He heard a light tap on his window, lifting his head up to watch his best friend's tiny body climb through his bedroom window, landing with a bounce on top of his bed.
Her hair glistened with raindrops and her clothes were now see-through from the water. It never rained in California, and even when it did, it wasn't even enough to make a difference, but tonight it seemed as if God was trying to cleanse the world of something.
She didn't say anything, walking to his closet and grabbing out a big t-shirt and a pair of his underwear, ripping her dripping clothes off, throwing them into his laundry basket, then slipping on the oversized boxer-briefs and shirt - both of them drowning her body in their much bigger size.
She kicked off her shoes to the side of the room, grabbing a pair of Sean's socks and pulling them onto her feet before walking towards him and slipping into his bed, pulling the covers over their bodies once she was cuddled in next to him.
Sean's eyes traced her face, noticing the slight darkness that was beginning to appear under her eyes. "He did it again?"
She nodded at him, slighting shrugging her shoulders, as to indicate that is wasn't that big of a deal. He shook his head at her actions, sighing as he spoke, "I hate that you have to live there with him."
"It is only for a couple more months and then I will be eighteen. I can handle it."
"You shouldn't have to handle it."
This was a tradition at this point, he almost expected the slightly younger girl to slip through his window at least a couple times a week. It was almost the same routine - she would come to his house, stepping on the pot that sat under his window to boost herself up, plopping herself onto his bed then grabbing his clothes and slipping in next time to him on the bed.
Sometimes they would watch Friends, other times she would watch intently as Sean's fingers strummed his guitar, other times they would just fall asleep entangling themselves into each other. Mostly though, they would talk, for hours and hours until the city lights that lit the world from the nighttime darkness was replaced with the sun that was rising.
Sean would listen as she talked about just how bad her home was, wrapping his arms around her when tears spilled out of her eyes. They would ramble on and on, daydreaming about the day they both would become adults, Sean promising that they would move to Los Angeles together, leaving her sucky life behind.
They've been best friends forever - Sean being the first and only person she ever told about her family and how fucked up they were. Her mom constantly traveling for her job, leaving her alone with her stepdad who constantly came home drunk. Her siblings already moved out, leaving her alone to deal with his constant abuse.
He would come home after hours at the bar, making his way towards her room, where he would knock hard on her door before barging in. He sometimes would use her body as a way to get out his frustrations with life, other times he would try to have his way with her.
Most times she would hear the door slam and his footsteps as he walked down the hallway towards her room, in which she would climb out her window and run to Sean's house who lived next to her.
Other times, she wasn't so lucky.
And when this happened, she would usually hide out in her bedroom for days, not showing up for school and not answering anybody's calls or texts. Sean knew what this meant. So he would rush to her house, barging into her room to see the small girl laying in her bed, eyes staring at the wall.
His body would always rake with relief to see her still breathing and he would walk towards her, climbing in beside her and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her into his body. Something about being with him made her feel safe and she would burst into tears, her mouth releasing sobs as he whispered apologies into her hair for allowing him to hurt her again.
It happened like this every time.
Sean wanted to protect her, to run to the police and tell them all the ways that man would put his hands on her soft skin, but Kaycee would beg him not to. Telling him that it would do more damage than good, that it was her word against his.
He was a cop, nobody would ever believe them. If her own mom didn't believe her, there was no hope that anybody else would.
So all he could do was try and prevent things before they happened and be there for her when things did.
Her curly, dark hair spread across his pillows, soaking them. She rubbed her sock covered feet down his leg trying to reassure him that she was fine. But she wasn't. He knew that. They both knew that. She wasn't okay but she could handle it.
"What happened tonight?"
"The usual, he came home drunk but I left before he could do anything." Her voice came out soft, her warm breath coming in contact with his skin as she spoke.
He could see the numbness in her eyes as she spoke, the actions of her stepdad not even bothering her anymore. That scared him.
He was scared that she would start to believe that she deserved it. That every word that man spits at her was true, that every punch and kick he threw was her fault, and that her body was never truly hers - she was just there to be the punching bag for other people.
He would do everything in his power to make sure that she never thought like that. But he never could never truly tell what she was thinking, and even when she did tell him, he could tell she was sugarcoating it, trying to appear strong.
"Do you want to go on a drive?"
"Can we just lay here for a sec?" Her voice whispered, her dark eyes watching him as he nodded at her.
Her body flipped around, her back pushing into his chest as his fingers ran through her long hair.
*****
The city was unusually quiet that night, only a few cars roaming through it. The two best friends sat in silence as the rain fell from the sky, hitting the car with huge drops of water, the song, when the party's over by Billie Eilish, getting disrupted by rain.
Kaycee's feet rested on the dashboard, making her knees stick out towards her face, tapping on them with the rhythm of the music. Sean stared at the road ahead of them, the stoplights getting blurred through the rain.
"Do you ever wonder if anything we do will ever actually matter?" She spoke, her voice breaking the silence. "I mean, the earth is so big, and I can't even comprehend the size of the universe - I want to achieve so many things and make a difference in this world, but is that even possible? In the whole grand scheme of things, my life probably doesn't even matter, I am just one person who will only be alive for like eighty years and then life will continue on without me. And after a couple of years pass, the memories of me will be gone and so will I." She paused, taking a breath and staring straight through the windshield. "So is it even possible to do something that actually matters?"
Sean's eyes glance at the dark-haired beauty beside him every couple seconds as she speaks. He gets lost in her words, in her mind. Wondering to himself how it was even possible that he got so lucky to see a glimpse into her.
"You matter to me."
Her eyes hit the side of his head as those words came out of his mouth, a small smile creeping onto her face.
His eyes dart to meet hers, returning her smile before looking back towards the road and continuing to talk. "I don't think it is about making a difference in the grand scheme of things, it is about making a difference now. Making sure that every moment in our lives we are growing to become the people we want to be. Making sure that we are changing people's lives, one by one."
He pauses, as a way to gather his thoughts, "It is about right now. Cause maybe nothing we do will matter in the future. But it matters now. Me and you." His fingers reach down to tickle her leg softly. "You don't ever have to worry if you matter, Kayc, because you matter to me. You are the one person in this entire world who matters to me."
The car fills with silence again as they come to a red light. Sean feels soft hands come into contact with his cheeks, turning his head so he was looking at her. He looks in her brown eyes the green specks in them shining with the tears that threatened to spill out.
Her fingers tapped under his chin and she gently pushed her lips onto his. Nothing else mattered in that moment. It was Sean and Kaycee. Nobody else. Their mouths explored each other - two people, two best friends, connecting to each other through their kisses.
A honk interrupted their moment, making the two slowly pull apart, Sean's eyes quickly facing the road, and stepping on the gas when he noticed the green light. Kaycee's eyes, however, wavered on the side of his face, taking in all of his features.
"You should just stay at my house."
Her eyebrows furrowed at his words. "We've been through this before, Shamu, your parents would know something was up if I never went home."
"They already know something is up, Kayc, you are there every morning, they know you spend the night. They've asked me about it before but I just told them that your parents travel and you don't want to be alone."
"That technically isn't lying." She joked trying to change the subject but he wasn't having it.
"I'm serious, let's go get your stuff right now, you can stay in my room with me." He spoke, looking at her as she just shook her head at his words. "This has happened long enough, Kayc, I can't continue to watch him destroy you. You don't deserve it."
"It is what it is."
"Stop saying that!" He says frustrated, turning the corner and pulling over towards the sidewalk. "That's not true, we could stop this from happening, I could stop this. I'm done, Kaycee. I don't care if you hate me, it is better than letting him get away with everything he has done."
"You don't understand - " She tried to speak, arguing with his words, but he just cut her off.
"Please don't make me have to choose between protecting you and losing you or watching as he hurts you and being there to pick up the pieces. I have nothing to lose because I'm pretty sure they will both end up with the same outcome. Either I lose you but you are away from that asshole or he kills you. Don't make me lose you, Kayc."
Tears drop from his eyes, and for the first time since they were kids, Kaycee sees him break down. He usually was the one comforting her, now it was her turn.
"Hey, hey, hey.." She speaks, grabbing the sides of his face, making him look straight into her eyes. "You will never lose me, okay? Let's go home, we can get my stuff tomorrow while he is at work."
They both sit there, staring at each other until Sean presses his lips onto hers for a moment before breaking apart and leaving one last kiss on her forehead. He starts the car once again and drives off, back home.
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Make sure to comment and like this! and thanks for reading! This one-shot was inspired by someone else's writing.