Nobu was her favorite place to go to. Sitting with her plate of Salmon Avocado Rolls while she sipped off her Lychee & Elderflower martini, she appraised her now roommate Zolee Washington. The young woman had landed two hours prior and they'd wasted no time dropping her things off before coming in for dinner. One thing she didn't expect was to find so much comfort in her presence.
She never realized she was lonely until someone shared her space.
"So , this is the life you live now huh Ya?" Her accent always perplexed Yara , no matter how long Zolee lived in Colorado she truly was every bit of St. Louis, Missouri which was crazy considering how young she was when she left.
"It's not even close. This is just me taking a break from it honestly. LA brings a lot of things out of people. I'm not sure how I feel about the me that exists here."
"What do you mean?"
Yara allowed the question to marinate in her mind just like her drink simmered on her taste buds. Watching Zolee's face she analyzed how she had changed. Her cheeks had filled out and her body had as well, but she was still tiny in stature. What she always admired about her friend was that despite her height she had a commanding presence, one that almost demanded reverence. There was a rural royalty to Zolee that she never saw on anyone else besides perhaps Zolee's own grandmother.
"I mean that when I was in Colorado , for a very long time I felt like an outsider , a burden. That disconnect precipitated into my want to leave and when I got here, I realized I never really got to know myself because I only compared myself to others. LA gave me a chance to do what I wanted , be who I wanted but I'm not sure if I became myself or if I let my past dictate my actions to an extent where I fell deeper into a façade."
Reaching a hand out , Zolee placed her palm on top of Yara's closed fist before she gave her a tender look.
"Ya , you know you were never an outsider to me or Kaia or Aya."
Smirking slightly , the young woman sipped her drink before she waved her hand nonchalantly.
"I was but I can't really blame them for how they felt. I was an obligation to the Underwoods and that's perfectly fine because that's not what I chose , it just was the hand I was dealt. Don't get me wrong Zolee , I love my brother and sister , my aunt and uncle but I also remember that they had to learn to love me. I was the one thing that proved that dear old dad wasn't the saint people thought he was. I'm the bastard Zolee."
"Aya never mentioned that to us at all. You two always seemed so close by the time we came in the picture. I thought your only animosity was over Lucas."
Gaping , Yara gave Zolee a questioning look which made her chuckle.
"C'mon Yaya , you think I didn't know about you and Lucas? Please , he lived right across the street from me. I saw a lot of things many nights but that wasn't my business therefore I kept it moving."
"Why didn't you tell Aya?"
The question didn't seem to throw Zolee off. As a matter of fact, it made her smile even.
"Because like I said, it wasn't my business to tell besides I knew the drama it would cause, and I decided Lucas wasn't worth it. You both aren't with him now so looks like I was right."
She couldn't argue with that , Zolee had made the right call but that was forever her place in the group. Whether the girls liked to admit or not they all took on their personas the moment they became a foursome. Zolee was the level-headed peacemaker, the motherly one while Aya was the It girl of the group, the one every boy desired and every girl emulated. Kaia took on the role of drama queen which was apt seeing as she was now an actress and Yara , she was always the wildcard , that never changed.
"You have a point but Zolee I know my family, so I know I'm right. Aya and I are months apart literally. Her birthday is in October and mine is in January , so I've always been the indiscretion. Besides the way my mom and dad met is already shady too."
"What happened? We never asked you guys because we didn't think it was a big deal besides you all look alike so no one assumed until the town started talking again."
Rolling her eyes at the comment. Of course, their hometown was always talking , more likely the old ladies of their home town were always talking. Grandma Mary never hid her feelings about it so when she vented to her knitting circle, she didn't care how the news spread. However, she maintained that her son had made a mistake , just like all humans did. He was still a good man despite his mistakes , his lovechild , Yara.
"My dad met my mother on one of his frequent business trips to Nevada , she was a stripper there and they fell in lust. The sick part is he made it no secret that he had a family, that his wife was expecting twins a boy and a girl, they'd just found out a few weeks prior. He told her that his wife Amaia was a bit distant since finding out she was pregnant , apparently, she had really bad morning sickness. She made herself open to him and he didn't turn her away. When she called him four months later and told him she was pregnant, he hung up on her. He didn't call back until she'd had me. We were on the streets within two months and he began to send her money so things would be kept quiet. It kept them that way for a while until the accident. It sent her on a spiral , she went back to stripping and drugs. She took us to Colorado and made an uproar at Grandma Mary's house and that was the day everyone found out I existed."
Yara shrugged as if she was nonplussed but Zolee saw through it , making a low sound of intrigue she allowed her friend to meditate before she continued.
"I don't remember what happened after that really we were all only four years old. Apparently, Aunt Denise couldn't bear the thought of me growing up with my mother, so she offered to take me in much to Grandma Mary's dismay. My mother posed no resistance , she just wanted a pair of my dad's cufflinks and just like that she was on her way. Never saw her again."
"Really? You know I can relate to the whole motherless thing so I get it but you still had a family that loved you Yara. GMa Mary came around because I remember her taking you to shop for prom dresses."
"She was dying and repentant Zolee but that woman had made sure my whole life that I knew I was different. She succeeded , besides you can't compare our situations. You came from love, your parents loved each other."
"Love obviously wasn't enough , my mother still left us and killed herself so you're right Ya our situations aren't comparable. You still have a parent walking around somewhere. You still had a mother and father figure. I had my grandmother and that was it. I had and have no parents Yara."
For the first time in a while she felt shame. Rubbing her hand against her forearm , the socialite gave her friend an apologetic look which Zolee waved off.
"You have the habit of dwelling on shit or avoiding it but never facing it. I faced mine so me bringing up the truth doesn't hurt but I'm going to need you to take accountability for who you are now because that's not on anybody else but you."
Nodding solemnly , Yara took in Zolee's words before she sipped her margarita. She missed the other side of being friends with a person , the raw truth that friends gave.
Was it what she was trying to hear?
No.
However, did she need to hear it?
Yes.
-
That night , after settling back into her apartment she sat on her counter with a glass of red Moscato. Zolee was knocked out hours ago , jet lag had caught up to her. So, here Yara was simmering in their conversation that went way too deep for her liking. Skirting off the counter top she stopped in her tracks as she heard a knock resound at her door.
Ambling toward it slowly , she looked through the peephole before she deftly opened it.
"Well, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
The syrupy tone of her voice made his eyes roll before he invited himself in. The way he stumbled in made two things clear to her: he was drunk, and he'd come here for one reason only.
"I would've waited for you to call but you made it clear what you wanted."
The tumbling cascade of his words almost sobered her. Quincy never got like this yet here he was off his as drunk in the middle of her apartment at two AM. She wasn't going to send him away because honestly after the truth that had slapped her, she needed a reprieve. She wanted nothing more than to expose herself and not her soul. She wanted the feeling she got from sex because she was always in control.
"So why are you here then?"
"Because I made my decisions too Yara, but I just had to see you one more time."
Before she could speak, he'd wrapped his arms around her waist and entangled himself with her. She didn't remember the question that had been on her mind seconds prior, but she knew as he picked her up and led her to her bedroom, she'd be able to jump out of reality once again. She was grateful for that.
Closing her eyes as she rode him , she let her hands roam her own body just as his were. She never could bring herself to stare directly in anyone's eyes , it was a mixture of the intimacy and the fact that eye contact reduced her chances of orgasm.
Quincy was passionate and gentle naturally , he touched her body like he wanted to savor it. Kissed her like it would be the last time, every time. Tangled his hands in her hair and pulled gently in hopes to hear her sounds of approval and he did.
When she'd finally felt satisfied, she rolled from out under him and wrapped herself in her sheets. As usual he braced an arm around her waist and tried to keep her close.
For the first time in a while , she didn't fight him.
The next morning however , she found that he was the one searching frantically for his clothes. Looking around her room and glaring at the sunshine that peaked through her blinds, she sat up calmly and watched him.
"Making an exit?"
Startled at her voice the young man dropped his shirt and stared at her momentarily before he shook his head and resumed getting dressed.
"Yara I got engaged two nights ago, I don't know how I ended up here."
Baffled , she felt her skin crawl as she stared at him before furrowing her brows.
"Did you just say engaged?"
"Yes I did , look I know."
"Yeah Quincy you do , you know how I feel about taken men! WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER?!"
Her own anger took them both by surprise. She had stated early on that she wasn't interested in wrecking relationships that weren't her own, but he didn't think she felt that strongly about it.
"I don't know Yara and I'm sorry , look it was a mistake."
He lamented and to his surprise , Yara simply nodded before she got up and slid on her silk robe before walking out to her kitchen. She needed to wrap her head around this.
She'd just fucked someone's fiancé, she felt sick to her stomach.
When he surfaced from her bedroom moments later ,she averted his eyes nut she couldn't shake his touch. Refusing to turn to look at him , Quincy let out a sigh before he kissed the side of her face.
"When I said it was a mistake , I meant the engagement , not me and you but I know you want, and I'll respect that."
Frozen , she remained in place until the door slammed and she whipped around to only catch the ghost of his presence. The cologne trail he left, she knew it all too well but what she knew better was that he was right about them.
They would never work.
It was because of that statement that she didn't feel right about addressing his feelings on his engagement, that had nothing to do with her. Pouring a glass of vodka and cranberry she took it hard before a knock interrupted her.
Had he come back?
Steeling herself to meet those brown eyes that had seen so much of her but still knew so little. She was caught off guard by the brown orbs she actually met. As he grinned down at her small frame wrapped in a red silk robe, her hair in a curly effortless top bun and her facial expression which was unreadable, he leaned in her doorway.
"Good morning Yara, I think we should talk."
Moving past her, Jordan Clarkson invited himself in and sat on her couch.