The small cupboard was plunged into darkness as the realisation that I was locked in finally started to set in.
I turned as much as possible in the confined space, knocking the basket of linen over and spilling it across the floor. My back pressed into one of the shelves as I grabbed hold of the door handle and twisted it towards me, pulling the door as hard as I could. It remained shut. Panic overtook me, and I tugged on the door handle several more times, hoping there had been some sort of mistake, but the door remained shut. Around my feet lay the discarded pillowcases and blankets, the small floor of the cupboard becoming nothing more than where I stood. I couldn't turn around, couldn't move, couldn't see.
Banging my fist as hard as I could on the door, I continued to tug at the door handle, to no avail. My heart pounded against my ribcage, threatening to burst out of my chest. The side of the hand ached the longer I banged it against the wood of the door, hoping that someone would hear me trapped inside. Panic gripped my entire body. My breathing started to shake and come out ragged and almost uncontrolled. I felt trapped. Isolated in the darkness of the cupboard with no way out, no matter how long or hard I wrapped my fist against the door.
After several minutes of hitting the door, I slumped back against the shelves, the wood digging in my back. I placed a hand on my chest and felt my heart beating rapidly, my breathing was still fast and ragged and nothing I could do could stop it. Beads of sweat dribbled down my forehead, the room feeling as though there was a roaring fire in the corner.
It felt like the walls were closing in.
I pushed my back off the shelves and leant my forehead against the cold wood of the door and continued knocking. The confined space swam and moved around me as sweat continued to dribble down my face. My breathing was coming out harder, my chest burned, my hand ached. After what felt like an eternity knocking my fist against the door, I slapped the palm of my hand against the wood, ignoring the pain that spread through my arm. The slap echoed through the small room and I felt any hope that someone would find me dissolve. Esther and Miss Jenkins were in the kitchen and the rest of the Ealing family were entertaining Mr Warrington and his son.
To relieve the heat, I removed my bonnet, running my fingers across the top of my head, collecting all of the loose hair as I went. I dropped the bonnet onto the floor and took a deep, shaky breath. My hands were shaking, and the room felt like it was swaying under my feet. Raising my hand for a second time, I slammed it against the door, ignoring the pain completely as I repeated the motion twice more, the sound echoing through the small space. As I lifted my hand to do it again, the echo of footsteps travelled towards me. The sound filled the room, slipping in through the small crack at the bottom of the door.
"Hello? Open the door!" I yelled, banging my fist.
"Rosie?" Esther's voice asked.
"Someone locked me in!" The panic was growing in my voice.
"Wait a second."
I took my forehead off the door, pressing my back into the shelves behind me as I listened to Esther fiddle around with the key until the click sounded and the door swung open. The moment the door was opened, the room was basked in the afternoon sun. I brushed passed Esther and into the hallway, collapsing back against the wall. Even though I had escaped the room, my breathing was still ragged, my hands were still shaking and sweat was still dribbling down the side of my face. Esther stood beside me, her lips were moving but I couldn't hear any sound. All I could hear was my own breathing and my heart hammering away inside of my chest, threatening to escape even though the threat had passed.
Sliding down the wall, I pulled my legs into my chest and placed my head against my knees, breathing into my dress. I ran my hands up and down my legs, hoping the movement would somewhat calm me down. It was a routine I had gotten myself into back at the factory, making myself as small as I possibly could and ignoring everything that was going on around me to focus entirely on my breathing and heart rate.
"Are you alright?" Esther asked, crouching down beside me. Her hand was placed lightly on my shoulder, but she did know more than that as if she knew that I had to calm myself down.
"Mm-hm."
"What on earth is going on here?" Matilda said. Beside me, I felt Esther remove her hand from my back and shoot up to a standing position. I remained on the floor, knowing I wasn't going to have the strength to stand up until I had calmed down.
"Someone locked Rosie in the linen cupboard," Esther replied, answering for me.
"So that's why he looked so smug," Matilda muttered.
"Who?"
"Alexander. Go and tell Miss Jenkins what has happened before she comes asking, I'll stay with Rosie until she calms down."
"If you're sure, Miss."
"Of course. Go. If you see either of my parents on your way back to the kitchen, don't tell them what has happened. I'll tell them. For now, just let Miss Jenkins know."
"Very well, Miss."
From my position on the floor, I heard Esther's footsteps retreat down the stairs and towards the kitchen. I barely looked up from my knees as I felt Matilda shift beside me as if she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing. Even in my stressed frame of mind, I knew that Matilda staying to help was an odd thing to happen, especially as she hadn't been the nicest towards me since I had arrived. But Esther was gone and there was no one else around, so I had to accept it, even if my mind was telling me that she was going to use against me in the future. Any help was better than no help.
"You can't stay here, come on."
Matilda placed her hand on the top of my arm and helped me to my feet, not even giving me a chance to fully collect my thoughts. She grabbed my bonnet from the bottom of the cupboard and lightly lead me down the hallway and towards her room. Not having the fight in me to protest, to try and convince her that I was completely fine – though that was far from the truth – I allowed her to steer me into her room and to the wooden chair in front of her desk. Once I was seated, Matilda's hand left my shoulder and I heard her footsteps retreat and the eventual sound of the door being shut, a sure sign that we were alone.
Sitting on the chair, I pressed the palms of my hands into my legs, running the back and forth in a calming, repetitive motion. My breathing had calmed considerably but nothing I did was able to control my heart rate, it felt as though it was out of control. Matilda was just hovering about the room like an annoying fly, not really knowing what she was doing. It didn't do me any good, but it was fun to hear her footsteps across the floor, pacing backwards and forwards as though looking for something to do. I appreciated the thought, more so then I thought I would have, but the endless pacing was becoming more irritating as time went by.
With Matilda's pacing starting to get on my last nerve, I chose to focus on the sound of her footsteps to try and calm the nervous feeling that was still bubbling away inside me. I listened to the echoing sound of her steps across the wooden floor, the way they would speed up and then slow down to an almost stop. It was a repetitive action and the continuous sound of her footsteps reminded me of a heartbeat. A slow, steady, repetitive action, that after a while, became soothing. The original annoyance I felt passed and the sound of her footsteps became the thing that calmed me down fully, brought my heart back into a normal rhythm. I never would have thought that one of Matilda's annoying habits would actually be useful.
"You can stop pacing, it's rather annoying," I said, glancing up from my lap.
"Sorry," Matilda said, coming to a stop. "Are you alright, now?"
"I think so. Evidently, I'm not a big fan of small spaces." I pushed my hair off my face and chuckled slightly, but not even a joke could have made the situation better.
"Hm, I wondered why Alexander was looking so smug earlier. I don't think I've ever seen that look on his face before, and if I have it wasn't for a good reason. Why on earth Father thinks he should be my sweetheart is beyond me, though once he hears about today I expect he will change his mind."
"Are they always like that? Mr Warrington and his son, I mean, or do they just have a hatred of me in particular?"
"Good question." Matilda crossed the room and perched herself on the edge. "Mr Warrington has never been a fan of servants, in fact, I'm more than certain he treats his own appallingly. He doesn't agree with the way Father is and how much he encourages us to be nice to Esther, Miss Jenkins and you. I don't think your arm helps your case too much, either. You're better off staying away from them, at least until they go to India."
"That was the plan, but none of my plans actually seem to work."
"I've noticed." Matilda practically glared at me as she spoke, the kindness leaving her within a matter of seconds.
I knew what she was referring to, it was written all over her face and I'm glad she didn't feel the need to spell it out. The way her expression changed so dramatically was all I needed to know she was referencing the conversation we had the previous day. It was as though a plan was set in motion then and there that I was to avoid Robert, she just made the declaration and walked away, barely even giving me the opportunity to respond. I had hoped that by offering to keep an eye on me, her perception had changed and that maybe, just maybe, she would be nice. It didn't look as though that was ever going to be a possibility, it was two steps forward and two steps back.
Pressing my palms into my knees, I didn't respond, not really knowing what to say in response to that. I took a deep breath and slumped back in the chair, my back pressing into the wood to the point that it started to hurt. There was something calming about the pain, it was almost relaxing in a strange sort of way, it took my mind off of the thoughts that were swirling uncontrollably through my head. It was a distraction from everything that was going on around me, a way to focus on something else other than what was unfolding right before my eyes. In the factory, the pain was the focus. It was the thing that we tried to take our minds off, it felt as though the roles had been reversed.
"I should get back to the kitchen, both Samuel and Miss Jenkins will be waiting for me," I said, pushing myself into a standing position and snatching my bonnet off the table
"Hm, as long as you're feeling better. I doubt Miss Jenkins will be in too much of a hurry to have you back unless you feel up to it."
"I'm fine, it was just a moment. Small spaces and I have never gotten on, despite my short size."
"Well, if you're sure, I won't keep you. Just stay out of the way of Alexander, if you see him, turn and walk the other way. He's not worth the hassle."
"Understood."
Matilda didn't respond, she just glanced at me from across the room, her hands moving along her bed. She brushed a strand of hair off her face and watched my every step as I crossed the room and slipped out the door, closing it behind me. The moment the door was shut, I could hear Matilda moving around inside, most likely moving the chair back to the desk or even trying to burn it, I wouldn't put it past her. Stuffing the bonnet onto my head, tucking loose strands of hair into it, I passed by the closet, stopping briefly to stuff the blankets and pillowcases onto the shelves, not caring if they looked a mess. Once my original task had been completed, I shut the door, locking it tightly and placing the key on top of the doorframe.
With the basket tucked under my arm, I moved quietly down the stairs and towards the kitchen, not wanting to be seen by anyone other than Miss Jenkins and Esther. I knew the family wouldn't have any idea of what had just happened, but I was more likely to bump into Alexander if I saw the rest of the family. I kept to the darker corners of the stairs and the hall until I was safely on the stairs that led to the kitchens, the single candle flickering on the wall. The low hum of a conversation between Esther and Miss Jenkins travelled up the stairs, but I was too far away to understand what they were saying.
Slowly, I moved down the stairs, trying not to alert them of my movement. It wasn't as though I was actively avoiding them, I just needed to build up the courage to speak to them after what had just happened. I had already upset Miss Jenkins with the sponge escapade in the garden, there was no doubt in my mind that the event in the linen cupboard was only going to add to my struggles. It may not have been my fault, but neither had the incident with the sponges. I wasn't ready to see the disappointed look on Miss Jenkins for the second time in only a matter of hours. Upsetting her once was bad enough, upsetting her again was hardly worth thinking about.
I slipped past the kitchen door and into the side room, placing the empty basket onto the floor next to the wall. The side room was dark except for the small window on the top wall which brought in what little light there was outside. Clouds had covered the sky, covering everything in an eerie dark grey, even the small room that housed no other light source. With the basket left against the wall, I decided to face the music, heading towards the kitchen. The conversation was still ongoing as I stood in the doorway, not even processing what was going on in the conversation. It didn't concern me, and I didn't want to add eavesdropping to the list of problems Miss Jenkins had with me.
"Rosie! Are you alright?" Esther asked, coming around the table to stand in front of me, her hands pressed against my shoulders.
"Fine. Small spaces are not my favourite things, I just needed five minutes to calm down," I said, shrugging it off. It was far worse than just not being a fan of small spaces, but I wasn't going to tell anyone that. There were some secrets better of kept, and this was one of them.
"Esther told me it was Master Alexander who locked you in, is that right?" Miss Jenkins asked, an eyebrow raised in my direction. Just by the look on her face, I knew she didn't believe me or believe the idea that I just happened to get locked in when I was supposed to be working.
"Miss Matilda believes so, she said he was looking rather pleased with himself when he returned to the drawing room, not long before she came upstairs."
"So, no one saw him lock you in?"
"Not as far as I know, I was just putting the laundry away when the door locked, and I haven't known keys to turn on their own."
"Well, let's not go around making accusations, shall we? For all we know, it could have been an accident. If you're feeling better, you can go and get the laundry off the line, it looks as though it may rain soon, and I'd rather have it dry by the brazier then out in the rain."
"Yes, Miss Jenkins."
"Take this, it's freezing," Esther said, removing her shawl and handing it over to me.
Smiling slightly towards Esther, I took the shawl from her outstretched arm and wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling it closer into my chest as I left the kitchen and stepped out into the grounds. The moment I stepped outside, a gust of wind caught me and almost pushed me over, but I caught myself on the doorframe before I fell. I pulled Esther's shawl tighter around my chest and took the gravel path at a run, keeping my head down in an attempt to stop my bonnet from being snatched off my head. I reached the fenced off part of the grounds just before the rain started to fall, a lucky break for once.
Fighting against the wind, I opened the gate and entered the small garden. The basket was still against the wall, pressed into the ground by the small tub of pegs that were weighing it down. I kicked the basket along the ground, not wanting to risk it taking off in the wind the moment I took the pegs out. Acting fast, I started to unpeg all of the laundry, dropping it into the basket against the wind. Every piece of cloth looked as though it was going to be snatched out of my hand and blown across the garden. I was fighting a battle against the wind, and I was winning. By the time I had unpegged all of the laundry, it was still remarkably cloudy overhead, but the rain had yet to start, giving me the slightest bit of hope that things might turn out alright.
Unfortunately for me, life always appears to have other plans. Tucking the basket under my arm, I forced open the gate against the wind and started down the gravel path, the stones crunching under my boots. The wind was still strong, out of control and growing stronger with every passing minute. Even with the basket tucked tightly under my arm, the laundry threatened to go flying across the grounds. Reaching the kitchen door, my grip on the basket slipped as I tried to push it open as well as keep the laundry inside. A small handkerchief flew off the top of the basket and took off down the grounds, the wind pulling it along.
Pushing open the kitchen door, I left the basket just inside and shut it again, taking off across the grounds in search of the handkerchief. The wind pulled at every direction, pulling tendrils of hair from my bonnet, blocking my vision as I tracked the path the wind was taking my bonnet. As I crossed the grounds, rain started to fall, just adding to my ongoing worries. Reaching the front of the house, I saw a large dark shadow amongst the grey sky. It stood stock still against the crazy winds and the darkened sky, something held tightly in its hand. I approached them tentatively, even against the crazy wind I took one step at a time, not really knowing who was on the other side of the grounds.
"Dropped something have we?"
~~~
A/N - And we are back to our regular weekly updating after the special update last week! To top off these spectacular few days, we hit 3K! It's been less than a month since we hit 2K, so this is insane! I owe you guys so much and this has been a great birthday present (my birthday's not until Thursday, but ya know xD
So, question time! Who do you think locked Rosie in the cupboard and why is she so afraid of them? Do you think it's the same person at the end? What about Miss Jenkins? Is she right to be the way she is?
Comment below!
Dedication - This chapter is dedicated to MaryFahey who believed that we would hit the 3K goal, even when I didn't think we would! She's so supportive and I love her :D Check her out!
First Published - February 5th, 2019