June; 2014
They are now on nickname basis.
She told him to call her MiMi; that no one calls her that, but it's always been a nickname she wanted someone to call her by. NamJoon was more than obliged to have the honor and in return told her to call him Joon.
And that's about where they are right now.
Affiliation wise; not physically.
Physically, they are sitting in the corner of the bookstore again. The tight space isn't enough for both of them, but they still manage to squish together.
NamJoon has long legs. He's aware of the limits of his extensive proportions and knows he can only cram so much of his legs between the bookshelves.
His frame is also significantly larger than JungMi's and requires more room to take up. Cramming his body between the bookshelves leaves so little space for JungMi herself, but she never complained about his company in the past few months that they've been meeting here.
“I never really liked my legs.” JungMi exasperates as she stretches out her legs to their full extent. Her legs lined up next to NamJoon's, sprawled out parallel to the shelves.
Even when she points out her toes, her legs barely reach NamJoon's ankles. He finds it cute the way she shuffles her feet because she's self-conscious about the length of her legs in comparison to his.
“Why? They look fine to me.” NamJoon reassures her, but she only nods absentmindedly. Her focus remains on her shoes as she moves her feet back and forth like windshield wipers.
“They’re too short. I wish they were longer.” She whines.
NamJoon chuckles as he stretches his legs, which had become stiff from sitting on the ground.
JungMi follows his lead and stretches her legs out, trying to extend them to be the same length as his, “How do you get such long legs?”
“Well, I don't think huddling in the corner is helping.” NamJoon teases as he holds onto the bookshelves for support as he stands up.
He waits for feeling to return to his legs after sitting on them for so long. His cheeks become warm when he notices JungMi examining his legs, scanning them up and down for their full length. She consciously runs her hands along the length of her own legs and notices how they get cut short in comparison to his.
NamJoon smiles at her antics before bending down to her height, so that they are eye to eye and she won't be focused on or intimidated by his height.
JungMi lifts her head and stops rubbing her legs consciously when she sees NamJoon's eyes crease from the tug of his smiling lips.
“C’mon! Let's go put those legs to work!” His eyes brighten up at the prospect of taking her on an adventure.
His childlike excitement entices her to agree with his unknown plans. Although the destination is unknown, JungMi mirrors his excitement.
=====
JungMi had let NamJoon guide her by the hand out of the bookstore and towards Gyeongbokung station. She let him pull her by the hand to board a bus taking them all the way to the other side of the city to eastern Seoul. She even let him drag her through Ttukseom Han River Park before stopping at a biking trail.
“This really isn't a good idea…” JungMi trails off as NamJoon returns from a Rent-A-Bike station holding a bicycle by the handles and steering it towards her. The wheels on the transport make a clicking sound with each rotation, almost in order to taunt her. She feels her initial excitement starting to dwindle.
The size of the bike seems to suit NamJoon more so than herself; she doubts she'll even be able to reach the seat. Even if she manages to mount the bike somehow, she's uncertain whether her legs are long enough to actually reach the pedals or not.
NamJoon isn't oblivious to her sudden shift in willingness, “Do you not know how to ride a bike?”
“It was never a concern of mine…” JungMi hisses through gritted teeth and stands timid in front of the bike, as if NamJoon is introducing an untamed beast that may lash out at her if he were to let go of the handles.
He parks the bike in place, “Here, I'll teach you.”
JungMi chews on her bottom lip in anticipation as NamJoon ushers her over.
He guides her by the hand towards the awaiting bicycle. How she ended up here is beyond her comprehension.
She mounts the bike, with assistance from NamJoon, and grips the handles for dear life. Her knuckles become visibly white from her iron grip.
NamJoon lectures her, “The secret to learning how to ride a bike is to never stop pedalling.”
He lifts the bike stand and takes over the task of keeping JungMi upright, “The best way to keep your balance is to never stop. When you stop is when you fall over.”
JungMi doesn't look convinced. NamJoon hums in thought, “If it helps, you can think of it as a metaphor for life.”
JungMi stares at him in disbelief, “Are you saying learning how to ride a bike is comparable to a life lesson?”
NamJoon smiles and shrugs, “More or less.” He glances towards the extent of the bike trail, checking for any possible obstacles, “Just an analogy for whatever motivates you to keep going.”
Her laugh embodies her nervousness, “I can't believe you're teaching me a life lesson right now.” JungMi unwinds her fingers from the handles and stretches them out to get rid of the stiffness, “And I can't believe I'm actually doing this.”
NamJoon tries to ease her into it, “Okay, imagine that the one thing you want most in life, the thing that motivates you to keep going, is constantly ahead of you, but you can't reach it. Then just start pedalling to it.” He checks to make sure her feet are on the pedals, “If you stop, that thing will leave you behind.”
JungMi scoffs, “That's one way to put it---”
“Enough complaining,” NamJoon rests one hand at the small of her back and the other on top of her hand on the handle, “More pedalling!”
JungMi is too focused on the warmth of his hands on her that she forgets to start pedalling when he starts pushing the bike. The initial start is summarized in a flurry of chaos and a struggle for dominance over the two-wheeler. Her feet lose contact with the pedals as they begin to move on their own with the rotation of the wheels. NamJoon helps steady her as she battles to keep balance and to catch up with the movement of the pedals.
NamJoon travels alongside her while pushing her forward to keep the momentum of the bike consistent. He's chanting encouraging words in her ear the whole way, “That's it!... You got this!... Nothing to it!”
Knowing he's beside her and the warmth of his hands gives her a sense of security.
However, the security reveals itself to be false when NamJoon removes his hands with a final push.
He cups his now free hands around his mouth, “Don't stop pedalling!” He calls out after her.
JungMi doesn't look back. Her destination is uncertain, but she can see the one thing she wants most in life straight ahead, just as NamJoon described it.
She pedals towards it just as he told her to. She chases it down; pursuing it with determination. She can't see it clearly from where she is, but she is guided by a gut feeling that tells her which direction to go.
Controlling the handle bar becomes much easier the faster she pedals. She maneuvers around others on the biking trail, probably breaking the speed limit for bikes in the process.
The wind slaps against her skin, causing her jet black hair to blow in her face in bundles. The air she intakes feels as though it's forcing its way down to her lungs, clawing at her throat in the process with sharp, needle-like chills.
She feels the energy compressed at her core trickling down to her legs, which are moving rapidly as she races against the Han River. Her legs feel like they are as long as the river is wide.
Her laugh is picked up by the wind and carried away until it is behind her; until all of her worries are behind her. She continues on the path set before her.
She steers the handles to smoothly turn the curve of the loop trail as she circles back around.
What an experience; to feel the adrenaline rush of the first bike ride. To feel the wind push against her as she does something she never did before.
The one thing she wants most in life is straight ahead…
… And then suddenly he is standing there, waiting for her.
As she gets closer and closer to him, she realizes that NamJoon was wrong; there's really a point at which she needs to stop.
NamJoon kept talking smack about how she should ‘keep going’ and ‘never stop pedalling’ that he never got to the part about how to brake.
Does she stop pedalling now?
JungMi's pedalling falters in the split second she thinks this, and she finds herself losing control of the two-wheeled savage.
Her feet cannot reach the ground for stability; her legs, once again, feel too short. Yet, she's too scared to fall over either, so she's left on an untamed bike that's moving on it's own from the momentum she provided.
Her feet hang awkwardly to the sides of the bike, not knowing where to rest. The pedals graze against her ankles as they continue to turn the wheels on their own accord. The bike swerves side to side from her hands shaking on the handles.
NamJoon takes notice of the aberrant veer as JungMi starts to stray off the trail.
His eyes widen in recognition before he hustles towards her on long legs, taking long strides.
“Stop the pedals!” NamJoon yells at the top of his lungs, “Put your feet on the ground!”
JungMi tries to do as he says, but the ground seems so far away. As she stretches her leg to the solid ground, her toes skimming over the top of the fluffy, green grass, the bike tips over from the fluctuation of weight.
In the split second she registers that she's falling over, she tells herself that the grass doesn't seem too bad; it might be a decent padding to catch her fall. She releases her grip on the handles and feels featherlight as her body transitions into free fall.
Something catches her midair; a pair of warm hands and a familiar sense of security.
In the arms of an angel, she allows him to lift her from the seat and cradle her to his chest like a cocoon.
The force of motion from the bike repels them backwards into the cushion of grass. They tumble to the ground in an ungraceful manner, yet JungMi could be told she's in heaven and she would be completely persuaded. They roll over as one giant, conjoined mass, before finally landing on NamJoon's back. His arms are wrapped around her waist protectively, and holds her close to his chest even though she's already safe.
From one ear, JungMi can hear the bicycle crashing to the ground not too far away. In the other ear, she can hear the erratic drumming of his heartbeat.
NamJoon huffs and blows her hair, which had splayed across his face upon landing, out of his mouth. He lifts one of his hands up to push away JungMi's hair which was tickling his neck. She shuts her eyes from the embarrassment; she's never wanted to shave her head more than in this moment…
The surface beneath her cheek starts to rumble and a hearty chuckle from deep under the surface echoes in her ear. She opens her eyes to see that NamJoon's chest is rising and falling under her head as he begins to laugh deliriously.
“Do you have two left feet or something?” He manages to say between gasps for air.
JungMi unknowingly buries her face into his chest further, “Two right feet, actually…”
They both burst into a delirious hilarity with the fallen over bicycle as their witness.
=====
Walking beside NamJoon is much different than sitting beside him.
In the bookstore, they can bask in each other's presence. In there, time is still; nothing indicates the passing of time except the sunlight that seeps through the window.
In Ttukseom, they move along with time. At the park, time moves like the Han River and the pair mount a boat to flow with the current.
One thing is for sure: time is relative no matter where they are. When they are paired together, they become separate from reality; lost in a world of curiosity and comprehension. They see the world differently; together and apart. Earth seems to turn on its axis depending on when they are together.
When sitting down, height isn't a major concern. But walking accentuates the height difference between them; his legs are alarmingly long. JungMi finds that two of her strides equals one of his. But the scenery is too great a distraction from her worries.
They walk alongside each other next to the Han River, enjoying the glittery reflection of the sunset as it hits the water. Such beauty can move the souls of artists, which then inspires them to produce art; art which encompasses the beauty the artists want people to experience with them.
That's how JungMi feels; she feels inspired. This new environment incites her need to create poetry, with the beauty of Ttukseom as her subject. Bringing her here could be considered NamJoon's way of sharing a hidden gem; sharing his secret to overcoming writer's block.
“Do you come here often?” JungMi inquires.
“Not as often as you go to the bookstore,” NamJoon teases, “but yes, I visit here often.”
They stop and lean against the railing overlooking the water. The city seems so far from where they are; the buildings seem to be sprouting up from the horizon. They take this moment to admire the colors of the sunset before they fade away.
How can the sun be setting already?
They both focus intensely on the shades of yellow, orange, and pink. They don't glance at each other at all, since they know neither of them would leave from this sight for the world.
“Einstein said that 'time is relative.’” JungMi nods in thought, “I think I understand what he meant now.”
“I have my own opinion on the matter,” NamJoon adds, “but it might be different from yours.”
“In that case, I believe that our day went by slowly… but in a good way,” JungMi ponders out loud, “Compared to reality, time moved slower for us when we were enjoying our day. Unlike the people around us, it feels like we have all the time in the world in this moment.”
“Strange…” NamJoon glances at the pigmented leaves drooping from the trees above where they stand. The sunlight makes the chlorophyll of the leaves glow golden.
When he first met JungMi, there were no warm colors across the sky and no green leaves adorning the trees. It was much colder than right now.
Had time really passed right before his eyes?
“... I disagree with you.” NamJoon sighs, “I feel the complete opposite of you.”
JungMi breaks her trance from the sunset. She turns to NamJoon, “How so?”
“I met you in winter, but it's already summer… There were no leaves in the trees when we first met, then flowers blossomed during spring as we got to know each other, and now the park is full of green scenery as I stand here with you.” NamJoon puts his observations into words.
He looks up to the sky like he is used to doing, “Seasons come and go… And just seeing how Ttukseom has changed over time reminds me of how far we've come…”
A light breeze passes between them, but it is enough to blow JungMi's hair across her face, concealing her features. NamJoon remembers how her shiny, charcoal bob cut used to be the only thing he saw of her; he remembers how she lowered her head to hide her face from him when she passed by him.
But now she's comfortable enough with him to lift her head, to push her hair behind her ears so that he can see the apples of her cheeks and her big, doe like eyes.
“It feels like just yesterday I saw you sitting in the corner, yet here we are…” NamJoon flashes his dimples, “It feels like time goes by faster with you.”
JungMi looks up to him with esteem, thinking through what NamJoon has shared.
“So in conclusion,” JungMi nods and turns back to the sunset for a moment of reflection, “Time is relative. It's different for everyone.”
NamJoon turns his body back to the horizon, but his eyes are set on her, “I think the most important factor in the theory is how you spend that time and with who.”
JungMi hums in understanding, “Since you come so often, how do you spend your time here at Ttukseom Park?”
He looks out over the river, “When something troubles me, I come here to take in the nature overlooking the Han River… Take in the scenery."
NamJoon continues, “I have no driver's license, so I just ride a bicycle beside the Han River. That's what I really love because no one gives a damn about me for that moment. I feel so free.”
JungMi understands; she understands better than anyone. It's all a simple analogy: JungMi is to the Daeo Bookstore like NamJoon is to Ttukseom.
She runs her hand through her hair, “Sounds poetic.”
NamJoon chuckles, “It definitely stimulates something that makes me become poetic.”
JungMi understands how stimulating these surroundings can be. It's much different from the bookstore, just like how NamJoon's mind is much different from her own.
"Once, on such a solitary trip, I was hit with inspiration and I wrote down the lyrics on the spot. There were sounds of people clapping and the subway train rolling away, and I recorded those sound bites, too, thinking they would later make into the song." NamJoon recalls.
“Have you used them in a song yet?” JungMi asks.
“Not yet, but I will.”
“Will I be able to listen to it?”
“Someday, yes…” He watches as the sky grows dimmer and fading of color, “But for now, let's just let time pass.”
JungMi always thought that the bookstore was a preservation of time in which time seems to not move. Maybe she was wrong.
It's not the bookstore which makes time relative, but rather, the pair who sit in the corner that makes time relative wherever they are. That includes the bookstore and even the sunset at Ttukseom.