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Riley turns to me with the purest grin on her face.
"What is it, Riles?"
She tilts her head to the side and I look over to find a cute boy slouching on the bench. He looks up from his book and smiles at Riley.
A thought crosses my mind and I unlink our arms as the subway train takes off. She flies onto his lap and shyly looks at him.
"Hi," I catch him say through the booming subway chatter. "I'm Lucas."
"I'm Riley," she awkwardly waves and smiles.
I tune them out as they continue small talking. I get a strange feeling in my stomach and furrow my eyebrows. She's still sitting in his lap and I feel this strong urge to pull her away from him.
"Who's your friend?" he asks and gestures towards me.
"That's Maya, my best friend," she tells him. "Maya, this is Lucas. He moved from Texas and he's in our grade!"
"Texas?" I smirk and tip down an imaginary cowboy hat. "Howdy, huckleberry."
He raises his eyebrows and Riley gives me a look.
"Am I gonna have to deal with that whenever we hang out?" he laughs.
Riley shrugs and gets up from his lap. "Wherever I go, she goes. And you'd hang out with me again?"
"Yeah, of course," he smiles, revealing bright and flawless teeth. "Only if you want."
She nods and smiles. "I'd love that."
I bite my lip and try not to show how irritated I am at this.
The train stops and the three of us walk to the school. Riley and Lucas are in front of me while I'm treading behind them. I feel a little hurt that she's walking with him and not me. I mean, they just met, but she'd rather talk about his wild Texas rodeos and shit. Riley and I always walk to school together. I don't want him to take my place.
Maybe I'm just being overprotective.
Riley's never really had a boyfriend or anything. I mean, there was Charlie Gardner, but that was hardly a thing. I just don't want to see her get hurt, right? They just met and hardly know each other. Knowing Riley, she probably won't get past the first date without being awkward as hell.
I must look like I'm deep in thought because Riley turns to me and tilts her head. "You okay, Peaches?"
I rapidly blink my eyes and smile. "Yeah, all good."
"Peaches?" Lucas repeats, a little confused.
"Yeah," Riley says. "It's our thing."
We get to the school and grab our schedules from the office.
"Oh my god, we have History and Chemistry together!" Riley excitedly says to Lucas.
I feel an ache in my heart when she completely forgets I'm standing there. She didn't even compare our schedules like we always do on the first day.
Why am I getting so hurt over this?
It's not a big deal. It's just Riley. But why can't I stop feeling this awful feeling? Lucas doesn't seem like a terrible person. In fact, he reminds me of Riley in so many ways and it's only been a few minutes. I try to push the thought away and look at my schedule. I have Algebra first block and I groan.
"Hey, Maya, I'm gonna show Lucas his class, see ya," she waves and walks away with him.
I stand there in shock for a minute. After the bell rings, I slowly make my way to Algebra, not caring that I'll be late.
I sit through the teacher's boring run through of the syllabus and think about earlier. I've never felt this way before, and I sure as hell don't know what I'm feeling. Am I jealous that Riley already has a potential relationship with someone? I tell myself that's what's wrong, but deep down, I'm still confused.
The rest of the day was a blur. History was awful because Riley sat next to Lucas instead of in her usual seat, right next to me. Even Mr. Matthews, who happens to be our teacher all the damn time, was a little puzzled. He kept an eye on the two and occasionally glanced at me to check if I was okay. I really wasn't, but I nodded anyway.
Chemistry was just as terrible. She sat next to Lucas. I was stuck with Farkle, which I was okay with but honestly, I'd rather be next to Riley. He asked who Lucas was so I told him, and he was confused as to why she sat with him when they just met. I shrugged and tried to ignore that gut feeling that completely ruined my day.
I get onto the subway train with Riley and Lucas. I should've just told Farkle to drive me home because it was torture watching them flirt.
I try my best to ignore them but I couldn't. Riley's laughter filled the train and I just felt even worse listening to her beautiful laugh.
Riley doesn't notice when I get off the train and my heart hurts. I walk along the crowded sidewalk and finally get home.
"Hey, baby," Mom smiles and hugs me. "How was your day?'
"It was great!" I fake a smile.
"Yeah? Did you have any classes with Riley?"
I clench my jaw and try to keep my smile going. "Yeah, yeah a few. I'm gonna go to my room and draw, bye Mom."
She kisses my cheek and goes back to reading her magazine. I skip up the stairs and jump onto my bed. I lie there for god knows how long and try to think of something other than Riley.
Why can't I stop thinking of her? I don't want to think of her or anything that has to do with her. Honestly, it's killing me. Just the thought of her with someone else hurts so much.
It shouldn't hurt, though. I should be happy that she likes someone and someone likes her. But I don't think I want her to like him.
I look out my window and sigh as cars zip by. Maybe if I just talk to her like we always do, the feeling would go away.
I go down and wave at Mom. "I'm going to Riley's."
"Okay, be safe out there," she tells me, and I nod.
I stroll along the sidewalk and feel the cool night breeze hit my face. Night walks were my favorite. They were calming, unlike the obnoxious and crowded day walks.
I make my way to Riley's fire escape and knock on the bay window. After a few seconds, I see her adorable face and wave. She opens the window and I slide into her room.
"Hey, Peaches!"
"Hi, Riles," I say as I sit on the bench.
"So, how do you like Lucas?"
"He's great, you guys would be really cute," I lie through my teeth.
"He asked me out earlier. Should I say yes?"
"Well, you clearly like him, so why not?" I tell her, absolutely loathing this topic. "You don't need my permission, you know."
She nods and kisses my cheek, making my eyes go wide.
She always does that, but it just feels different now. I don't want it to feel different, I want everything to go back to what it was before today. Why won't it go away? Why can't I stop internally freaking out around her?
"Are you okay, Maya?" she asks.
I nod and face forward, avoiding her eyes. Her soft fingers gently lift my chin towards her and I feel my heart race.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, Riles. Peachy."
She stares at me for a few seconds and smiles. "Okay."
I gulp as I realize she's still holding my chin. "Um...Riles?"
She raises her eyebrows and I gesture towards her hand that's cupping my face. Quickly, she removes it and mouths sorry.
"So, um, what do you wanna do?" she asks, avoiding my eyes.
I shrug and she gets up. "Let's go to the movie theater."
"Like, right now?" I ask.
"Why not? I'll invite Lucas and Farkle."
I bite my lip and feel myself getting extremely angry as soon as she mentions Lucas. I just wanted to hang out with her and only her, not her little boyfriend.
"Sure, let's go."
I don't know why I keep agreeing to whatever she wants, but I can't stop. I don't want to ruin her chance at happiness. Though I hate the thought of Lucas and Riley together.
Riley texts them and we get onto the train. I don't say much and Riley furrows her eyebrows halfway into the ride.
"What's wrong? And don't lie, Maya. I know something's wrong."
I sigh and try to come up with something she'll believe. "I don't know, it's just...I thought I'd be the first one to get a boyfriend, not you?"
Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
"Am I not capable of getting a boyfriend first?" she frowns. "Are you saying there's something wrong with me or what?"
My eyes widen and I immediately regret everything. "No, no, of course not. I just...nevermind, forget I said anything."
"I thought you'd be happy for me," she softly says.
"I am," I tell her. "If you're happy, I'm happy, okay?"
She nods and I link our arms with a smile. We walk off the train and towards the theater. Farkle and Lucas were going to meet us here, so we grab some popcorn while we wait for them to show up. A few minutes later, I spot Farkle and wave at him. He runs up to us and scares Riley, who was paying no attention.
She jumps and buries her face against my shoulder.
"Don't do that," she mumbles and we laugh.
She lifts her head and immediately smiles. "Lucas!"
I look over at the entrance and see his dazzling grin. I try not to gag at the sight of her running up to hug him. They're hugging already? Farkle looks over at me and studies me.
"What's up, Maya? You've been acting really weird today. Did something happen?"
"I don't know," I tell him. "But I'll tell you once I figure it out, okay?"
He nods. "Okay, take your time."
We walk into the theater and go to the top row. Farkle and Riley sit next to me and Lucas is on the other side of Riley. The lights dim down and I sigh as the movie begins. I hear Lucas whisper to Riley, but I couldn't quite make it out. She quietly giggles and I refrain from screaming at the top of my lungs.
Farkle nudges my shoulder and I shoot daggers at him.
"You good?" he whispers.
I nod and fake another smile. The movie continues and I peek over at Riley, who's holding Lucas's hand.
My heart hurts.
They just fucking met and she's already all over him.
The movie ends along with my absolute torture. I ask Farkle to drive me home, knowing I wouldn't make it through the subway ride with the two lovebirds.
"Maya..." Farkle begins and I feel a long rant coming along.
"What is it?" I sigh.
"I know I said tell me when you want, but I gotta ask," he cautiously says. "Are you jealous?"
I shrug and he continues. "Do you like Lucas or something? Because if you do, Riley's gonna be crushed and-"
I exhale with relief and decide to go along with what he's saying. "I might like him a little. It's just a stupid little crush that'll go away in no time, though. Besides, Lucas isn't even my type. He's too nice and I'd never take him from Riley. I want her to be happy."
"Okay," he nods and turns into my neighborhood. "As long as it's not serious."
"Thanks, Farkle," I smile and get out of the car. "Don't tell Riley, though. I don't want her to feel like she needs to step back from him or anything."
"Your secret's safe with me," he reassures. "Bye, Maya."
I wave and walk through my front door. I'm surprised he believed me. I go up to my room and grab my sketchbook.
Maybe I actually do like Lucas. Is that why I'm so jealous around them being together? No, I could never like him. He's so...Lucas.
It's not Lucas.
I sigh and mindlessly doodle. Everything has been so strange lately, and I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm so fucking confused.
I toss my sketchbook onto the ground in frustration. I smash my face into my pillow and scream. After I let out whatever pent up emotions I had boggling my mind, I go into the kitchen and grab a snack.
Mom was working a late shift at the diner, so I quickly whip up a mediocre sandwich. I listen to some music and gulp down my food. Riley keeps crossing my mind. Honestly, I wish I could just forget her right now.
But apparently, my mind has other plans.