This is the second attempt at this chapter since the first one was somehow deleted:(
**
Dominik:
I never would've thought that I would have to do so much on my own like moving into college. Back when everything was planned out and I thought I had everything figured out, I was going to be anything but alone, moving into my new apartment right by my college. It was honestly one of the scariest thing I've ever had to do alone, right next to graduation. It was sheer forced independence and it scared me so bad, I just wanted to disappear. If my mom hadn't gone missing and my dad didn't hate me, I'd say that they would be proud of me... but then I remember that if those two things weren't true, they would actually be here and helping me. It's times like this that I'm glad that we all decided that I would be living in an apartment. I don’t think I could handle the crowd and seeing all of these college students with their parents helping them move in.
I’m also glad that we decided that I would be going out of state for college. This way I am away from home and I don’t have to see dad’s glare knowing it’s me fault that mom left. The only other problem besides the obvious is that a certain someone was planning on going to the same college as I. Yeah, so half of my problems basically followed me here. I’m going to have to see the one guy that I trusted with everything and he betrayed me. He cheated on me and had the nerve to come back to me and be with me right after.
Isaac is going to be here too… No, he didn’t hurt me, but I was a jerk to him after everything. I shut him out and I told him to leave me alone. I ignored him and I didn’t trust him. After all, if my boyfriend of three years can turn out so horribly, why can’t my friendship with Isaac?
They are both going to be at the same college with me. The one person I want to be the farthest from right now is one of the two people from my past that will be closest to me. The other person I am afraid hates me and won’t ever talk to me again. I’m completely and utterly alone and the feeling suddenly becomes prominent as I’m setting down the last box with my stuff and I lay down on my bed with a sigh. I slump down as I realize I still have to go out and buy food to keep in the apartment that won’t spoil any time soon since I don’t eat much.
This was the animal I had become...
I heave myself back up and sigh again as I grab my wallet and leave the phone laying there, knowing that I don’t have anyone to call and see how I’m settling in. I make it to the door before pausing and remembering my keys on the bed. Once I retrieve my keys, I get on the elevator at the end of the hall and head down through the lobby to the parking lot. I climb into my car and start to wander around, trying to remember where the closest grocery store is.
After fifteen minutes of driving around, I finally find it and park at the back where nobody had parked. I quickly make my way through the parking lot and enter the doors. I make my way towards the canned foods and grab some soups. Once I had made my way around the store and got what I needed, I was rounding the corner after grabbing milk when I bumped into somebody. I was able to save my milk from dropping out of my hand and looked up to apologize when my eyes met the sight of my mother… With one of the rich guys that used to be our neighbor. The jerk that always found a way to make all of us mad. The guy Dad had always complained about and confronted.
“Oh!... Nick, sweetie-”I cut her off when my mind registered the old nickname she used to use before I came out.
“What- why… When did this happen?” I interrupted her with my strangled words of shock and heartache. All this time I was getting blamed for her leaving, and really she was just cheating on my dad with the freaking neighbor and left to be with him? All this time I was miserable and it was just because she couldn’t be faithful to my dad and our family. This- this female dog!
“Oh don’t give me that look!” She snapped and her expression became sour and nasty- unrecognizable. “I was so miserable and to add to everything I just had to have a fag for a son!” Tears sprung to my eyes but I was still a little used to hearing her talk about me like that. This was just an example of how she was when I first came out to the family before Dad told her to stop.
“Dad loved you! Derek and Donovan loved you! Even though you hated me, I loved you too!” I shook my head when I realized I was using past tense, “They still love you, even though you left us! I still love you even though you’re one of the only people that hate me for being gay! You were surrounded with love, you selfish whor-”
SLAP!
“Don’t you dare!” I look at shock at the stranger in front of my that I had once called my mother. I closed my mouth and glared at her with blurry eyes before pushing past them with my groceries in hand. Before I got too far, though, the tan arm that she had been clutching to was punching me in the face where my mom had previously slapped me. I pushed him away and speed-walked to the register. It took all I had not to cry until after I had checked out and was in my car. I shook my head as I cried with anger and sadness. I took one hand off the wheel and gently touch my stinging and aching cheek.
I let out a sob and shook my head again. A plan was swarming through my head and I know what I have to do. Even if they’re going to hate me for it.
***
I bite my lip and softly knock on the door as if wishing to not be heard. I hear a few shouts as they told Derek to open the door. The door swung open and the polite expression he had been wearing melted like ice on a stove. I looked at the ground as he looked at me with a look I couldn’t decipher.
“What are you doing here?” Wow, Derek, it’s not like I wasn’t living here just yesterday. I shook my head and looked between him and the house, asking if I could come in without using my voice that had grown scratchy and hoarse. They would know immediately that something was wrong. Derek seemed hesitant but opened the door and let me into my old home. He closed the door behind me and it took no time for me to notice that there were no pictures of me on the walls like there used to be. It was like I had never existed. I shook off the hurt and looked back to see Derek had disappeared.
“Dominik,” I turned to see Dad, Donovan, and Derek standing together in front of me. I sigh and walk to the living room and watch as they follow me and sit on the couch across from the chair I’m sitting in.
“I saw mom today…” I blurted. I saw Dad blanch back and Donovan and Derek widened their eyes in shock. I sighed and subconsciously reach up and brush my fingers against the bruise on my cheek.
“What do you mean, Dominik?” Dad said after he had cleared his throat. I looked down and pulled my hand from my face that they were now looking at with wider eyes. I sigh and look back up at them.
“I went to the grocery store to get some food to put in my apartment and when I was about to go check out, I ran into her…” I trailed off, not wanting to finish. It’s two different things to know what you need to do and wanting to do it.
“Spit it out!” I jumped and flinched at Derek’s shout.
“She was with Doug Shayner…” I whisper out and fiddle with my fingers. “She... ,” I sigh and shake my head and tell them everything from the beginning, starting from when I had bumped into them. Once I was finished, my hand lightly brushed my bruised skin again. I looked at my brothers and my father who had their mouths open in shock. I sigh and get back up and walk back through my house and get back into my truck.
I rub my aching eyes and rest my head on the steering wheel for a second before darting my eyes to the time. I sighed and closed my eyes as my mind registered that it was already two in the morning. It was going to be about eight in the morning before I got back, but it’s not like I get good sleep anyway.
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Whoo!:)