Chapter Seventeen
Christian rolls the panel of the shed back along its track, revealing the its interior. We step in and he reaches to the side of the opening, flipping on the lights. It's quite spacious, and actually... cozy. The air is cool up here on the ridge, so he quickly slides the panel shut behind us There are two main areas inside the shed. The larger area, to our right, has a white gravel floor. There's a black SUV parked here, and beyond it is a large pile of logs.
I step around the SUV and examine the first log. It's long and straight, bark still clinging to it in places. There's a metal tag nailed into the end of it, No. 102. I run my fingers across the tag, and then across the girth of the tree, noting the rings. "Are these from here? From your property?" I ask.
I can feel him standing just behind me, and he reaches around, putting his hand on top of mine. "Yes, and they'll stay here. They're... part of a little project."
I laugh at this and then duck past him, walking along the length of the log pile. There must be well over a hundred logs here. "Wow... so you're going to build a house with these? A log home?"
"Yes... of sorts. But not with raw logs and chinking and a stovepipe," he laughs. "I'm no Abraham Lincoln. I'm building it... with a little help. A little help in the form of a crew of workers, insulated panels, and modern conveniences."
"Tell me about it... I mean, do you have plans drawn up?" I ask.
"Yes, it's an open plan below... stone fireplace and lots of windows, a large deck on the front. And three bedrooms above... modern kitchen and two bathrooms... a hot tub and an outdoor shower in the back." While talking about these last two features, he runs his fingers up the length of my back, making me shiver in anticipation. Yep, a hot tub and an outdoor shower... I can definitely work with that.
"So you're going to be building soon? This summer?"
"Yes, the logs have been sitting in here aging for the past year. The crew is lined up, and we're due to break ground in a couple of weeks," He says.
I wander back along the logs, toward the other, smaller, section of the shed. It's raised slightly, with a wooden floor. "And in the meantime..." I begin.
"And in the meantime, I'm living... here."
'Here' is an area of maybe four hundred feet. There's a bed covered in a colorful patchwork quilt against one wall, a dresser, a couch and TV, a recliner, and then a galley kitchen. There's a door at the other end, which I assume leads to a bathroom. Thank goodness there's a door! It's simple, but it's adequate and not at all bad.
"So what do you think?" He asks, for the second time since we arrived here. "Ready to call the hotel and see if you can get your room back?" He's joking, but I can sense a hint of insecurity in his voice. He's on a crazy adventure here, and he's not taking it for granted that I want to be along for the ride, even for the weekend.
"I think... that I want to be where you are, and that the bed looks pretty comfortable." I say. "What more could a girl ask for?"
He grins at my answer and reaches forward to cup my face, then starts to walk me backwards, urging me along with his body. "Oh baby... I can show you more." He says, as I feel the bed against the backs of my legs. He pulls off his shirt, then unbuttons his khaki pants and pulls them off along with his socks and shoes. Holy shit... he went commando. I guess he didn't have any clean underwear.
"These jeans are nice... not too unlike the ones..." he says, but the tone of his voice says something different, a low growl in his throat. It's obvious that he thinks what's underneath is even nicer, because undresses me with as much speed as himself. He starts to push me back onto the bed, but I duck and spin around.
"Not so fast," I say, and when he turns to face me I push him back onto the bed. Okay, more like he fell back to humor me, but whatever... he still bounced quite nicely.
I straddle him and run my hands up from his abdomen to his chest. Hmm... he's beautiful. Now what?
"I've never been in control before," I say, just as much to myself as to him, and it's a revelation.
"Well I think it's time for you to start, don't you?" He asks.
Yes, I do.
=/=/=/=
"What's this?" I ask. I'm sated and comfortable, wearing a pair of my yoga pants and one of Christian's Montesano Bulldogs Track and Field hoodies. It's just like mine, but of course it's huge on me and and smells of Christian. Yum. I'm kneeling on the couch, examining a map that he's hung on the wall above it.
He clears his throat, hesitates before answering. "Um, Natalie and I were trying to run a marathon in all fifty states."
I look more closely and note where he's put little colored stickers. Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Washington, Oregon, California. Six in all. "Wow. That's quite the goal. You were trying to, or you are trying to?"
He props his right leg up on the couch and points to a long scar running lengthwise along the top of his knee. "I tore my ACL after the San Francisco marathon and... I think running was the last of what was holding us together. She left - we separated - not long after that."
"I'm sorry," I say. "And what's this?" I run my finger along a highlighted line that runs vertically from the Canadian border to the Mexican border, through Washington, Oregon, and California. The entire length is highlighted in yellow, while a section in Oregon is highlighted in pink.
"It was another goal - hiking the Pacific Coast Trail. I hiked this pink section after... I came to warch you run. And the entire length of it after my wife left, I quit my job, and and you... disappeared."
Oh.
"I'm not the only one who's given up a running dream," he says. "Ana, what really happened? You were... at the top of your field, you were an Olympic hopeful."
"I know," I say softly. "I just got... lost. I thought I needed him. I thought that I couldn't function without him."
"What would make you think that? The kid I knew was strong, knew what she wanted."
"Toes on the line... face forward... eyes on the prize," I say. "I guess I looked away, trusted the wrong person, made some bad decisions."
We just stare at the map for a few moments, feeling the weight of our pasts hanging heavy in the air.
"Enough," he says, leaning over and squeezing me around the shoulders. "Let me make us some dinner. You need to eat."
=/=/=/=
Christian grills out steak and veggie kebabs for us on a grill that he has behind the shed. He also has a small table and wooden Adirondack chairs set up on a little concrete patio. It's cooling off, but I'm warm and comfortable in his hoodie and a fleece blanket. I'm physically and emotionally spent, and it feels good to just sit for a little while. "The stars are amazing out here," I say, leaning my head back and just taking it all in.
"Yeah, we far enough away from the city... less light pollution out here. I have a telescope that we can bring out sometime."
We eat in silence, but I can almost hear the thoughts that must be running through his head right now.
"I can practically hear you thinking from here," I joke. "I know it's a lot, but you can ask me anything, Christian."
"Your sexual experiences - BDSM... it's not something I know," he says, speaking slowly as if he's trying to find the words. "Do you think that it's something you need?"
And here we have the million-dollar question. Do I need it? Do I want it? Can I live without it? Do I want to live without it?
"I've been trying to answer these questions for myself in these past months since I came back. It's hard to answer because there are some parts that - of course - I want to leave far, far behind. But those are the parts where he crossed the line from Dominant to abuser."
"And you think that you can see now where he crossed that line?"
"Yeah and I think, if I am being honest with myself, I knew it then. But, like I said, I looked away... and I lost myself."
"And before that - the other parts?"
I sigh. Here we go... all or nothing. No secrets. "I miss it sometimes."
"Like what?"
"It's a mixture of things, and honestly, it's not the physical parts that I miss the most. Giving over control to another person can be... freeing. It's a release. And sometimes when he was jealous? I liked it. I liked feeling that he desired me, that he wanted to care for and protect me. And that can be a very good thing..."
"Until it's not."
"Exactly. Jose saw my weaknesses and took advantage of me. And it happened so slowly, that I don't even think he was aware of it at first. But then... it's like he fed on that power and got greedy for it."
"Tell me about the physical parts. The ones you miss."
"I miss that mix of pleasure and pain. It's very... satisfying and it meets a need in me that I can't even really explain. And - you know - toys? Those can be very fun if you use them correctly."
"Toys? Like what?"
"Ohh... my favorites were leather cuffs, floggers, crops... spreaders."
"Spreaders?"
"Um, to -" I bury my face in my hands. "Oh gosh, I've always been on the receiving end of this. I've never had to explain myself before. It's like an expandable bar, with ankle cuffs? And it holds the person's legs..."
Christian clears his throat and I can see him shift in his chair, adjust himself.
"Is this turning you on?"
"Maybe."
=/=/=/=
"Loop that end over... now under... good. Now tighten it." I'm on all-fours, instructing Christian on how to tie me to the bedpost. He's using his Bellevue High School navy and gold striped tie. This seems a little... topping from the bottom? But I think it just might be worth it. Christian's concentrating fully, the tip of his tongue sticking out from between his teeth.
I'm completely naked, my hair in a braid, and he's stripped down to his sweatpants. The way he looks right now... I'm about to spontaneously combust. He stands back to admire his handiwork, and his gaze is dark and... he's pitching quite the tent.
"Now kneel behind me, and -"
Christian holds up one hand to silence me, and then leans over to check my bindings. Okay... we already talked about what we were going to do in the scene. He's got it from here.
He climbs onto the bed behind me, traces the length of my spine with one finger, and then his hand comes down and... pats my ass.
"What was that, Grey?" I growl. "Harder!"
I feel his hand leave my ass and come back down, and this time I feel the sting as his palm connects. And it reverberates through my body and right to my core. "Yesss..." I pant. "Again."
He rubs his hand in a circular motion, and - slap! - again... and again.
"Good... now -"
"Hush," he says, and I feel him reach up and grab my braid with one hand while positioning himself at my entrance with the other. "FUCK... Ana!" He shouts as he thrusts, sheathing himself completely.
Between the stinging on my ass, the burning of my scalp from his grip on my hair, and - him - I come almost instantly, combusting as my knees buckle and I start to sink onto the mattress, but the binding holds tight. "Ah!" I cry as I feel him thrust twice more and then collapse on top of my back.
He slips out of me and rolls over to the side, looking expectantly at me like he's waiting for his grade. "How was that?" He asks.
"Good..." I giggle. "A-plus. Maybe next time we'll last more than twenty seconds. Now, aftercare... can you -" I use my head to gesture to my hands.
"Oh! Of course..." and he carefully loosens the bindings before removing the tie from my wrists. His brow furrows when he sees the small red marks left on my skin, and he leans in and kisses each one.
"Christian? I think you just might be a natural Dominant," I say, and I can feel the grin that's spreading across my face. Oh yes, he - this - definitely has potential.
=/=/=/=
I swipe my hand across the steamed-up mirror, trying in vain to see myself clearly while applying my eyeliner. It's Monday morning - Memorial Day - so technically the school is closed, but I'm going in for paperwork at 9:00. I'm dressed in Bellevue High School colors again, with a white and gold shirt and navy linen pants. Maybe I should wear that tie looped around my neck. I quickly check my wrists to make sure the marks are gone, picturing the bold colors against my skin, and they are.
My hair is wild from the humidity, little tendrils springing out all around my head. I quickly twist it into a bun, securing it with several bobby pins that I have managed to find at the bottom of my cosmetics bag.
Christian comes in just as I am securing the last bobby pin. "Sorry it gets so steamy in here... it's not vented properly and I've been meaning to get to it."
"It's okay, I've got it," I say, turning around and giving him a quick peck on the lips, and a taste of my cherry lip gloss. "You gonna give me a ride to my car or what?"
"I can just take you to the school, Ana. The hotel's out of the way... we can go there after?"
"Umm... I'm thinking that I need to show up at the school on my own, Christian. Can't have them knowing that I was shacking up with you all weekend. I was supposed to be apartment hunting, and I was going to go to IKEA..."
He rolls his eyes. "No. No apartment and NO IKEA. That cheap Swedish stuff is crap."
I stick my lower lip out in a pout. "I like it... and what do you mean, no apartment?"
He doesn't say anything, just searches my face with those gray eyes, his expression hopeful... and adorable. Irresistable.
"Are you sure? Are you asking me to move in with you?" I turn and leave the bathroom with him following.
"I thought - I thought you said you wanted to be where I was? And that my bed was comfortable." Now he's the one pouting.
"Yes... I mean, for the weekend and for fun, but - it's only been two days, Christian. Are you sure we're ready for this? You have your whole - life - going on with building your house and your guy things," I say, gesturing toward an ATV and a gun rack, a collection of tools in one corner of the shed.
He smirks. "Ana, that ATV is mostly for doing work around the property... hauling rock, plowing snow... not for joy riding. And the guns are for target practice and going out to hunt wild turkeys with my brother like once a year. Do you not want to be a part of - all this - the cramped living quarters, the construction..."
I put one finger up to his lips to shush him, picture him shirtless and sweaty, wielding a chainsaw. Yeah, I can live with it. "It's not that at all. If you want me here, then I want to be here. I have two more weeks of student teaching, but after that -"
"So that's a yes? You'll move in here with me?"
"Yes... yes, YES!" I squeal, as he lifts me up and twirls me around in a circle.
=/=/=/=
Christian gets his way, dropping me off at the school about ten minutes before my meeting with Principal Hobbes.
I feel like a petulant teenager when I have him pull over just after we enter the circular drive. "Just drop me off here, okay. And don't come in!" I hiss.
Christian rolls his eyes at me, but gives into my demands. He leans over and gives me a soft kiss. "If we're going to be... together, you know everyone's going to find out eventually, right?"
"I know, but let me get this contact signed first, okay? I don't want to blow this before I even get started."
He nods. "Text me when you're done."
The contract is pretty standard, including figures for a first year teacher's salary. I take a moment to read it over, the $38,500.00 staring back at me in bold print. It's more than I've ever made before, and it's about what I was expecting, but seriously... Is this all we're paying teachers? Oh well, it's not like I'll have too many expenses if I move in with Christian. I might even be able to afford a new car...
"Everything look all right, Ana?" he asks, interrupting my runaway thoughts.
"Oh yes... it's fine. I was actually looking and - I mean, I don't see anything about a no fraternization policy," I say, trying to keep my voice even and neutral.
He shifts in his chair, and I can tell he's thinking about what to say. "Well, no... of course we expect that any... relationships will not interfere with the workday or the - professionalism - of our staff. Even if there were a policy in place, any - um - previous relationships, even ones very recently established? They would, of course, be grandfathered in."
His face is growing redder as he speaks, and I can tell that the subject is embarrassing him a little. Even if he suspects that Christian and I - fraternized - over the weekend, it's a good thing he doesn't know the details of what went on in that shed!
"Oh good. Well in that case... a pen?" I quickly scrawl my signature, and I am officially an employee of the Bellevue School District.
I realize halfway through the pile of mind-numbing forms that I don't know Christian's address. I consider texting him, but decide to just put down my address in Montesano. I'm afraid that putting Christian's address will be more than Hobbes can handle right now.
Heck, I can hardly believe it myself. I sign the last form with a flourish and lean back in my chair. Done. This weekend has been quite the ride... and it's just the beginning.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little taste of domestic bliss!
If you're following me on Facebook, you know that I broke my finger on Tuesday. Next time, I will say NO to cross-country skiing and stay home and write... one-handed.
Anyway, I am headed into surgery this morning to get it patched up. Hoping to keep up with my updates, but if I lag behind, this is why! Fortunately, this chapter was mostly written already, but others are not. Grr. It's a real pain in the... finger!