Heartbreak (mxm)

Chapter Six: Dangerous Thoughts With Dangerous Locations

Dominik:

    I knew it was a bad idea, but I decided to drive the whole way. I knew that the chances of me falling asleep, but at this point, I couldn't find it in me to care. It's not like there was anybody that cared how I was or if I lived until tomorrow. My ex boyfriend probably never cared about me, my family blames me for my mother leaving us, and the only real best friend I had I pushed away and ignored for the most recent part of my life. I had nobody and now everyday is such a struggle that I can't help but wonder why I'm fighting so hard. I'm not doing it for myself, and I don't have anybody else to live for. Isaac would eventually move on if he hadn't already, and my visit to my old home proved that they were more than ready to forget about me.

And honestly, at this point, I just felt depressed and empty, but full of pain at the same time. When will things stop going wrong? I can't recover from one thing before something else happens, and I'm so tired of feeling like this.

First, the incident with him, then I lost my only true friend and I'm at fault, and I lost my mother - which was also my fault, then I ran into said mother and was confirmed of her hate for me. Then I went home to tell the rest of the family to tell them about the woman who used to be my mother, and found out that they've pretty much disowned me.

The truth is, if I left right now... I'd have nobody to care.

  With these dangerous truths in my head, and the more than convenient bridge I just so happened to be driving on... I finally decided to do something for myself for once.

I'm going to put myself out of my misery.

  It felt like a daze as I parked at the end of the bridge on the grass and got out, walking in the small area between the cement bridge wall and the road. I saw people start to watch, because I guess this was a cliche and overused way to go. It was the easiest though.

   I finally made it to the middle of the large bridge and looked over the edge. I didn't know how to feel as I looked at the huge distance to the water and knew that hitting the water from this height would be as if it were concrete down there. It makes no difference to me, though. I intend to die today anyway.

I always hated the thought of someone committing suicide. Especially when afterwards, you see the people that loved them dearly and their reaction. They had people that loved them and valued their live. Those people were so broken because someone was selfish and wanted to end it all. The difference with me, though, was that I would have absolutely nobody that was going to care . Everybody has made that clear. That was such a scary and depressing thought, and it was that that drove me to take the step to get up onto the wall, and getting ready to jump. It was then people really started to freak out.

I heard shouts and squealing tires as everyone at once realized that there was a guy about to commit suicide right in front of them.

I couldn't find it in myself to cry because I had done enough of that. There is no need for crying. No need for words. I couldn't have imagined where I am right now a year ago. Maybe not even six months ago. I didn't realize how much I had until it was all gone and I was left completely alone.

  I stood atop the wall, looking down at the rushing water and rocks and prayed that I'd be dead before I felt it. I heard the shouts get louder and I saw people walking over to where I was standing and knew I'd have to wrap this up. If I take too long, they'll be able to stop me. That's the one thing that I need to avoid happening.

"Son, you don't want to do this. Just take a minute to think-" I turned a little to look at the man with a creased forehead that was looking up at me with probably insincere worried eyes. Why would some stranger actually care about me? He shouldn't... I must've done something terrible to have all of this happen to me. I've reached my breaking point and boy have I broken...

  I just can't do this anymore. This is it for me.

  I went to step off the wall when a hand suddenly grabbed my shirt and roughly jerked me back. I gasped and felt dread and desperation flood into my body as I thrashed and tried to break the person's death grip on my torso and shoulder. The hugged me to their body from behind so I couldn't hurt them as easily, but desperate times call for desperate measures...

  "Unmmmmhhh" The person, who I just found out is a guy, groaned when I kicked him where it hurts, but to my dismay he didn't drop me or let me go. If anything, he tightened his grip around my torso. I hate this... Somebody I don't even know is trying to save me when what I'm trying to do will only benefit be and the people who used to be close to me.

"Let me go you no good piece of dog-" I squirmed and kicked, yelling and even trying to claw three guy's arm. This guy wouldn't budge at all.

"STOP, DOMINIK! JUST STOP!" I froze as I recognized the person's voice having a death grip on me. The one who pulled me of the bridge wall...

    "You're better off without, me! Why? I can't take it anymore, Isaac. Just let me do it!" At this point I was flinging my body everywhere in hopes of getting away from him and running of the edge while I still have the chance. I knew what was going to happen from here on out. He would be unbearably clingy and he'd want me to seek professional help blah, blah, blah. I don't want to be alive anymore.

"Dom- hey Dommy, listen to me," I immediately softened and slowed my movement at the sound of the very old nick name from our very early years of friendship. "You're my brother. I love you so much and it hurts me so much that you think that I would be about to live without you. I can't, Dom. I just can't. I thought you might need space before, but now I see that was a huge mistake on my part. I never gave up on you, ever. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Dommy... I won't ever leave you again. I promise. Please just come back with me and we will fix you. We will slowly sow you back together and you're heart will slowly heal and we'll be in college together. I'll never leave you again. Just please!" He cried out and I realized that he was close to sobbing on my shoulder as he continued to hug me tightly. I, myself, was crying and I grabbed his hand for comfort.

"Okay!" I cried and squeezed his hand,"Okay... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I thought you hated me! I was all alone and I couldn't live with it anymore!" I sobbed and turned in Isaacs arms to bury my face in his chest as I huddled myself to him as if to make myself disappear.

     "It's okay... It's okay, Dom. You're not alone anymore because you have me now. I'm so sorry I left you... I didn't mean to I swear. I love you."

    "I love you too, Isaac."