I felt someone letting me down on a soft surface, my eyes blinking open to look around my surrounding.
"Xerxes..." I mumbled sleepily before turning around. I tried to hold onto him and ended up gripping the front of his shirt.
He pushed the strands of hair away from my face and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I need to take care of some things." His lips moved over my skin before they trailed down and pecked my nose then met my lips. He kissed me softly and gently making my grip over his shirt more tight as i pulled him to me.
Pulling away, he mumbled over my lips. "Take rest, i will be back soon." He placed one last kiss on my lips before pulling away completely making me pout slightly.
His thumb graced over my lips, soothing it with a soft look on his face. "I won't take long." He promised and i nodded my head as much as i could from my sleeping position.
He got off from the bed and walked out, but not before giving me a glance over his back. After he walked out, i turner away from the door and closed my eyes, sleep instantly coming to me.
"Lisa..." i jerked awake with a start, my heart beating wildly against my chest. Keeping a hand over my chest, i rubbed it softly as a means to calm my heart.
With the back of my hand, i wiped my forehead. I realised i was sweating.
The dream felt too real, Lisa was still alive and with me, like old times. We were having a good time like we used to.
That's when i felt something wet drip down my cheeks. My hand wiped away the tears that fell down but no matter what my brain was saying, my heart ached for Lisa who was once my friend, a sister to me.
Biting my lip, i pushed my face into the pillow and wept for my friend who was no longer alive. No matter what she did, I can never wish death of her or anyone.
I clutched the shirt over my chest and cried for Lisa, for our friendship and for the days she had ahead of her if she didn't decide to do what she did.
She had a mate, so why would she kill herself? It didn't make sense, or was it for him too?
I was reminded of the times i spent with Lisa, she was so good to me, took great care of me and was always there when i needed her. No matter what she had on mind for her actions, it was all real to me and it hurts, so much.
I didn't know for how long i cried, but sleep soon took over my entire senses and succumbed to my desire to get lost in the oblivion.
By the time, i opened my eyes, the clock showed three in the late afternoon. My throat felt dry and i rubbed my eyes to get rid of the sleep only to pull my hand back and it stung.
Rushing to the washroom, i looked at myself in the mirror and sighed, my eyes were red and puffy. Washing my face with cold water, i patted my face dry with the towel before heading out of the bathroom.
Stretching my arms over my head, i slowly made my way out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen.
Grabbing a bottle of water for the fridge, i poured the water in the glass, filling it to the brim before gulping it down in one breath. Exhaling loudly, i washed the glass and left it by the sink to dry while i kept the bottle back in the fridge.
Closing the door of the fridge, i turned only to jump back in fright when i realised I wasn't alone in the kitchen.
"I am sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." Nickolai apologized. He had an empty pitcher in his hand, and looking at his unruly hair and plain clothes- wrinkled dress shirt and cotton pants, it looked like he just woke up from a nap.
I held my heart trying to calm myself. He didn't even make a sound when he entered the kitchen and it irked me for some reason.
"Can't you at least make a sound while entering?" My voice was soft but tone snappy. After everything that had happened today, I wasn't in my best of moods.
Nickolai arched a brow my way when he heard me, a surprise look crossing his features before he apologized again. "Sorry."
I swallowed hard, looking away from him, my mind messed up with everything i learnt about myself today. I was once again, reminded of what Nickolai told me a few days days, by the stairs. Did he know? Was he already aware of who i was? Who was he...?
"Or perhaps you should be more aware of your surrounding." My head snapped towards his way when i heard him talk.
He had his head tilted, looking at me with some foreign expression on his face, as if studying me.
His words irked me more, and somehow his presence too. I was uncomfortable and it looked like he noticed that but didn't comment anything on that.
Not wanting to be around him anymore, i held myself and started walking, maintaining a good distance between us as i walked passed him.
"What are you going to do?"
My legs halted in their tracks when i heard him ask, his tone sending a chill down my spine. I didn't turn to look at him. "What do you mean by that?" i kept my voice strong and maintained a calm demeanor.
"Now that you know who you are, what are you going to do?" He asked, his tone taunting.
His question made me turn around and face him. How did he know?
Before i could say anything, he cut me off, "Are you going to hide behind Xerxes and bawl your eyes out when you lose someone close to you, someone you love?"
His words were mocking me, his eyes laughing at me, staring down at me as it i was nothing.
"Are you even fit to be a Luna?" He asserted with me his cold eyes, studying me from head to toe and shaking his head.
His words stung, hitting right on my insecurities and weakness, but i didn't let it show on my face. He was right, was i going to hide behind Xerxes forever and do nothing? Was i worth that much? Was i even fit to be a Luna when i can't even protect my loved ones?
No, i shouldn't and wouldn't cower away anymore. I have to protect what i held dear and for that, first i need to be strong and stand up for myself. I can't or allow anyone to push me around just because i can't shift or was strong physically like them. I was a Luna, the mate of an Alpha King, i need to be able to live by the title given to me.
"Don't cross your line, Nickolai." I managed to utter out, my hands in a fist.
The surprise was evident in his face, but he was quick to mask it. "What are you going to do, Luna?"
"I know who you are." I met his stare, holding it to show him how serious i was.
"Who am i?" He queried, placing the empty pitcher on the counter top.
I had my doubts on Nickolai since day one, he knew too much, too many secrets that he shouldn't. How was he able to know all that? Who can tell him that? How did he know who i was? Now that i think this through, it all makes sense.
"You're Lisa's mate, the one who is trying to overthrow Xerxes's rule." I put the words out loud and clear for him.
A deafening silence stretched between us, his face blank as he stared at me deeply and i held his stare.
Suddenly, the kitchen filled with his laughter, he threw his head back and let out a loud laugh as if he found my words amusing.
A glare took over my face but doubt gripped in me. Was I wrong?
"Oh Luna..." He tsk once he sobered up, his eyes gleaming with something dark but a smile was playing on his lips. "You're so clueless." He took a step towards me, then another.
I held my ground and glared at him. "You can't deny the truth of my words."
"When did i deny your accusations?" A sadistic smile took over his face, as he took his third step towards me.
His words made my blood run cold with anger but fear also settled in when i realised we were probably the only ones in the house at the moment. Instinctively, i took a step back while he continued making his way towards me.
This continued until my back hit the fridge, and before i could turn away and make an escape, he gripped my wrist pulling me back to my previous position.
Fear gnawed in me but i didn't let him have the satisfaction to see me cower under his gaze. I maintained my expression and kept glaring at him.
Nickolai gripped my shoulders tightly, pushing me back with force as his fingers dug into my skin making me make a sound of surprise and pain. His other hand went around my neck, his eyes following the movements of his hand.
"Xerxes will kill you if he kno-"
"Shh..." Nickolai placed his forefinger over my lips shushing me before gripping my cheeks, squishing my face, a dark look in his eyes as a sardonic smile took over his face.
"Look at you, so vulnerable...defenseless." He whispered close to my ear. My heart was hammering against my chest, as i was certain he could hear it.
Pulling his face back, his hand gripping my face loosened before they trailed down to settle over my neck, giving it a light squeeze.
I tried to break away from his hold but his hold over my neck tighten, making me grow stiff.
"All it takes is just a snap and...you're dead." He said slowly, his voice a mere whisper as he squeezed my neck again. I gasped when his hand tighten over my throat but he loosened it once again. He was playing with me.
"Then kill me." I whispered, my voice harsh. "You kidnapped me four years ago-"
"I didn't." Nickolai didn't let me finish. His hold over my neck disappeared and he took a step back, giving me the much needed space.
I walked out of his hold and kept a good distance between us, my hands rubbing my skin on the neck where he squeezed, my eyes narrowed on him, assessing his every move.
My first instinct was to run out of the kitchen and away from him, but what he said few seconds ago didn't let me. There was a gnawing feeling inside of me urging me to listen to him and if i didn't ask him upfront what he really knew about this whole situation, i wouldn't get another chance.
Be careful. Vivi warned me.
He could have killed me when he had the chance but he didn't and he deny what i accused him of. Was he telling the truth or was this one of his many tricks? I won't find out if i never ask.
Swallowing my fear, i squared my shoulders and kept my eyes on him. "What do you mean you didn't?"
Nickolai held my gaze. "I mean exactly that."
His vague answers were playing my emotions and my already jumbled up thoughts. He was Lisa's mate, wasn't he?
"How can you be so calm when you just lost your mate?" I asked bitterly, my eyes glaring daggers at him. If he indeed was Lisa's mate, she didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve anything that happened to her.
Nickolai let out a dry chuckle, void of emotion. He took a step towards him, his eyes set on me, this time i was ready. I knew Xerxes always keep the house guarded, so if he tried anything suspicious i could always scream for help.
"Am i?" He taunted, trailing his forefinger over the side of my cheek before making a sliding motion over my neck, daring me to answer him.
"I am not scared of you." I whispered, sounding confident.
Hearing my words, his eyes snapped up to make contact with mine which was previously on my neck, staring intently at my mark.
A pleasing look crossed his features as if he was content with my answer, before he retracted his hand and turned away from me to grab the empty pitcher.
"That's good to hear."
He walked over to the fridge and opened it. He filled his pitcher with two bottles before closing the door of the fridge, ignoring my presence altogether.
Something snapped in, perhaps his nonchalant attitude towards me when i felt like I was on the brink of losing my sanity with all the questions unanswered, or maybe because i was going crazy being paranoid about the main culprit, who wanted to hurt me and Xerxes.
"I want you to answer me, you made Lisa kill herself, didn't you? You were behind my kidnapping four years ago. You're planning to overthrow Xerxes's rule, you want to kill him. i know it's you!" I was panting by the time i finished.
Nickolai titled his head and just stared. "Do you feel better now?" He queried. "You have kept your emotions bottled up for far too long, didn't you?"
My glare intensified, was he mocking me now? But he was right in a way, saying what i really wanted to out loud made me feel a little better, like a weight was lifted off of me but there were still more weights.
When i didn't say anything, he walked pass me but halted when he was side by side with me. "Let me tell you one thing Luna..." His tone was soft almost sympathetic. When i turned to look at him, he continued. "You're barking up the wrong tree."
My eyes narrowed on his and at what he said. There was lucid genuineness in his eyes making me waver for a second. "If not you then who?" I dared to ask, challenging him.
"That's what we are all trying to find out, aren't we?" He smiled a little at me, breaking my resolve. "Be cautious of the people around you, trust no one." He advised before walking out of the kitchen leaving me alone with my tormenting thoughts.
If not him then who was behind all this? I was left more confused and my thoughts more messed up.
Sluggishly, i made my way back to the room and climbed the bed, staring blankly at the wall. I wasn't aware for how long i stayed in that same position, staring at nothing in particular, deep in thought but broke out of my trance when i heard the door open.
My back went rigid instantly but relax when i got a familiar whiff of scent. It was Xerxes. Slowly, i turned around to face him, getting into a sitting position.
"You're awake." He muttered, closing the distance between us as he sat beside me on the bed. He ran a hand over my hair, soothing the strand of hair that was poking in a weird direction.
"Will Lisa have a burial?" I asked the question that was bothering me for a while. Usually, those who betray their pack never gets a burial, they were either burnt or thrown into the woods for the wild animals to feed on.
Xerxes didn't answer, and he didn't have to, i already knew the answer. Looking down at my hands, i asked. "Will she be burned?"
"No." His answer was monotonous. I swallowed hard when i understood what they did or was planning to do with her body. It was something i could never fight with Xerxes. No matter how much i wish it to be a lie, Lisa had indeed betrayed the pack and was a traitor.
"We have already taken care of that, don't worry yourself with such thoughts." Xerxes held the back of my head and brought my face to his chest, hugging me, giving me the comfort that i needed at the moment. I silently cried holding onto him tightly and he let me, providing me the shoulder to cry on.
When my sobs quieten down, i pulled away from him and wiped my eyes with my palms.
"I can't shift..." I started to say. Doubts and insecurities infiltrating into my mind.
Even though, i wish to be strong and stand beside him, i couldn't deny the fact that i wasn't strong both physically and mentally. I can't fight, i can't even defend myself. He will always have to be on a lookout for me and it will only bring him down.
"I know." Xerxes made me look at him, gripping my chin lightly.
I bit my lower lip when it started to quiver. "What if i bring you down? I am not strong like the other wolves. I can hardly feel my wolf, what if i really am not fit to be your ma-"
Shhhh..." Xerxes didn't let me finish and cupped my face. Self doubt started to settle in me as i questioned my strength and the huge responsibility that i felt like was handed over to me.
"Don't ever doubt yourself, you're the Luna of our pack." He said softly, his voice low and soothing to my ears. "You're the strongest woman i have ever known, not physically but mentally, emotionally and that's all i need from you. You don't have to be strong, i will be, for us."
A sob escaped pass my lips when i heard his promise filled words. "Don't cry, Meryl." He whispered, wiping away my tears. "I have lived for far too many years that i lost everything and everyone i held close to me, left with only my pack to protect but now, i have you. I have got another reason to live and even if i die protecting you, i would be happy. Happy that i lived long enough to have met you in this lifetime." He sealed his words with a kiss not giving me a chance to respond to him or even react.
I held onto his arm and kissed him back, losing into his feverish kiss, urgent and full of need. He pushed me down, my back hitting the mattress softly as he hovered over me, not once breaking the kiss.
His hand trailed down my neck to my arms, before gripping my hips. I pulled away from the kiss to breath, my head turning to the side as Xerxes' lips assaulted my neck, sucking on his mark.
His hand over my hips, trailed down and gripped my thigh, lifting it in one swift motion and planting it over his waist. A loud gasped escaped pass my lips when i felt something poking on my belly.
"Xerxes." His name escaped as a moan from my lips, my need for his touch heightening even when he was already touching me.
His lips trailed kisses up my neck and whispered in my ear, his voice thick with lust. "Your smell in enticing."
There was a burning ache in my belly, and my body felt hot. My hands gripped his shoulders as i tried to move under him, to ease myself of the ache that was building up inside of my belly.
His hand went over my stomach, holding me down and restricting me from moving. I groaned trying to push his hands away.
"I don't want to hurt you." His voice was a mere whisper, his jaw tense. His eyes were glowing which returned to it's normal shade when he closed and reopened his eyes.
My movements stopped and i just stared at him. "You won't." For some reason, i trusted him.
He closed his eyes and shake his head before burying his face into the valley of my breast. "I don't think you're ready for me, yet." His voice was strained, his one hand rubbing my side, the other on my shoulder.
When his words sunk in, i realised what he was talking about. He was right, i wasn't ready yet but he had already lit the match and the fire was already spread.
His need still evident as it poke my thigh making me flush all of a sudden. I shifted a little beneath him, which only caused me to gasp as a weird sensation course through me as unintentionally, i ended up grinding myself on him.
His head snapped up and his eyes met mine when i let out a moan, my body blazing with fire once again.
I bit my lip trying to control my hormones that was all over the place due to his closeness and obvious need.
I flushed under his gaze, my eyes going to his chest. "I..." I don't even know what i wanted to say or need from him.
Cocking his head to the side, he kissed my mark before kissing me on my lips, slowly and leisurely. "You want me." He mumbled over my lips, his tone all knowing.
"Yes..." I managed to whisper out, my eyes set on mine as i watched his eyes widen a little at my confession. His lips hovered over my ear and he whispered.
"Let me take care of you."
***
Don't be angry! I need to end the chapter, here. Keep your fist in place and let me explain, i didn't mark this story as Mature so if i put up any chapters with them doing the dirty and the hanky panky, wattpad will mark this story as mature and hence, the story will be shown to some limited readers because of age restrictions.
Buuuutttttttt... You all know what's going to happen in the next chapter!
I will prolly make the next chapter private because i don't want this story to get marked as mature.
Most of you know how to read the private chapters but if some of you don't know then, you just have to do these three simple steps-
-Remove this story from your library.
- Follow me (if you guys are not)
- Add my book to the library again and read.
You can unfollow me later on. If possible i will put up an A/n when i update the next chapter along with the steps so fret not.
Anyhoo, moving on-
Nickolai, is he lying or is he really not the one we are all looking for?
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