin
And I know this isn't a fight I will win
I don't know how much more I can take
I'm worried that soon my strength will break
I don't even know how I'm still here
While every waking second is riddled with fear
I swear I think I'm going crazy
How do I describe what I feel daily
If only this sickness were something visible
Maybe my head wouldn't be so cynical
I just want someone to hold my hand
To stick by me when things go unplanned
How could I seem so disposable
Maybe because I'm over emotional
No one wants to put up with my feelings
Back and forth, they're always reeling
I want someone to know me for me
To help heal this wound that has no bleed
Why am I simply too much to handle
Every relationship is a failing gamble
By now I should know from the start
To take great care when giving my heart
I never learn and I feel so dumb
Every time someone leaves me numb
I just want to get out of this mess
But I've never really had any success
How do I get someone to listen
Before fake guns fire real ammunition
-K.W.B.