Epsilon Unit/Red Base
Outside of Red Base Leo and Simmons are seen working on a fully built robot. As Sarge, Grif and Donut stand to the side, watching them.
Leo: Almost got it and... there! That should do it.
Simmons: Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on.
Leo: Yeah, we should of probably gotten a bigger one.
Donut: It's not how big the switch is, guys. It's how you flip it!
Simmons: Donut, shut up!
Sarge: Alright, robot's all done! Time to fire it up! Let's hit the ol' power button. Who want to do the honors? Grif?
Grif: Meh.
Sarge: Well said. Donut?
Donut: Sorry. Just clear-coated my nails. I'm not chipping one of these babies!
Sarge: Well then, how about you Leo?
Leo: I'll let someone else do the honours, Sir.
Sarge: Alright... Simmons?
Simmons: It would be an honor, sir! Um, th-that is if you're sure you don't want to do it!
Sarge: Now that you mention it, it does sound kind of fun! I always did like pushing things.
Simmons: Oh...okay.
Donut: Hey Sarge, what's this robot gonna do for us anyway?
Sarge: Oh you know, the usual robot stuff. Math we don't wanna do...
Simmons: Right, like THAT exists.
Sarge: Menial tasks like maintaining the vehicle...
Simmons: Maintenance is crucial!
Leo: Technically I've done most of the work on the warthog.
Simmons: Hey! I still helped, ok.
Sarge: Organization...
Simmons: Hmm...maybe I should make a list of all the robot's duties.
Sarge: And basically any task that no one wants to do or is part of anyone's official job description.
Simmons: Additional work? You mean like extra credit? No one told me there was extra credit! What is it? I'll do it!
Leo: Hey Simmons, it's starting to sounds like this robot, going to be doing all your jobs for you.
Simmons: Hahaha...yeah.
Donut: Don't worry. I'm sure Sarge will find some other responsibilities for you! Right Sarge? Sarge?
Sarge: Huh? Oh right. One of the robot's functions is to answer awkward questions that I don't want to. Better turn him on.
Sarge moves behind the robot and starts taking stuff off.
Sarge: Here we go. Let me just get this panel off, make some specific noise and drop it on the ground.
Suddenly, a earthquake starts shaking the ground.
Sarge: Holy guacamole!
Simmons: Ahhhh!!! Another earthquake! Everyone institute emergency plan! Hold on a second while I put on my marshal's vest! Everyone just remain calm! Whatever you do don't- (Earthquake stops)- panic.
Donut: Looks like the earthquake stopped.
Simmons: (Sighs) Yeah.
Leo: You're just disappointed no one got to use the emergency plan, huh Simmons.
Simmons: Sorta...
Leo: It's alright maybe, if there's another earthquake we can do it.
Simmons: Really?
Donut: Don't feel to bad, now! No one's read it anyway!
Simmons: Oh...That's a relief.
Sarge turns the robot on and steps back.
Lopez: >Hello. My name is Lopez. Thank you for activating me.<
Donut: Ooh-hoo, robot's on!
Lopez: >How are you?<
Simmons: Uhh, is he speaking Spanish?
Donut: Sounds like it.
Grif: Does anyone actually speak Spanish, here?
Leo: I actually can understand him.
Grif: Wait, really since when?
Leo: Since... always I guess?
Sarge: What did he say, then?
Leo: That his name is Lopez and he's grateful for activated.
Sarge: Well, then! It's good to have you on the team Lopez!
Lopez: >It's good to be here.<
Simmons: Is their a way to make him speak English? Maybe, the quake messed something up when you activated him, Sarge. Could be a polarity issue...
Sarge: Actually, I ordered the Español speech unit on purpose!
Simmons: You did?
Sarge: Yeah! I thought if we had a little multiculturalism around here, we could all learn Spanish together! Get closer as a unit!
Donut: Speaking of getting our units closer...
Simmons: Not now, Donut! Seems inconvenient, Sarge.
Sarge: Yeah it does. Don't know what the hell I was thinking! Seems really out of character for me.
Another earthquake starts
Lopez: >Warning! Warning! Earthquake!<
Donut: Hey look, Simmons! He's already doing your job!
Simmons: Great.
Donut: Want me to get your vest?
Blue Base
Outside of Blue Base to Church, Zeta, Tucker and Wade standing beside a rock just as the eathquake ends
Tucker: Whoa, there's another quake!
Church: Yep.
Wade: You don't seem all that worried, Church.
Church: No I'm not, 'cause I know all of this isn't real.
Zeta: Way to be blunt.
Tucker: Not real? You mean not real like your fake girlfriend?
Church: No,no,no...my girlfriend is real! It's the world that's fake. Well, everything in it.
Wade: Church, are you sure, you haven't hit your head or something?
Zeta: That's just Church for you, Wade.
Caboose runs out from behind the rock to we're Church, Zeta, Wade and Tucker are standing.
Caboose: EARTHQUAKE!
Church: That was ten seconds ago...man, we really need to get your reflexes checked.
Caboose: Maybe I was just early for the next one! Now you'll be ready when it happens.
Church: Oh shut up.
Caboose: Meteor.
Wade: So, everything in the world is fake, except your girlfriend.
Church: And Zeta, but yeah that's right.
Wade: Who's in the world.
Church: Yes.
Wade: That's supposedly fake.
Church: Correct.
Caboose: Well I am following all of this as well as I follow everything else.
Church: You see, all this...see...okay...we're just inside a memory unit. Which is sitting in a snowbank somewhere in the world...the real world.
Tucker: A snowbank?
Church: Right, and that memory unit is dying, so we're feeling all these, like, you know...little quakes and stuff.
Tucker: If we're on a snowbank, why isn't it cold?
Church: I don't know! It-it-it doesn't work like that, it's...like being inside of a snow globe.
Tucker: Yeah, but a snow globe has snow in it.
Wade: At least Tucker's idea is making more sense!
Caboose: I thought it was a globe made of snow!
Church: Ugh, you're not getting it!
Zeta: Church, your literally telling them the world is fake. How could they not understand this!?
Church: Just shut up for a sec, Zeta. Okay, try to think of it as, like, a...it's like a diorama.
Caboose: Ah yes...a cafeteria for dinosaurs.
Church: Shut up, Caboose.
Caboose: Typhoon.
Wade: So, if this is a memory snowbank thing... it's just sitting there and we're inside it, doing all this stuff. Why?
Church: I don't know, I guess it's so that I can, you know, figure out about Tex and...what I'm supposed to do. And if I can't figure it out, well then I just need to...move on to the next memory unit, I guess.
Zeta: (Mutters) Hopefully, not back to that gender bender one. (Shivers)
Tucker: Right, and that's by finding those Freelancer guys you talked about before.
Church: Exactly.
Tucker: And going on some big adventure with them and finding the snow memory!
Church: Memory unit.
Tucker: Whatever. And then going into it?
Church: Yes.
Tucker: Even though we're already inside it.
Church: And so on, and so forth.
Wade: And that just continues, until what happens exactly?
Church: I don't know! If I knew that I could stop already!
Wade: And we have to do all that, before the memory unit laying in the snow dies, and we're all crushed by falling rocks.
Just as Wade said that a giant rock conveniently falls down behind him.
Wade: Huh, good timing.
Zeta: (Surprised) Yeah, it was.
Caboose: Well if only there had been some type of warning system in place...
Tucker: Okay, I think it all makes sense now.
Church: Uh, good! I'm glad.
Tucker: Dude, that was a fucking joke. I have no clue what's up!
Church: I don't know, it doesn't seem that hard to me, man.
Zeta: That's because you and I are only ones that knows what's going on!
Tucker: I know one way to check. Hey Caboose, explain what's going on. Recap for us!
Caboose: We are going to eat lunch with dinosaurs.
Tucker: Yep. Perfect sense.
Caboose: I'm going to eat a giant egg!
The End
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