He dreamed again.
Only this time, it wasn't just his mom, or the ghost of his dad talking to him in low whispers. His mom wasn't touching him, or caressing his cheek.
They were there, standing. But, they were abstract.
It was weird, if nothing else.
The only things he was sure that actually existed, were the woods. And the sky above him.
It had been ages since he allowed himself to gaze at the endless blue. He longed to, but didn't.
Somehow, George was there, too. It was weird, because he was riding Gemma's scooter.
Everything was so strange, and yet, it made complete sense to him.
The fast raps on the door woke Zayn from his sleep. He groaned and picked up the phone from the night table.
It wasn't his phone, but he needed to check the time.
It was only 6 a.m, he blinked, narrowing his eyes at the door from where the knocks weren't stopping.
"Shut up..." He groaned again, and pushed away his duvet. He rolled over and rubbed his eyes, not feeling like getting up yet.
His dream was shredding away as his surroundings differed from that of his dream, and it wasn't long before he forgot everything.
He looked over at Lucas, who was completely enshrouded in the blanket, and let out an exasperated sigh, that resembled terribly like a whimper.
Yawning, he finally sat up, stretching his limbs. The floor was eerily cold today, his feet immediately wanted the comfort of his duvet.
Another knock came, louder than the previous ones, and he walked to the door and unlocked it before anyone could knock it off it's hinges completely.
George stood in the doorway, smiling at Zayn when the door stood ajar.
"Good morning, lad." He chirped. "I'm here to wake you up."
Zayn rubbed his palm over his face and breathed deeply, "Really? I thought I'm still in bed."
"You aren't audible, dear."
"I said," Zayn leaned onto the door frame. "I said nothing." He cleared his throat, his voice was groggy. George seemed like he had had an energy drink first thing is the morning.
Whereas, Zayn felt drained, even after a good amount of sleep.
He wanted to look more presentable, and less lost, for a change. It seemed like every time George saw him, he was either tired, or sleeping, or simply wanted to slump wherever he could.
"Well, I'll go and wake the other blokes." said George. "Don't go back to sleep, and wake up the other lad snoring there.." He nudged, looking past his shoulder.
Zayn looked over his shoulder too, and chuckled lightly. "I'll wake him up." He said, gripping the doorknob.
"Okay, then." said George and turned away.
Zayn closed the door behind him, leaning against it for some time. He closed his eyes, listening to the faint singing of the morning birds.
A lot had changed in the past week.
So many things.
He hadn't acknowledged any one of them. And it was on purpose. It was too much, for anyone, not just him.
It was good to let things be, and not let it sink in as yet. He had met new people, it was time he caught up to new things rather than wasting time acknowledging what he left behind.
Truth be told, if he did, he didn't know if he'd accept it.
He had broken so many promises, so many hopes.
He was selfish, he knew that from the start. But not to this extent. He never thought he'd do such thing, even when he'd dreamed about it almost every single day. It was all still a dream, to be here, finally.
And he almost always wondered when he'd wake up, and the reality will fall into place.
He hadn't, until now.
So maybe this was real, after all?
He was here, in Ravenford. He was here and he was free, maybe.
He opened his eyes, and detached himself from the door. Walking across Lucas' bed, he reached the curtains and drew them open, closing his eyes as a reflex.
But there was no need. There wasn't any sun to shine in your eyes. Instead, everything was grey and the window was dressed in fog.
Zayn ran his hand over the cold window glass, which smudged at his touch. The fog melting away as he drew something over it.
I'm free, right? He wrote. He stared at it for some time, then swept his hand over it, erasing it entirely.
He unlatched the window, and opened it. He had some difficulty opening it wider, but after fixing the hinge a little bit, it did.
Zayn leaned, pressing his palms on the cold window sill.
Everything was so still. The trees didn't dance, the air didn't accentuate the rosiness of his cheeks.
It had rained in the night, he could tell.
With the realisation, his bare feet felt colder on the surface and he turned back to sit on the window sill. The moment he did, he caught Lucas' eyes peering at him, that peeped out from his blanket along with his head.
"Are you mental?" whispered Lucas, his voice was raspy and his messy brown hair fell on his forehead more than usual. "Close the window, will you? I don't want to die." He pulled the duvet over his head again.
"Can you get me my jumper? I slept without it." Although he was barely audible behind the sheets, Zayn heard the strained plea in his voice.
He nodded, though he knew Lucas couldn't see and closed the window, deciding not to latch it. "I can assure you'll not die, at least."
"Yeah, right. If I had brains about not sleeping in just my shirt last night, and didn't freeze to death already, I'd agree with you."
Zayn shook his head and went inside the closet. There, he exchanged his last night's comforter with a grey hoodie. He liked it very much, his dad had brought it for him.
"If you were feeling cold last night why didn't you get up and wear it?" He asked, throwing the jumper towards Lucas' bed once he was in the dorm again.
Lucas poked his head out again. "Oh, my lovely jumper." He sang, and stretched his arm out to slide it inside his duvet. Then, he slowly sat up, still not coming out of his confines.
Zayn crossed his arms, and watched him with an amused smile.
Under his duvet, Lucas struggled to wiggle inside his jumper.
Zayn chuckled, and shook his head at him. He went towards his bed, and pulled the covers away entirely, exposing Lucas to the cold air.
"Zayn!" shrieked Lucas, "What are you doing?"
"Wear it quickly." commanded Zayn, gesturing at the jumper that was halfway down his head. "Don't be a drama queen."
Lucas squinted his eyes, "You're evil." He said. Muttering fast curses under his breath, he wore his jumper and settled his hair that were somewhat presentable. "Happy?"
"It's not that cold."
"Say it for thyself."
...
Zayn sat on his bed, after he was done folding his duvet and making the bed sheet appear less tangled.
He had brushed his teeth and washed his face, while Lucas was still inside the closet.
He stared out of the window again. The glass he had erased the fog from was starting to regain it on the edges.
"It's so early." reflected Zayn, when he heard Lucas shut the closet door.
"Yeah, but don't you have to do breakfast?" asked Lucas, sitting on his bed facing Zayn. "Are you going to miss it today as well?"
"On the contrary, I'm famished." He said after some thought. "I didn't have dinner yesterday."
Lucas' eyes widened. "You didn't?" He asked confusedly.
"I—" Zayn exhaled lowly. "I forgot, I guess..."
"What?" blurted Lucas, puzzled. Then as if coming to conclusion he flung his arms in the air. "You know what? Makes perfect sense. Don't explain."
Zayn flustered, and bit his tongue.
"Are you not kidding?" asked Lucas after a while.
Zayn only nodded feebly, untangling his shoelaces. He should have done it last night, now he was struggling.
"When you came back, I thought you came back from the Mess." Lucas looked at Zayn with an irritated glance, like the information troubled him. "Its dinner time. Eight to nine, if you don't know. What were you doing that time then?"
Zayn thought for a while, debating if he should tell him. "I don't think the answer is relevant to you." He said at last, pushing his feet in the shoes.
Lucas arched his eyebrows. "True." He said shortly. "Well, come on, now. We should get going."
¢¢¢¢
The Mess had the morning sleepiness about it. Most of the students had already eaten, and were getting up to dispose their dishes, walking out of the large Mess door in their sweat pants and morning sweaters.
Upon entering, the incessant chatter, exhausted dragging of the chairs made Zayn feel a lot more tired himself.
Lucas beckoned him towards the buffet counter, where the queue stood, waiting for their turn. Every student was restless, and were talking to the person behind or front of them in the queue in low murmurs.
Lucas stood in front of Zayn, passing him the dish and a spoon from where he had been standing before the counter.
Zayn scanned the long queue, and huffed impatiently.
Lucas looked over his shoulder, "There's cereal, and milk. Bread and also jam if you like. You could also eat scrambled eggs." He informed Zayn.
"I'll eat whatever." said Zayn quietly.
Lucas seemed to have heard it, because he smirked, and looked forward after that.
...
Zayn didn't like the table Lucas had chosen to sit on, but he didn't complain. The table was fairly empty of students, and he couldn't be happier about the less amount of chatting he would hear at this hour of the morning.
He had settled on a toast, and scrambled eggs, while Lucas was happily gorging down his cereal.
After some time, something buzzed and Lucas took out his phone. He stared at the screen for some time, then impatiently pocketed it, muttering something under his breath.
By the time the phone buzzed for the third time, while Lucas deliberately ignored it, Zayn was finished with his eggs and was almost done with the toast.
His brow pulled up when the phone buzzed for the fourth time, and he picked on the morsels with the fork. Carefully, he lifted his eyes at Lucas.
His frown deepened when he saw his dull face, and the way Lucas was biting the inside of his cheeks, his cereal seemingly forgotten.
"What's the matter?" He asked cautiously, knowing Lucas might not answer.
Lucas looked at him, "It's mom." He whispered dismissively.
"Okay."
"Are you done?" asked Lucas. Zayn nodded, glancing at Lucas' bowl, that wasn't even half empty
Lucas pulled his chair, and stood up, taking the bowl in his hands. "Let's go then."
...
They were walking back to the hostel, the wet gravel of the road sticking to his shoes, when Lucas' phone buzzed again.
Zayn shot a half glance at him, and licked his lips. "Why don't you pick it up? Your mum must be worrying."
"Let it ring."
It buzzed again.
"You should answer it."
Lucas stopped in his tracks, pushing his phone out and handed it to Zayn. "You answer it, and tell her I'm lying a gutter."
Zayn's jaw dropped, but he quickly recovered and stared at the phone that was still ringing. "Okay, I will. But, why?" He asked innocently.
Lucas shot him a death glare. "You're right. Answer it, she'll not stop until then."
Zayn nodded and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
Zayn flinched, glanced at Lucas, who stood with his hands on his hips and returned to the phone.
"Mrs. Dankworth, I'm his dormmate." Zayn informed loudly, looking at Lucas once again, his eyes questioning his decision to pick up the phone. Lucas shrugged, visibly amused seeing Zayn in the situation.
"Yes—yes, I'll tell him." nodded Zayn.
"He's... He's—" Lucas looked at him enquiringly, "Where are you? In the gutter?" asked Zayn quietly, putting his hand over the phone.
"Bathroom." mouthed Lucas.
"He's in the bathroom. Having a wee, I guess." said Zayn, returning to the phone. "I don't know what's taking him long, Mrs. Dankworth."
He nodded once again, "Okay. I'll tell him." He nodded vigorously, then and disconnected the call, a sigh of relief leaving him.
"Had fun?" asked Lucas, once Zayn had handed him the phone back.
"I don't think she's too convinced about your whole bathroom story. She told me to tell you that you're screwed and also to call her back."
Lucas shook his head and started walking again. "I've been here for more than a month, okay? And she can't live without calling me a hundred times a day. It's getting too much."
Zayn smiled, "She only cares for you."
Lucas' jaw clenched. "I know that."
A sudden thought made him look at lucas again. He smiled, thinking he might find some similarity in his dormmate. "Do you live far from here, too?"
Lucas' eyes flickered at him. Zayn regretted adding the 'too', in the end.
"No. I live in this town." said Lucas, taking small strides now. "I've been pampered my whole life. I needed to get out of that space." He glanced at Zayn again, as if seeking his reaction. "Such scrutiny, on whatever I'm doing, always keeping me in a cocoon. I couldn't take it anymore. So, I decided to live in the hostels, do my own shit."
"Oh."
"It's not like the pampering has stopped, though." He said suddenly, earning a laugh from Zayn. "Mom sends me everything she cooks every time. If you forget dinner, lunch, supper or whatever, just tell me. I'll give you food. Loads."
Zayn chuckled, "Thanks."
"No mention." He tilted his head, "Mum loves to feed." He gazed at the trees, his face turned thoughtful. "There's so much food, it's horrendous."
Zayn laughed again, staring at Lucas.
"No, really!" frowned Lucas. "It's good you didn't get food with you, only some crisps, am I right?"
Zayn nodded, confused where this was going.
"George can be tedious sometimes. If it came to him, he could have checked if you had some with you." He told Zayn, "He didn't, did he? Otherwise you would be in some trouble."
Zayn listened carefully, surprised that Lucas was telling him something out of his own will.
"I know I was!" A smile broke out on Lucas' lips, and it was the first time he'd let his guard down, and had genuinely smiled.
Zayn could tell, because, who knew Lucas had dimples?
"My previous Resident advisor? Of Reaper Hill?" He continued. "You won't know him, I reckon. He's a mad man, I tell you. Saw me sneaking Peter's food."
"Peter? Do you know him? Must have been in the literature class. Anyway, most people on that floor were my friends, so we used to exchange food that came from our homes all the time! He saw me, my resident advisor. I thought that's the end of me. We aren't allowed food from outside, you know." He finished and took a deep breath.
Zayn sighed too, suddenly feeling breathless seeing the amount of talking Lucas was capable of doing.
Lucas seemed to not have finished yet, though. Because after the small pause, he continued. "We had to bribe him with Peter's food." He completed. "Seriously though, his mum is the best cook. Mine is too, of course." He shot Zayn a glance. He smiled guiltily, "But Peter's food? I'll get it for you once. I say it every time, and I shall quote it now too. 'His mum should open a restaurant. I know I'll be a regular costumer.'" He shrugged, smiling.
Zayn smiled at him, thinking back on what Lucas had said.
He had friends in his previous hostel. It was possibly because of Zayn that he had to leave them and come live with him, instead.
"It's not like mom will let me go, though. His mom would open the restaurant in Nightmule, you see. It will be ages before I convince my mom to let me go to another town." Lucas started talking again, but Zayn wasn't listening this time.
He had seen Lucas with his friends, roaming around. Maybe that's the reason why he had skipped classes yesterday. To spend time with his friends some more before the schedule gets taut and he can't do that anymore.
He was still saying something, when Zayn interrupted him.
"Why did you change hostels, Lucas?" He asked straightforward, praying quietly that his arrival was not the reason.
His face hardened as he stared at Zayn, not moving anymore. "Er—too many factors, I guess—they thought it would be good—" Lucas stuttered. Zayn wondered why he wouldn't simply put the blame. "They—they thought it would be good—"
With a pang of guilt that rose in his chest, he declared he was right. "You stay with a studious lad, you stay motivated." completed Zayn, seeing Lucas' jaw drop as the words left his mouth.
He closed it quickly and bit on his lower lip. "Yeah," He breathed, and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Strange." He laughed humourlessly. "Exact words, man."
Zayn smiled ruefully, looking away, because Lucas had turned away too.
Neither of them talked until they reached the Hostel, after that.
It shouldn't have been awkward, really, seeing their history. They didn't always had much to talk with each other. Was it just him, or Lucas felt the tension between them too? Something that the silence never conjured between them?
They showed their ID's and, entered from the front doors. George wasn't sitting behind his desk. Probably was still having breakfast. Did he have breakfast in the Mess as well?
Lucas was unlocking their door when Zayn bit his lip, muttering a feeble apology.
Lucas had half entered when he turned. "Pardon?" He asked, standing in the doorway.
Zayn tapped his foot, leaning his weight on the other one. "I—I said I'm sorry." He snapped his fingers behind his back nervously.
Lucas stared at him blankly, eyebrows furrowed. Confusion written on his face. He blinked, brushing his hair away once more. He seemed to do that a lot.
Suddenly, his face relaxed, and his gaze softened.
"Oh." He whispered, biting his lip again, a force keeping his eyes downcast.
Suddenly, catching Zayn off guard, Lucas took his hand and dragged him inside, closing the door behind him.
Zayn still hadn't recovered when Lucas held him by his shoulders.
"I don't mind, okay?" He spoke fervently, like he didn't intend on speaking it, but things were happening involuntarily. "Don't feel guilty about it. It isn't your fault—if—if you think it is. I don't mind." He said anxiously. "Really." He added, as an afterthought.
Zayn stared at him, watching his nervous eyes. His eyes really were dark. He almost wanted to smile, seeing Lucas so uncomfortable. Did he just manage to make Lucas uncomfortable, for a change?
As quickly as Lucas had held him, he left him as abruptly. "Forget all this happened, okay? This doesn't ignite any sort of friendship."
Zayn snorted, and clenched his jaw to compose himself.
"Doesn't work that way, man." Zayn shrugged, enjoying this. Not really knowing why. "This isn't Harry Potter, sadly. You can't charm my memory."
Lucas narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms against his chest. "Even if it was, I wouldn't have a wand."
Zayn made a face. "If it was, you would, obviously, stupid ." He scoffed.
Lucas nodded slowly, chewing the inner side of his cheeks. "I'm sure I'd have a dark mark, though."
Zayn's eyes widened. "That's a solid speculation, again." He said, pursing his lips.
Lucas rolled his eyes. "Now come on!" He gestured at the closet. "Get ready, soon. You have a lot to teach me and we don't have all the time in this world."
Zayn nodded, smirking at him.
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(I didn't proofread this chapter, tell me the mistakes.)
Oh my god, this is the longest I've written.
I don't know what to think of this chapter. What do you think?
Vote, comment and review and tell me what's going on here? Is there something you suspect? Any theories?
There are small hints I drop in the chapters here and there, you know. I don't know how many of you notice.
All the love,
Bye!