requested: yes
scenario: They broke up 6 years ago since they were in highschool but they meet at MAMA. That time Rosé was in a relationship with Joshua (SVT). And then Seunghoon realized that he is still in love with Rosé
pairing: seunghoon x rosé
genre: fluff,fluff,fluff and lots of more fluff, angst
au: idol
word count: 1,623 words
status: unedited
a/n: swearing
sorry this took so long and it looks so half-assed
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his eyes stared into mine sorrowfully, his fingers trembling just a little.
"i'm sorry chaeng, but we have to break up."
lee seunghoon, my first love and my first heartbreak. we dated for awhile back in high school, when we were both trainees. he was a trainee at yg and i was a trainee at sm entertainment. back then, he was my moon and all the stars in the sky. now... i don't know what he is anymore. it's been 6 years and yet i still have feelings for him, and i feel guilty for that because now i'm dating joshua of seventeen.
he's an angel, no doubt. his smile lights up the room and his laugh is music to my ears, but i genuinely feel bad for him because seunghoon is all i can think about. i thought i loved joshua. i really thought i did. but reality's a pain in the ass, isn't it?
well, back to present events. my group, blackpink, is preparing for our performance at mama, and we anxiously pray that we'll be bringing home some awards tonight. i heard that winner and ikon would be attending, and i hope to avoid seunghoon for as long as i can. he's the cause of both my happiness and pain, but mostly the latter.
jennie was stunning as usual, as was jisoo. lisa looked like a goddess, and i...
i don't know how to feel about me.
i've done this for a long time and yet i feel scared. is it because he's there? is it because i know he'll be watching?
"girls, you're on in 5!" a stage manager called out to us. we nodded and calmly went to our positions, speaking in hushed voices.
"chaeng, he's here..." jisoo murmured, hand over the mic in case it was on.
"i know," i mumbled back. "don't remind me."
i took a deep breath and opened my eyes, ready for the stage lights to shine on us. we looked at the crowd as the stage lifted us up, the music starting a few seconds after we got used to the crowd. whistle played and we automatically started dancing to the music, dancing elegantly.
"you're so beautiful
i can't forget you
your eyes still make my heart flutter, boom boom." i sang and somehow made eye contact with seunghoon. i was lucky that my part for the time being was over and quickly switched places. lisa sang and i danced, my eyes avoiding his.
does he really care anymore? does he really give a shit about me? after our breakup i'm not sure anymore. sure, exes aren't meant to be friends, but he... he was my first love, my first real relationship. he made me feel special, but he also threw me away. at this point, i honestly don't know who to trust in this world.
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seeing chaeyoung on stage, performing, ignited something in me. i know she's in a relationship with joshua of seventeen, hell, every idol knows. even the newly debuted rookies.
i'm not allowed to say i'm jealous. i let her go, and she deserves to be happy. but if i have the chance to get her back, you bet i would.
i feel dumb. this wasn't this first time i've seen her perform after we broke up, so why do i feel like this? what's changed?
her voice was as lovely as ever, her eyes glittering in the lights. her dance moves were precise; but when were they not?
this wasn't the same chaeyoung i knew. this is rosé, the main vocalist of blackpink. the chaeyoung i left was broken and felt hopeless. it's only right if i call her rosé now.
we had eye contact for a few milliseconds but that was more than enough time to send my heart beating a hundred miles an hour. i glanced from the corner of my eyes, seeing joshua staring at her proudly. i wish i could do the same.
god chaeyoung, i fucking love you.
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we performed whistle and playing with fire and i kept making eye contact with seunghoon unintentionally. it was so infuriating, i'll tell you that.
i hate how i still love his attention on me. i hate how my heart still beats just a little faster for him. i'm sorry joshua, but i don't know if i can do this relationship anymore. i can't be with someone i don't love and i don't want him to waste his time on me. he deserves to be happy, to be with someone who really loves him with all their heart.
i, unfortunately, have not been able to do that. not with the gaping hole that lee seunghoon left in my heart.
once we finished, we rushed out to let the next group perform in time. we were guided to our seats, and to our luck, we're seated next to winner. fun.
seunghoon was seated at the very end, and the girls already took the other three seats so i had no choice but to sit next to him. it is not the most... pleasurable experience to sit next to your ex-boyfriend.
i can't wait for all of this to be —————————————————————
"joshua, hey... can we talk?" i whispered backstage after the last performances ended. he nodded and i brought him into a secluded space.
"what's up, love?" i winced inwardly at the pet name. he's going to hate me so much.
"i..." my breath hitched in my throat. "before i start blabbering, i want you to know that i do love you... but i think it's best we split."
"why?" he looked bewildered. "what did i do wrong?"
"it's not you!" i sighed. "it's me. i don't think it's right for me to hog you if i don't see you in that way anymore. you... you're a lovely person, joshua. anyone would be lucky to have you, so i'm letting you go. you can be free, free from the chains that are me. i'm sorry."
"i see," he nodded slowly. "i guess it wasn't fated, huh?"
"not many people are that lucky to find their true love but i believe you can," i sadly smiled at him. "i don't blame you if you'll hate me after this, i just want you to be happy."
"i could never hate you even if i tried," he took my hands and smiled. "i hope we can stay friends."
"if that's what you want, we can." i hugged him one last time. "thank you for being amazing."
"thank you for trying." he kissed my lips for the last time and we bid goodbye to each other. i quickly joined the girls and we head back to the dorms, silence enveloping the car. we head straight to bed, saying goodnight quietly.
lee seunghoon, you better man-up and fix what you've done.
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sitting next to her was a bit painful and awkward. seriously, sitting next to your ex isn't something many would enjoy.
the boys knew i dated someone, seeing as i did openly admit that i was dating someone on live tv but i never told them who.
"you seem a bit down," seungyoon took a seat next to me in the car. "what's bothering you?"
"you know how i said i dated a famous girl?" i blurted out immediately before i could think through my words.
"yeah?"
"that girl... she's blackpink's rosé." i couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes, opting to look outside in the night sky instead.
"why'd you guys break up, then?" seungyoon asked after a few minutes of silence.
"we were debuting and yg threatened to pull me out of the lineup if i didn't break up, so i did what i had to do to debut. we fought so hard, i couldn't let that go to waste..." my voice grew smaller and smaller towards the end. "it's not like i'm going to get her back now, she's with joshua."
"she's not, actually." i peered at him through the corner of my eyes and saw him grin. "joshua texted me they broke up."
"holy shit, really?" my head went up so fast i was afraid i was going to get a whiplash.
"mhmm," he nodded. "if you really want her back, prove it to her."
"i will," i nodded. i guess i have a shot of getting my baby back, after all.
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as soon as i woke up, i got her number from seungyoon and immediately texted her.
from: seunghoon
to: chaeyoung
Hi Rosé, it's me, Seunghoon.
from: chaeyoung
to: seunghoon
oh hi
from: seunghoon
to: chaeyoung
I was wondering if we could
perhaps... talk?
from: chaeyoung
to: seungyoon
alright. i'll call you.
she was true to her words; she really did.
"5 minutes to explain yourself." she bluntly said. "it starts now."
"i broke up with you because yang hyunsuk made me choose between you or my career!" i spouted our. "if i didn't let you go, i wouldn't've been able to debut!"
"why didn't you tell me earlier?" she sighed, after a few seconds of excruciating silence. "well, you chose the right thing anyways."
"i — what?" least to say, i was flabbergasted.
"if it's me or your career, you choose your career. to be honest, i would've done to the same. so i don't blame you. and honestly, if you're thinking about getting back together, entertain me. that way, we can put everything behind us and have a new start like what we deserve." although i'm not there with here, i have no doubt she's wearing the same smile as i an at this very moment.
i'm going to get the love of my love back and no one is going to stop me.