Chapter 17
Lauren
Delicate ocean mist glazed her skin. The sea salt was horrible for her sew-in extensions. She didn't care.
She had heard enough for the time being. She was confident the others would fill her in on anything truly important. For now, she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. With the emptiness.
It was all a crock of bull anyway. How could she have been so naive? To think they had been brought there for some higher purpose. Sure, Twelf had never said as much, but he had let them believe it.
Now, she was to believe that it was all to save Ehma? Ehma who was actually his sister and a Realm Goddess herself? How utterly quaint. How utterly disappointing.
The others had eaten up the grey-haired woman's words like it was their last meal. That was fine. They could do as they pleased.
Maybe it wasn't Ehma's fault. Maybe she had been scared. If that was the case, then where did that leave her? What was she supposed to do now that Tera had been raked to the side like some kind of collateral damage?
"Are you going to be alright?" Valeri had positioned herself in Lauren's blind spot. "We're worried about you."
The concern was appreciated, but she wasn't sure if the inclusive we extended to the others. That was a rough time, too. Seeing the two women appear at once, one nearly on the verge of death.
Twelf had been unable to fix the damage. Against the rules, he said. He had been able to find a workaround, as drastic as it was.
Two women became one. A new woman who called herself Valeri, half black and half white. With neither half completely willing to fuse with the other, it left her a beautiful spotted mess. We.
"I'm fine, love."
"For how long, though?"
How long was a good question. One that she didn't really have an answer to. "If everything is as the grey bitch says—"
"Hecate will suffice."
Lauren's breath caught in her throat. Eavesdroppers were not to be tolerated. Even more, she could feel the others crowding around her with their questioning eyes. It filled her with a sense of claustrophobic panic. "I'll be fine."
Another gust of ocean spray dotted her skin. She hoped the additional moisture would hide the heavy drops hanging from her lashes. It was clear they didn't really know what to say to her. She didn't really know what to say to them.
"You're not really maintaining your air of fearless leader."
"Fuck you, Haven."
"Your words cut deep—"
"So, apparently, deities from the 9th Dimension get reincarnated."
"What?" Gina's words were like a slap in the face. How many times had she and Tera argued about that same topic? "You know as well as I do that souls disintegrate at death. No magic can reverse it."
She turned to face them. Dare them to say she was wrong. Part of her wanted to be. The overbearing grey-haired woman cleared her throat in the silence.
"It isn't magic."
"Oh, come off it. What is it, then?"
"Faith."
"Faith?"
"It's the same for the 5th Dimension. Greeks and Norse alike. Our powers come from the people. If their myths say we reincarnate, then we do."
"How very convenient."
"But..."
Of course, there was a but. There was always a but. Even so, she was on edge to hear it. "But?"
"The Far-Eastern deities come back with a blank slate. Children, essentially, with no memories of their previous iterations."
"Oh, piss off."
They watched her, waiting for it to sink it. It wouldn't. This wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted to grieve her loss. Not be told that Tera would come back as a child with no idea who she was.
****
Ehma
The miniature versions of her subconscious were beyond embarrassing. More to the point, nothing about her plans had changed. And yet here she found herself, sucked inward and him right along with her.
The Void and the Goddess wanted to talk. Wanted to see for themselves. If possible, she would have liked very much to kick both off into the vastness of space. Karma seemed equally annoyed as they took turns explaining and interrogating, but at least that part was entertaining.
"So, what, you think that's really okay? For her to keep living in solitude? Like that's the only way?"
"See. Just like I said. He's not that bad," the version of her with blue streaking through her hair said to the miniature shadow before turning to Karma. "Though I'm not really sure you have room to be making such an assumption after only hearing the synopsis."
After ordering Karma to sit by the shadowy miniature, the two had proceeded to unload the sprawling sequence of events. What surprised her most was how easily he seemed to accept it all. She supposed that was what happened when you had no other option but to accept.
She was thankful for that. It made her feel just a little less crazy. Although, how sane could one really feel watching a man argue with the fractured pieces of one's soul.
"I was actually quite happy just observing," she said to take a little tension out of the conversation.
"Really?" He didn't sound convinced. "So then, why even choose to become a mortal in the first place?"
"I don't know. I was bored, I guess." That wasn't the truth. She knew it wasn't, but he didn't. She only hoped the two deviants wouldn't blow her story to smithereens.
"Yes. You see, we were bored. So very bored off in that lonely, lonely corridor. Watching all Twelvius' Guardians go on adventures and fall in love—"
Her shadow miniature came in with the save, covering the mouth of the more loose-lipped one. "Stupid mortal. No one asked for your damn opinion."
"Then why the hell am I here?"
"Why? I'll tell you why! You see this girl, and this girl, and this girl. We're gonna be whole again, you got that? And you? You're goin' back to your little podunk universe where you belong. We don't need you. We don't need anybody."
Is that what this is about? Ehma's eyes darted between the man arguing with little Void woman. Her plans hadn't changed. Now that Selah's seed was planted, she could go back to the 13th Dimension and save Ryoko and Aria.
All she had to do was take the remaining seeds from the Void Guardians hidden in her windows, the last of her sealed divinity. The Void would disappear, and the human part of her would cease to exist. All that would remain would be the version of her streaked in blue. The version before the split, before the reincarnation.
So, if that was the plan, then why was any of this necessary? Neither half of her spirit would answer. They had just bickered with each other until Karma arrived.
"And on that note, since you think you're so handsome and smart, do you think your daughter will ever truly know what love looks like unless she sees her father as an example? I'm sure you've loved a few times in your minuscule existence, but have you ever stopped to think that she might need to see more than one kind of love to really understand what the word means? Or did you just hope that showing her a father's love would be enough?"
Ehma winced at the dramatic shift in conversation. While time stretched to fit the needs of the two pieces of her subconscious, it wasn't a stretch to say this was a waste of it. Even without facial expressions, the little Void-her was clearly foaming at the mouth and using anything in her arsenal to inflict as much damage as possible.
"Look, you little shadow midget. I don't know what your problem is, but if you've got beef, we can take it there."
"Come at me, bro," the shadow said while brandishing her miniature sword and swiping at his knee.
"That's enough, princess." The loose lipped voice of reason had finally stepped forward, placing a hand on the Void's shoulder.
"Et tu, Brute?" The shadow said before pivoting with a sweeping display of her ethereal blade. "Have at you, then, knave. En garde, bitch!"
Ehma stared at the scene, unsure how to react. Surely, this was her punishment for dicing up her spirit into so many pieces. Part of her wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. A deeper part felt awkward and ashamed.
"What do you want to do?"
She almost jumped off the couch when she realized how close he was as he whispered his secret question. The epic battle, complete with explosions and acrobatics, continued undisturbed and she sighed in relief. They really were just fucking annoying at this point.
"There's nothing else I can do.... Once I put the Void back, everything should return to normal," she said as she adjusted herself while making sure to maintain their distance.
"And then?"
"I don't know, to be honest." She let her eyes linger on his for a moment before breaking it off and looking past his shoulder instead. "What about you?"
His eyes burned into her flesh and she was thankful when he turned his gaze to the heavens. "I'll keep doing what I've always been doing, I guess."
"Yeah... I guess you would, huh?" Of course, he would. Why wouldn't he? No one liked being dragged against their will. That was one thing she had learned for certain.
"I don't really think I fit in with the whole different dimension thing."
"I could probably say the same thing for me. I fucked things up pretty bad."
"So, you're really just gonna go back to watching everyone through your windows? I mean, I don't know. I feel like if it means that much to you, maybe you should give it a shot."
She let her eyes shift to the curve of his jaw until his eyes returned to hers. She fought to not look away in embarrassment, but only managed to tuck a sliver of hair behind her ear. "Give what a shot?"
"Like, how you were inspired by the others like the little demon shadow said. Maybe now you could spend time with them instead of being alone."
Her face felt hot at the accusation. It was a nice fantasy, but after what had happened with Selah and Iona and Tera... No. Just something as simple as putting her spirit back together had already caused so many problems. "Oh, you're one to talk."
"What? I like being alone."
"I can tell you're lying, Bubbles." Her hand moved of its own volition, but it was too late by the time she realized it. He returned the gentle pressure, and she lost her train of thought in the warm texture of his palm.
He seemed to be weighing her words with his head cocked to the side. The look made her feel overly conscious about her appearance. Why did she have to look this way in her own mind? She would have felt much better had she been able to at least keep her outfit.
"It's better than being in jail," he said after a moment of quiet thought.
Why was he lying to himself? She had been meticulous in picking apart the memories they shared. The thought made her furious. He wasn't such a bad guy. He could find someone to be happy with if he really tried.
"It's exactly the same as being in jail."
"Better a prison I have a choice in as opposed to one I don't." He nudged her with his shoulder and brandished a genuine smile that caught her off guard.
She nudged back, but her resolve didn't last, and she only succeeded in resting against the solid weight of his body. "My sentiment exactly."
Images flashed in her mind as their eyes settled on each other. His words had been kind until now... but his thoughts. He was just as she assumed. A dirty pervert.
She shook the dirty fantasy out of her mind. It felt so real. Even her body was reacting as if it were real. Her legs shifted anxiously when she realized that her hand was sweating. Was he really thinking all these things now, at a time like this?
"You okay?"
She matched his concerned expression with tepid fury. "Do you have to be such a pervert?"
"I didn't even do anything," he said with the faintest tinge of guilt in his eyes.
He was perplexed and bit one side of his lip while studying her. Another wave crashed over her. She tried to blink it away, to keep his fantasies from having a visible effect on her. Even with her eyes forced open, they continued to play in the back of her mind.
One of the celestial bodies exploded and cast a ruby glow on the universe hanging around them. It jarred her back. Were her inner demons really still at it?
Ehma steadied herself and then plucked at the invisible cord that connected them. It pulsed to life and then faded to nothing. "Have you forgotten so soon?"
"Oh, is that what it looks like?"
His fingertips trailed along the inside of her palm and she found her fingers extending in anticipation. Maybe he had forgotten. Maybe he hadn't. Either way, she instantly regretted giving him a reminder.
Images filled her mind again. This time, vivid in detail. She was on her hands and knees. The carpeted floor bit at her and something tickled between her legs. A gentle tug at her neck drew her gaze up. She followed the chained collar around her neck to the man standing beside her.
Are you fucking kidding me? He was lifting her onto the bed and tying her wrists. Only then did she realize the tickling between her legs was connected to something vibrating inside of her. She writhed in his fantasy, ashamed of how good it felt.
The scene changed. He was kissing her. Comforting her. Filling her. First with dick and then bathing her womb with his essence.
Ehma bit her lip to force herself out of his perverted fantasy and forced herself onto her feet, suddenly unsure what to do with herself. He was just teasing her. Tempting her. All the same, he was playing with fire.
"And where do you think you're goin'?"
Like a slingshot, her body whipped back onto the couch as he pulled her. She jumped in surprise and found herself straddling him. She punched at his chest, but her frustration sizzled midway through. "What am I gonna do with you?"
"You could always cuddle with me, like you did this morning."
The air burst from her mouth in a spurt of exasperated gibberish. "That was-that was-it was..."
"It was nice," he said as he pulled at her wrist.
She braced herself and found her elbows sandwiching his head. He was waiting. She could tell by the way his chin lifted slightly and the way his fingers combed through the fine hairs at her nape. Maybe, maybe she could just, and then—
"You think they're gonna bump uglies?"
"I believe the more culturally adept call it making love."
"Screw that. I wanna see them fuck like bunnies on Viagra."
Ehma had never been so thankful to hear the miniature Void's chipmunk voice. She relaxed and let her forehead sink against his. This was all there could be. She was fine with it. "Are you two satisfied?"
Silence. She glanced over her shoulder out of habit but already knew what she would find. Nothing. So much for closure.
Hands crept up her ribs, circled her shoulder blades, and shifted to her breasts. Every impulse screamed for more as he squeezed. There would be no more interruptions. She could take him right here and now.
As much as her mind craved it, the current situation just wouldn't do. "I'm leaving."
She said it for his sake as much as for her own. There would be no issues if they were satisfied, right? Then again, she knew the unspoken answer evident in their sudden disappearance. They were satisfied. But... was she?
"Are you having fun harassing me?" Her nipples had grown hard between his fingers, but she could tell he was only testing the waters as he studied her reaction.
"Maybe."
She exhaled to find her composure. This was her fault. Twelf had gathered the candidates and she had chosen. With a shadowy gesture of her hand, she had picked him.
Hiding her intentions, she pressed his hands firmly against her bare skin. He relaxed, but she set fire to his expectations when she wrenched his hands from under her nightgown and pinned them to the back of the couch. No trace of fear echoed in his eyes. Damn it.
"Now listen here, Bubbles. This is all just a game. I used you to get my body back. Now that that's done," she paused, waiting for the knife in her words to sink in, "you're gonna go back to where you came from and forget these things ever happened. I'm going to clean up my mess and put the Void back in the empty cave you call a heart. Does that make sense to your stupid mortal brain?"
"Nope." He made a duck face at her. A stupid fucking duck face. Letting go of one wrist, she clenched his cheeks together until he really looked stupid.
"Things are going back to normal, so stay the fuck out of my way."
She put as much pluck as she could muster into the words, then hopped up from the couch before he could say one word further. His notorious grasp angled for her wrist. She was wise to his tricks though.
To the edge. Any edge. It didn't matter. The universe hung above, but the way back laid at her feet. All she needed to do was take the plunge.
Her stupid heart wouldn't stop racing, though. Maybe she had gone too far. No. He needed a firm hand to show him the way things were. He wouldn't listen otherwise. He was too stubborn.
Still, why did her chest ache so? She closed her eyes and took a breath. Her pulse thudded in her ears as she readied herself. After she fell, he would get the point. Or stay in her subconscious. Whatever.
She lifted her foot over the edge as she commanded her eyes to remain closed. Commanded them not to look for him, not to search for him. She leaned into the fall.
Her upper body buckled at the waist as an arm wrapped around her. "Damn it, Bubbles. Why don't you ever lis—"
Hands spun her and then she was falling backward. She didn't care. She pythoned his body with her legs as his silk lips claimed what they so desired. His body was hers. Her lips were his. If only for the moment, they fell together.