I just wanted to put a little disclaimer here that in this story Sean and Kaycee are in their early 20s, so it is legal for them to drink _______________________________________________________________________________________
Sean spent practically the whole day hiding out, in hopes that he could avoid his nosy friends. He didn't want to talk about it, all he wanted to do was be left alone with his broken heart.
As people walked into the dressing room that Sean occupied, grabbing their stuff and leaving, the once messy room filled with bags and clothes was now deserted - only a few plastic water bottles being left in their place - which he took the liberty in recycling as he left the room, making his way back into the venue.
He came to the conclusion that he must have been hiding out a lot longer than he realized when only a handful of people were left, his friends being some of them.
The group spotted him, looking at him with confusion as Julian motioned him over.
"Where the hell have you been?" Bailey questioned as she pulled him into a quick side hug. "I can't believe BuildaBeast is practically over and this is the first time I've seen you."
He tried his best to give her a smile, but his weak attempt at trying to hide how he felt was useless. It didn't matter anyway, because by the sympathetic looks on his friend's faces he could tell that they already knew something happened.
"She told you?" Sean asked, his eyes flickering from friend to friend.
"She told me and Tahani," Bailey said pointing to her shorter, curly-haired friend. "But we kind of filled the rest of the guy's in."
He threw his head back, letting out a groan to signify in frustration, but in all honesty, he didn't have it in him to care. The only space he had left in his mind to worry about is how after BuildaBeast ends, Kaycee will probably disappear again, at least in his life.
He had one chance to fix things with her, to get her to realize how much he regretted leaving her there alone but he ruined it.
He couldn't get the image of her face transforming from hurt to a fake smile out of his mind. If he didn't know better, he wouldn't have even known how just moments before, tears were running down her face - her acting skills definitely improved over the past couple of years.
Or maybe it was the fact that after Sean left her alone to pick up the pieces of her heart that he broke, she became a pro at pretending that everything was fine - hoping that eventually, her efforts with putting on this act would turn to reality.
Of course, it wasn't that easy, but Kaycee realized that as long as she impersonated this happy, fully intact person in front of her friends and family - she could fall apart when she was alone.
Kaycee couldn't even count the number of days she would end, crying alone in the shower, trying to get the hot water to somehow replace the feeling of his arms on her skin.
She experienced too many failed attempts at this though to be dumb enough to think that it would mend the emptiness she felt - because she was always left alone, the steam making everything into a foggy haze as the echo of the water droplets striking the hard tile floor drowned at her loud sobs.
It took her six long months of the same routine - pretending in front of people and falling apart when she was by herself - to realize how pathetic she was being. She woke up one day, deciding that if she ever truly wanted to become herself again it would mean that she had to be enough for herself.
She had to stop relying on people online to give her validation and she definitely had to stop waiting around for Sean to realize everything he lost.
He was never in love with her and she had to accept that.
So she significantly decreased the amount of stuff she posted online and she started to focus on herself. And just as she began to feel as though she was turning into herself again - he just had to show up.
When she saw him on the first day of the convention, she felt her heart ache in her chest, making her realize that no matter how much time she spent away from him - he still made her heart stop - though she would never admit it.
"Great..." Sean's voice faded away looking towards the ground. "Are you guys ready to go? I'm really not in the mood to hang out."
A hard smack on the side of his head made him stumble to the side slightly before his eyes focused on the subjects in front of him.
"What the hell?" He snapped.
"Snap. Out. Of. It." Tahani said making sure to pause in between her words in order to exaggerate them. "She rejects you one time and you are going to give up? Great idea, Sean. That will definitely show her how much you care." She finishes sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, not very Sean of you to just give up that easy," Josh interjected.
With every word they spoke, Sean could feel his irritation growing. He narrowed his eyes at the group.
"You guys didn't see the way she looked at me, okay?" He snapped. "She doesn't want to see me, She doesn't want to talk to me." He paused, running his hands through his jet black hair. "I don't know how to fix things with her. Or if it even is possible to fix things."
The dejected look on all his friend's faces made him feel even worse, they were not giving him the pep talk he so desperately needed.
"Look, there is a party tonight for all the adults, as a way to end the convention with a bang, she will be there, so go get your girl," Julian suggested, patting him on the shoulder, trying to give him so comfort.
Bailey was next to speak, "If it makes you feel better, you two are made for each other, it will always be Sean and Kaycee, no matter how much she tries to pretend. You just have to show her you aren't going to leave this time."
Sean nodded at her words, his heart filling with love for the people that stood in front of him. He knew that no matter how much fame he got - they would always tell him the truth even if he didn't want to hear it.
*****
Kaycee walked into the party, eyes trying to adjust to the dark room that was only lit with colorful lights that beamed down from the ceiling. The music boomed as she made her way to the open bar, ordering herself a shot - downing it swiftly - then ordering another.
She felt a chin land on her shoulder and smiled as she heard the deep voice.
"You wanna dance?"
She rolled her eyes, moving her shoulder, making the guy lift his head. She grabbed the second shot, gulping that one as well before she felt herself being dragged by the blonde-haired boy, towards the dance floor.
Kaycee moved her hips to the beats of the music, throwing her arms up in the air. Her hair clung to the sweat that misted her body and she silently thanked the lord that everyone here seemed to have good hygiene. Not that she would even notice if they didn't - years of taking classes in small studios that were packed with people, pretty much made her immune to body odor.
Her body bumped into multiple others, almost getting taken away with the crowd until she felt two strong arms wrap around her tiny waist, bringing her impossibly close into his hard chest.
"Where do you think you're going?" He yelled into her ear, but his attempts at flirting got lost in the loud music, as she just motioned towards her ears as a way to tell him she had no idea what he just said.
He watched as she turned around, his eyes scanning the back of her body, but stopping at her open-back dress which allowed a full view of her body while her slim yet toned back muscles contracted as she danced.
Alex couldn't deny the feelings he had for the brunette, but she never seemed to catch onto his flirty advances, seeing him as only a friend. Though he didn't realize that, thinking that tonight was finally the night for him to pass over the friend zone.
She placed her butt onto the front of his body, grinding as the song turned to "Faded to Saded" by Lyrica Anderson - the mood in the room changing - making the people on the dance floor stop wildly jumping to the music and instead, slowly moving their bodies to the beat.
The colorful lights that beamed down changed to a deep purple making the room drastically darker.
She felt Alex's hands grab her hips, pulling her even closer towards him. She stood up, twirling her body around to face him, her chest touching his. He could hear her breathing in his ear as she moved her hips to the music, rubbing her body on his.
Kaycee felt a gaze burning the side of her head as she danced with her friend. She pushed herself slightly away from his chest, her eyes connecting with Sean's - who was watching the two of them dance - jealousy rising in his chest.
She felt instantly nauseous upon seeing the dark-eyed boy.
"I'm going to get another drink." She yelled at her friend as he nodded, releasing her from his grasp and turning his attention to the other people dancing around him.
Her strides were quick as she made her way to the bar, quickly ordering herself a couple more shots. Her eyes roamed the room, her sight landing on Bailey who was whispering into some guy's ear.
Her eyes found most of her friends, all of them seemingly busy, making her sigh. Her hands grabbed shot after shot - trying to distract herself from the eyes that were watching her.
"Having fun?" She turned around at the sound of his voice, scoffing as she watched his eyes scan her body.
He couldn't help himself but to trail his gaze over her stature - he felt his knees go weak at the sight of her.
She was wearing a black, short dress, that was held up with two skinny straps which hung over her shoulders where her curly hair fell down her back. The heels she wore made her legs look endlessly long as her skin glistened with sweat.
"I was until you showed up," she remarked turning back around to face the bartender.
Her annoyance grew when she felt him lean onto the counter beside her, his eyes once again planted on her.
She tried to ignore his presence, ordering yet again another shot - mentally apologizing to her future self for the hangover that she was bound to suffer - but she couldn't get herself to care about that at the moment, her only focus was to get drunk enough so that she could forget about the conversation that happened in the dressing room earlier that day.
Her vision blurred as she tried to walk away, almost falling to the ground. Rough hands gripped her waist tightly as they straightened her out.
"C'mon Kayc, let's get you out of here."
"No, fuck you." She spat, pushing herself out of his grip, once again almost landing on the floor.
This time he didn't give her any choice as he lifted her practically weightless body out towards the parking lot - receiving worried looks from his friends who were spread throughout the room. He lifted his hand, motioning to them that he would take her home, making them nod in relief before going back to whatever had their attention.
Her protests came out in mumbles as he led them out of the building, the crisp Los Angeles air, weirdly colder than usual. The walk to his car was quick as he parked close to the entrance.
He helped lift her into the passenger seat, before shutting the door and making his way to the other side.
Her head rested itself on the closed door, eyes clasped shut as she hummed, a giggle escaping her lips every once in a while.
To say he was taken back by her behavior tonight was an understatement, and even though he would never in a million years judge her, he could barely swallow the idea of innocent Kaycee dancing like that with someone else. Even if she wasn't his anymore.
"Kayc." He spoke, reaching towards the back seat and grabbing a water bottle. Her eyes opened slightly, taking a glimpse at him as he handed her the bottle. "You should drink some water, it will make you feel better."
Her natural instinct was to deny his request, but when she noticed her throat feeling itchy and dry, she hesitantly took the bottle out of his hand, twisting the cap off, and gulping down the water which instantly soothed her throat.
He chuckled as he watched a large amount of water fall from her mouth and down her chest, his hands making contact with her as he took it upon himself to wipe the liquid from her skin.
"Don't touch me." She grumbled, moving her body out of his reach.
They sat in silence for a few moments, the only thing interrupting it, is when Kaycee would hiccup quietly. He watched as her skin erupted in goosebumps, a shiver escaping her enclosed lips.
He reached back, grabbing one of his hoodies, moving closer to hand it to her. She looked down at the thick fabric in disgust but Sean insisted, dropping it on her lap. Kaycee froze for a second, eyes on the yellow hoodie that sat on top of her knees.
Her fingers clasped around the object before throwing it roughly at Sean, hitting him square in the chest. "I don't want to wear your stupid hoodie, Sean."
He nodded in understanding but when he saw her shiver again, this time hearing her teeth chatter, he held it out towards her again. "Can you just please put it on? You're freezing" He stated.
She groaned in irritation, grabbing it from him and putting it on, instantly warmed as her body practically drowned in the huge hoodie, which smelled heavily of Sean. Her drunken state not helping her to push back the feelings of nostalgia that came from his scent.
"What do you want from me, Sean?" her voice came out hoarse, making Sean's eyes widen in surprise at her abrupt question.
"I want you." He paused watching as she shook her head and closed her eyes. "I love you, Kayc. I always have. And I'm not leaving this time."
He saw tears escape her eyes as she looked straight ahead, avoiding his gaze. Her head pounded from the alcohol and the wave of emotions made it even more intense. She just wanted to sleep.
Her body slumped against the seat, going limp as her breaths quieted, signaling to Sean that she had lost consciousness.
"You're not even going to remember this tomorrow." He sighed, starting the car and driving towards the hotel.
*****
Her eyes slowly opened, squinting around the room. It was dark, the curtains closed, blocking the bright sunlight from shining into the room.
Kaycee could barely see her surroundings, but she knew that she wasn't in her hotel room. It took only one glance at the hoodie that covered her body to realize who's hotel she was in.
Her hand reached up to cradle her pounding head as she groaned in pain. The bottle of medicine and glass of water that lay on the nightstand beside the bed suddenly came into Kaycee's view and she reached towards them, swallowing the pills and gulping down the whole glass.
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her feet coming into contact with the soft carpet. Her toes wiggled in the carpet before standing up and making her way towards the light that peeped from under the closed door.
She slowly opened the door, silently cursing herself as it creaked. But when she saw no one in sight, she creeped out of the room, trying to find the door, in his unusually large hotel room.
"How are you feeling?"
She looked up at the heavens, internally asking god what she did so wrong for her to be punished like this.
When the only answer he got from her was silence, he spoke again, her back still faced towards him. "I made some waffles - you're favorite."
"I hate waffles."
She spoke too soon, the delicious smell of the food just now making its way towards her nose, making her stomach lurch in hunger.
"Oh too bad, guess I'll just have to eat these all by myself." He joked, sitting down at the table, the chair screeching making Kaycee's head pound harder. Her body turned to see the boy sitting, stuffing the sticky goodness into his mouth, making obnoxious noises in order to taunt her.
"Fine." She grumbled, walking to the farthest seat away from him, before grabbing the plate that occupied a waffle and drowning it in syrup.
She could feel his gaze on her as she shoveled the warm breakfast into her mouth, but she ignored him, searching the pockets of the hoodie she was wearing - trying to find her phone.
She was met with a black screen - her phone dead. Just her luck.
She gulped down the last couple bites of her food, before coughing as she stood up, to bring Sean out of his thoughts. Her hands clasped the bottom of his hoodie, pulling it over her head, and tossing it onto the chair beside him. "This was fun." She said, her voice coming out stale and sarcastic as she made her way towards the door.
Her hands pulled the door, opening it slightly before she felt it slam shut. She groaned in annoyance, getting sick of the number of times this has happened over the past two days. Why couldn't he just let her leave?
"I'll drive you back to your hotel." He said, walking to grab his keys.
"Hard pass."
She watched as Sean threw his hands up in agitation, spinning around to face her. His eyes pleading as he spoke, "What can I do, Kayc? I want to fix things."
"You can leave me alone."
She stared at him, eyes hard, watching as he shook his head at her words. "That was my mistake the first time." He started, slowly walking towards her. "I'm not going to make it again because I'm hopelessly in love with you, and I'm not going to give up until you know that." His eyes pierced into hers, the words he spoke coming out softly but sternly, trying to get it through her stubborn mind.
"I left because I was a coward. Before you said you loved me, we did everything a normal couple would do - we kissed, and cuddled, and spent hours on end laughing together - but the moment you wanted to put a label on it, I freaked out. All I could think about was what if it didn't work out, I would lose you forever. Which was stupid considering how everything turned out, but I just couldn't risk that. You were my best friend, Kaycee. I couldn't - No, I can't lose my best friend."
He finished his rambles, finally letting out the breath he was holding in. He felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. He spent two years trying to figure out the right words to say to her. And he was positive he still didn't get them right, but it was all he could do.
"I need to take a shower."
He looked at her in confusion, but he couldn't deny the relief he felt from what she said. She wasn't leaving.
He moved towards her, grabbing her hands, butterflies flying through his stomach at their contact. She didn't push him away as he led her towards the bathroom, opening the door, to display an oversized shower with glass doors.
Kaycee felt herself craving to feel clean again - especially after the night she had. Her feet hit the cold ground as she walked towards the shower, turning the faucet on and making water spout from the showerhead.
Sean took that as his cue to leave, but as he turned to walk out, he felt her soft hands grab his.
"Stay with me."
He almost choked at her words, his mouth hanging open in disbelief as he looked at her.
"Please," She said. "I swear this isn't some type of trap, I just need to be with you right now. I promise we can talk later."
Sean nodded wearily, watching her hands fold behind her, trying to unzip her dress, Sean watched her struggle before reaching over and unzipping it - watching it fall to the ground. His hands slowly traced down her shoulders, then down the back of her bra, unclasping it, letting it fall to the ground too.
He watched as she made her way towards the shower, her lips parting slightly as she sighed in delight when the warm water came into contact with her skin. He followed slowly after, undressing then stepping in the shower behind her.
The heat of the water soaked into the couple's skin, soothing their sore muscles from the endless hours of dancing they did over the past couple of days.
The steam has already spread throughout the room making the air thick and hot. Water poured down onto them, darkening their hair, and then falling down their bodies, landing with a splash onto the tile floor before disappearing down the drain.
Kaycee reached forward, grabbing the shampoo bottle before handing it to Sean. She leaned her head back, towards him as he squeezed the liquid into his palms, letting his hands tangle themselves in her hair.
His long fingers massaged it deeper into her scalp making her hum at his touch. The water that dripped onto them, washed the shampoo out of her hair, the foam running down her body in the process.
He repeated the process with the conditioner before turning around, closing his eyes as the water hits his face. He felt her hands kneading shampoo into his hair as she stood on her tippy toes to reach the top of his head.
She poked at his side and Sean suddenly noticed the absence of her hands in his hair making him turn towards her again. Kaycee reached a washcloth out to him - which was already soaked with his body wash. The body wash released a subtle, musky smell which smelt like home to Kaycee.
He took the small towel, rubbing it on her skin gently. She held up her hair, wiggling her shoulders at him signaling for him to rub the back of her body clean.
His eyes traced her backside - all the way from the tops of her shoulders which was covered in small freckles - to her feet which were standing beside his. He brought his lips to her shoulders, leaving a sweet kiss on each one.
She turned towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck, reaching up to place her lips on his. This was the first time their lips connected in two years and the kiss was gentle and passionate - as if making up for the time they lost.
They spent hours in the shower, wrapped in each other's arms as they cried and whispered promises into one another's ears - until eventually, the water got cold.
Exiting the shower, they made their way towards the bed that lay in the middle of his hotel room. Their bodies entangled into each other as they spent the day falling in and out of sleep, not caring about the things they had scheduled for today or the problems they had to face when they woke up tomorrow because they knew everything would be okay.
Because they had each other.
And this time neither of them were left alone.
________________________________________________________________
tbh im not really happy with the outcome of this chapter but it took practically all day to write - so i hope at least some of you enjoy. thanks for reading and supporting my writing!
i really appreciate all the amazing comments you guys have left on these oneshots, they make my heart so warm <3