A/N: SONG OF THE DAY: “Where Are You Now” by Union J
“Wait, what?” I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.
“Please don’t make me say it again. It’s hard enough for me to admit already,” Michael complained, playing with his sleeves. “It just feels so weird to say out loud.”
“What makes you think you’re in love with Ashton?” I asked, walking over to the couch to sit down. Michael sat down beside me, taking a deep breath.
“I don’t know,” he rubbed his eyes. “All I know was that when Ashton was talking to us and he looked at us sadly, I saw him in a different light. I didn’t look at him like I would look at you or Calum. I couldn’t look in his eyes because I would get...urges I shouldn’t be getting.”
“Urges like what?”
“Oh you know; wanting to kiss him. Wanting to hold him. Wanting to be the one to cheer him up when he’s sad, and wanting to be the one that makes him laugh when he’s about to cry. I want to lay next to him at night. I know this sounds cheesy but, I’m being honest here.”
“I just have one question,” I leaned forward. “When did you realize your feelings?”
“I always felt that something separated you and Calum from Ashton, but I didn’t know what. I never really bothered to realize exactly what it was that separated you guys, so I guess I didn’t know before. But I always looked at him in awe. I always admired him and I felt like I would do anything just to see his eyes light up with joy. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah but, you didn’t really answer my question.” I reminded him, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a quick moment.
“I don’t know I guess that in a way, I’ve always felt some sort of attraction towards him. I guess it started when we first met him, but my attraction to him wasn’t strong enough for me to even notice. Why do you ask?”
“I was just curious,” I awkwardly shuffled my feet. “Are you going to tell him how you feel?”
“Probably not. I don’t want things to be awkward between us, and I’m not even one hundred percent sure that I want to be with him. I’ve never dated a guy before, you know.”
“He might feel the same way, though.”
Michael let out a bitter chuckle. “I highly doubt it.”
A few moments later, both Ashton and Calum came walking downstairs. Ashton had finally stopped crying, but his eyes were still red, and his cheeks were still stained with tears. Ashton looked at Michael, but Michael only avoided his gaze and walked out of the room. I looked up at Calum, and he only shrugged his shoulders at me.
“Are you okay, Ashton?” I asked.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, biting at his bottom lip before nodding. “M’fine. I guess I was being too dramatic. It just hurt my feelings. This whole thing doesn’t make sense.”
“Don’t take it personally. He’s not talking to anyone right now—it’s not just you he’s ignoring. Right, Luke?” Calum turned to me, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.
“Right. He hasn’t said a word to me.” I know that it’s wrong of me to lie, but just to spare Ashton’s feelings, I felt like I had to tell them Michael was still ignoring me.
“See, Ashton? There’s nothing to worry about. Michael handles his personal issues by taking his anger or sadness out on other people. Growing up with him, he’s always done that. He always kept to himself, yet punished other people when he was upset with himself. That’s a quality I absolutely cannot stand in him. You’d think he would have grown out of it by now.”
“I think I just need a distraction of some sort,” Ashton told us. “I think I’m going to go downstairs and work a little bit more on the song Michael and I started.”
That left Calum and I alone once again, and we weren’t exactly standing here in a comfortable silence. He shuffled his feet, messing with his hair a few times before eventually meeting my gaze.
“I feel awful for Ashton.” I broke the silence.
“Me too. Michael has really been pissing me off lately. I wonder what’s bothering him.”
“Yeah, I wonder.” I responded, hoping I sounded convincing. I knew that it was none of my business to tell Calum about Michael’s interest in Ashton that was bothering him, so I kept my mouth shut.
“I feel like I just need to drive around for a little while. Just to clear my mind. Maybe I’ll get a coffee or something,” Calum stated, walking over towards the side table and picking up his car keys. “Wanna keep me company, Luke?”
I smiled. “I’d like that. But shouldn’t we tell the others where we are going?”
Calum shook his head. “Nah. Ashton needs time to himself, and Michael isn’t even acknowledging our existence. Let’s not waste our breath.”
With that, he opened the door and made sure that he looked it behind us before we went out. As we walked towards the car, I started to feel incredibly nervous. It was now occurring to me that we’d left Ashton and Michael alone with each other.
But what was I to do? I couldn’t convince Calum to stay home without telling him the truth about Michael talking to me and telling me a secret earlier. I couldn’t face Ashton because I would probably end out saying the wrong thing, and he’s already an emotional wreck. So, I just swallowed my guilt and my worries so I could allow myself to spend time with Calum.
The dark haired boy flashed me a smile, his hands placed on the wheel. “Ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I replied. Before I knew it, we were on our way to drive around, drink some coffee, and talk about nothing.
[x]
“Do you take milk in your coffee?” Calum asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah.”
“Here, let’s get a booth.” Calum grabbed ahold of my wrist, leading me over to where he wanted to sit. We made sure not to spill the coffee, and then he crawled into the seat directly across from me.
“It’s a good thing there are only old people in here that won’t recognize us,” I pointed out, causing Calum to laugh a little.
“Don’t jinx it, Luke.” He told me, and I couldn’t help but smile. Calum kept his hand secured around his coffee cup, but he wasn’t ready to drink it just yet. “So, since we are a ‘couple,’ does that make this a date?”
“I believe so,” I smirked. “That would make this our ‘first date’ then, huh?”
“Right.” He chuckled. “Do you think I can drink this yet, or do you think if I try I might burn myself?”
“I put a lot of milk in mine so I shouldn’t have that problem. But if I were you, I would take small sips.” I advised him, raising my coffee up to my lips.
“Okay but if I burn myself, it’s on you,” he told me, warily holding his cup up to his lips. He took one small sip and he looked fine, so he drank some more without the fear of burning himself preventing him from it.
“I told you it would be fine,” I smiled with my teeth, purposely being cheesy.
“You’re such a dork. Remind me again why I’m friends with you?” He laughed, and I did, too.
“Because you’re dorkier.”
“You’re dorkiest,” he remarked.
“You’re more dorkiest!” I chuckled, and he only laughed harder.
“That’s not even a thing, Luke. Gosh, get some control of your grammar.” He sassed me, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smirk at him.
“I didn’t realize someone called the grammar police,” I shoved his shoulder jokingly. “No but seriously, when did you become all proper?”
“If you’re going to be sassy, you have to be right.” He blinked proudly, leaning back against the booth. He crossed his arms, smirking at me. “Does that make sense to you? Or should I make it ‘more easier’ for you?”
I rolled my eyes when I realized he was making fun of my grammar. I laughed. “You’re playing a dangerous game here, Hood.”
“Am I?” He smirked, grabbing a straw and pulling the wrapper off. He winked at me, twirling the wrapper in between his fingers.
“Yes,” I bit my lip, and we both started laughing at our failed attempt to be serious. Calum took another sip of his coffee, licking his lips afterwards.
“What are you writing?” I heard Calum’s voice ringing in my ears suddenly, and Iooked up at him. I hadn’t even realized that I was writing down lyrics on our receipt. Calum continued to stare at me, a questioning look in his eyes.
“Just some song lyrics I thought of,” I answered, “nothing important.”
“Can I see it?”
“It’s not important, so no,” I told him, but he just continued to stare at me as if he was hoping that I might change my mind.
“Luke I really want to see what you wrote. You’re really good at putting thoughts into words and I just want to see what you’ve come up with.”
I sighed, sliding the receipt over to him. “Fine, but I’m telling you, it’s not good at all.”
I wrote down the lines: life’s a tangled web of cellphone calls and hashtag I-don’t-knows. And you, you’re so caught up in all the blinking lights and dial tones.
“How do you come up with these? They’re amazing!” Calum smiled at me, and I felt myself blushing at his compliment.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Calum it’s nothing.”
“No, it’s something alright,” he smiled. “We have to show this to Michael and Ashton when we get back. Well, not Michael because he’s ignoring us. Just Ashton, then.”
[x]
“Hey Ash, how are things with Michael?” I asked Ashton whenever Calum and I had gotten home. The pained expression on Ashton’s face said it all, and I instantly felt bad for asking.
“If he’s mad at me, I wish he would at least tell me what I did. What did I do wrong, Luke? Is there something wrong with me?” Ashton randomly blurted, visible sadness in his voice.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Ashton. Don’t ever say that.” I told him, and he just wiped his eyes.
“Then what is it? Why does Michael hate me?”
“He doesn’t hate you.” He loves you, I said in my head. “Please don’t take it out on yourself. Michael’s just pushing everyone away right now, but trust me when I say that this will pass.”
“If you’re sure,” he sniffled, putting his headphones back into his ears. “I’m just going to listen to music now. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”
I nodded, though I didn’t fully believe him whenever he said he’d be fine. I heard Green Day bleeding from his headphones, and it was pretty loud, too. He must be trying to drown himself out of his thoughts.
When I walked upstairs, I noticed Calum waiting at the top. He motioned for me to come towards him, and then he asked me to hand him the receipt from earlier.
“We’re definitely going to have to include these lyrics in a song,” Calum told me, excitement in his voice. “We just need music for behind it now. What did you have in mind for this song? Did you imagine it fast or slow?”
“I haven’t really thought about it. Like I said, I didn’t even realize I was writing down lyrics.” I reminded him, and he only sighed.
I heard footsteps coming from down the other end of the hallway, and I knew it had to be Michael. Calum didn’t want to speak to Michael, so he told me to go into his room and close the door behind us. This whole situation was just plain childish.
“That was close,” he took a deep breath.
I nodded in response, although I didn’t think Michael was someone worth hiding from. “I think I want the song to not be fast or slow in the verses, but the chorus should be pretty slow. What do you think about that?”
He nodded, staring at the lyrics more. “Yeah, I could see that.”
“Would you like to help me write some more lyrics?”
Calum smiled. “Let’s do this!”
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A/N: Wow that was horrible.
I feel like these chapters are so incredibly suckish. I mean, is it just me? If you happen to actually like this (( probably not )) then please vote/comment/fan?
I LOVE YOU ALL XXX