I slept today. Not as long as I should have but better than I have done in days. The thought of travelling home tomorrow might have contributed to it, seeing my girls, Jen and Leelee has put me in a happier mood. My siblings will also be back next week, full house with lots of noise and laughter, it will be easy to forget Paul. He can ignore me as much as he wants, I am done chasing him.
A giggle escapes me at the antics of the men on my laptop screen, I shake my head with a sigh. I have nothing doing at work except watch movies and crime documentaries, things I can do at home but home is boring. Boring and lonely. I frown, I do miss him, I miss his cooking too, I don't want to go back to eating out. My shoulders slump, it doesn't matter, by tomorrow I will be in Enugu.
The door to my office bursts open, I jump to my feet and jam my laptop close, letting out a hiss when Chi sashays in like she owns the building. She shoves her hands into the pocket of her long flowing kimono, her box braids sit atop her head in a big bun and I catch a glimpse of her fair thigh when she puts one leg in front. I purse my lips and lower myself back to my swivel chair, eyes set on my laptop as I plug in my earpiece.
For the same unknown reasons I have been missing her calls, I don't want to talk to her. I don't want the awkwardness that comes from being friends with your ex's sibling. She dumps her bag on the couch, I pretend not to see her strut to stand in front of me with her arms crossed on her heaving chest. If I ignore her long enough, she will leave.
She closes the laptop, I groan. Or not. This is Chi I am talking about, she will not leave until I hear her out. She is the only person who makes my stubbornness feel like a joke. I scowl, I don't like her so much right now.
My eyes lift to hers, I take my time to unplug my earpiece and frown. "What do you want?"
Her hands jam together, dry laughter slips past her lips as she shakes her head and scoffs. Pointing a finger to her chest, she asks in a voice laced with sarcasm, "What do I want?" Her mouth parts open, I almost feel guilty until she says, "You are mad. You and Paul are raving mad," my eyes narrow, "I don't know what's going on with both of you but don't transfer the aggression to me."
Our eyes clash, I fold my arms across my chest, lips pulled into a grim line until I can no longer handle her gaze. Gosh. She should have put on makeup, those brown eyes are as penetrating as her brother's. My eyes lower to my plain trousers, I rub my hands on my thighs, gulp and heave a sigh. She is right, I am angry with her brother, not her.
"I'm sorry."
"You better be." I raise my head at the sound of a chair scraping the floor to see her seated. "What's going on? Talk to me."
Playing with the empty bowl on my table, I shrug. "What do you mean?" She directs her usual stare my way, I scowl. "Nothing."
The alarm bells in my head go off when a sultry smile flits to her lips, I grip the edge of my table, ready to tell her off if she suggests something outrageous. I am not the daughter of an influential man, I cannot get away with whatever I want. Her fingers drum on the table, I spot her signature red nail polish, we both love that colour. Me, for my lips, her, for her fingernails. It is perfect.
"Are you busy?"
My head moves right, I stop it halfway from moving left. "It depends," her frown morphs into a tiny scowl, "not really. What is it?"
Training my gaze on her, I watch with mild confusion as she retrieves her mini duffle bag from the couch to dump it on my desk.
"We are going out," she informs me with a wiggle of her eyebrows. "Get ready."
This time, I shake my head fully. She holds a hand to stop me, I close my eyes briefly and murmur, "I need to change. I have to go home first. I can't go out dressed," I make a sweeping motion across my outfit, "in this."
She shrugs out of her kimono, takes a few steps back to allow me feast my eyes on her and my jaw slacks at her daring outfit. A hand goes over my mouth, she giggles and does an exaggerated spin that ends with a curtesy. The hem of her white crop top lifts to reveals her toned stomach, if she lifts her arms by another inch, I will catch a glimpse of her belly button. Her brown shorts come to stop in the middle of her thighs, I shake my head and she sticks her tongue out.
In my opinion, that length is too short for office business and I understand now, her need for a kimono. I giggle, Paul will bundle me into the house if I so much as suggested coming to the office dressed like that. She saunters back to the desk, picks out an outfit from the bag which she throws at my face and I let out a string of muffled curses.
Holding the strappy material between my index fingers and thumbs, I lift it to my eye level and on further inspection, clarification sets in. "We are going to swim?" She nods, I make a face. The question leaves my mouth before I can stop myself, "Is Paul coming?"
Her negative response has my heart sinking into the pit of my belly but I plaster on a fake smile. I don't want to see him. He can go on a swimming date with that girl he put on his status after ignoring my messages. Bad boyfriend. My chest tightens, I let out a sigh and lower the swimwear to the table, Chi has great taste and she proved it again with her choice. But I wish he will be there to see me, a few seconds of silence will do.
We haven't seen each other in days, four long days, doesn't he miss me too? I yelp as another cloth hits my face, and a frown flits to my lips when Chi flashes me a grin. The gown is a deep red colour which will leave a generous amount of my cleavage on display, I eye her from head to belly and she bursts out laughing. She wants her brother to have a fit and I refuse to be a party to that. I return the gown to her, she digs into her bag and pulls out a few more items.
"Do you go about buying clothes in hopes I will like them?" She pouts, I giggle. It must be lovely to have an eternal flow of cash, a life Paul knows all too well with his ability to pull a sweet surprise and plenty of gifts. "What if I don't like any of them? Then what?"
Settling into her former position, she drops the bag to the floor. "We will give them out." I blink, she takes my hands on the table and gives it a small squeeze. "I was bored."
We, my family, do well for ourselves but her high taste makes me question our financial status. "So you shop when you are bored?"
"Yep, yes." I lean back into my seat, fold my arms and she giggles after batting her faux lashes. "Sometimes, not always. Shopping can be fun, you should try it out. It's good for your health." I arch my eyebrows, she frowns and lets out a sigh. "You were not picking my calls. Paul too." She pouts and straightens up in her seat with her hands stretched out. "What did I do to two of you?"
The initial guilt resurfaces, my eyes lower to my desk and I fiddle with the hem of the blue kimono she gave me, I love the texture and style. I might have picked it out myself if we did go shopping together. She groans.
"Nothing. I'm sorry," I say. I clear my throat and spare her a glance. The tip of her nose scrunches as she holds my gaze, I sigh, she deserves to know the truth, she spent months trying to play Cupid. "We broke up."
A heavy silence descends on the room, I look out the one-way window and rub her hands which come to wrap around my shoulders from the side. I relax into the hug I didn't realise I needed until this moment, she is not him but she can suffice. Tears well up my eyes and fall to her arms at the gentle squeeze of my shoulder. I miss my love.
"I don't want to break up with him."
She returns in a whisper, "Then the break up is cancelled." I giggle and sniff, she will make a good sister-in-law. "No breakup."
We stay that way until she pulls away to sit on the edge of my desk and offers me a tissue she retrieves from the box of Kleenex tissue on my table. I blow my nose into the tissue and burst into a fit of giggles when her face contorts in fake disgust. She offers me another set of tissue which I use in dabbing my eyes, I exhale and offer her a smile she returns, I am such a big baby sometimes.
"We should really go out," she murmurs. I nod, we need to. Only us, no talk about guys.
* * *
"I want him to give me space but show me attention. I want him to be around so I can ignore him and he's making it difficult."
"You are confused," Chi replies with a small laugh after I finish narrating the incident that led to our fight. I pout. So far, she has been understanding and I hope it stays that way. I feel so lost without him, so I need her with me. "But for real, what do you want?"
Undecided, I beat the surface of the water, splashing the clear liquid on her as I turn around to resume doing backstrokes. The knots in my joints loosen as I swim to the end of the pool and back, only returning to her when my arms scream out in protest. It has been so long and I have missed it.
Stepping out of the pool with water dripping from every inch of my body and swimsuit, I snatch the towel she attempts to fling my way, wrap it around my waist and wiggle my butt in her face. She shoves me into the pool without notice, my eyes widen to the size of saucers and I start sinking once my body connects with the water.
Calling for her help is futile, my hands flail, water floods my mouth and senses as I sink. My ears ring from the fluid sensation in them, I come up for air and suck in a sharp breath, splashing water everywhere before I go back under. Chi must have sensed my fright because she jumps into the water to supposedly rescue me from her rough play. I swat her hands and keep her head under the water until she snatches my swim cap.
She realises soon after that I tricked her, we engage in a water fight that progresses into a war of balls. My laughter resonates in the near-empty area when I hit her with one of the soft balls, I step out of the pool while she massages her temple with a frown. I look away when she shakes her head, she started it and I am glad to have finished it.
Wringing excess water from my hair, I jut my lower lip and bat my lashes as she exits the pool with red eyes. She scowls, I giggle, next time she will know better than to mess with an award-winning swimmer. I was in my school's swimming team, the best one at that. She flips me the middle finger as she bends to retrieve a towel from the heap on the stool between our chairs, I shrug and spread my damp towel on the armrest.
"See how you pushed me," I frown and give her a disapproving onceover, "what if I had injured myself? What will you say?"
"I didn't expect you to fall like that," she cries out in her defence and I roll my eyes. "Sorry na. You too, be eating good food so nobody can push you anyhow." A strangled sound escapes me from trying hard to hold back my laughter, she snickers and I erupt in a fit of giggles. "Did you hurt yourself?"
The way everyone keeps commenting about my weight will have a person who hasn't seem me convinced I am the skinniest lady alive. I only lost a few kilograms due to the kidnap and Paul has been shoving food into me ever since. Running my fingers through my wet twists, I let out a sigh, I might have lost the little weight I gained in his house from missing sleep and eating less and less with each passing day. I need tender loving care, he needs to be around to pamper me.
"No," I smile, "but don't do it again."
With a towel wrapped around her head, she leans back into her chair and puts on her sunglasses. "I won't." I nod and mimic her position, our timeout is turning out to be more fun than I anticipated. "Sorry."
I have a strong suspicion the long talk she had with the manager has something to do with the privacy afforded us. No one has come in since we stepped in but I don't ask her about it. Inhaling the fresh air, my eyes squint at the sound of approaching footstep.
The male who showed us to the pool stops in front of us with his hands behind him to inquire about our needs. Chi makes our order, a blinding smile flits to my lips at the mention of chicken suya, a heavily spiced delicacy and I nod when he glances my way to seek my approval. He returns shortly with a tray and stool he sets our mouth-watering order and I clap in excitement.
Taking a long sip from the mocktail, I let out a content sigh and smile sheepishly. We have to do this another time, bills on me.
"Are you sure you don't want me to talk to him?" Chi asks after picking a piece of the peppered chicken. Her mouth closes over the toothpick, I drop my cup to the tray and cross my legs at the ankles. "I don't mind."
Pushing the glasses down the bridge of my nose, I suck on my lower lip and stare at the clear, blue sky before shaking my head. To be honest, I am tired of being the one who always has to go the extra mile. He ignored my message twice, never returned any of my missed calls. If he had told me about her, I wouldn't have been taken by surprise.
"You all are so secretive," I whisper with a sigh, shoulders slumping and Chi's head jerks in my direction. I roll my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you are getting married?"
Her reply takes a few seconds, "I'm sorry."
Thoughts of tormenting her with my refusal to attend her wedding play in my mind as I stare at her, I offer her a wicked smile and wiggle my eyebrows as I relish in the look of fear that crosses her face. She frowns, I let out a low hiss and resume sipping my mocktail, I won't miss her wedding for anything in the world. If only her brother will learn to be as cool as she is, not once did she scold me for lashing out at him.
"There's a reason he is like this, you know?" she starts, ignoring the look of confusion I throw at her. There's no excuse. "Before this incident, the last time Udo spoke to our dad was when he recently moved here. Not even hello or a hi, that boy is too stubborn."
Stubborn as a bull and now it's affecting us. "Why?" The idea of going that long without speaking to my mother sounds outrageous.
She sighs and shuts her mouth, making zip sounds as she throws the invisible key to a more invisible padlock away. All traces of laughter vanish from my face as I raise my glass as if to empty the content on her.
"Jesus. Fine." She fake shudders at the glare I still have directed at her. "I'll tell you, but you promise not to say anything to him."
I roll my eyes, left to me, I only want to hear this piece of information from him but she will have to do. I don't know why he doesn't trust me well enough to reveal secrets and other important aspects of his life to me without my asking. I tell him everything.
Chi switches to a meditative pose, I imitate her posture. "Udo met Ella in school-"
"Her name is Emmanuella," I cut her off, saying Ella makes it sound like they still have an intimate relationship. I don't like it.
Thankfully, she understands how I feel and offers me a small smile I reciprocate. "Okay, Emmanuella. Everyone thought they would get married." My heart does a double take at the reminder of the card, the gold letters dance in front of me and I blink rapidly until they disappear. "He even proposed."
She lets out a fake laugh, shakes her head. "Things were going fine until we all came back home to get ready for the wedding. It was meant to be a double celebration--an engagement party and the governor's children return. Me with my degree in Business Administration and Udo with his degree in Law because our father wanted us to take over the family businesses."
No images come up as I try to imagine Paul in a courtroom with a wig and oversized gown, defending his client. He looks better in his apron and the kitchen, speaking to no one except for the occasional small talks.
"I didn't mind but Udo did so he switched without letting our father know, our mother knew but she promised to keep it a secret until he was ready to tell. It was easy to fool our father since he was always busy."
Uncertainty settles on my shoulders, I rub my hands on my knees, at a loss on what to say. Daddy has always been my number one fan, Mmá too. If I had so much as made a serious joke to them about wanting to be a ballerina, they would have bought me a tutu that day and enrolled me into a ballet school the next day. It is hard to picture a world without their constant support yet he didn't seem to have it. That must suck.
To dissolve the dreary air, I murmur, "That explains why you are a bad receptionist." She sends me a glare, I flash her a small smile. "What course did he switch to?"
"He went to culinary school instead, daddy was paying for that thinking he was in law school. When he found out," she scoffs and shakes her head, "all hell broke loose." Her face takes on a forlorn look, she sighs as her fingers lift to make air quotes and her voice grows deeper in an imitation of her father's, "You let us spend our hard-earned money on you for four years. Four years at a cooking school! No son of mine will cook for other people, not in this house. Never."
He threatened his son. My hands splay on my legs, my eyes remain glued to my thigh and a dull ache spreads throughout my chest. His father should have been more understanding but four years, I let out a sigh. Four years is too long to carry on such a lie, they are his parents, not strangers. My shoulders sag and I grow a newfound appreciation for my family, especially my parents. They will always have my back.
"Udo tried to stay away from home but our mother insisted daddy would get over it but he never did." She offers me a sad smile. "I think our father was hurt by the fact he had to hear it from another person. Blackmailed even and Udo was hurt by the fact he wasn't accepting of the path he chose to follow."
My heart sinks further into my stomach, I shift in my seat and try not to think of the hard times my baby went through alone. "Who told him? Your father, I mean."
"Udo's fiancée." My jaw slacks. I don't miss the bitterness in her voice when she says, "She studied political science and would go on and on about how she wanted to be involved in Nigerian politics. That bitch saw a way through daddy and she took it."
Her eyes take on the darkest look I have ever seen, I squeeze her knee, she lets out a deep breath and her shoulders sag. "Sorry. The thought of her annoys me every time."
"Maybe we should stop talking about her."
"It's fine," she offers me a weak smile, "you need to hear it." Her voice takes on a lighter tone and she continues, "I have been dying to tell you so we can hate her together." We hold hands and burst out laughing, I am up for it, she can count me in on the hate team.
"Why didn't he tell me?" She offers me an apologetic smile, I grimace. "Continue."
She nods, my hands return to rubbing my knees. "I don't know the bargain she struck with daddy but that wicked, ugly witch got a local government position after," she scoffs, "she's a minister now sef. She just needed the right connections which Udo was more than willing to provide but apparently," Chi rolls her eyes, "the she-goat couldn't wait."
The insults she inserts at intervals has me cackling, I throw my head back and let the laughter take over me. Trust Chi to make you laugh at the expense of someone else and over a serious situation. Covering my mouth to stifle my giggles, I nod along to what she says and she flashes me a grin.
"Don't mind me, I don't like that girl." She pouts and I nod, neither do I. "Just give him time, he will come around. He's learning to open up to you," she gives me the puppy eyed look, "do you want me to talk to him?"
**********
Picture: Yours sincerely